PURAB
I hesitantly stepped into the house. The door was wide open. Media, famous people and relatives I've known my life were all here to wish Abhi and Aaliyah condolence. It's been two years since I left this place. I swore to myself that I will never ever come to this country, let alone this house. I left way with so much pain, hurt, hatred and feeling betrayed. But mostly overwhelmed by guilt and shame. For being weak. I wasn't able to stand up for myself or for the girl I loved once, Bulbul. I betrayed Abhi and Aaliyah, but at the same time they hurt me too. So, I left feeling every single negative emotion one can actually feel all at once. I took a deep breath and entered into the house. Abhi was sitting down beside the coffin where I am sure daadi's body is in. Funny, how once someone's life is gone, they become nothing but merely a body. I've never seen my parent's body. They are vague in my mind, but I don't remember seeing them in funeral eventhough I was present there throughout the wake. I don't even remember seeing their lifeless body. The therapist my uncle and aunt brought me to when I was young said that my conscious mind blocked the memory, as it was too much for me to take. I wish my mind does the same thing right now. Because looking at Daadi, who cared and loved for me like my own parent is gone. All that is left in the coffin is a body I don't recognize. I think I am going to lose it, soon. My eyes looked at Abhi who sat on his knees looking at Daadi. He looked lifeless, to be honest. I braced myself and approached him. I touched his shoulders and he looked up right at me. His face said nothing much. He got up and hugged me tightly. He laid his head on my shoulders and cried. How much have I missed this embrace? This strong embrace that has always guided me like how a brother should. I hugged him back and consoled him. I know how much he loved Daadi. More than anyone could ever imagine.
After all the ritual was done, I helped Abhi to clean the house. We had a long chat about how things went wrong. And apparently, so many events has happened. Bulbul and Pragya's mother, Sarla ma has died two years ago, right after my departure. All I remembered was breaking up with Bulbul right before she entered into the hospital. To move on, I packed up my bag and left. To Australia. To start fresh and forget the pain. But how selfish have I been. Leaving Bulbul and Pragya di at a time, when they needed me most. I don't even deserve to look at them. Abhi and Pragya divorced right after that. What a mess has this place been after the whole wedding hiatus that was supposed to happen between me and Aaliyah? Frantically, I started searching for Aaliyah. The last time I saw her before, I said mean things to her that I never really meant and even yelled at her. I had sleepless nights thinking about how wrong I was to do that to her.
"What are you searching for?" Abhi asked.
"Not what. Who, actually," I said. Abhi raised an eyebrow.
"Aaliyah, where is she bhai?" I asked. He didn't say anything. I understand if he doesn't want me to see her.
After a long silence he said, "She has lost it, Purab. I don't know what happened to her. All this two years she has done nothing but live aimlessly. Now, that daadi has died she finally lost her mind. Yesterday, she cried hysterically getting me all worried. Since the wedding was cancelled, she has gone a little haywire. I've brought her to therapist, yet they all seem to be helpless too."
"Where is she now, Bhai?" I asked him worriedly. That doesn't sound like the strong and individualistic Aaliyah I've always known.
"She is locked in her room," Abhi answered.
Without saying anything, I went upstairs to her room. Abhi came behind me and gave the key. He smiled sadly and walked away. I held my breath and opened the door. And there was Aaliyah sleeping, all tucked in her favorite comforter. She looks vulnerable and pale without the make-up. Her hair was tied into a mess ponytail. I swear, she never looked so pretty before. I approached her and sat on the bed next to her. I could hear her soft breathing. And I remembered the times I protected her in school when the children used to bully her as she wasn't rich as the others. Abhi and I will threaten the kids and break their stuff. Aaliyah would come and hug me all that times and I will hug her back protectively. I slowly touched her face. They were still soft but wet at the same time. Looks like she cried herself to sleep. As I traced my index finger from her hairline to her cheek, she moved a little. She smiled. I remember how I used to sing her lullaby and put her to sleep. And after that, I will touch her face slightly, because she has always liked the way my hands felt on her skin. And I would do that every night I had sleepover in Abhi's house. How she always hated that she can't sleep with Abhi and me, because she was a girl. My eyes started to glisten with tears. Oh, god. I love this girl. Always have been in love with this girl. Just never realized it, until now. I lost track of myself for a while. I loved Bulbul too but Aaliyah was my first crush and first love. I remember having crush at her back in high school. How pretty she looked in that high ponytail and short pinafore? I used to threaten the guys in my class to never look at her as she was mine. How possessive I was towards this girl. How on earth did I ever forget that?
I've turned her into this wreck, yet a very beautiful one sleeping silently beside me. Aaliyah opened her eyes slowly and they widened. She got up and moved my hand away.
"What are you doing here? Get away," she shouted angrily.
"Bhai, bhai, bhai, ask him to get lost, Bhai," she continued shrieking. I tried to calm her but had no choice and closed her mouth with my hand. She stopped screaming but started kicking me. I had no choice but to hold her legs with my other free hand. God, this girl has gone lunatic. How is it possible that she is physically stronger than me? She started swatting me with her hands. Ouch. That hurts. And this hurts too. Okay, I deserve it, but ouch! It hurts, for god sake. I took my hand from the mouth and pinned her hands on the bed lying. I was technically on top of her and her breathing got heavier. My face was close to hers and our noses touched. I could feel her warm breath on me. I let go of her leg and brought my right hand to her waist. She inhaled a sharp breath. I remember there were multiple times when she wanted to kiss me. And here I am going to give it to her, without her even having to ask. I slammed my mouth into hers. Our whole body shook with passion. She didn't even fight back. She kissed me back without any hesitation. I let go of her hand and took her face with my left hand. She pulled me closer with her hand on my hair. All the pain and betrayal melted. At first, we kissed vigorously, but slowly softened. My hand started to explore her body and I took her shirt off. My hand was on her bra strap when Abhi walked in on us. I was so shocked that I lost my balance and fell off the bed. Aaliyah got up and put back her shirt on. We both hid our faces that we didn't dare to look at Abhi's reaction. I felt the door closed and slowly climbed onto the bed.
