Posted:
Disclaimer - the views expressed in this post are purely that of the writer. The aunties of the world may not subscribe to her views. So please attack the writer and the writer alone for whatever is said here. Spare the poor aunties!
I looked at myself hard in the mirror. Were my clothes dowdy enough? I looked hard into my soul. Was I stick in the mud enough? Was I boring enough? This was an important test that I had to pass.
I had to join the aunty brigade.
I looked at the checklist once again. What were the qualifications that were expected?
1. I had to be over thirty years of age.
I qualify
2. I had to wear dowdy clothes.
Well, I was wearing a parrot green top and blue leggings. It was the dowdiest I could find in my closet. Would it be acceptable? Well, I could argue my way around that. I had not been voted as the most aggressive member of the KTLK forum for nothing. They would surely testify to my auntiness if it came to that? I hope they do!
3. I had to be boring.
Well, this one is easy. My kids call me boring. And besides, I have kids. So, I qualify doubly.
4. I had to be married.
Condition fulfilled.
5. I had to be regressive and backward thinking.
I am a little confused about this one. I don't watch saas-bahu shows. So, am not too sure what qualifies as regressive and what does not?
I have a career and am independent in my views. Yet, I love my kids and would give up my career for them in a trice. I am not a feminist but a humanist. I still pick up after my kids and husband. However, they critique my professional assignments too. I happily spend my husband's money. But then, so does he when I have some. I have lived with his parents. But then, he has lived with mine too. We fight over everything from politics to cinema. We hardly see eye to eye on anything. And yet, we have not killed each other in over twenty two years. I want to be a grandmother for sure. I am willing to play nanny if it means my daughter or son will perform better at her/ his career. I want my daughter to get married. I certainly want my son to get married too.
Okay, this regressive thing is a little confusing. I seem to be a bit of a contradiction here. But I guess they may relax the rules if I fulfil the other conditions.
Come to think of it, I wonder how many would fulfil all these conditions. If age, marital status, motherhood etc were the criteria, then the Sonia Gandhis, Hillary Clintons, Madonnas, Anjelina Jolies, Aishwarya Rais, Kajols, Madhuri Dixits and so many of the Alpha females out there qualify. But then, none of them wear dowdy clothes or appear boring. I can't comment on the regressive part since I know none of them personally.
Were these women part of the aunty brigade? But I can't ask to look at the membership roster before I join, can I?
What matters is that I need to qualify! Pray for me guys, I want to be part of that elite group. I need to wear that badge!
P.S - The most important reason why I want to be part of the aunty brigade is cos ASHUTOSH is part of the UNCLE brigade...along with my favourite hotties like George Clooney, Hugh Jackman, Christian Bale et al...I sure wanna be an aunty now!
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