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420366

Suspended

Posted: 16 years ago

#211

Oh!My!God! I just pounced on to this! Gosh! I have so much to catch up on! So, this is my Spot! Big hug:)
Love:-Nonee

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And I should tell you because...?

@shabo24

Rocker

Posted: 16 years ago

#212

Pehla Nasha

Nupur sat there, smirking to herself, as Mayank was itching to reach out and throttle her. She had forced him to buy him another mayapuri and had thrown a tantrum before they stepped on the bus, forcing him to empty his pockets. They sat now, in the bus, as it inched along the dusty road, stopping, literally every miniute to pick up or drop off people.

The door of the bus creaked open and Mayank watched as two young woman climbed on to the bus, chattering animentaly. One caught his eye as she used her hands to explain to her friend the matter. He watched as her long hair tumbled down the back, accentuating her curves even more. He dragged his eyes up to her face and his heart stopped as he took in her dark eyes, standing out from her creamy complexion. She smiled at him, a blush working its way up her neck.

Nupur tapped her fingers against the seta, humming tunlessly. She was bored. She needed entertainment. An sly smirk worked its way on her face. She was with Mayank right? There was her entertainment. She turned to ask him a question and stopped when she saw the look on his face. He was smiling to himself. She frowned. Mayank smiling? Something was wrong.

She watched as his eyes kept darting to the girls standing in front of them, specifically the one with the long, hair that was loose, dangaling down her back, shining in the light. Her eyes narrowed. She had long hair too. She just kept it tied. It was still pretty. Very much like this girl's hair. Then why wasn't Mayank admiring her hair?

Mayank hit himself over the head mentally. What was wrong with him? He could barely handle one girl and he was checking out another? Though the one standing in front of him was very distanguished. There was something alluring about her. He heard a 'hmph' from his right and turned to see Nupur glaring at the trees the bus was passing. At that second, the bus drove over a bump, causing bags all over the bus to tumble. Most people stayed upright, all but one.

The one standing in front of him, the one he had been watching had not being holding on to a pole, so she felt backwards, never mind her friends attempt to catch her as she fell. Down she fell right into Mayank's knee, her foot hitting hard on his making him wince in pain. Her hair fell over her face like a curtian and ever so slowly she revealed her features, making Mayank forget about his throbbing right toe.

"Sorry."

A quiet, faint hush like voice emmited from her. Mayank stared, going cross-eyed while he tried to think of something intelligent to say.

'Come on Mayank! One think! One darned thing!'

She smiled sheeplishly at him, waiting for him to stop making strained faces.

'Ullu ka phata! Why can't you think of ONE thing to say?'

Her eyebrows stiched together slightly as she waited for him to respond.

'Oh god Mayank, no wonder you don't have a girlfriend, THINK!'

Slowly, Aradhna stood up, smiling at him polietly, and turned back to her friend who quickly started chattering.

Mayank groaned. He shut his eyes and knelt back in his seat, angry with himself. Nupur watched him with disgust. What an absoloute moron.

The bus slowed to a stop as people pushed past each other to get off. Aradhna slowly made her way past the people, pushing past them half-heartedly, pausing every second or so to peek back at the guy who sat in his seat, next to the distrunglted looking girl. Her friend, tired, made her way back to her, to see where she had gone.

"RADZ! Will you hurry up?"

Aradhna tore her eyes from him. "Coming Bhav..."

Bhavna pushed her way past people and grabbed her friend's wrist. "What are you taking so long for? Huh? You think you would be checking someone out..." Her voice trailed off as she followed Aradhna's gaze and located Mayank.

A sly grin appered on her face, one that Aradhna registered one as pure danger. Warningly, Radz put up a finger. "Bhav...no...."

It was too late. Bhavna started singing. Off tune, of course. "Pehla nashaaaaa, pehla khummaar...naya pyar hai naya intazaaaaaaaaaaar...."

Groaning, Aradhna grabbed her friend and ran off the bus. At that moment, Mayank's eyes snapped open, surprised to find out that in love, you really do hear music.

