Loving Can Hurt Sometimes

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gemini54

@gemini54

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

Thanks to Tia for the post on Devdas. ( not one of my favorite characters ) but he is pretty iconic when we talk about love.

Tragic Love has been the underlying theme of many a classic love stories. I don't know whether this story can be classic or a love story.

But I thought this song seems apt for Sona and Dev ...even down to the ripped jeans😉

This is a beautiful song..whether it is related to Dev or not it is certainly related to Love

Photograph..by Ed Sheeran

Loving can hurt
Loving can hurt sometimes
But it's the only thing that I know
When it gets hard
You know it can get hard sometimes
It is the only thing that makes us feel alive

We keep this love in a photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Hearts are never broken
Times forever frozen still

So you can keep me
Inside the pocket
Of your ripped jeans
Holdin' me closer
'Til our eyes meet
You won't ever be alone
Wait for me to come home

Loving can heal
Loving can mend your soul
And it's the only thing that I know (know)
I swear it will get easier
Remember that with every piece of ya
And it's the only thing we take with us when we die

We keep this love in this photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Our hearts were never broken
Times forever frozen still

So you can keep me
Inside the pocket
Of your ripped jeans
Holdin' me closer
'Til our eyes meet
You won't ever be alone

And if you hurt me
That's OK, baby, only words bleed
Inside these pages you just hold me
And I won't ever let you go

Wait for me to come home [4x]

Oh you can fit me
Inside the necklace you got when you were 16
Next to your heartbeat
Where I should be
Keep it deep within your soul

And if you hurt me
Well, that's OK, baby, only words bleed
Inside these pages you just hold me
And I won't ever let you go

When I'm away
I will remember how you kissed me
Under the lamppost
Back on 6th street
Hearing you whisper through the phone,
"Wait for me to come home."

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Frequent Posters

gmgi

@gmgi

Rocker

Posted: 8 years ago

It is so beautiful and apt Sabitha.

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_Payalj_

@_Payalj_

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

Sabita, a beautiful song depicting a beautiful love.

But one question has been rankling me - why do we want the hero to be perfect? Why can't a love story be of two imperfect people.

We want reality and we want a hero who ticks all the criteria of a sensitive, kind hearted, open minded, co- operative, feminist etc. Etc.

Never happens in reality. We should abuse the show if they glorify Dev which till date they never have. From day one he has been shown a emotionally weak, flawed and impulsive character who was literally a bonded slave of his mother.

When Sona fell in love she happily overlooked these weaknesses.

Bit they ultimately asked for their due. the devotion to family which looked romantic turned out to be a stone tied around their relationship and drowned it.

When they broke up they were shown very angry. Still are. But have the Cvs ever made them say I don't love that person anymore? They have said umpteen times I don't care, his or presence doesn't affect me etc etc. But have they been made to deny love?

Sometimes we like or love something which is really bad for our health. But don't we continue in spite of it. Love for Dev is like that for Sona. It is bad for her mental peace but it is there and she will never have true happiness unless she has it. After all one doesn't love basis the profitability or utility of it.

We want Sona to walk away from Dev basis the person we are and the thought process we have.

Sonakshi is not us she is the CVS brain child. When we want Dev to lose Sona for ever and wallow in his pain what are we evaluating - whether we would be happy with an emotionally immature and selfish lover like Dev or whether the character called Sonakshi would be happy?

If she could have been happy, then seven years is a very long time to get over to become indifferent. She would not have become emotional while talking to shruti.

Why are we forgetting that it is their love story basis their personalities.

The love these two characters share might be toxic, all consuming or weakening but is there and it is their lifeline. After all the heart wants what it wants and logic at least just doesn't work.

I don't know if I made any sense or not, just wrote what came in my mind.

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coolmeet

@coolmeet

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

Apt song .

There's one more song that comes in my mind on this current situation is 'My Happy ending' sung by Avril

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gemini54

@gemini54

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

Payal you make perfect sense.

Yes Love can be about two imperfect people..it always is..aren't we all imperfect..but in my opinion a Love story is strong inspite of those imperfections if there is growth in character , growth in the right direction...because that is life..Growth..if that is not there life is just a mire..in this story in my opinion there has been absolutely no growth.

Dev can be emotional weak , we are all sometimes but weak to the point of abuse is not an excuse. Sona can overlook his weakness who doesn't in real life if we all expect perfection we will be disappointed but always overlooking ones weakness is not good for our own sanity..there has to be balance and growth,.that is what makes the world even though filled with flawed people a place of hope and love and that is not shown in this story and that is my biggest gripe

Hope I made sense with this reply..

Originally posted by: _Payalj_
Sabita, a beautiful song depicting a beautiful love.
But one question has been rankling me - why do we want the hero to be perfect? Why can't a love story be of two imperfect people.

We want reality and we want a hero who ticks all the criteria of a sensitive, kind hearted, open minded, co- operative, feminist etc. Etc.
Never happens in reality. We should abuse the show if they glorify Dev which till date they never have. From day one he has been shown a emotionally weak, flawed and impulsive character who was literally a bonded slave of his mother.

When Sona fell in love she happily overlooked these weaknesses.

