Elena summarised Sona's problem so beautifully yesterday. Sona wrote such a convincing narrative of herself as a victim of the circumstances and everyone's conflicting claims on her, that she has come to believe it herself. Baba made her promise not to have a relationship with Dev, what could she do? Ishwari asked for her help, what could she do? Dev agreed for marriage on his own, what could she do? Elena reminded her that these weren't rhetorical questions; the pen is very much in her hand, and just as she has written herself as victim, she could write herself as a heroine if only she chose to do so.
The story that Sona is playing into, the one that she has used for the past seven years, is that Dev is a slave to his mother, and she has no power to challenge or change that. And at this point, I feel like she herself is steering events to fit Dev into the mould she has created for him in her story, the mould that allows her to believe that a reconciliation is impossible, and appears to be keeping everyone happy -- Ishwari is happy when Dev moves on, Bijoy is happy when Dev is out of the picture, and Dev will get the saathi and sahaara he wanted. She has long forgotten that her personal happiness also has a bearing on all of these lives.
In a lot of ways, this reflects how the years since the separation, and the suppressed bitterness, have hardened Sona and made her cynical. She can't bring herself to believe genuinely that her happiness matters to any of these people, and feels like her selflessness was ill-used by all of them. The way she sees it, they all deserted her the moment she was vulnerable and found herself in a position where she needed help and support, so why should she believe they actually care now? Ishwari and Bijoy just want her and Dev apart, and Dev just wants an uncomplaining, ever-patient partner who can solve all his problems and kowtow to his family. She isn't willing to be that partner, and that too at the cost of their parents' happiness, so where's the sense in bulding castles in the sky ? But the thing is, she never gave them a chance to help her because she never opened up about her problems until they were beyond redemption. It seems like that is gradually going to change, starting from the root of her fears -- Bijoy.
For a change, Sona is the one with terrible listening comprehension. 😆 She is hearing only what she wants to hear -- Ishwari wants Dev to get married, Dev wants a life partner, Dev agreed for remarriage -- and conveniently ignoring the parts of the story that force her to really examine her own decisions, and the significant role she has played in causing these events to unfold. In this little exercise, Dev is following her instructions to the letter, and exercising no independent volition to try and show her that she is the one in the drivers seat; she is the one in control. Just as easily as he agreed to get married because she told him to, he would be equally quick to put a stop to it the moment she says the word. I just loved the way Elena put the message Dev is trying to convey into words for Sona.
Edited by Samanalyse - 8 years ago
