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I honestly thought I would not make a post today. I was refraining from becoming habitual of daily posts but what do I do now? kuch Rang Pyar Ke is making it worst for me to resist myself😆
When I first saw the segment today,like you I was so angry that I decided that I would not watch the next two episodes. I thought Eshwari would be glorified again and Dev Maa jaap would start again. That it is okay for Dev to hurt Sonakshi but not okay if Ishwari is punished for anything. That Ishwaris sins are forgivable. That she won't need redemption. I am so surprised that I loved today's episode because nothing was unnatural.
I realised it is not about whether Eshwari is going to be redeemed or not, whether she is guilty or not whether Dev has forgiven her for destroying his life or not, whether Dev realises his mistakes with Sona or not..but it is about Dev as a son.
I could so relate to that emotion when you feel helpless that you were not good enough so that your mother could share your feelings with you, her pain with you. I think there is nothing worse than this feeling for a daughter or a son that they were not worthy enough, not cordial enough, not receptive enough for the mother to share her feelings or pain. That they could not contribute in anyway in decreasing the pain & that they were silently suffering through so much and the child was busy in living life, in complaining.
This is the reason why Dev is feeling so guilty.. Because while he was busy in living through the pain of his separation, he became unreceptive for his mother to share her feelings with him. This distance he brought is making him feel guilty.
I don't think there is anything wrong with Dev being so emotional about Ishwari at this moment. Also, I was thanking the stars that Dev can meet Ishwari again. . Otherwise he would have to live with this guilt forever. Atleast Dev has a chance to heal.
No one understands Dev better than Sonakshi. She is standing by him, rock solid as a pillar for his emotional support. She knows how full of guilt he is, how he holds himself responsible for every damn problem.
"Mai chiz ko hath lagata hu wo kharab ho jati hai"
He is holding himself back to meet suhana because he fears he will fail there as well. That he would break her heart too..like he broke Sonakshi's. Like he let Ishwari down.
Sonakshi is the only person in this world who can see this. .who can understand the emotional burden Dev is living under. It is not about reunion at all right now but Sonakshi loves him and cannot see him blaming himself for every pain, big or small. If her forgiveness would help him heal then be it. For her, the grudges are not important, his emotional well being is.
I love Sonakshi even more after this.
How she stands in the background seeing Dev love Soha and admires them both.
Not only Dev, She needs healing too. Like Dev said, "Tum mere jaise ban gayi ho"
A girl who once believed in fairytales and waited for her prince charming, in her own words
"Ab Jab koi mujhse pyaar ka matlab puchta hai, mere paas jawab nahi hota hai"
She has completely stopped believing in love stories. She believes in Dev, in how good a person he is but she has lost faith that She can live with him. That love stories are for her as well.
She has built a castle around her, a castle in which she stays and comes out only to protect her family. For her, now life is only about her daughter, her family and helping others. Not about her own story.
She trusts Dev but cannot trust their relationship so easily now. Sonakshi wants to protect herself from the heartbreak and it will not be easy for her to step in the relationship as a lover again.
She is his friend, his support..but a lover, a wife? Sonakshi needs Dev's magic to revive that faith in beauty of this world again.
This is why when Dev babu said he forgot for a few minutes that they were separated, he initiated a hug innocently, but Sonakshi moved her hand forward for a handshake😆 Dev, you need to put in a lot of effort to break that wall.
I hope I made ittu sa sense😆
Mannat Har Khushi Paane Ki
