70 THINGS IN A HINDI SERIAL

I'm talking about the Family Drama serials transmitted in Star Plus, Star One, Zee TV, SAB, Sony and Sahara One. I'm now listing what the all serials have in common. Here it goes:

1. One man can kick the butts of 6 gangsters. Especially when they all stand in a circle and attack the guy one by one. Then when each of them get their butts owned, they wise up and attack the guy at the same time. Then the guy will get pulverized and bleed out onto the dusty of the empty warehouse they've found to fight in. There will be a fire in a trashcan somewhere. And the girl will have watched this the entire time, screaming in horror. Instead of calling 911, she'll just watch and cry. But it's okay. Because the next day the guy will be fine with a few random and a few face scars. But never a black eye.

2. There is always a time where two (or more even) people are looking for each other in a small area of the same mall and they keep roaming around in circles and pass each other about six times, but miraculously never see each other.

3. Everyone always goes to the same hospital no matter where they are.

4. People meet at restaurants but never order anything. If food is already present, it is NEVER eaten and the bill is never paid, you just get up and leave.

5. Women sleep and wake up with a full set of makeup on.

6. If you have a best guy friend, he is in love with you. And secretly you are too.

7. Nobody ever dies a natural death. No body is ever recovered!

8. If a body is recovered it is burnt beyond recognition.

9. If a person is considered dead, they most definitely return, with not only their face changed, but also their height, weight, EVERYTHING.

10. If a couple can't have kids it is always because the woman can't conceive and never the man!

11. Adoption is never an option!

12. The surrogate mother is usually a close family member.

13. Surrogate mothers never leave after birth of baby, they eventually take over the house, the husband and the wife is kicked out of the house.

14. There is no code of ethics for doctors, and the police, they will lie for even a little amount of money.

15. DNA reports are always switched and never correct

16. The villain or vamp has super hearing, and can hear other's conversations, through walls, across a hall full of ppl at a busy party, from a different table in a restaurant, heck they can even listen to other ppl when the other person is not even talking but thinking!

17. Whenever someone is being chased by gangsters, they will run from a busy street into a place that is completely abandoned and empty.

18. Women are always dressed like they are going to a party, but when it is time for them to leave the house they are always told to get ready! "jao tyaar ho jao"

19. ALL the men at some point have an affair.

20. Every time something big is revealed, the camera must flash on each and every characters face, at least 3 times...heck the camera will flash on faces even when someone just enters a room.

21. If you are poor, you are an angel

22. If you are rich, you are a brat

23. Every family has a female character who wants to ruin the family and take over everything.

24. These female characters also have their own special evil background music for everytime they make an entry or say something.

25. When something totally unexpected happens, like someone dies or actually confess their love it is always a dream!

26. And if it not a dream when the confess their love but acutal reality, the couple are in a bad situation, like the girl is about to get married.

27. Just as someone is about to get caught red handed, the person about to catch them moves slower and slower, giving them enough time to flee.

28. At this time, the background music also gets louder and louder, causing the viewers to actually put the TV on mute, cuz the music just gets annoying.

29. When it comes to some important phone call or some important documents, it always the villian who answers or get the documents.

30. No matter how many times a person has been cheated, they never learn and always sign the papers without reading them first. Even when warned by the villian themselves.

31. All cars break down at night time, on a lonely street.

32. If the hero or heroine get some strong proof again the villian are about to expose them, they first go and tell the villian about it, giving them a chance to run or destroy the proof.

33. The villian will keep talking and talking and blaming the hero or heroine and everyone will be quiet and listen.

34. The hero or heroine will keep repeating "meri baat suno" wasting their time instead of actually saying what they have to.

35. When they do finally come down to saying what they have to, no one will be listening.

36. You always fall in love with someone you shouldn't

37. But here is no point in falling in love cuz you end marrying some one else

38. When you finally fall in love with your husband, your first love comes back into your life...to create problems of course.

39. Trust NO ONE!...even your own sister is after your husband!

40. Love NO ONE!...even your own husband is having an affair with your sister!

41. All the character use garnier, Loreal, etc.. the hair color.

42. There is usually a Dadaji(grandfather) or dadima(Grandmother) or both in there.

43. The elder persons usually the dadas and dadis never die. If we calculate their age its likely 2 be 150yrs Min.

44. 98% of the families is as rich as Ambani ,TATA or Birla.

45. Every successful businessperson gains the profit of more than Rs.300 crore. OK. They don't play in millions. They play in TRILLIANS!

46. Despite being the rich family, they don't ever rent a servant! Then the members wearing expensive jewelries and Rs10000 Sarees cook food wash the dishes and clothes!

47. 99.98% of all the characters are as fair as a fairy; not even wheatish.

48. There is always a saans and a bahu cooking the khichdi.

49. Every Leading actress is beautiful enough 2 win Miss India.

50. Every Youth person there styles his hairstyle. There is no simple hairstyle. If there exists one then the person having the one (One out of 100) is a fool as symbolized in the play.

51. 95% of the characters are having extra affairs.

52. 70% of the lead actresses married more than once.

53. There is always a CONSPIRACY THEORY going on in every episode.

54. Every person (99 outta 100) wears Sherwani on special occasions.

55. Every person has got a car.

56. Nobody dies in the serial. If anything so happens he/she is likely 2 returns in future 2 create ugly problems.

57. There is a slow Motion Camera moving half of the time of the serial length.

58. Nobody gets old or the skin gets wrinkled. Even the character that gets old looks like his/her son/daughter's older bro/sis. Oops!

59. Every male wears coat-ties or suits at home also. The youth ones wear jeans even at the time of sleeping.

60. If by chance there exists any middleclass family (generally girls) the girl/boy falls in love with a member of a rich family.

61. There is a song in most of the happy ceremonies in which a lead character sings a song in tune of a recent bollywood flick along with ONLY other family members including the 200yrs aged Grandpa. The other persons only smile and swing their body in-accordance with the lead singer n dancer.

62. No character in the serials gets drenched in sweat, loses his hairstyle, fades his/her skin color in sunlight or after hard work.

63. The lead actress teaches a lesson every 2nd episode. Hhmmm...

64. Every lead character has met with an accident.

65. Most of the lead actress has a doublet.

66. There always a new person wicked as hell, takes entry and plays a vital role. The same character once disappears never returns back after getting dosed from the Lead Role Models.

67. If somebody gets slapped others look into his/her faces for an hour and gets amazed.

68. There is no happy family.

69. These serials can never have a 2nd part because these serials never END.

70. They are very fond of adopting babies. Most of them realize after 20 years that their son/daughter are not their own.