Posted:
He had told me for the umpteenth time he didn't love me that day.
But a few minutes before that he has confessed his love for me apparently just to save my life that was in danger. And I don't know why he had this ability to make me believe in my love for him how much ever he didn't want to go there.
I had decided to keep faith in my love, in my destiny that had me tied to him.
But that perhaps was the most foolish decision of my life. And may be I should be glad I was made aware of it that very night.
So that night, his girlfriend had made me aware how I lived in a bubble all this while. She had told me she was pregnant with his child.
My heart was cut into pieces yet again, similar but way more painful to what happened on my wedding night where got to know my husband had a girlfriend.
To think of it, I can't believe how I never wanted to really admit this one fact of my life. My husband had another woman in his life who was his love and I would never be.
Yet, I had fallen in love with him, expected him to love me back, had dreamt of a life with him, despite him denying it to me a hundred times.
Yes, he was a kind soul with a big heart, he had been a support to me and my family, and I adored him but that didn't need to mean love. He had saved my life, and shared a unique bond with me, that didn't need to mean love either. I should have known he doesn't think of me more than a friend, a well wisher of just a responsibility for we were married.
How could I be this foolish? Why did I never understand we were never meant to be?
Our marriage was a misunderstanding, a pretension, a mere responsibility- our marriage was never love.
And it didn't need to be the end of the world for me.
Just because I believed I loved him, it didn't mean he needed to stay away from his love. I don't need to be a third wheel between him and his love and now his own family that is gonna form.
So, that night I made a decision. I was going to tell my heart to stop crying for him. I was going to take myself out of the delusions I had created for myself.
I went to my mother's house and told her I was going to live with them for the next few days to help care for my sister who had met with an accident. And I texted him the same reason so that he and his grandma do not worry about my whereabouts.
I was going to talk him after a day or two, after my eyes would take their tears out, after my heart stabilizes. Perhaps he would talk to me himself about his girlfriend's pregnancy.
I locked myself in the room I grew up and silently cried my heart out.
...
...
...
And in the wee hours of morning, when I heard a bird chirp, I also heard my mobile beep with a text.
'Fuggy, I can't sleep, I am dying to see you. I am missing you so badly, I am coming to your house first thing in the morning. Love you'
But a few minutes before that he has confessed his love for me apparently just to save my life that was in danger. And I don't know why he had this ability to make me believe in my love for him how much ever he didn't want to go there.
I had decided to keep faith in my love, in my destiny that had me tied to him.
But that perhaps was the most foolish decision of my life. And may be I should be glad I was made aware of it that very night.
So that night, his girlfriend had made me aware how I lived in a bubble all this while. She had told me she was pregnant with his child.
My heart was cut into pieces yet again, similar but way more painful to what happened on my wedding night where got to know my husband had a girlfriend.
To think of it, I can't believe how I never wanted to really admit this one fact of my life. My husband had another woman in his life who was his love and I would never be.
Yet, I had fallen in love with him, expected him to love me back, had dreamt of a life with him, despite him denying it to me a hundred times.
Yes, he was a kind soul with a big heart, he had been a support to me and my family, and I adored him but that didn't need to mean love. He had saved my life, and shared a unique bond with me, that didn't need to mean love either. I should have known he doesn't think of me more than a friend, a well wisher of just a responsibility for we were married.
How could I be this foolish? Why did I never understand we were never meant to be?
Our marriage was a misunderstanding, a pretension, a mere responsibility- our marriage was never love.
And it didn't need to be the end of the world for me.
Just because I believed I loved him, it didn't mean he needed to stay away from his love. I don't need to be a third wheel between him and his love and now his own family that is gonna form.
So, that night I made a decision. I was going to tell my heart to stop crying for him. I was going to take myself out of the delusions I had created for myself.
I went to my mother's house and told her I was going to live with them for the next few days to help care for my sister who had met with an accident. And I texted him the same reason so that he and his grandma do not worry about my whereabouts.
I was going to talk him after a day or two, after my eyes would take their tears out, after my heart stabilizes. Perhaps he would talk to me himself about his girlfriend's pregnancy.
I locked myself in the room I grew up and silently cried my heart out.
...
...
...
And in the wee hours of morning, when I heard a bird chirp, I also heard my mobile beep with a text.
'Fuggy, I can't sleep, I am dying to see you. I am missing you so badly, I am coming to your house first thing in the morning. Love you'
Ye Hai Mohabbatein
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