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"Soha, where are you?" A slightly annoyed Sonakshi looked around in the house for her little princess, but she was nowhere to be seen.
Sonakshi gave out a sigh. They were back in her own home after a tiring, draining week at Ishwari Niwas. That house suffocated her and she exactly couldn't pin point what exhausted her the most. She had already developed a thick skin for Mamiji's taunts and Ishwari's accusing glares. She wasn't even annoyed with Vicky because she knew that scum didn't deserve her attention.
It was her own memories that haunted her!
Sonakshi has learnt to deal with the bitter memories. Even before she stepped inside Dixit Mansion, she had gone through her unfortunate days over and over again. So many times that she was now almost neutral to them. But the moment she set her foot inside that damned house, all the happy memories came rushing back to her, leaving her weak and fragile.
It was almost impossible to believe things were once normal and happy in this place! She couldn't help but remember Nicki when she passed by the badminton court. She remembered fondly how she used to scold Ishwari for not following the chart. She missed Riya's innocent talks.
And Dev...
Sonakshi was jolted back to present as she heard Soha calling her from upstairs. Her family left for Kolkata in the evening to attend a wedding, leaving her and Soha alone. Dev decided to stay back in his home for one more day as his mom wasn't feeling well. Sonakshi was glad she was going to be alone tonight. She had already planned to make Soha sleep early and then have some alone time for herself.
"Mumma Jaldi, upar aao!"
Sona stood up and walked upstairs. A moment later she realized that Soha was in the old store room. Confused, she entered the room and found Soha among a pile of clothes.
"Suhana, what are you doing?" Sona asked as she looked around the mess her little devil had created.
"Look Mumma, I found your old clothes!" Soha cheered happily as she excitedly dug in her pile again.
Sonakshi did not know her mother had kept all her old stuff securely. Smilingly she thought, she also kept the first pair of shoes she ever bought for Soha. Mothers.
"Mumma, you must have looked so pretty in these!"
"They're old Suhana, what are you doing with them. Come on, help me clean this up then I'll make dinner."
"No mumma, Asha showed me your pictures. You looked so pretty with long hair. I wanna see you in these"
"Soha..."
"Mumma please, we'll play then. And I can try painting your nails afterwards" Soha pleaded. "Please mumma come on!"
Sonakshi knew soha wouldn't budge from her demands so smilingly she gave in. Her eyes fell on a bright orange Salwar kameez and she asked Soha if she'd like her to wear that. Soha clapped excitedly and went on to find Sona's old jewelry box too.
15 minutes later, Sona sat in front of her mirror, wearing her old clothes as her daughter helped her with clip in hair extensions. Sonakshi had completely forgotten she was tired. Soha's happiness and energy was so infectious that she couldn't help but laugh at her cute antics.
Life was good. She had Suhana.
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Dev parked his bike outside Bose house late at night. Although he wanted to stay home, Ishwari made his favorite halwa and he had this sudden urge to have Suhana taste it! He packed the Tiffin, and immediately left for Bose house. So here was, ringing the doorbell, preparing to see a rather unpleasant face of Mr. Bijoy Bose!
Dev felt nostalgic in front of this door at this hour in the night. How many times in past has he come here unannounced, in the ungodly hours of night, knocking this very same door. He had come here to meet his mother's nutritionist; he had come here to propose to that same girl when he realized he was hopelessly in love with her. Whenever he was here, no matter what time of the day or night, it was always one particular bose girl on the other side of the door.
He heard footsteps approaching and adjusted his bag on one shoulder. He was ready with the explanation why he was here so late at night and when the door finally opened, it wasn't Bijoy Bose he was facing.
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He needed to pinch himself. Pinch himself so he could believe he wasn't suddenly living in the past. To believe he wasn't hallucinating.
There stood Sonakshi, No, not the one whom he used to see these days, it was Sona, his Sona! He remembered the dress she wore. He had seen her wear these same earrings but it was so, so long ago. Her luscious curls were framing her beautiful face which looked at least 10 years younger without her usual frown and glasses!
She looked like the girl he fell in love with!
It left Dev speechless for moments. He wanted to reach out and touch her and believe he wasn't hallucinating in desperation. He watched her eyes go wide as she realized he was staring at her and her mouth fell open; making her look even more beautiful if it was possible. Dev's roaming eyes took in the sight in front of him as his stare against settled on her face.
Instead of a usual retort, Sonakshi's eyes looked down, probably with embarrassment and shyness and this little act of hers, left Dev's heartbeats racing crazily!
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Sonakshi looked down, stupefied. She had thought Jatin was here so she came running downstairs, without changing. Instead, she saw Dev who looked dumbstruck. Only a second later Sonakshi realized the state she was in and a furious blush rose up her cheeks.
It was years since she had seen this intensity in Dev's stare and it was nerve wreaking to know that his gaze still held the power to leave her breathless. She could feel his eyes all over her and she immediately gave up. She couldn't look back!
"Papa!"
