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CHAPTER 16
Time seems to have stopped as Prem and Heer gazed into each other's eyes. A storm of unanswered questions were buzzing through Prem's head and Heer's mind was preparing her for the emotional battle that lay in front of her. Outwardly she had shown that she was brave enough to handle the situation life had dealt upon her, but her inner self was doubting ..What if Prem never regains her memory…The only thing which was keeping her going was the belief in their love.
Ja Sanam Mujhko Hain
Pyaar pe Aitbaar
Main karungi tera intezaar
Ja sanam yeh bahaar phir laut aayegi…
Main karungi tera intezaar
While outside the room, Preet and Ash explained to Gayatri about the decision Heer had made. Initially, Gayatri declined to let Heer go ahead with it as she did not want Heer to get hurt in any way, but Ash persuaded her telling she knew her heerdi and she believed in her and at this time she needed the undivided support of everyone. Atlast reluctantly Gayatri agreed.
The noise at the door got them out their reverie. Gayatri entered the room.
"So Prem, Heer se mile na. Heer tum Prem ki dost ho na, to ghar aane ke baad roj use shaam ko ghumane leke jane ka kaam main tumhe deti hoon. Ok"
"Ji maa." Heer conveyed her gratitude towards Gayatri through her eyes.
Prem was observing them, happy at the closeness and comfort level his mom shared with Heer. He felt like his mom was setting this up, he did not know why but he did not deny that he felt good that he was going to get to spend time with Heer. He wanted to know her….
Meher came in and told heer that it was time for them to leave. Maa bauji were waiting for them.
" Ok Maa, main chalti hoon. Prem, take care. I will come tomorrow."
"I will be waiting."
Heer smiled at Prem and this time it reached her eyes.
After she had left, Prem felt lonely. 'Why was he so sad when Heer had left. Why did it feel that he will do anything to see her smile. On one hand, I am not able to recollect anything about Heer. She is like a stranger to me, but then why does it feel like I have known her for ages, why do I feel like she has played an important role in the period of which I have no recollection.'
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When Heer reached home with Ash and Meher, Balraj and Teji were waiting for her. She could see in their eyes questions, which had to be answered. They had the right to know what was going on.
"Heer beta, fresh ho jao, main khana lagati hoon."
After a shower, she came down and sat to eat her food. Instead of eating she was just playing with the food morsels. She had no appetite.
"Heer, thoda khana kha lo, accha lagega."
"ji maa."
After dinner, she helps clean up and starts to go to her room when she is called by Teji to her room.
"Beti, I have seen you grow in front of my eyes. You have played in my arms. Tum meri kok se janmi ho. Agar tum na batao to bhi main tumhare dard ko mehsoos kar sakti hoon. Tum lakh apna dard mujhse chupao, mujhse chup nahi sakta. Bolo beta, kya baat hain. Tum Prem se pyaar karti hoon na."
Listening to her mom's words made her lose the control she had over her emotions. She hugged her mom and cried her heart out. It made her heart light and she spoke between the tears, "Maa, haan Hum dono, Prem aur main ek doosre se bahut pyaar karte hain. Aur aaj hum dono milke yeh baat hum dono ke ghar main khud batane wale the. Lekin yeh haadsa ho gaya aur maa Prem ko kuch yaad nahin. Naa main yaad hoon na hamara pyaar. Mujhe bahut darr lag raha hain maa."
"Heer beta, tumhare dard ka ehsaas hain mujhe. Aaj maine dekha hain kit tum Prem se kitna pyaar karti hoon. Lekin jitna main apni beti ko jaanti hoon, usne kabhi haarna nahin sikha. Agar tumhe apne pyaar pe vishwas hain to age badho. Prem tumhe pyaar karta hain na, to tumhe bhool gaya hain to kya, apne pyaar ke ehsaas ko nahi bhoola hoga. Usko pyaar se har ek cheez yaad dilao."
"Lekin maa, doctor ne kaha hain ki Prem ko is waqt koi stress nahi dena chahiye."
"Use sirf tumhare pyaar ki jarurat hain. Apne pyaar se use nayi yaadein do. Heer, pyaar karne wale ko bhoolkar bhi pyaar ka ehsaas hamesha jinda rehta hain. Hum tumhare saath hain." These words came from Balraj mann who was standing at the door, listening to the mother daughter talk.
Seeing her father understanding the turmoil she was going through, she was so overwhelmed, that she ran to him and hugged him.
"Thanks bauji, thank u….."
