gemini54 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#1
These are Ramblings of a concerned woman/mother and human being

The five types of human behavior, ( AT LEAST KNOWN WIDELY ) They are passive-aggressive, assertive, aggressive, passive and the lesser-known alternator, a pattern of behavior where an individual switches from one type of behavior to another. Unlike individuals who are passive-aggressive, alternators do not use two behavior styles at the same time.

People exhibiting passive-aggressive behavior are contradictory and unreliable because they are constantly acting in contradiction to their true intentions.

Aggressive behavior, on the other hand, is based on the desire to dominate and control others. However, aggression is typically the result of feeling helpless, and it is an attempt to regain feelings of being in control by trying to bully others. Aggression is only acceptable under a limited set of circumstances.

Passive behavior is the result of an irrational desire to please everyone, Individuals who exhibit this behavior are unreliable because they try to be everything to everyone. Like aggression, passive behavior is only useful in select circumstances.

Assertiveness as the ideal behavioral style because it is balanced and realistic. The behavior style is not domineering, and neither is it too giving. It is rooted on a healthy respect for self and others.

Human behavior changes over time in response to an interplay of factors including age, genetics, attitude and prevailing societal norms. that is why we have a plethora of formal and informal rules and regulations governing behavior. Response to these rules varies from one individual to the next.


In this show I think all the characters are displaying these behaviors.

A behavior becomes disturbing and invasive when it crosses boundaries .


Dev: 1.0 Passive- Aggressive

Sona 1.0 -Passive

Sona 2.0- Trying to be Assertive

Dev 2.0 Aggressive

We have seen patterns throughout the show of these behaviors but what is acceptable behavior is the million dollar question here because there is personal acceptance where each one of us accept some form of behavior which disturbs us due to various factors but in reality should recognize some red flag 's and SHOULD NOT accept certain behaviors as it breaks the real Code of Conduct..the self imposed one that we all should measure ourselves against

Invasion of Personal Space: When our personal space is invaded ( here the key word is Invaded) red flags should go up. Here legally Sona's office is her personal space that she has papers to prove she possesses..Just like Dev has every right to buy any property in the market she can but any property in the market..even if it his office because legally it was for sale.

Invasion of Privacy: Him snatching her phone - it is again an invasion of her privacy and private property- just like her snatching his phone ..just because he snatched she snatching is not acceptable..so what is the difference between the two of them?

Stalking: Is an offense whether it is cyber or otherwise that is why there is laws against it

Harassment - is a serious serous offense- it is defined as an aggressive pressure or intimidation. Locking someone in an office- even if that person says bring IT on is an offence..if she had died, suffocated etc it is manslaughter. And just because some one challenges you or you perceive it is a challenge your aggressive actions does not justify it. Say for example a woman dressed provocatively does not give Men rights to hit on her

Offensive Language: Just because someone calls you names in private does not make it OK if it offends.. the same applies to calling people names in public ..so in essence something which offends is OFFENSIVE there are no ifs buts about it. Offensive language does not have the same connotations very time ..If someone calls me classless versus someone calling me a SL**. Just like someone calls a Guy a Jerk versus calls him a Gigolo..Let us demarcate the difference.

What they are displaying on this show is a Toxic situation that cannot be sugar coated as simple fights between two people, or simple arguments..it is psychological games being played by an aggressor that though Sona is not a Victim yet in real life can be..


So for all the Young woman out there please recognize patterns of behavior..if something does not feel right it is not right..Go with your Gut

And for the young Men out there remember your boundaries because in reality they are called boundaries for a reason-a line that marks the limits of an area; a dividing line.

I know this is just a show but please be aware that in reality these are disturbing patterns of behavior that does not just need a tub of popcorn but an awareness

A concerned Mother
****adding Mr Das a concerned father*****

And all the concerned parents



Edited by gemini54 - 8 years ago

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Tinkerfairy thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#2
Super 100 likes for this post 👍🏼 I am pissed at CV's for Normalizing this issue as "tashan" "kiddish" fights🤢 This is not NORMAL behaviour.😕
DreamOfEndless thumbnail
Posted: 8 years ago
#3
I loved your post. 👍🏼Thanks for posting this and spreading awareness.
BTW, are you by any chance a psychologist/psychiatrist? Just curious😊
pkbdas61 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#4
Excellent description of behaviours.. It is not just a concerned mother, but i would also like to put my name to that and add - a concerned father too, a concerned parent. More than the partner who is facing this kind of behaviour, the impact is felt very hard on the parents too. In fact, it can happen that inspite of good upbringing, there are certain inborn traits that make itself manifest that are not hiterto known. The later it is manifested the more severe the impact, especially if it is found in adults. it is often the most common problem that adults live in a state of denial and put up barriers for anyone to even reach out and help them.

i have seen parents in my network who have really suffered due to bad behaviour of their sons and daughters, some of them leading to breakdown of marriages or relationships.

On a lighter note, i think there are 12 types of behaviours, each unique to one of the Sun Signs. I am a huge fan of Linda Goodman and her sun sign descriptions are generally spot on.

