Tia's thread:Nature vs Nurture - Page 15

Originally posted by: tia.o

Ashi, my dear, first let me give you a standing ovation for your brilliant post. I got encouragement to watch the episode after reading it. And after watching the episode, I came back and read the post again. ⭐️

You totally blew my mind when I read my thoughts echoed in your post. 👏

I was thinking about a quote today while watching the episode I'd like to share with you.

"I'm incredibly proud to have a partner in my wife Sophie, who is extremely committed to women and girls' issues. But she took me aside a few months ago and said "Okay, it's great that you're engaged and modeling to your daughter that you want her empowered and everything, but you need to take as much effort to talk to your sons" " my 8-year-old boy and my 2-year-old " "about how he treats women and how he's going to grow up to be a feminist just like Dad." And by the way, we shouldn't be afraid of the word "feminist." Men and women should use it to describe themselves any time they want."

This quote is by Canada's Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau.

The kind of man any woman would give their eye and teeth to marry...

And there is Bhaiya who needs to look up the meaning of Feminism from Dictionary.

Here's some help, Bhaiya.

Say if you think Golu deserves more money for same work, more opportunities, better lifestyle and more rights simply because he was born a boy than your daughter Suhana, you should be very afraid of Feminists. But if you think that Golu and Suhana should have equal money, equal opportunities, same lifestyle and same rights regardless of their gender, that Feminist comment you should swallow pronto and thank your ex-wife for being a Feminist instead of sneering at her while showing off to your daughter so that she thinks you are a decent human being.

Soha today hit every single ball out of the park and isn't she lucky to be raised by such an amazing role model?

Bijoy truthfully revealed his fear today. His daughter got burned by Dixits twice. How can he rest? However, while I understand his fear though, he needs to trust his daughter and granddaughter.

Sonakshi was as usual brilliantly patient. God knows where she gets her patience from.

Dev and Ishwari were as usual Dickeshwari. Nothing new there.

Loved Soha handing over his aukat to him. Now he will know not to continue to fall low in front of his daughter.

Your song on that situation was bang on too, Ashi.

Thank you everyone and special thanks to Ashi for doing such a brilliant job. Looking forward to your post on Monday. Happy weekend everyone.

Originally posted by: ---Andromeda---

Now coming to the other important relationship in the show.i.e.Devakshi.

In the beginning,Devakshi was everything DevIsh was not.DevIsh was more about domination and control whereas Devakshi was about freedom.DevIsh was filled with bonds of obligations and sacrifices whereas Devakshi was unconditional.It did not have any terms or clauses.It was Sonakshi who showed Dev that a different kind of love existed other than the love he was used to.Sonakshi's love for Dev was selfless and that's why it brought him happiness.He became used to this relationship because it made him feel good.Sonakshi made him appreciate himself.

Then the first breakup happened and Sona's normal life went haywire.When she attempted to pick up the pieces and move on,Dev didn't let her.It can be argued that when she decided to marry Ritivick,she did not do it wholeheartedly but for her family.It's true.But had she gone ahead with the marriage she would have been happy in the long run.Dev could not see her moving on with someone else because he felt that since he loved her she couldn't belong to anyone else.He desired her but he couldn't muster courage to marry her because of his mother.

Then we all know what happened and the rest is history.

When he finally got his object of desire,he began to take her for granted and he expected her to change herself for him.Ishwari's tendencies within him began to resurface.He wanted to have same position in Sona's life which his mother had in his life.

However a normal,healthy relationship like Devakshi cannot coexist with a toxic,unhealthy relationship like DevIsh.When oxygen is taken in,carbon dioxide has to be exhaled.Either one has to prevail.Had Dev been stronger then he would have managed to save his relationship with Sona and handled his relationship with his mother as well.But Dev's decisions had a disastrous impact and Devakshi had to break.After Sonakshi left,he felt that he was betrayed even though it was his fault.

He blamed Sonakshi because it was easy to blame her.He felt that he was supposed to be her God and she didn't treat him like one.He became so uncaring and insensitive that he did not even bother to enquire whether she was alive or dead.All of us can see what he is today.

