3 apr: big things, little things

Originally posted by: estee

'm not sure what things there were in the show tonight. i saw it. i felt ... blue after. but these days, my life doesn't allow me the luxury of wallowing in that feeling. i'm afraid that me and this show have a very short time left with each other... and i'm really afraid that prem's not gonna get his prem-heer-are-one-and-i-can't-leave-her-ever! act together before i go!! you will go and come back me thinks 😆 maybe not to write the bt,lt but to follow premeer. 😆 you see the have installed their tracking chip under your skin. trust me on this one 😆

omg! that's just like prem thinks he has left in this world!!! *i'm seriously creeped out - prem and i have these creepy links... and unlike him, i am not bhagwan! i just want to be one to find out how prem-heer-are-one will prevail now! and if i cannot find out before i .... oh, unbearable thought! mera kya hoga, kalia??! * guess somewhere inside his soul he always knew that theirs would be a painful relationship. but being prem he always wanted to make it all 'right' and reached the limit of saying he is not bhagwan. how many of us even try to be godlike. (though i must say i do not like his way of being bhagwan like - at heer's expense.)

and what will happen to you - time will take care of that 😊

* heer thing: isn't she wonderful in how she always, always, always focusses on being prem-heer-are-one? no, really. she does. prem has all these conditions for being prem-heer-are-one. but heer? for her, that's the only thing she seems to know, breathe, live. i wonder if prem knows that... i wonder if he knows that voluntarily walking away will be total betrayal of prem-heer-are-one for her? yup, she re-invented herself to make him confess, took care of all people dear to him. she is rock solid. he can trust her with his eyes closed. somewhere, (amongst all his warped thing) he knows that she will be fine. she is one with him. he does not worry about himself and so he does not worry about her.

'cause it's one thing to think that a blast -- something totally out of his control -- took him away from her. it's totally something else to know that he voluntarily willingly walked away from her, no? 😕 is there anything that can rationalise that act of prem's? death imminent or no death imminent? for heer? for me? for us? *i have a sad feeling not...* in such circumstances, one wants to taste life till the last drop, and spend time with loved ones. but for him he does not value life; strange especially for one who has just suffered a real death experience. i wish he did not take heer to be bhagvan too.😕

* prem thing: and this was sooooo not the moment for prem to allow his alter-ego hip-hop prem to show up! it just wasn't! i did not like that. so unlike hc to slip out of character. where was the director?

was it any wonder that heer absolutely refused to accept that front end anymore? *omg! the hurt look in her eyes when he tries to be hip-hop was out of this world fantastic!* that was a heart breaking hug.

* prem voice thing: and when she threatens to not believe her god, is it any wonder that he has to revert to being prem and hold her? and for me? just as much -- or more?! -- than his holding her was that softly voiced reaction in ''itna gussa!'' there was such understanding in that voice. 😍 *man, hc rocks prem's loving voice to heer... that voice is the one thing that could stand between me and me hating prem! 🤣*

the total love in that voice is what completely throws me off in his dogged persistence about leaving. i just. don't. get it. *sigh* maybe i need to w&w to see what he actually does. maybe prem -- as always -- will surprise me again. 'cause what i'm reading is that he will leave... he probably will not but i so wanted it because he could see heer's pain. hc's voice as prem is just perfect.

* little thing: 'kay. what's with gaurav-mom tracking prem? at first i thought she is paranoid that she will lose him if she loses sight of him. but darnit! he is holding on to his promise, inn't he?? why can't she let him - them - have their privacy!? 😡 i despise peeping ... women in these shows! i do! we have never had any tension free premeer moments -

* little thing: gah. what a horrible flashback. to know that prem -- based on a lie?? -- certainly and finally chose to turn away from the junejas.. and heer! *how could he...? doesn't make sense...* that - is beyond my understanding

* stooopid thing: ''you wouldn't want me to be defeated, would you?'' idjut! with no prem-heer-are-one you are less than you could be! how much more of a defeat do you want? why are you sooo afraid to live just 'cause death is a little closer than you earlier thought? death is inevitable prem! it is! what are you trying by running away 'cause it's been preponed?? there is just no logic to it. he has maintained all his responsibilites besides the one to heer. guess his belief of premeer are one is stronger than ours

argggh!!!! i don't get what prem's doing! especially after he's been through the blast! argh!!! *forcing myself to draw deep breaths and postpone the hyperventilation for theweekend's wtf..*

* little thing: well, one thing's for sure -- this show cannot possibly be a good one if it gets focussed on harman-maya's life... 🤣i cannot understand how two different people start out like this...

