Ok, you've created a monster....thanks to all your wonderfully encouraging responses to my one and only mini FF.
This one's quite dated..I wrote it for the karva chauth episode but was too shy and embarrassed to post it. But I found the courage to do so now after the reponse I got for my last post....hope u like this one as well....but u don't have to!😃..but do give me ur honest opinions
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The moon had risen long ago and the guests had gone. Prachi looked at the full moon with blurred eyes. Of course, Milind hadn't come and she wasn't expecting him to either. Still, somehow, she couldn't make herself leave the terrace. Her mother had tried to persuade her to come down. Baba had given up long ago. Indeed, he was quite angry with her for waiting for someone who was not likely to come.
Her head was beginning to ache and throat was parched. She fel t a little dizzy and nauseous. She put it down to the fast. She wasn't going tobreak it, she was determined. Not because she was adamant and was trying to prove a point but because she believed in this ritual and any mistake on her part would affect Milind's life. As it was, she'd heaped enough misery on him. She didn't want to endanger his life as well. So, if it meant waiting all night and till next morning to break her fast, she would do it. Neither her mother's pleas nor her father-in-law's silent disapproval was going to deter her.
The moon and the dark silence kept her company. It was comforting yet lonely. She envisioned such a life ahead of her. After hearing that terrible hatred for her in Milind's voice last night, she knew there was little or no hope of rectifying the situation that she had created. But, what could she do? She just couldn't hurt his family. Milind was hurting, she knew but the hurt he would feel if he knew the truth about Sukriti…..that would never be healed.
It was about nine o'clock at Panchmehswar. He had rescued the deal with some tough talking with his erstwhile partners. He ought to have felt happy and victorious but he just couldn't summon those feelings. The last time he felt these emotions was the night he and Prachi.....He quelled the thought swiftly. He wouldn't go there.
H elooked around for Ayesha. Where the heck was she? She'd disappeared in the middle of his discussions with the Jinganis. He was dog tired. He reaslised that he hadn't slept properly for days now. He couldn't face another long drive back to Mumbai, especially in the dark and with a bitter Ayesha by his side. Actually, come to think of it, why was she with him? This was his deal which he was virtually taking away from her company. He shook his head in puzzlement. These days, he was a very bewildered person. He didn't know what was real anymore.
He could have sworn on his life that Prachi had all the virtues and principles expected of Premlata and Inder Shah's daughter. The night they'd spent together 3 weeks ago, was the most memorable in his life. It was as though all his dreams had come together and he had held the moon, the stars and the whole universe in his arms. Prachi had felt the same or so he thought. It had been the first time for her, he'd believed. The wonderment he'd seen in her eyes was testimony to that. He wouldn't have believed the baby was hers if someone else had told him because he knew better. It just wasn't possible. But hearing it from Prachi herself had put paid to any hope. Why would a new bride claim to be the mother of an illegitimate baby and hurt her marriage in the process if it weren't true?
He couldn't think anymore. He looked around the lobby for Ayesha. His stomach suddenly grumbled reminding him that he hadn't eaten or had a sip of water all day. That was strange. He couldn't think why it was so. He hadn't wanted to come downstairs to eat breakfast as he just wasn't capable of putting on an act in front of his father. Prachi had stopped the practice of bringing his breakfast to their bedroom. For the last few days it had been Ayesha. H e couldn't recall her doing so this morning. There was so much on his mind that he'd forgotten to eat.
"I have to get back home quickly or my wife will have my head for dinner, karva chauth or no karva chauth!' exclaimed a man in a black suit striding out of the lift. His companion laughed, 'Thank god, I'm not married!"
Milind drew in a harsh breath. Karva chauth? Wasn't that the ceremony some women followed for the well being of their husbands? Had she kept it too? He suddenly remembered all that activity around the house this morning. Were they preparing for the ceremony? He'd deliberately turned a deaf ear and a blind eye to his surroundings as he'd left the house this morning. Come to think of it, he'd heard dadi calling out to him but had pretended not to hear. He just couldn't go through another meaningless pooja, he remembered thinking as he'd hurried out of the house.