***

So this is a shot based on a true story, more then that, I can not say. 😆 Of course it has been changed a LOT, but the main concept is still there. :) Writing a one shot after a long time, have another one planned, hopefully by the weekend :) Oh please excuse any mistakes, am not in the mood to edit! :) Comments or hits of the like button are greaty appreciated. 😃

--shabz

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Aradhna

@Anhdara13

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 16 years ago

#213

I hate you. *giggles* Okay, you know I don't but that was way better than what really - erm, I mean, that was so realistic! I wonder who the poor dear was that actually fell on someone on the bus. *peeks through fingers* Anyone buy that?

By the way, Meera probably questioned you on the story, do tell it to her. *grin*

Love,
Radz

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Ravjot

@rainydays.

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 16 years ago

#214

Remind me to unreserve 😆

When I said to remind me, I meant send me a PM or something. You replying in the thread didn't help😆

OMG I LOVE this song! I'm gona go listen to it😃 Ooh the girl was Radz? Poor Mayank was so flustered he didn't know what to say and Bhav of course had to sing😆 Me loved it😃 And it's sort of on a true story? That's interesting😆

Edited by -Ravjot- - 16 years ago

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And I should tell you because...?

@shabo24

Rocker

Posted: 16 years ago

#215

Originally posted by: Anhdara13
I hate you. *giggles* Okay, you know I don't but that was way better than what really - erm, I mean, that was so realistic! I wonder who the poor dear was that actually fell on someone on the bus. *peeks through fingers* Anyone buy that? I love you to. 😆 And please, NO one bought that. I might have though, if I didn't know the truth. 😆

By the way, Meera probably questioned you on the story, do tell it to her. *grin* She did, I will. Why you too busy screeching to remember? 😆

Love,
Radz

@Ravzie: Unreserve. There I reminded you. 😆

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Meera

@indiandoll89

Trailblazer

+ 3

Posted: 16 years ago

#216

my spot! 😛

*edited*

Ah ha! 😃 So that was the basis of this 'real' story that I still need to hear...but now that I've read this, I'm even more excited to find out what it was all actually about! 😛

The way you wrote it was cute! 😃 *pinches Mayu's cheeks*

Can't wait for more...😳

Love you,

Meera😳

Edited by indiandoll89 - 16 years ago

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Maddy

@blackdaughter

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 16 years ago

#217

Are wah! That was so well written Shabz!!! *thumbs up*

It was a very realistic senerio and i love how you included Mayank, Radz AND Nupur in somehow!!!!! Great one!!

I love discriptions with long hair!! They make me so happy!!!! 😆 Bhav is so funny, perfect song choice!!!! Bechare Mayank and Radz!! Dono lattu!!! 🤣

Lovely one-shot! I'm sure Radz loved it!! I certainly did! 😃

Love you! *hug*

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420366

Suspended

Posted: 16 years ago

#218

My Spot S!

Will be back......

Love:-Nonee

Quote

And I should tell you because...?

@shabo24

Rocker

Posted: 16 years ago

#219

Originally posted by: indiandoll89
my spot! 😛

*edited*

Ah ha! 😃 So that was the basis of this 'real' story that I still need to hear...but now that I've read this, I'm even more excited to find out what it was all actually about! 😛Next reply to your PM, I'll tell you the details. And then you can bug her.

The way you wrote it was cute! 😃 *pinches Mayu's cheeks* LOL, good to know you liked Mayank...and the shot. 😆

Can't wait for more...😳I know what you are waiting for. Tonight, I'm probably going to be staying up so I think I might write yours by hand and then type it out. :)

Love you,

Meera😳

Originally posted by: blackdaughter
Are wah! That was so well written Shabz!!! *thumbs up* Thanks Madz! :)

It was a very realistic senerio and i love how you included Mayank, Radz AND Nupur in somehow!!!!! Great one!!Y'know what it was realistic? Cuz it's a real story. :P:P

I love discriptions with long hair!! They make me so happy!!!! 😆 Bhav is so funny, perfect song choice!!!! Bechare Mayank and Radz!! Dono lattu!!! 🤣 Do you by any chance have long hair? LOL - yup - both goners.

Lovely one-shot! I'm sure Radz loved it!! I certainly did! 😃Thanks Maddy!

Love you! *hug* back atcha! :)

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Meera

@indiandoll89

Trailblazer

+ 3

Posted: 16 years ago

#220

You're crazy Shabo...that's not ALL I'm asking for..😆 I love reading your writing in general! 😳 and long hair is awesome! 😛 cept when you gotta straighten, which of course you don't need to worry about *narrows eyes*

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