Ria ka Adda: A Beautiful Future Awaits! - Page 49

ok..so looks like no party sharty...

Originally posted by: Yeah

Okay so thinking about Punji's self-actualization.

I was introduced to self-actualization while studying Fifth Business, and we studied Carl Jung's defenition. As far as I remember, the protagonist throughout the novel needs to self-actualize (i guess is the term) and it basically implies that he needs to accept the flaws in his personality, not blame himself for everything wrong that happens in nd around him, learn to move on in life. He needed to accept it and live with it. Acc to Carl Jung, everyone has an exterior and a shadow, wherein their shadow is the negative side of their personality. People have to learn to accept their shadow, and when they accept their exterior and their shadow, they've self-actualized.

Perhaps we're dealing with different definitions. Anjana: Could be there are different versions of Maslow's theory. I like the original😛 But for me, Punji will not self-actualize until he has forgiven himself for ruining Arohi's life. Currently, Arjun is burdened by the fact that he is the person who ruined Arohi's life and is imposing the strictest of punishments upon himself to redeem himself. His greatest desire is to be with the woman he loves yet his shadow, his evil side is preventing him from doing so. In order to self-actualize, from what I understand, he will need to accept that considering the situation he was in, he had no option to mis-understand Arohi. His insecurities from his young age, his unwavering faith in his dad were the reasons why he was unable to see through the situation and believe Arohi. He needs to realize just that and stop punishing himself for ruining her life. I guess with this realization he'll be able to self-actualize and live life without punishing himself, and live with and for the person he loves the most- Arohi. Okay so poke holes as necessary. Maybe I just need the Maslow theory to be explained slightly more'or perhaps we're dealing with different definitions, hence, the slight disagreement for the level that he's reached. So, I would agree that he has passed all the other levels, but I don't think he's self-actualized yet. Manna, I disagree with you. Arjun will never be able to forgive himself nor should he - his childhood and insecurities does not excuse his misconduct. He has, however, accepted that he was wrong. For him, self-actualization will be forward without forgiveness. That to my mind is true acceptance of the past. And he is at the stage where he can move forward. That's why I think he has "self-actualized" or is on the cusp of doing so.

Why do i say that? He was able to step up and say "I love you like crazzy", he asked her if she said yes to K.S., even at the police station he tried to explain, but was too hurt by her "disbelief" to take that final step and explain. But, that desire to clear this particular MU was there. He has a degree of "hope" back and has had it ever since Abhay told him to have it. The only thing holding him back now is her degree of pain... He's ready, she is not.

And about Arjun actually growing as a character,

I initially wanted to related Arjun to gradualism and Arohi to punctuated equilibrium, as they're used in evolution. However, I'm not sure anymore if either character has truly changed. They are both still the loving, caring, considerate people they once were. Arjun had a cold front, because he did not want to seem vulnerable. He did not want to show to people the extent to which he was actually hurt and torn inside. However, internally, he sympathized with people/animals, and acted different from other people. People generally don't run after a hurt dog, don't give early retirement to financially torn older men, etc. Also, he showed immense love for this dad by fighting with Rupali, and immense hatred towards the people who hurt his dad and himself, so his mom. So him actually sacrificing himself, performing actions unexpected of other people were already a part of his personality. So has he really changed? Sure he would've never given importance to women before, but he would have given importance to a loved one, and he loved Arohi unconditionally. So has Arjun really changed? Manna, Arjun has changed. Before he helped people - YES. But, he did so through intermediaries. What do i mean? He gave the puppy to his driver. He gave pple money from corporate account, etc. That was easy to do when he was sitting in a comfy air-conditioned office. What he is doing now is entirely different... he is helping Arohi himself. At his own physical/mental/financial expense. That is true self-sacrifice. There is a big difference btwn the two... personally, i have never been into donating money - i believe in donating myself. There is a difference btwn the two. A HUGE difference to my mind. The old ARJUN PUNJ would have created an untraceable company and made Arohi a Superstar. Not so this one. This Arjun Punj is not using the might of his father's money, but his own "wits" to act as a mere "catalyst" for her.

Arohi as well. Arohi feels dead primarily because she no longer has Arjun in her life. I remember the day in the hospital when she said that I want to go so far ahead that "palat ke dekhne par bhi uska aks na dikhayi de" whereas previously on the May 4^th epi she said "agar mere man se apka aks nikal de to kuch nahin" ___ something. So I remember saying after the hospital scene, the journey she's now going to be going on she'll find herself dead because she'll be trying to run away from Arjun. However, she is still the same person, caring and respectful of other people. While fighting to become a superstar, she has not yet forgot her morals/values or obligations (still cares for her family). So has Arohi changed? Anjana: Arohi - too has changed, by not changing. (That's confounding, na?). It is only when we are tested that our true identity is revealed. Arohi's accident and Arjun's "betrayal" - could have completely and underestandably changed her. Instead it made her in many ways a better version of who she already was. More emphatic because she now has experienced "true" pain. For instance, she recognizes KS' loneliness becoz she is "alone". Also, until you experience "love" as an ehsaas you cannot "imbue" the essence of it I think in "music" - loving Arjun has given her music that depth/richness (see Badimaa's commetary) at the Shimla singing competition. Now her dard is reflected in the "milke bichaad" version of the KMH song. Because her pain while not changing the core of her has "enriched" her. This "enriching" is what i mean by he's changed her for the better... pain makes some pple bitter, its made her a "richer" version of the old Arohi. Hope that makes sense...

EDIT

Originally posted by: grsiri

@anu...after readin ur to do list...i feel so bad fr wat karan did ...he says he left everythin fr kmh...thn how come..he doesnt remember of any of his days...god ..parents...kisiko thanks nahin kaha...he jus made a fun of himself giggling so much..while receivin first award..i jus felt his innocence..par dusra ..atleast he shud hav remembere d wat he frgt to mention at first...this is sooo saddd fr any actor...jab parents hii yaad nahin hain...hum viewers ko chodo .life mein aise moments sirf ek hi baar aathe hain...and he made it worse....nw i feel sooo sad...pavs ab tum ro math..😆...read my pen kahani again..it wil set ur mood right..😃...

raga

I agree with ur sadness raga , there are two things ppl should never ever forget one parents and two god. I feel for his parents who mustve watched that and felt bad , other than that no comments

Anu

Originally posted by: pavs

r
@ anu n sanju wil say hi 2 ma on ur behalf
anu she is crazy abt ur to do list n she loves both ria's n ur post...

She already saw my posts 😭😭. Now I need to rename myself 😆, and show off as the sanest person in the world 😆😆😆

Anu

@Raga: *nudge* Hello *phoolo ki baarish* :)

I am done with dinner....shukar hai it went ok...warna with the Adda peeking I thought I had ruined it all! How was lunch Anu?

@pavs: Hey I love your Mom and her virtual presence at the Adda...say my hi to her too! and I won't mind taking the credit for Anu's posts😆 😉 😆 considering I am the biggest critic of my writings 😃

@Mehr: I guess he realized that once the show airs he might loose his loyal fans since he forgit to mention them on stage....so he put that up on his fb status...but what he forgot was that FB ka status would change...but what has been recoreded at NTA will be remembered for long!

@Anjana: Hello🤗

hello...so no party going on here..its look like u all in a bad mood after the awards..ok does anybody knows how to post pics out here...

@Shreya: Upload it on tinypic and then post it here =]

@Pavs: hello *phoolo ki baarish* i was just writing my reply to Manna's post :)