He checked his phone for missed calls. There weren't any. She would surely keep a fast; if for nothing else than to fool his father. He looked at the time. It was close to half past nine. Long past the time for the moon to rise. Was she fasting? God, he hoped not! She must be very hungry now, he thought. 'Why the hell should I care? It' s not as if she's doing it for me." Yet, the thought of her hungry and thirsty plagued his mind, hate her though he did. He was undecided. Should I stay or go? His instincts told him to drive back home though his body protested at the thought. But he had to make up his mind now. Knowing Prachi and her penchant for nautanki, she would be pretending to be the ideal bride. And his father, besotted by her just as he , Milind , had been until now, would have bought the act. Heck, baba must be wondering where he was. Why hadn't he called? Just then, the import of it hit him. Baba was angry with him. And if he, Milind wasn't there to do his bit, baba wasn't likely to forgive him for a long time. Baba couldn't see his sweet bahu suffer and Milind couldn't bear to see his father in pain. So, the matter was decided. He didn't wait around for Ayesha. He just didn't have the time. It would take him at least four hours to reach Mumbai . He quickly got into his car and drove towards his destination.
Prachi didn't know when sleep hit her. She woke up to the cold around her. She didn't know what time it was. But she could bet it was pretty late. Even the famous late night Mumbai traffic had stemmed a bit. She was still on the terrace. She shivered in the cold. Her legs seemed to have gone to sleep. As she got up to stretch them, her head began to spin. She lost her footing and felt herself falling to the ground. Everything turned black and she knew no more.
She regained consciousness a few seconds later to find strong arms around and a frightened voice whispering her name in her ears. "Milind?" she gasped. For, it did sound like him. But quite unlike the voice he'd been using on her lately. This was someone who'd received a shock. The strong arms around her were trembling. She looked up and gave him a tremulous smile. Immediately, he grasped the copper cup filled with water which stood on the pooja thali and placed it against her lips. Prachi took a swallow and mentally smiled at the irony of it all. He did come. He did his duty by his wife. He was there to break her fast. She wondered fleetingly where Ayesha was. But, she didn't find any pleasure in her victory-by-default.
Milind's heart was beating so fast it was a wonder the resounding sound hadn't woken up the household. He'd broken all speed limits and missed getting speeding tickets to reach home. The house had been in darkness but something had told him to go to the terrace. He was glad that he did. Just as he'd reached it, he'd seen Prachi rising and about to fall. He'd reached her just in time.
He looked down at her now and realized to his dismay that she'd fainted again. He scooped her up in his arms and raced down the stairs . By now, the lights had come on and his mother-in-law was running towards him. Together, they rushed to his bedroom. Tenderly, he laid his burden on the bed and called the family doctor.
"She hasn't eaten the whole day, Milind. She was waiting for you," Premlata said rather brusquely. Noting his worried expression, her expression softened. 'Don't worry, beta, she's just tired and also ziddi."
"Tum ne kuch khaya? Tumne to nasta bhi nahi ki aaj. Mein kuch le au?" He shook his head distractedly. He hadn't taken his eyes off his wife for a minute. He was rubbing her palms anxiously, calling her name repeatedly. Premlata felt that it was a private moment and left him to it to wait for the doctor downstairs .
Milind's hand went involuntarily towards Prachi's face. He looked at her intently. He realized that he couldn't hate her. In fact, he admitted, that he never did. Even in the midst of Prachi's shocking revelation and her unmasking, the pain he'd felt, especially at the physical abuse he'd heaped on her hurt him as much. He couldn't hate her even if he wanted to. She was too precious. He would make it work, this marriage that had come to mean to him more than anything else in the world. He would accept Ritwick as his son…not because it was the right thing to do but solely because try as he might, he couldn't hate the little tyke. Something about him drew him to the little fellow. It felt as though he was his own, somehow. He put it down to his love for Prachi. It was so strong that anything to do with her enmeshed him in a tangle of emotions.
H e started at the knock on the door. Premlata escorted the lady doctor in. Milind got up immediately and stood aside. "Doctor, please dekhiye, Prachi ko kya hua. Abi thak wo hosh mein nehi ayi," Milind burst out.
