Saumiee, sorry to hear that you felt disconnected, but I think I can understand that 5 minutes, and why Sonakshi did what she did at that point. It is in her refusal to take the umbrella that Bijoy went to get for her. By refusing to take that umbrella, she finally chose to break out of the protective barrier that Bijoy had created for her.
In recent episodes Bijoy told how he had made Sonakshi the head of the house even though she was young. She is the youngest member of the family, yet had to shoulder the responsibility like an adult, i. e. the expectations from her were very similar to that of what Ishwari expected from Dev. Just like how Dev had to give up playing cricket or feel guilty of playing holi as that ruined the only shirt he had, Sonakshi had to let go of what she wanted to do cause Bijoy wanted her safe. What I mean is Bijoy doesn't like to see a single tear in his daughters life. But that is neither possible nor practical. Crying, feeling sad is part of us that is very similar to laughing or being happy. You might get hurt doing something, but is it such a bad thing. No pain no gain. My daughter likes to run around, play on slides, swings etc, outdoor games where one can get hurt and can cry. I don't like to see her cry, but for that asking her to choose indoor games where there is no possibility of getting hurt is not right. This was clearly shown in the way Sonakshi and Suhana behaved when Suhana got hurt the first time in IN where Dev puts the medicine to how she behaved when Suhana got hurt the second time at IN.
The first time Suhana got hurt, Suhana chose to say that the wound didn't hurt her, but the second time she said that the wound did hurt her. Why did Suhana say that the wound didn't hurt her, the first time. Cause Sonakshi behaved the same way Bijoy behaved. He blamed others anyone possible. When Suhana said it was ok, Sonakshi said that she did not want that repeated. That is exactly what Bijoy has done. By saying that she is independent and strong constantly she had to grow up before her time. Hide her true feelings so that her father doesn't feel hurt. When our kids fall or make mistakes, they expect us to say it's ok and be there for them. Encourage to try again and tell them that they can do it. Here Bijoy is opposite. What he says is why try something where there is possibility of getting hurt or failing. What is the point of doing such things. Why not focus on the things where you excel and not experience pain or that feeling of hurt. He discouraged her from failing.
That is exactly what happened when Ishwari showed displeasure of Dev and Sonakshi's relationship. What Sonakshi wanted was support, what she got was admonished for having chosen a challenge. When Sonakshi came back from the hospital she was looking for that support, someone to guide her, help her heal. Instead what Bijoy told her was to forget the whole thing. Told her Dev was not worth her tears instead of understanding from her perspective. She chose to hide her pain as she didn't want to let her father down, she didn't want him to think that he failed. But the pain she hid didn't go anywhere. A person needs to deal with pain and heal it, not conceal it. The first time Sonakshi truly grieved was with Ritwick when she cried on his shoulder. This habit of Sonakshi to hide her true feelings has made her as much the same person as Dev like he was before he fell in love with Sonakshi.
Just like how Dev was confused about everything till the time he realized that he loves Sonakshi, she was confused as to what she wanted. She kept oscillating between the older Sona to her younger self who believed in fairy tales as real. Doesn't a child stop believing in Santa Claus once they are like 7 - 8 yrs old. Similarly Sonakshi had stopped believing in them at a very young age from the outside, but never stopped believing that on the inside. Her true nature was known only to those few people who did not ask her to hide her feelings. Asha and Saurabh knew that and hence they could understand her love for Dev. But since Bijoy didn't believe in fairy tales and thought that he has made his daughter strong, independent and responsible,he didn't understand her love,
Sonakshi chose to hide herself and Bijoy assumed that what she was projecting was her true feelings. That is the reason why he was shocked to hear when Sonakshi said that she cannot live without him. He had expected her to say that Dev didn't matter for her being alive, that she was what he had thought her to be. He doesn't know this side of Sonakshi who came out yesterday. Who came out was the girl who she wanted to be, but was caged in things called being practical, responsibility, independent and strong. She had always wanted to be free and yesterday she truly was. Why she chose to say those things to say outside is similar to Dev being himself only in his room before leap. This was her safe sanctuary, where her fathers protective barrier didn't reach, where she didn't have to hide her true self.
Didn't Dev say that he becomes like a child with Sonakshi and live his childhood with her. But she hadn't felt that way till now. But now she is not scared of being who she is with him. She no longer feels that she should be somebody else to be with him. Dev chose to come to her house at 2 or 3 in the morning to confess his love. He chose to wake her and Suhana in the middle of the night and take them to IN without informing anyone at Bose family. There were numerous instances during their courtship and marriage phase, even during Ritwick's time that Dev behaved like a child or a teenager in love. He climbed the wall of his own house and came to meet secretly which is not something that the business man Dev is supposed to do. Yet he did that including so many other things like dancing in rain with her, writing on each other's back or being stubborn with her. Yesterday it was Sonakshi's turn. At that moment she was not Sonakshi the super mom, head of the company or any of the things that are used to describe her. She was truly a teenager who fell in love for the first time since she truly embraced it for the first time. Although she had previously admitted that she loved him before she hadn't really accepted it completely. She acted similar to how Dev behaved with her. She was just Sona and not Dr. Sonakshi Bose. What Dev had told her after the anniversary celebration when Sonakshi smears cake on his face and he chases her helped by his daughter to put cake on her face.
Hope I was able to convey what I wanted to convey. When I started this didn't think it would be this long and I am typing from my mobile. If there is something that I have mentioned above that is not clear, let me know and I will do my best to clear them. I know why she behaved the way she did but since it is a result of a lot of things might not be able to say it in one go. I am not much of writer like you or some of the others so not sure how much sense I made in this post. I know I got carried away.
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Edited by Shaavi - 8 years ago
Pati Patni Aur Panga
Kumkum Bhagya