"Chalo ab so jao, kal jaldi nikalna hain na."
As she went to her room, she thanked God for giving her the most understanding and loving parents.
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After a disturbed nights sleep, Heer got ready to go to the hospital.
When she reached the hospital, Prem was asleep and she suggested Preet to go home and rest. She spoke to the doctor who told her that Prem was doing good and should be discharged in a day or three.
She came back to find Prem sitting on his bed.
"Good Morning, Had a good night's sleep?"
"Yeah, with the sedatives, I don't know when I dozed off."
"That's good. You needed that rest. Are you up for breakfast or would you like to wait for some time."
"Actually I'm starved. But I will freshen up in a bit."
Heer serves him breakfast. They have a light conversation, Heer was taking care that Prem is not overly stressed by talking. She stayed the entire day, taking care of his lunch, snacks and any other needs.
Over the next three days, Heer used to be in the hospital before he woke up and stay up till late evening. He liked talking to her. He felt at ease around her.
Today he was going to be discharged. He woke up but did not see Heer. His bauji and Preet were present. Preet packed his stuff and told Prem to get ready. But he saw that his PB was lost in some thoughts.
"PB, are you ok?"
"Oh yeah. Am ready to go home. Lets get going."
When they reached home, Gayatri Maa did the nazar utarna routine. Everyone welcomed him, but his eyes seemed to be searching for someone.
"PB, aap kisiko dhund rahe ho?" Preet who was sitting besides him questioned.
"Nah, main kyun kisiko dhundunga. Sab to yahi hain."
"By the way, aapka intezar khatam hua. Darwaze ki aur dekhiye." Preet whispered in his ears.
Glancing at the person at the door, bought a sparkle in Prem's eyes.
He was not the only one who was happy on seeing Heer, she seemed to infuse a feeling of happiness with her cheerful exhuberance.
She made him happy too. He was not able to reason with himself why his heart jumped at her sight and he did not even want to think, he just wanted to drink the sight of her.
He suddenly got up and told everyone that he was going to his room as he was tired, directed a glance at Heer and went towards his room. Heer was nonplussed at his sudden departure. She asked if he was fine and with Gayatri ma's permission went to see Prem.
He was pacing in his room. He was angry with her for turning up so late. He was so used to seeing her when he opened his eyes in the morning. He looked forward to their chats. He wished for the night to pass sooner so that he will get to see her and what she did not come today.
"Prem…" made him look at the door where Heer was standing.
"So after all you did get the time to come. I was waiting for you the entire day. You did not even call to let me know that you were not coming. Oh yeah, why will you have time to come and visit your sick neighbor. Right?" Prem nearly blasted Heer.
It was so unlike him, that hearing him had tears welling up in her eyes, which he saw before she brushed them away and put a smiling front.
"Oh what the hell is wrong with me? I do not remember yelling. And why do I expect so much from her. I cannot see tears in her eyes, I could drink them away." Though Prem and he moved close to Heer.
"Hey, I'm sorry. I guess being confined to the hospital made me irritable. But I had no right to yell at you."
"Its ok. You have every right too." Said Heer which got a quizzical look from Prem in reply.
"Isn't that what Friendship is all about. We are friends. A friend, from whom you can expect the world. So I'm fine."
"Thank you for being so understanding."
"Anyways I could not come because a bride was having last minute jitters before her wedding and she wanted me to be present. My job required me."
Gayatri Ma came to call them for dinner. Heer excused herself as her parents were waiting for her. Gayatri Ma reminded her that she had to take Prem for a walk from tomorrow.
"yeah I will be there."
"Prem I will come in the morning before going to office."
.
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The next day, Heer visited Prem on the way to office
"Prem, I'm sorry I won't be able to spend the daytime with you as I have to go to office to finish off the work for a wedding due in 5 days, but I will be pick you for the walk at 6. Should that be fine?"
"I understand. Even though I would love to have you here the entire time, I know the importance of work. Will see you at 6."
Heer arrived at 10 minutes to 6. Kulrajdi offered her tea. Prem came down and both of them went for the walk. She took her to the beach. He felt good to feel the open air after a long time. They sat down.
"I feel like I have been here before. This sand, the waters, I know this place."
Prem closed his eyes. "I can picture me sitting her ….with someone but I cannot see her face."
"Prem…"Heer lightly touched his shoulder.
"Yeah I cannot see her face. But her voice…your voice..your touch.."
"Prem.. I do not think that you should stress yourself too much. Relax."