"Don't worry Mr Mishra. Usko thakan hui hogi. Just leave me with her for a few moments and I'll get back to you," the doctor replied gently. Just then, Prachi stirred and opened her eyes. She looked around her bemusedly and stopped short at the sight of a very dishevelled Milind. Her eyes immediately looked down and away. Milind shut his eyes in pain. She was completely conscious now. She was aware of her surroundings and it was obvious from her demeanor that her defenses were up. The sweet , smile she had given him up on the terrace was a thing of the past. The doctor nodded at him reassuringly. He turned and walked out the door dejectedly, closing it behind him.
"Now then, young lady, what have you been up to? No food and water the whole day, huh?" Dr Meera Sahi joked. She'd known the Shah family for so long that she could afford to joke around with its members, especially the younger ones. Although, the newest one did intimidate her a bit. But it was clear how much he loved his lovely wife.
Dr Sahi then proceeded to ask Prachi some pertinent questions and then on a hunch gave her a physical check up. Prachi bore the discomfort with patience. The doctor looked at her meaningfully and broke into a smile. "Congratulations, Prachi. All things indicate that you're pregnant. Of course, I'd have to conduct the usual tests but I'm almost hundred per cent sure that you are. Now, I'll call your very worried husband in and give him the happy news."
Prachi barely heard the rest of the doctor's words. Her heart was beating with joy. Pregnant? She broke into a huge, joyous smile. Then, her smile died as it hit her. She couldn't let Milind know…at least not yet. He was bound to think the worst. He'd never believe that it was his child. Things between Neev and him would get worse. Suddenly, Prachi felt that the world had ended for her. What should have been the most delightful news for a woman, had turned to ashes for her. She couldn't share this news with her baby's father or anyone else at home for that matter.
"Doctor, " Prachi said softly. "Ap se ek darkwasth hai. Please, Milind ko aap kucch math kahiye. Mein ye khabar khud unhe de doongi. Par abhi kissi se kuch math kehna. Bas itna kahe lijiye ke mera haalath thakan aur bhuk se hui. Please?"
Dr Sahi studied the rather woebegone face before her and wondered what was wrong between the couple. However, wise woman that she was, she decided to keep her own counsel and nodded her head. When she stepped into the corridor, she was confronted by the whole family looking rather anxious. The young husband was the first to come forward and ask after his wife. She told them what she was asked to say and left.
Prachi looked up as the door opened and Milind strode in. He closed it behind him and walked towards the bed. He stood at the foot and looked down at her searchingly. "Tu ab kaisi ho? Us doctor ne kaha ki …."
"Hai bhuk aur thakan ke wajae se mujhe chakkar aai. Ab mei thik hu. Aap ne kuch khaya?" Prachi asked.
"Mein? Mein…haan…" Prachi knew he was lying but decided to let it pass. Milind turned towards the cupboard , took out his night clothes and went into the bathroom. She lay there, still trying to take in the unexpected news. She touched her stomach and murmured," Baby, koye baat nahi. Papa ko mein tumahre bary bathaugi….par abhi nahi. Tum samajte ho na? Tumhe pata hai, tumhare papa… bahut acche hai, bahut pyare hai. Tere sapna wo kab se dekh rehe hai. Tere intazaar mein unhone abhse tumhere kamra sajhake rakha hai."
The bedroom door opened all of a sudden, jolting Prachi out of her fond reverie. Neev walked in and sat beside her on the bed. Prachi looked worriedly towards the bathroom. "How are you? Mein ne suna ki tum behosh ho agi thi. Tum thik ho na?" he asked. She began to twist the bedclothes in nervous reaction, an old habit of hers that took over under extreme circumstances. Neev, knowing her so well, immediately recognized her agitation. "What's wrong? Kyun itni nervous ho? Thuje yaad hai, jab tu kiisi baat par dar jati ho ya mujse kuch chupana chati thi tho tum issi tarah apni kapde ko twist karti thi."
"Neev, tum please yahan se chale jao," Prachi whispered in desperation. She didn't want a confrontation now. God knew what would happen if Milind came in. "Pur kyon Prachi? Don't I even have the right to see you when you aren't well?" Neev replied angrily. Prachi placed her hand on Neev's arm and pleaded once again. Just then, she heard the bathroom door open and waited for the inevitable to happen. She looked up at her husband, expecting to see a thunder cloud. But, Milind stood there expressionless. Prachi didn't know which she preferred.
