Hi again...
thank you so much to everyone that had read this and posted words of encouragement - here is the second part. I hope your all enjoy it
Again Hindi isn't my first language and this was done on Notepad so the spelling and punctuation may be off.
Thank you again for reading
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Chapter 2
The sun was rising. It's bright rays seeped into the rockstars room
Saturating it in soft orange hues. Pragya could feel the dawn creeping up on her closed eyes. Every other morning Pragya would beat the sun and be risen and ready before the first light hit her room. But not today. Even before she opens her eyes the events and thoughts of yesterday sit like a solid wall in her conscious mind waiting to greet her as she comes up from the unconscious realm. Her dreams at first had been dark and haunting, like she was alone and no one cared for her. But somehow through the night they had transformed poetically into array of colours and warmth. She felt hopeful in her dreams. Abhi was there shielding her protectively from the dark. She lay there for what seemed like a few minutes with her eyes closed. As soon as she opened her eyes it meant she would have to deal with reality and right now she was still feeling broken. If she was sound minded enough to realise that, Pragya knew she was definitely awake.
One thing that didn't escape her notice (eyes closed or not) was the incredible warmth she was feeling right now. It was only after sometime she registered just exactly where this warmth was coming from.
She slowly opened her eyes to find she was fully enclosed in Abhis embrace. Furthermore she was on the bed! How did she get here? She remembered being sat out on the balcony and crying. But she didn't know when she fell asleep or at what point she may have moved herself here. But then a thought hit her. Maybe Abhi moved her?
"No stop it"she thought.
If he did, he did it out of Humanity or guilt remember. But that did not explain why they were slept the way they were. She was facing forward and abhi was snuggled into her back. He had both arms wrapped right around her and his head was rested in the crook of her neck from behind. There was no evidence of a pillow wall what so ever! She could feel his soft snores and breath on the side of her neck. It was making her feel giddy. Abhi's arms where like steel bars wound around her chest and stomach. His legs were arranged into hers. She wriggled a little to try and get out from his hold. But to no prevail! If anything when she tried to move abhi increased his grip on her and moved his head further into her neck! O god what was going on. At this close proximity to her, Pragya couldn't think straight. Her heart was already sounding like she had run a morning marathon. What if he could feel it! After all one of his arms was draped right around her chest. Pragya really did not know what to think or do. This situation was impeding on her ability to think straight. Right now her heart was running away while her mind was desperately trying to reel it back in. The longer she stayed like this the harder it was getting. Humanity and guilt were what she kept telling herself. She had no choice but to either wake him up or wait until he was awake to move.
All the while abhi was sleeping like a king. Last night he didn't know what he was thinking when he decided to spoon pragya when he slept. All he knew was that he needed her close by so that he could sleep peacefully. And that is how he justified it to himself. It was probably because she had been kidnapped and that he needed reassurance that she would still be there in the morning. Yes that is exactly why he decided to spoon her. His legs were tangled in hers and his head rested on her shoulder. He was in between the stages of awake and sleep, when he felt something stir in his arms. He didn't need to open his eyes to recognise that sweet fragrance and the tickle of Pragyas hair. The rockstar was not ready to wake up just yet and if he was honest, that was the best night sleep he had ever had. Period. He could feel Pragya awake and decided to increase his grip on her to stop her from running away and disturbing his peaceful slumber. Deep down as wrong as he knew his actions were for spooning her, they felt so right. He knew he should not lead her on unnecessarily, especially as he has no idea what his own brain is thinking regarding his feelings towards her. But It was as if Fuggy was made to sleep in his arms and the quality of sleep he had gotten well it could be compared to non.
Pragya knew she had to get out of this embrace before she completely lost the last shred of self control she possessed. With all her courage and might she mustered up a shakey
"Suniye..."
Nothing. Abhi did not even stir. She tried and struggled to move herself around so that she was now facing Abhi. When she saw his face, a very small part of her melted away. He looked so boyish and carefree, with a slight smile on his face. Pragyas stomach was doing somersaults. She had never actually been this close to abhi before, well not while he was conscious enough to wake up but he was making her feel even more confused. pragya tried desperately to hold on to "guilt" and "humanity" but even Pragya wasn't that naive. Maybe he did like her after all... Maybe...
No no! She cursed herself for thinking in this way.
"Ye hi soch apko yaha laaye hai" she thought to herself.
"Apko himmat aur dooriya rakhna hai Pragya, ap kamzur mat ho" She silently motivated herself.