*stop making those shocked faces* not that i thought it ever would... but they've actually had a full happy wedding ceremony for these two. *thinking* hey! maybe that's the only happy thing they could ever imagine for them, that's why?

* cool thing: prem's gift to harman rocked. no, seriously. it was a wonderful gesture. am not so sure, has he forgotten just how imperfect the world can be..

i remembered that he was the guy who told harman that if he came to visit, he'd get his favourite juice, but no family connections. and he now gives him a spare key! how generous! giving harman the choice of living where he wants. but leaving the door open if he should want to come to jzoo! what a wily fox prem is, when he wants to be!ok so you were being sarcastic!. when he gave the juice he was gaurav. balem the creatives

*sigh* why can't he be this smart about living with heer? just 'cause someone and he are one and the same, does it really mean that not living together doesn't matter? *sigh* but i want them to live together... i want him to see heer's hairs turn white. slowly, i mean! not all of them suddenly out of the shock when he volunatarily leaves her! *lopsided grin* 😆😆😆 just picturing this is hilarious .ok now i will not cry when they show he is leaving - if they do..

* little thing: but that bhashan bored! at least, it bored me. the only part i thought was cute during that bhashan was how heer was all proud and smiling, her eyes basically saying ''see!-that's-my-prem!'' in front of the whole crowd! she was seriously cute.

*sigh* why does heer love prem sooooo much? because she knows what it is like to loose him and live without him

* little thing: how rude! in the middle of prem's gift, maya just turns and leaves! what a horribly brought up person!

* little thing: geez! harman must be the blindest person ''in love'' -- well, after nihaal. 😆 he actually thought maya ran up in the middle to ... pack to leave for jzoo?!!

man! harman! she left you to die once, remember. what more does it take you to ... sense that maya's love for you is of a very twisted sort!? *and i'm thinking that there's a good business case to be made for starting a home-for-stoooopid-husbands... nihaal and harman would pay much for admission into such a place! 😆*

* little thing: but hey! harman decides to get a backbone! i, for one, thought he deserved some kind of a pat-on-the-back for reminding maya that he'd never promised her a life in her father's house. and that the choice was really hers about what she wanted to do. that was cool. *thumbs up*

* little thing: 'kay! maya-dad came in too fast for me to not know that he listened to the convo.

and guys, seriously, no one else thinks there's something dark and twisted in the maya-maya-dad love? i mean, seriously??! 🤢

* little thing: hey, maya? we got the khoon-ka-ansoon line the first time. we got you're the next dirtchachi-wanna-be. we are very sensitive to evil in this show, given how we have the ... whitest counterparty of good and love ever created -- ie, prem-heer.

we get you're evil, 'kay? don't need to repeat it.. *and good luck trying to match dirtchachi-actress in convincing us... * ok i tuned out when they showed the whole maya thing

* little thing: gayatri-mom trying to make maya and maya-dad feel not bad 'bout her leaving home. that was a very genuine thing to say.

what a nice lady she can be. y'know? i used to think there was something a little twisted in how she used to be so very prem-centric earlier. i hope that in her post-vegetative life, she's gonna be a more loving mom to everyone -- particularly (god) preet. he's been getting his fair share of paternal love. and now, he seriously deserves some maternal love. we need to see preet loved by meher, mom ...and us?

*sigh* i'm w&w... but as i said earlier, i hope that prem comes to his senses fast. unlike the fictional world of this show, my life is gonna take far-far away from the show and this forum real soon now. and i'd like to leave knowing that prem doesn't leave the care&maintenance of prem-heer-are-one all to heer, while he goes off, spinning on someone's thoughtless lie...

what am i talkin' 'bout? look out for this weekend's wtf. where we may have some wt's. we will certainly have a pooja. and an announcement. for those who care... w&w. 🤔😆

highlight of the show: hmmm. not much to choose from, no? for me? the phhandooooh when prem says ''itna gussa!'' in that loving voice and holds heer close to him. holding her, comforting her, and yet not having the gumption to take her tears face on. *thinking* actually, his voice when he says ''itna gussa!'' was quite a highlight. i've been thirsting to hear that prem-voice talking to heer for ... oh! ever so long! 😍 without heer's heartbreaking picture, the voice can be the highlight.

poor heer. poor prem. if only they stopped feeling for a moment, and thought in that moment. maybe that way, it will still be prem-heer-are-one-and-staying-together before.... *sigh* ... well, i hope it will be so before the end of next week. *keeping my fingers crossed -- d'you know how difficult it is to do that and type stuff out?!?! 🤣* you are funny? toes should work 😆