Bit they ultimately asked for their due. the devotion to family which looked romantic turned out to be a stone tied around their relationship and drowned it.

When they broke up they were shown very angry. Still are. But have the Cvs ever made them say I don't love that person anymore? They have said umpteen times I don't care, his or presence doesn't affect me etc etc. But have they been made to deny love?

Sometimes we like or love something which is really bad for our health. But don't we continue in spite of it. Love for Dev is like that for Sona. It is bad for her mental peace but it is there and she will never have true happiness unless she has it. After all one doesn't love basis the profitability or utility of it.

We want Sona to walk away from Dev basis the person we are and the thought process we have.

Sonakshi is not us she is the CVS brain child. When we want Dev to lose Sona for ever and wallow in his pain what are we evaluating - whether we would be happy with an emotionally immature and selfish lover like Dev or whether the character called Sonakshi would be happy?

If she could have been happy, then seven years is a very long time to get over to become indifferent. She would not have become emotional while talking to shruti.

Why are we forgetting that it is their love story basis their personalities.

The love these two characters share might be toxic, all consuming or weakening but is there and it is their lifeline. After all the heart wants what it wants and logic at least just doesn't work.

I don't know if I made any sense or not, just wrote what came in my mind.

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AnanyaGhosh

@AnanyaGhosh

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

This post is still blue... Pls mission pink...

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ElMystique

@ElMystique

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: gemini54
Payal you make perfect sense.

Yes Love can be about two imperfect people..it always is..aren't we all imperfect..but in my opinion a Love story is strong inspite of those imperfections if there is growth in character , growth in the right direction...because that is life..Growth..if that is not there life is just a mire..in this story in my opinion there has been absolutely no growth.

Dev can be emotional weak , we are all sometimes but weak to the point of abuse is not an excuse. Sona can overlook his weakness who doesn't in real life if we all expect perfection we will be disappointed but always overlooking ones weakness is not good for our own sanity..there has to be balance and growth,.that is what makes the world even though filled with flawed people a place of hope and love and that is not shown in this story and that is my biggest gripe

Hope I made sense with this reply..

You literally stole my words here.What good is bearing pain for the sake of love ?

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_Payalj_

@_Payalj_

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

@EImystique and sabita, I agree that there should be growth. As I also said earlier I would never love a Dev Dixit. But this is Sona and Dev's story.

Also regarding character growth, has there been any in Sonakshi? I don't see any. Her pride and self belief is still her fatal flaw. Becoming successful and learning from your mistakes are different. Dev has always been successful but is he mature?

But still Dev is shown hooked on Sonakshi irrespective of her being the same person she was before . Same applies to Sonakshi also. Further I feel we should give the cvs some time dev has at least been shown able to understand the true colours of his family. I am sure they will show him also realising his mistakes and introspect. We just need to be patient.

For seven years he has been nursing his anger. But continued exposure to Sona and Soha will force him to learn.

I think we need to be patient. It's only been a week since the leap. If they had shown a remorseful Dev, the show would end in one month.

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gemini54

@gemini54

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

Payal I am no way saying Sona is not flawed or has grown..I am just saying without growth any love story is doomed..for that matter life is doomed.

In my opinion what they are portraying is both of them are putting up a facade..Sona a facade of strength..Dev a facade of not caring..but a facade is a facade not growth..

About this story they will stretch it as long as they can that is the business model.

.it is just for some of us there has been a disconnect for the show but still for me a connection to this forum..so we are still writing😉

QUOTE=_Payalj_]@EImystique and sabita, I agree that there should be growth. As I also said earlier I would never love a Dev Dixit. But this is Sona and Dev's story.

For seven years he has been nursing his anger. But continued exposure to Sona and Soha will force him to learn.

I think we need to be patient. It's only been a week since the leap. If they had shown a remorseful Dev, the show would end in one month.

Edited by gemini54 - 8 years ago

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Tia.0

@Tia.0

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 8 years ago

#10

Thank you, Sabita. Excellent post.

Here's my take.

Sonakshi has evolved from a romantic girl dreaming of true love and prince charming.

She has grown into a woman who no longer let others define her self-worth and self-respect. She made herself a success alone without anyone's help, raised a child as an independent girl, took the responsibility of her family.

She didn't fall apart, didn't waste her time assigning blames and didn't sit in a corner crying.

The only difference in Dev is that he has stopped following his mother commands. Otherwise he never cared about what anyone else said or did. He still doesn't. If his mother hadn't kept him in a tight leash where he always had to be an ideal man as his mother imagines an ideal man should be like, who knows how he'd have been even in season 1?

Whether these two ever get together as couple is moot point. Whether these two can become parents and co-parent Soha together is more important. And slinging blames and being an ass is not the way to do it.

Regardless of whether Sonakshi has a baby or not, the way Dev had been behaving in season 2 (and I am not talking about his Casanova ways), is not how a decent person behaves.

Knowing the reason for his behaviour is not same as justifying it.

Because otherwise, a serial killer who was abused as a child will get a free pass.

A man who beats his wife can excuse his behaviour on the ground that that's how he was raised and that's how his parents behaved.

A thief will justify that he has a family to pay for, so he should get scot-free.

But that's not how it works. So we know why Dev is the way he is. But does it make his behaviour justifiable? No.