She placed one hand at the side of his neck and chest closest to the pillow and shakily caressed the other across Abhis cheek and said louder this time
"Suniye..." Abhis eyes flew open. He didn't expect pragya to be facing him. "App please mujhese chordije, m m mujhe Jaan hai"
Pragya could not help stammer her
Words. She quickly removed her hand from his face and noticed his eyes showed an array of emotions but all she could think of was how close he was to her and in which way he was strongly holding her down. After a split second abhi moved his arm and opened his mouth to speak but to his surprise he didn't say anything. He didn't know what to say to her. What would
He even say? Abhi was more confused than ever, he had no idea what was happening to him.
Pragya felt a bit disappointed. Somewhere in her mind she had hoped abhi had slept in that way with her on purpose but she quickly convinced herself this must have been in his sleep and painfully told herself he probably thought she was Tanu. Pragya couldn't think in what ifs anymore. As soon as abhi moved his arms from around her, she swung her legs off the bed and ran straight into the bathroom, before she could give Abhi a chance to say anything.
Abhi watched her retreat to the bathroom. What would he actually have said to her? Abhi sat there silently for a few moments rubbing his forehead wondering over everything. Today he needed to sort out this mess and make some decisions once and for all. He didn't know what the outcome would be, but he did know he could never hurt pragya. As he stared in the direction she went, Abhi slowly got himself out of bed and made his way to his closet. He thought it may be better if he weren't around Pragya as he genuinely didn't know what to say to her. He thought it would be best to avoid her until he had sorted through his emotions and feelings. Yes that is what he would do. With that in mind, he grabbed his things and went off to the guest room to get ready.
Pragya stood in the bathroom after having a scolding hot shower. She stared at herself in the giant mirror that adorned one half of the room. She had never considered herself beautiful or desirable, but someone how abhi made her feel special. Even in his worst moments he looked at her as though she was precious. She looked around at the bathroom that they shared. Very soon he would share this bathroom
With Tanu. She carefully touched the numerous bottles of aftershave and bathroom smellies, letting her fingers lingering slightly on his favourite toiletries. She thought of all the tantrums he used to throw when he didn't get his own way, or when one of these hadn't been restocked in his bathroom. A slight smile came to her lips. The thought of him and his petulant ways always made her smile. How could she not be in love with him. He was so caring and gentle and childish all at once. All she wanted was for him to be happy. And if this lay with Tanu so be it. She withdrew her hands from the various bottles, as she did so a hollow feeling engulfed her, tears had started to brew and were threatening to spill over any second.
No. She would not do this to herself. She had decided that she would not let any emotion get in the way of what she had planned last night. Pragyas first course of action was to harden herself to any emotion. She could not allow her heart to make any more decisions for her. She had let Bulbul talk her into telling Abhi how she felt about him. If she had have used her brain she would not be in this painful mess. She would not taking back telling him. Even if he was never hers she wanted him to know how much she cared for him, but this idea of him feeling the same way, well that thought really was out of a Fairy Tale. She was the geeky "chashmish" professor and he was the famous Rockstar, in the modern era a sort of prince to his fans and people. She knew what she had to do and it killed her to even think about it. Pragya made her way to the bathroom door, and took a deep breath. She knew once she walked on the other side of this door, she would have to pretend again. Pretend everything was okay to her family, to his family, and to him. She would not let herself be his weakness. She knew he cared for her, and understood that he did so out of nothing more than respect for what she had done for him. She would not make this difficult for him no matter how hard it would be for herself. Pragya took one final breath and opened the door. To her surprise she didn't see abhi there.
She anxiously edged her way slowly into the room, craning her neck just to make sure she was definitely alone. She breathed out a sigh of relief. She walked over to her Mandir, and looked at it for a long moment. Today pragya was upset with god, she knew what ever he did he had a plan for them all, but that didn't stop her being angry with god. She lit her diyas, and said a quick prayer asking only for strength to deal with what he had laid before her and to always keep him and his family happy. She set down her incense sticks and made her way out of the room.
Today was a happy morning in the Mehra household. Abhi and Pragya were home safe and sound and if this was not a reason for celebration daadi didn't know what was. The ambience in the house was something different today, gone was the tension that came with the awful events of the past few days, instead this morning dadi had woken up feeling happy and grateful her family was in one peace. She sat on the sofa with her sisters and engaged in idle chatter. Laughing and smiling. Pragya who was observing this from the top of the stairs wondered how on earth this sweet woman was going to handle what would come to pass. Pragya did not want to be the one to tell dadi, but last night she had decided, she must be the one to tell her. Dadi respected, loved, and above all listened to her. She knew that if she broke this to dadi there would be a better chance of her understanding the situation and dealing with it. Pragya really didn't know how she would approach the subject or how she would even begin to explain everything. She did not want to ruin dadis happiness and she knew if she left, there was a chance she may hate her for leaving abhi.