BTW, are you a geminian? 😊
rock&roll thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#5
Wonderful post...Amazingly balanced and very informative and articulate...😊 Take a bow👏👏
Am a little occupied now...Will get back in detail shortly
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Posted: 8 years ago
#6
Thanks for such an interesting an knowledgeable post
Tia.0 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#7
Excellent points, Sabita. But then you always make thoughtful post. Here's my take.

I will write the opposite end of your points. As in what could be a solution when faced with such behaviour.

Passive - Aggressive > In my opinion, Dev 1.0 and Ishwari both showed this behaviour. Usually this behaviour is used for training animals. For example: Pavlov's Dog Experiment.

Withholding favour or approval when things are not going their way and rewarding grandly when they are doing as per instructions is how people train their pets and manipulative people train their victims.

The end result is that the target or victim, bends over backwards to earn the approval or pat on their heads.

The solution is to first identify the pattern, then start to form an independent behaviour where you can stop living your life as per their approval. Once their punishment and reward pattern stops affecting your choices, the person using Passive-Aggressive behaviour will cease having any power over you.

Example: Dev 2.0 vs. Ishwari's equation.

Aggressive > This is easiest behaviour to handle. Because aggressive people is threatening, in your face and don't try to appear nicer to confuse you.

When faced with such behaviour, you can stay away. But if they continue to get in your face, file a restraining order and/or harassment case. Easy peasy.

Also, Assertive behaviour works in response to both Aggressive and Passive-Aggressive behaviour pattern. Stand your ground, state your point, don't budge or let them manipulate or threaten you.

Passive > Again, another easy behaviour to handle. Passive people go with the flow and follow other people's order/direction like sheeps. So while no one might respect or admire these kind of people, but no one hates them either. In fact, the first two kind of people actually prefer passive people because they are easy to manipulate and use.

Most of the human kind is mostly Passive until threatened.

Assertive > As you mentioned, this is a balanced behaviour. They don't approach others first and only respond when approached. But if someone gets in their face, they know how to stand their ground and fight back.

How to deal with assertive people? If they are not someone you can take, stay out of their way.

Unlike aggressive people, they won't come to your home to bother you.

But if you step into their domain, unlike passive people, they won't spare you.

And most importantly, regardless of behaviour pattern and gender, every person should understand this simple concept - NO means NO.

So everyone should live and let live and if they are not being able to live, fix themselves. The problem is them. They shouldn't try to go and ruin someone else's life because they are not happy.


Edited by tia.o - 8 years ago
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Posted: 8 years ago
#8
i dont want to say that much abt this jerk's character ..thank god yesterday i didnot have time to watch due to work ..👍🏼
just to say ..nowadays after seeing this jerk's activities i am 100% sure dev is khatris son😳 ...😆
according to me dev sona shouldnot get back together
Edited by kinara17 - 8 years ago
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Posted: 8 years ago
#9
Wonderful post Sabita

These days I make sure my kids are not there while I am watching this show. I don't want them to see this Dev and think - mom likes this show so whatever the guy is doing must be acceptable / good. I even went one step ahead and told my elder one that I watch it to learn about different kinds of weird behaviours and are they all treatable. 😆 (No kidding! I did tell him that)

Honestly... if we have to guard our kids against explicit scenes / rape scenes / crude violence, we have think twice before we let them watch this Dev Dixit too because kids of this generation have very high grasping and understanding power.
Push-pull thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#10
👏👏👏 Thanks for sharing this wonderful insight...
It doesn't matter what one thinks, what their intentions are and how they interpret their own thoughts.. They just do it.. And their actions matter the most and they speak for it all..

The intellects or so-called critics, in the name of studying characters and their negative behaviors and in thirst of feeding their own mental capacity, dig deep into them to find out the goodness in them.. Get beyond the realism and give every positive angle to their negative behaviors .. But they know when they see a real one, hiding behind such traits, such characters are not to be chosen for relationship.. They know that it never works with them... And it works only on paper...😉
But the ignorant lots out there reading such details, think that poor soul has something special and looks for goodness in the obsessive lover chasing them, thinking that all of their aggression will fade away once they give their love😆... They think maybe it works...
And the other lot think yes, behaving such a way is the trend and there is no harm in being negative because that is popular with common people.. And being light to dark grey and negative is normal.. Or even better, such behavior get glorified because they are special and there is lot more to it... People out there will understand or at least will try to understand... They think yeah it should work... 🥱
Add to it, dig deep through the positive behavior and the straight forward characters, put some twist to their behaviors thus giving a different perspective of how the same positivity can be seen negatively... Beyond the face value.. Leaving them not-so-ideal ones feel better with their negative shades and pull a oh-you-mother-theresa comment on the others making the not-so-grey ones looked down...🥱

Upbringing is one part.. What the kids see and learn around plays a major part.. How not to be is what should be highlighted instead of highlighting what and why.. Because everyone comes up with every reason to be what they are.. And being negative is always the easy way out. And making it cool, nothing helps to kill it.. The impact is for us to see in the society... Hope people stop giving reasons and justification to Dev's negative behaviors...
Edited by Push-pull - 8 years ago

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