"What are you up to?" Ashutosh walked into Nidhi's office the next day.
"I am done making the question papers from mid-semester as well as the end-semester exams. And now I am scheduling extra classes to finish the course as early as possible."
"Why?" Ashutosh was surprised. Even the mid-semester exam was two weeks away.
"It cannot be wished away just because I want to wish it away," she said sadly, "I don't know when Mom would need me and I would have to go on a leave. And for how long..."
"Nidhi..."
"No. Don't say comforting words, please. I am trying to be practical," she interrupted hurriedly as if soft words would break her down.
"All right," Ashutosh nodded and then fell silent.
"And yeah," Nidhi spoke again, "I got e-mails from two of the faculty members from our department and another one from Sociology, who would like to do something about my little challenge during the faculty meeting."
"Nidhi. Do you know our record of publications in international journals?" Ashutosh wanted to ensure that she was aware of the challenge she was up for.
"Yes. The last one to be published in a worthy journal was your paper, four years back, in the Journal of Contemporary History. And since then you haven't published much."
"I got caught up in administrative work, especially with the Delhi stint, and honestly didn't focus much on research."
"Then you will focus again."
"I don't know. I have lost the momentum."
"Then you will gain it. And don't worry, there will be enough contributions to be made on the administrative side of things too."
"Raising money, I believe. And I have no experience whatsoever..."
"We'll start with my own company; I mean our family business. Their CSR arm has been sitting idle anyway. They can contribute towards education in the country. You just have to be there at your charming best. Rest will happen on its own."
"When did you plan all of this?"
"When you were so busy taking care of me," she said with a coquettish smile and leaned forward on her table.
Ashutosh got the drift and he also leaned forward, "Don't provoke me Dr. Verma. Consequences will be for you to bear."
"What consequences?" Nidhi was defiant.
"I'm bound by professional ethics right now," he said with a smirk and leaned back on his chair again, "Right now, tell me. What is the plan? You have the idea for funding. And research ideas as well?"
"Oh yes - more than we can get funds or people for. When will you be free? I was planning to get everyone interested together and start from there."
"On Monday? I don't have any classes then and no meetings either."
"Okay. I will check with everyone else too."
"Cool. I have to meet the director now. So, I will leave. And shall I inform him that you are putting your army together?" Ashutosh teased.
"Don't you dare make fun of me before others!" Nidhi pretended to threaten him and they laughed.
--
"Sarika," Ashutosh tried to get her attention after the nurse showed them into her room. She was sitting on the bed with her knees folded and was facing towards the wall away from the door. Although Nidhi had wanted to meet Sarika, she was dreading the moment when she would hear him call her name. What would it feel like? Would he call Sarika the same way that he called her? After all she had been his wife; legally speaking, until quite recently.
But the moment just passed. Nidhi did not feel anything extra-ordinary. The moment did not make her insecure. She smiled inwardly at her irrational fears and decided to confess it to him once they went back.
Sarika didn't respond to him. He looked at Nidhi and shrugged, "Like I had told you."
"Let me try to talk to her," Nidhi said and started going towards the bed, but Ashutosh grabbed her hand and stopped her. He looked at the nurse.
The nurse understood his hesitation. "Don't worry," she said, "she is not violent." Ashutosh let Nidhi go then.
"Sarika ji," Nidhi sat down beside her and touched her shoulder. Ashutosh was terrified, but Sarika was calm, "Look who has come."
Sarika turned around and looked at Ashutosh, then back at Nidhi. She smiled in recognition, as Ashutosh moved closer to her bed.
"She is beautiful," Sarika spoke coherently surprising Ashutosh, "What is her name?"
"Nidhi. My name is Nidhi," Nidhi answered.
"Nice name."
"Nidhi works at my institute," Ashutosh offered an introduction.
"You are also a professor?" Sarika asked appreciatively.
"Yes," Nidhi smiled.
"Very nice. You will keep him happy. And he will also keep you happy. He has the heart of gold."
Nidhi and Ashutosh exchanged an uncomfortable glance. How did she know?
"I know," Nidhi replied with an embarrassed smile; then asked "Are you angry with me?"
"Not at all. I am very happy. It was so nice of you to come to meet me. You should have come earlier."
"I will keep coming to meet you now. Okay?"
Sarika smiled and nodded.
Nurse informed them the Sarika's doctor was in OPD and if he wanted to talk to him, he could go there.
"Appointment?" Nidhi wondered.
"After all these years, he has become more of a friend than doctor Nidhi. There isn't much we need to discuss about Sarika. This is more of a personal visit."
"Okay."
--
"That was miraculous, Nidhi," Ashutosh exclaimed after the nurse had left them, "Your presence got her talking. You know some magic or what!"
"I have a theory..."
"Shoot!"
"Sometimes it might be genuine, but she probably pretended to not know you at other times you visited."
"Why?"
"Her way of asking you to move on... I think..."