"But I have to know her…"
"You will. Anyways come get up we will go into the water."
"Are you mad.. No."
"Oh c'mon."
They had fun in the water, splashing water at each other, feeling the cold water. Prem felt relaxed.
Over the next few days, everyday they went for a walk.
On one of their walks he told her to follow her. He took her to the Radhe-Kishan temple. She was surprised that he remembered it.
"Heer, this temple, I did not know how but some unknown power just dragged me here yesterday. When I saw this temple, I just went blank and closed my eyes. And I saw some blurred images as if a blurred motion picture happening in front of me. I could see that it was dark and I saw two people, one of which I'm sure was me protecting some light. But I was not able to see her face properly again. I do not know why I keep on getting blurred glimpses. I'm sure whoever she is, was an important part of my life, the part of which I have no recollection.
Heer I brought you here, coz I know you are the only one who will believes me, will not think of me making it up. Heer, I need to find her, I feel incomplete without her….Please..My life has become like a puzzle, a part, an important part of which is missing." He broke down at this.
"Prem, calm down. I believe you. I know its frustrating when you are not able to put in the pieces together. But I promise you, I will help you put the puzzle together. But you also promise me that you will not over stress yourself. You remember the doctor's words right. I don't mind if you do not remember me..i mean the girl but I, your family can't take it if something happens to you. Promise me you will give it time…Will you listen to me."
Prem gathered himself. "Yes Heer, you are right. I do not even know whether the images are really a part of my life or just my overworked imagination. I will not exert myself. I do not want to give more grief to my family. They have had enough. Sorry for troubling you too. You are something Heer. I do not know what would I do without you."
"Neither do I."
They had a moment there, eyes meeting, breaths holding and Prem could not hold himself back anymore and he took her into his arms. They stayed like that for a while.
"God only know how much she wanted it. She wanted to feel him so badly…Oh Prem, I miss you so much." She thought to herself.
It was as if the embrace changed everything he felt for her. Why was he feeling attracted towards her? It was like something was pulling him towards her, an unknown force. But he felt good to have her in his arms, He felt like all his tensions melt. She fit so well in his arms, he felt as if he had held her before. But then wouldn't heer have mentioned about it. Why would she hide it from me? He knew one thing for sure that he and heer were definitely closer, more than what she was ready to reveal and he was gonna find it out, maybe give her some time too.
He then held her by her shoulders, looked into his eyes and something unexpected happened, he kissed her and he felt it was the most natural thing to do. The kiss was tender and mesmerizing. When he pulled away, he did so with much regret.
'What had gotten into him' he questioned himself. He looked at her. Her eyes had a vulnerable look and he did not know what to say to her. Things were better being unsaid. That moment both had to live. So both with lowered eyes, thoughts to themselves, they started walking back. She stumbled on a path in the stone and he caught her, the remaining journey he did not let her hand go.
'Life was changing for him. Relationships were gonna have a new meaning or they already had?
They walked in silence hand in hand. They reached at the door of Juneja house. Their eyes met for a flickering second while opening the door.
'Prem………….' Came the shout of joy from inside from a voice new to Heer.
She came and hugged Prem.
'Oh Prem, when I got the news of your accident, I came in the next flight I could board. I'm so happy to see you fine."
"Sanjana…" Prem said with a look of surprise.
'I heard that you have lost your memory. Prem you remember me right.?'
'Yeah I do remember you Sanjana.'
'Thank heavens. Otherwise it would look funny if you do not remember your fiance.'
'What are you talking about Sanjana.?' All this while he was holding Heer's hand.
'Prem you do not remember that you proposed me and asked me to marry you when you called me I guess on the day of your accident. Oh what do I do now. Oh I think we should sit down and talk.'
She took his hand and nearly dragged him towards the couch to sit.
Heer was rooted in her position. Their fingers which were entwined together were no longer so, as their hands separated. Prem looked back at Heer, the pain in her eyes betraying the calm exterior she had put on. He wished he could take away the pain, hold her close……But did he have the right now?
Heer's eyes met Prem's as he glanced back in her direction. She was in shock with what had just transpired in front of her. Her hand still hovered in mid-air when it was free of his. Her heart was broken but she knew she still loved him with every piece of the broken heart and her heart will only call for him. Her heart was still filled with love for him and her eyes with tears of the pain of losing him.
Tum se thi meri Zindagi
Lekin yeh kya hua
Ja Sanam Mujhko Hain
Pyaar pe Aitbaar
Main karungi tera intezaar
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