And he has his mother's mentality.Sona could not produce a child so she was useless.Sona committed a crime by hiding Soha's truth,etc.Now I feel that there is no love left in this relationship.Even Sona is unaffected by him.IMO Dev and Sona are no longer Devakshi and even if they reunite it would be too hollow.

Originally posted by: Pehchaan.Kaun

There is a quote - The best thing a father can do to their children is to love their mother. By this definition, Bijoy is like Viru Sahasrabuddhi of the school where Dev couldnt even be Chatur 😆

Originally posted by: ranjitha

Absolutely loved this line !!

Dev and maata think that, they can be better father and GM respectively, by getting her all that she wants and let her be the way she wants.. Pretty much like Golu.

Being a good husband is not a pre-requisite to be a good father to a lot of delusional people in the world !

Originally posted by: ---Andromeda---

@Shailu,Ranjitha and Rose,thank you for sharing your views on DevIsh's relationship.

I have come to a conclusion by combining points from all your posts.

The two central relationships of the show are DevAkshi and DevIsh.These two relationships are as different from each other as chalk and cheese.

DevIsh was never a normal relationship to begin with.Ishwari never wanted her relationship with her son to become normal.According to her,normal relationships have more chances of breaking.For her,Dev was someone who could provide her with security.And if Dev slipped out of her hands then she would be left hapless once again.That's why she wanted her relationship with her son to be based more on devotion rather than love.Because while love can be challenged,devotion cannot.A devotee can't even think that his God will do anything wrong.

Every child has his/her responsibilities towards his parents and love and respect comes in the process.But in this case,Ishwari reminded Dev of her sacrifices and struggles every moment and drilled it into his mind that she was his God.She placed herself at a pedestal and Dev always looked upto her.That's how she always wished to be treated.She wanted to be the centre of Dev's universe forever and ever.This is why she couldn't tolerate sharing Dev's affections with Sonakshi.

From Dev's perspective,he grew up believing that his mother was his God and this went on for a while.It was his gratitude and blind faith in her.He was attached to his mother and every decision he took was inspired by her.We can also say that it gave him a sense of satisfaction when he managed to fulfill his duties towards her.Then Sonakshi entered and before the first breakup when she attempted suicide he saw what his mother was capable of doing.He subconsciously realised that his mother was human at the end of the day.But he was unable to accept it.

He still needed his mother's approval to follow his heart.After marriage he allowed her to interfere in his maritial life which was a gross injustice to his wife.Then after the 2nd breakup,when he finally saw his mother for who she really was the devotion ended then and there.He would no longer look upto her.When he became Dev 2.0,he treated his mother in the same manner as normal kid would treat his mother.He was obliged to her and she was his responsibility.However he was not her blind devotee anymore.Still he could not severe ties with her completely.He turned a blind eye to her faults because he felt that accepting the fact that she was at fault would also mean that ultimately it was his mistake for allowing her to influence him which he could not do.Blaming Ishwari would be equal to blaming himself.

When he discovered about Soha,the first person with whom he shared this news was Ishwari.It's not that the devotion had returned but it was because Ishwari is someone who thinks like he does.She has many things in common with him and that's why she is the only person whom he could turn to for sharing his feelings.He knows that she is wrong but he has no one apart from her.His ego will never allow him to approach Sona.

Ishwari destroyed her son's psyche at first and then turned him into an impulsive version of herself.That's how disturbing this relationship is.Dev is like Ishwari and in a manner he reflects Ishwari.

Originally posted by: rose4ever

Both of them are perfect psychology subjects😆
For Ishwari,it's an obsession and addiction.She wants absolute control over him.She has no identity outside Dev. From the older episodes,for Dev,I would say, he felt obligated to Ishwari. She has always reiterated her sacrifices and struggles in raising them & how she favored him above all and so he felt guilty for thinking about his happiness outside Ishwari.Her constant reminders were like duty calls he was expected to perform to get approval from her.That is the kind of love he experienced from Ishwari.He had a chance to live differently & experience a love that was not selfish like Ishwari's.He was a fool to have let that go.

Now,he may not feel guilty if Ishwari manipulates him emotionally. But now she is someone who would agree with how he is operating,sympathise with his complaints & play along the blame game. So he runs off to her again & ignores whatever she has done.

Unfortunately,he seems to be taking a leaf from Ishwari's book of parenting which would only have bad results.