"That was close," I said.
"What are you doing here, Purab?" Aaliyah asked with tears on her eyes.
"You know why," I said.
"Daadi?" she asked while a tear dropped from her cheek.
I wiped it away and said, "And you, and Abhi."
"What were we doing just now?" she asked. Her voice is all calm. Long gone the girl who nagged at things. That lively girl who used to judge everyone and who made me laugh with nasty sarcasm remarks is nowhere to be seen.
"It just happened Aaliyah. I've got no explanation for that," I said slowly. She straightened herself and got up from the bed.
I stayed at the Mehra's for a week. Abhi was already planning to leave the mansion. He even got himself a penthouse in some condominium. He wasn't even the same Abhi anymore. He is more practical, calm and collected. The childish part of him has disappeared too. So, we all changed. We are not the same person anymore. There was a small part of me that wanted to meet Bulbul. Just to see how she's doing, but I stopped myself. I can't keep repeating the same mistake. She was never for the one for me. We weren't the ones who had their name written in the stars. We were so wrong and only brought out the worst in each other. I want to be here for Aaliyah. To put this girl back into one piece. To repent all my mistakes.
After that kiss, Aaliyah never really looked into my eyes again. She hides herself in the room whenever she sees me. Who knew I could intimidate her. I wanted to confront her but at the same time wanted her to be alone at home. To avoid any incident of Abhi walking on us again. I needed some privacy with her. I was too busy helping Abhi to get a place that I had no time to have a proper talk with her. Abhi never confronted that incident with me. Thank, god! After all, it's his sister, so that must be embarrassing. Why embarrass ourselves further?
That evening, Abhi went out for some interview. Aaliyah as usual locked herself in the room. I knocked and entered in. She was listening to music in her iPod through the speaker. She was listening to Cut by Plumb. God, cut out the depression already, honey.
"You need to come out, you know. I am starting to suspect you're some kind of vampire," I said in a horrible attempt of making joke.
"Huh, not funny," she said and plugged earphones as a sign to shut me out.
"Talk to me, Aaliyah," I said and said at the side of her queen mattress. Her hair was loose and there wasn't even a tiny bit of make-up on her face. God, how beautiful is this girl. She was wearing a short and oversized black shirt. What wouldn't I do to get my hands all underneath that shirt? I am craving to touch the beautiful skin of hers. Shut up, Purab. Don't be an idiot. Can you control your hormone-riled up body for a while? I sighed frustrated as she kept ignoring me.
"What do you want, Purab?" she finally asked after a long silence.
"To talk to you," I said.
"About what? What else is there to talk about?" she asked.
"Us," I said.
"Isn't that chapter closed way tight when you left me on our-my wedding and publicly slapped and humiliated me?" I asked
"Well, for the latter one I was just helping you. You already humiliated yourself in public by strangling Bulbul," I said teasingly.
"Shut up, Purab," she said angrily and threw her bolster to me. It hit my face. What's up with violence and this girl?
"Ouch," I grunted. She gave a victory smile.
"And don't even mention that bitch's name at my face," she said in a stern voice but I could sense the jealousy in her voice.
"Okay, okay Aaliyah. I won't," I said and went to the center of the bed. I took her hand and said, "Can we begin again?"
"What do you mean?" she asked her words stumbling.
"I mean I want to start over with you. We never really dated. So, come with me. Live with me in Australia," I said.
Her eyes shone but she removed my hand from her and said, "I lost all my beliefs on marriage. And now with daadi gone, I don't ever want to get married. It just wouldn't feel right without her," she said while sobbing.
I took her face with both of my hands while wiping her tears and asked, "Do you love me, Aaliyah?"
She answered in a small voice, "I don't know. All I ever wanted was you. I acted irrationally because of the overpowered feelings I had for you. Is that love, Purab?"
"Let's figure it out together, sweetheart," I said and she smiled at her favorite word.
"But you love Bulbul, right? Do you feel pity for me? Is that why are you asking me?" she asked angrily but at the same time I can sense insecurity from her.
"All I know is that right here, right now, I want to be with you. I want to touch you, kiss you and hold you in my arms forever," I said and pulled her body into me. She laid her head on my chest and I hugged her tightly.
"But I'm broken. Look at me, Purab. I'm incapable of doing anything" she said while burying her head into my chest.
"And I'll fix you," I promised and kissed her hair. She pulled away and looked at me. She brought her lips into mine and I opened my mouth tasting her completely. As our tongue touched, she shivered and I brought her body closer to me. I lied her on the bed and tasted all of her. Her beautiful neck tasted so sweet that I swore to never hurt this girl again. That I will love her always. It's okay if she doesn't want to get married. That's just a piece of paper. She owns my heart and that's all that matters for now.
If you managed to finish reading this, then thank you so so much for reading!!😃😉
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