"pragya beta... Yahaa aja..."
She was brought quickly out of her thoughts when she heard dadi calling her. She quickly plastered her fake smile on and glided down the stairs to meet the rest of the family.
"ha sahi kerahi hai didi, ab bulbul aur purab ki shaadi me aur der nahi honi chaiye" dasi said. All morning the elders of the house had been discussing what to do to improve the atmosphere in the house, and what better way to do this than to continue with the happiest of all celebrations. A wedding.
"Ha ha, me janti hu, abhi ko ane do phir me unse baat karungi"
"Pragya, kaha hai Abhi, unko bola do, mujhe unse zaroori bat karni hai"
Pragya was about to speak when Abhi made an appearance. He was washed and showered back in his signature Tshirts, dog tags and ripped jeans. She didn't want to admit it but he looked handsome. Her thoughts were taken back to this morning when she was, what felt like, protectively wrapped up in those strong able arms...she snapped out of her thoughts.
"Kya hua dadi, Kya baat hai jo zaroori hai?"
Abhi looked straight at dadi to avoid Pragya's gaze, she was stood directly opposite him next to where dadi was sat. She was fidgeting with her mangalsutra also avoiding looking at him. She looked cute. Abhi could always tell when something was bothering her. She fidgeted. Whether It be her magulsutra which she wore exclusively for him, or the kangans that dadi had put on her wrists. When she was nervous she fidgeted, that or she swung her arms uncontrollably by her side. The thought brought an unexpected smile to Abhis face. She was very strange in her ways, but they were endearing to him. He really was starting to see her in a different light and he really didn't know what was going on. He stole a glance at her when he knew she wasn't looking at him, he looked at her slightly in awe. She looked gorgeous. Today she was wearing a dark red anarkali suit. With light gold detailing around the hem and neck. Her make up was always light, yet flattering to her features. She never wore excessive jewellery, just the symbol she carries as his wife and the golden kangan her dadi had given her. Would tanu wear these old fashion kangans everyday without protest to make dadi happy? He would like to believe so, but off course deep down he knew different.
Pragya on the other hand was doing her best to block abhi from her mind. It did not help that he was stood feet Away from her. She was looking everywhere around the room but him, toying with her mangalsutra she stole a quick glance at him. To her surprise he was looking directly at her with a strange expression on his face.
"Hey Bhagwan please app to meri madat kijye. Kyu mujhe esi mussibat me phasa dey" it took pragya all her energy and will not to start crying. She really was struggling to keep all her overwhelming emotions at bay. She needed to take cover somewhere that was not amongst all these people. She needed time still to gather her thoughts on what she would do.
"Dadi me jake nashta tayaar kardungi..."
Without giving anyone a moment to protest she turned around and walked away to the kitchen. Pragya was walking as fast as she could hoping and praying she didn't have some sort of an anxiety attack. For a moment she wondered how on earth she would find the strength to leave him. But that didn't matter. She would find it. She always did.
Abhi noticed her retreating again. He knew she was having a hard time here. He didn't understand fully what it was that was making her this way. He knew he was wrong about Tanu's parents, and shit he hadn't even apologised to her or even tried to talk with her. But that meant discussing the future. Right now abhi didn't know what he wanted. Abhi was brought back to the room from his thoughts, when dadi asked him
"To...?"
"To Kya daadi...?"
Abhi realised he had not listened to a single word dadi had just said. He was so busy in thoughts of Fuggy that he had not realised his dadi was speaking to him.
"Ohhfoo Abhi, tum bi na, me bulbul or purab ki shaadi ki bat karehe hu, tum kaha khogaye ho?"
Dasi piped up "rehne do didi, un ki biwi ko goor goor dekne se katham hojaye tab vo sunegi apki bat"
The ladies all laughed, "tum bhi na" dadi replied giggling "un dono se rehne do"
After they had finished there teasing, they got back to speaking about more serious issues. Over breakfast it was decided that Bulbul and purab would continue the rest of their rituals tomorrow and the wedding would take place the day after. In the afternoon Pragyas family were invited over for lunch and to discuss and finalise plans. Pragya and abhi were ones seated amongst the family members, though abhi had noticed pragya sat furthest away from him. She was busy engaged with her family talking about the up coming wedding, and abhi noticed that while she sat with her family, she had a genuine smile on her face. Abhi felt sad that there were only a hand full of times he was responsible for such a smile. He continued to make small talk with the family and took a moment to really appreciate everything that he had been blessed with in life. A family that adored him, his dadi, a fantastic career. Everything. Even pragya. She had taught him a great many things in the time they had spent together and he could not help but feel appreciation for her.