Neev turned around and saw Milind standing there. "Oh! That's why you were so nervous. I knew something was worrying you. That nervous gesture always gave you away. Remember when Varun wanted to know……" "Neev, just leave," Prachi urged softly. He shrugged his shoulders, gave Milind a sly smile and left leaving a pregnant silence behind him.
Milind had heard the conversation between them as the bathroom door hadn't been fully shut. He'd stood there wondering how he never knew that much about his wife….about her little idiosyncrasies that every husband knows about his woman. What got his craw was the realization that Neev knew her inside out. Now, he walked toward her and sat exactly where Neev had a few minutes ago.
"So, he couldn't wait to see you." He couldn't help himself. Whenever he saw them together, his jealousy rose like bile inside him. He knew it was wrong. But the knowledge that Neev knew her better and longer than he did just didn't sit well with him. He lifted her hand and held it in his tightly. He stared at her beautiful though tired face for a long while. Then he lifted a trembling hand to her face and touched her cheeks. "So soft, so smooth. Your eyes are so beautiful that everytime I look into them I lose myself there. And those lips," he whispered, tracing the soft lines with his fingers, "those lips so perfect, hiding the most beautiful smile on earth….." Prachi gazed back at him mesmerized. She became lost in his eyes and for a few blissful moments it felt as if everything was right between them. Then, without a warning, Milind squeezed her cheeks hard and cried, "Par sab jhut hai. Ye hotto se kitni jhute vadhe nikli. In akho ne kitni jhute sapane dikhaye. Kyun Prachi, Intne dhoka muje kyun dhiye? Mein ne tera kya bigada tha? Mera kusur kya tha? Sirf thuje pyar karne ka? Useki intni badi keemath….." he cried hoarsely.
Prachi stared at him in dismay. She hated herself then more than she ever did before. All through the lie that she had perpetrated, she knew the pain she was causing him and herself. And, the only thought that got her through her worst moments was the conviction that she was doing it for a greater good. …the good of his family, the health of his father and the happiness of his sister. Somewhere along the way, however, she had failed to see the toll this was taking on him and his self respect. She hadn't ever guessed at the depth of his love for her. She now knew that it was measured by the hatred he felt for. Never in her wildest dreams did she think that anyone, Milind least of all, would feel so deeply about her. She had miscalculated and miscalculated badly. The pain and desperation in his eyes were too much to take. They seemed like accusations directed at her. She was unable to meet his eyes. She looked down at her hand still clutched in his. He was staring down at her, hoping for a reassuring answer. He watched in expectation as her free hand rose towards his. It came down slowly as if to touch him. Instead, she pushed his hand aside roughly, jumped out of the bed and ran towards the bathroom with her hand across her mouth. He watched dazed with shock as she brushed past him.
Prachi made it to the wash bowl just in time. She threw up till nothing was left. In the bedroom, Milind sat unmoving, turned to stone, his mind seething with unwanted thoughts. Prachi looked at herself in the mirror and was shocked to see the pale , drawn face staring back at her. Her red saree looked garish in comparison. She couldn't even begin to wonder what Milind must have made of all this. She had felt the nausea rising inside her and short of vomiting all over him, she'd had to push him roughly to get away before she'd embarrassed herself.
She walked back slowly, still unsteady on her feet. Milind was sitting on the floor, his forehead in his hand, a picture of utter defeat. He looked up slowly as she stood in front of him. The look in his eyes nearly killed her. There was such misery and self loathing there. He gazed at her for a few seconds and then she heard him whisper, " Bardsaht nahi hoti hai na…mein tujhe chuaa, ye tuje bilkul bardasht nahi hoti. Isi liye tu ne …" he couldn't complete the sentence.
It was then that it struck her how her actions were interpreted! He thought that his touch had made her sick. She couldn't believe it. She reached out to him in denial. But he thrust her hand away, and, with an unaccustomed lack of grace, got up and strode out of the room. Prachi put her arms across her stomach as if to protect the budding life within her and slowly fell on her knees. Her head bent down with the weight of her sorrow and inability to set things right. She wept inconsolably. She didn't know how long she stayed there till the sound of a car revving up outside broke into her consciousness. She pushed herself up clumsily and ran towards the balcony in time to see Milind's car racing out of the compound like a bat out of hell. She stood there staring after it, praying that nothing untoward would happen to him.
Shiv Shakti
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