"Have you been watching too many melodramatic movies or serials?"
Nidhi laughed, "I don't know. I just guessed. She did not respond to you earlier, but when she saw me, she started talking very normally."
"May be... Hey, isn't that Rangnath?"
"Where? Yes - that's indeed him. What is he... Oh! He was under therapy. I think we should avoid him. He may not be comfortable."
"Okay..."
But Rangnath had also spotted them and he sought them out.
"Hi Nidhi. Prof. Mathur, nice to meet you, although I am not sure why here..."
Ashutosh smiled, "Which doctor are you seeing?"
"Dr. Sondhi."
"Oh! You are in good hands, then. Nidhi, Dr. Sondhi is Sarika's doctor as well," he informed her.
"Sarika?" Rangnath was startled by the name.
"My ex-wife. Unfortunately..."
"Sarika Srivastava? I mean her maiden name..."
"Indeed. How do you know her?"
"Oh my God! This is... I don't know what to say. She is my cousin."
"What?" Nidhi and Ashutosh were shocked and surprised.
"I am sorry. I always thought you were a South Indian. Your name..." Ashutosh said.
"That's the legacy of a South Indian neighbour, who was very close to us."
"Oh!"
"I want to... meet her," Rangnath said.
"Sure Rangnath. But you will understand that I would be more comfortable if we talked before that."
"Yeah. Right. Let's go somewhere we can sit peacefully."
--
Rangnath and Ashutosh exchanged some more family details to confirm that they were indeed talking about the same person.
"She my cousin from my father's side, my real father that is. We used to stay in the joint family. I was five years old when my father died and my mother remarried. She was six years elder to and I was her favorite. She was the only one from my father's family who maintained contact with us even after we moved in with my step-father. She would write letters to me, even when I was too young to reply to them. Her maternal grandparents stayed in the same city as ours. Whenever she visited them, she made it a point to visit us too. We would play together when I was younger and became good friends as we grew older. We had this connection. She was the only one who seemed to understand my problem, though I never discussed the reason with her openly. Probably her own issues, her seizures, had made her sensitive. Then she got married and I left home for higher studies. I lost touch with her. I was, myself, running away from my past. Even the good people came associated with bad memories. So, I didn't even try to contact her. Only recently did I ask my mother about her and she told me that she was in Mumbai. She did not know anything else about her."
Ashutosh looked guilty, "I am sorry Rangnath that you can't meet her in better circumstances. I had tried my best to get her treated. But it was too late. She has been there in that facility for over eight years now. Let's go back and you can meet her. Today she looked better and was at least talking. She would be happy, if you met her."
Rangnath just nodded and didn't reply. Nidhi sensed stiffness in Rangnath's body language. Probably he wasn't too happy about the fact that her cousin was in the mental health facility. She wondered if he realized how hard Ashutosh had tried to help her.
But they could not meet her after going back. She had a seizure and had to be sedated. The doctor was with her. They waited for the doctor to come out.
"Prof. Mathur," the doctor shook hands with him and was surprised to see Rangnath there, "Rangnath?"
"He is Sarika's cousin."
"Cousin? How come you never came for her earlier? If I remember correctly, nobody other than you has visited her ever Prof. Mathur."
"I didn't know she was here. She is from my real father's side and she is the cousin I had told you about..."
"Oh!" Dr. Sondhi figured out the connection.
"Her parents never visited her?" Rangnath asked Ashutosh surprised.
"No," Ashutosh replied looking sad.
"I am sorry Prof. Mathur. I have to rush back to OPD now. Rangnath, remind me about this when you come for your next session," the doctor said.
"Yes doctor."
"I am sorry Rangnath," Ashutosh said after the doctor had left, "You could not meet her today. Unfortunately we have to rush back now; Nidhi's Mom is not well. But I come here every Sunday. If you want, you can come next week with me."
"Sure, I would like to do that."
"I would try to get your name on the approved visitor's list so that you are not dependent on me. But it is better that the first time you meet her, it's with me. Also these processes take time."
"I understand."
Nidhi and Ashutosh parted ways from Rangnath in the parking lot.
"Give me a minute," Nidhi told Ashutosh and went after Rangnath.
"Rangnath, I wanted to talk to you for a minute."
"Sure."
"About your sister and Dr. Mathur..."
"You don't need to explain Nidhi."
"Not for my sake, but for his, Rangnath. Please listen to me. You probably hold a grudge against him. But trust me; he has always been nice to her. She herself says he has the heart of gold. Keeping her here, instead of at home was necessary for her own safety. With her seizures..."
"I understand Nidhi. I have to go now. Bye."
Nidhi was disappointed. Rangnath, of course, did not see the point.
"What were you talking to him about?" Ashutosh asked her when she got back.
"Nothing. Just making sure he wasn't disturbed."
"Is he all right?"
"Yeah. I guess..."
Ashutosh looked at her searchingly, but did not say anything and they drove away.
--
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Udne Ki Aasha
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