The news of this wedding did give Pragya's heart a sense of contentment. At least her sister would come off happy in all of this. Pragya sat and spoke with bulbul and her mother, and made plans for all of the small details for the wedding. They had been sat for sometime when Pragya decided to get snacks and refreshments for everyone.
"Dadi me ja kar Sab kilye kuch snacks or chai liyati hoom"
"Theek hai beta... Ap robin ko
Kehdo apki madat karni ki liye..."
Bulbul stood up, "robin kyu dadi me hoon na, me di ki madat kardungi..."
Abhi was about to seize this opportunity to go and speak to pragya and see if she was okay after last night, but Bulbul had gotten there first. Miffed abhi slumped back down in his chair and continued to speak with purab.
Bulbul had her own reasons for wanting to speak with Pragya. Yesterday after she had come home, bulbul didn't want to pester her di about sordid details of her and her jeejus alone time in the jungle, but even Bulbuls patience had it's limits. It was wearing thing and she needed details. She followed her sister into the kitchen skipping behind her. Pragya new exactly why Bulbul had offered to come and help. Normally pragya did not mind her childish ways especially when it came to helping her in love. Pragya wasn't very good with boys or love or romance, that was all Bulbuls department. All of her sisters efforts to bring her and abhi closer together had not materialised and right now she didn't need anyone telling her that there was still hope. there was none and she didn't want to be told otherwise.
"So di... Tumne nahi bataaya tum or jeeju ke beej me ky hua jungle me..." Bulbul pried cheekily. Pragya really wasn't in any mood to discuss this but bulbul was being extra petulant today. Normally she loved her sister, and she was grateful to her deep down for making her tell Abhi how she felt, but Bulbul was the optimistic one. She hadn't experienced rejection like Pragya had and right now Bulbul couldn't help her, because she had never been on the receiving end of such an emotion.
"Di... Apko mujhe abhi se abhi apki love kahani Kehne parengi, varna hum Sab ke samne jeeju ko puchongi" she said with a mischievous grin on her face as she put some samosas in oil to fry
"Nahi bulbul..."
"di me kuch nahi suno gi, apko muje batene hongi"
Bulbul kept cutting pragya off without giving her chance to explain herself. This was beginning to annoy Pragya, she tried to ignore her and stay silent as she prepared tea for everyone, but In her heart she really did want to tell someone about the most fearful yet magical time of her life...
Pragya thought for a second. She laid the cups on the counter turned to look at Bulbul and said
"Theek hai, me batadungi tumse, Lekin uski baat ap kuch beej me nahi bolengi. App ko mujhe se vada Karni hai ke me jo faisle le ungi, tum mere saat dongi"
Bulbul looked scared she put down the utensil and cupped pragyas face
"Di yeh ap Kya kerahi hai? Kuch hua hai?"
"Nahi bulbul, Lekin apko mujhse promise karna hai..."
She put out her hand as though making bulbul make a pact with her.
Pragya had once again surprised herself, she managed to say that to her keeping a poker straight face and not faltering emotionally once.
Bulbul was a little scared. Her sister was normally light hearted, serious yes, but melancholy no. But she really did want to hear about their time In the jungle. So reluctantly she met her palm with her sisters and promised that she wouldn't speak or do anything when pragya finished her story.
Pragya narrated the entire story with animation and creativity while they prepared samosas and tea. Bulbul laughed and was scared and over whelmed all at the same time. She started with when she was kidnapped, and all the events after, up to the point abhi was shot. She very shyly explained how she had given him mouth to mouth resuscitation when he wasn't breathing and how she cared for him in the jungle. She didn't leave out the fact that she told him how she felt about him. Bulbul was shocked and happy all at the same time. All the while she could see all the different emotions light up in her sisters face as she told her story. Bulbul was engrossed in her sisters tale and hoped that the ending was going to be a happy one, but when pragya finished. She did just that.
"So di Abh tum Kya karongi?"
"Kuch nahi" pragya deliberately left out the part about Tanu and her parents. pragya didn't have the strength to explain this to bulbul, all she wanted was for her to respect her decision.
"Kya matlab? Apko jeeju ko puchna hai ke vo tumse pyaar Karte hai?"
"Vo nahi Karte hai bulbul. Bas abhi is mamle me kuch baat nahi karni hai, tumne mujhse vada kiya tha, usko yaad rakhna"
With that pragya hastily took the tray with the snacks and went bAck to the front hall for everyone to eat. Bulbul ran behind pragya, but she knew there was no point in saying anything just yet, she needed to find out what had happened to have snuffed out all the hope she had tried to give her sister. Bulbul decided she needed to speak to purab.
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