An excited voice broke Dev's trance as Soha came running towards him and he immediately kneeled down to hug her. from the corner of his eyes he saw Sonakshi going away he realized he hadn't even seen her properly yet. That he wanted to stare at her for a moment more. Time was indeed a cruel healer. He had almost forgotten how she used to look so different back then.
"Papa I made mumma wear her old dresses. How is she looking?" Soha smiled. Even her 6 year old self could see her father practically drooling over her mom moments ago.
"Orange was always her color. Of course she looks gorgeous!"
Dev's compliment stopped Sona as she turned around to look at him. He held Soha in his arms, but he was looking at her. He did not avert his gaze and again Sonakshi was drowning in his stare. Where was her damned voice? Why was she standing absurdly quite and couldn't utter a word, let alone a retort towards Dev. It seemed as if the outfit change also brought back the old, mellowed down, soft spoken Sonakshi Bose.
Sonakshi moved to the kitchen as father daughter duo decided to devour the bowl of halwa. She wanted to cook tonight, and now it was also a good option to stay away from Dev. She had even considered changing first but then, secretly she admitted to herself, that Dev's attention thrilled her. That after so many years, she felt like a woman on the receiving end of admiration and for once, she wanted that for herself.
She went on to call Dev and Soha for dinner and though hesitantly, served Dev dinner. She stole a glance at him as she sat down to eat. Dev's face was expressionless, yet everytime their eyes met, Sonakshi felt her face getting warmer. Then she decided she needed to be calm and started feeding Soha her dinner.
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Dev saw Sonakshi making Soha eat and a lump formed in his throat thinking this could have been his everyday life had things did not go wrong. Now the possibility seemed much more realistic as the scene was right in front of his eyes. His heart warmed when she served him food asking if he needed anything else. He couldn't see the rude, unfazed and unaffected Sonakshi Bose in the woman who sat across him. Instead, his wishful heart yearned for his ex wife, yearned for the family he could have had. The momentary charm was gone, now his heart ached to see Sonakshi like that. He was quite comfortable with the new grown up and silent version of Sonakshi. But his heart was still weak for the woman who walked out on him seven years ago. Even her behavior today wasn't rash towards him. He was torn between his two strongest desires. A part of him wanted the Sonakshi back to her regular self while the other half wanted to stare at her infinitely. Even in this momentary illusion, he could see the glimpse of Sonakshi as the girl filled with so much life, and the one who filled his heart with so much love.
After dinner, they played some more games where Dev's stares were so intense even Soha asked why he was looking at Sonakshi weirdly. A blushing Sonakshi said strictly they needed to sleep when Soha's little head hit the cushion as she slept on the sofa. Dev picked her up and by the time Sonakshi reached their room, Dev had already tucked Soha in the sheets and was kissing her forehead. Then she came down to see him off.
So he's going. The adventure's over. Focus on work Sonakshi!
Dev looked at her once more and said a quick bye before leaving!
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She stared at her reflection in the mirror as she felt her own self mocking her. A young, lively Sonakshi was looking back at her from the mirror.When did she change so much? When did she become a machine who only knew how to get lost in her work or her daughter? Why after so many days, she felt life stirring in her today?
She hid her face in her palms. It.was.wrong! She and Dev hated each other. Things had gotten so complicated they would never be normal. Still, she was letting her emotions taking over. She knew everything will be back to square one the next day, yet was it selfish that she enjoyed a moment or two of attention from her ex husband?
And then she saw his face appearing in the mirror. He walked towards her, one step at a time as she looked on through the mirror. Finally when he was standing right behind her, she turned around and saw the same vulnerability in his eyes.
He came back.
A moment passed.
And they rushed to embrace each other. Dev's strong arms held her petite frame in a bone crashing hug and as her own hands locked behind his neck. She shivered as Dev's one hand ran over her back and arms furiously while the other hand was lost in her hair.
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Somehow the hug didn't feel close enough. He wanted to hold on to her even tighter as his hands ran over her body and he hid his face in the crook of her neck. Seven years! He has held her like that after seven.bloody.years! They weren't crying, just desperately trying to hug each other even tighter if it was possible. Both knew they would regret it, but the momentary feelings were too colossal to ignore.
"Sonakshi..." Dev whispered in her ears as minutes passed and they kept hugging each other to death. They parted slowly but did not let go off each other completely. He looked at Sonakshi who was so close to her. The entire evening he had restrained himself but the truth was he wanted to hug her the moment she opened the door. She was his beautiful past staring right in his face and he was in a mess of feelings. Dev held her face in his hands as he bent down to kiss her. This is what he wanted, and probably she too wanted the same. He kissed her cheeks, then her eyes and pecked her forehead.
And then, summoning all his will power, he jerked her back. Dev knew no matter what, they weren't supposed to do this. The momentarily shock in Sona's eyes turned into a look of understanding. The beautiful past and a few reliving moments were over. It was now the present, hovering in the spaces between them.
"This.Never.Happened." Dev said. "We're never gonna talk about it!" Dev Dixit said as he marched off the room. Sonakshi stood there and a moment later, she could hear the sound of her bike going away
The walk down the memory lane has ended. They were back in the present!
Comments please!
Kumkum Bhagya
Anupamaa
