Thank you for your comments guys, really appreciate the feedback. And I know, JB are idiots, but what can you do about it?😕😆 Enjoy. 😃
Chapter 34
"Dheko Beji, mera beta wapas ghar agya," Bani hears Mausi's emotional voice ring through the hallway. She listens onto the conversation intently as she nears closer to the living room. "Kahan tha tum Pushkar? Bina kuch baatiye tu chalegya? Gharwale ko bhi nahi bataaya. Arre sharam khar, yahan tumhari mausi din par tumhare liye thaares gaye aur tu kahin hor gumara tha. Ek phone call to karna chaaye tha."
(trans: Look Beji, my son has come back home. Where were you Pushkar? You left without saying anything. You didn't even tell anyone at home. Have some shame, here your mausi was pining for you each day and you were somewhere else roaming around. You should have at least called.) "Mujhe maaf kardo Mausi, aaj ke baad phir kabhi nahi kaaronga... aapki kasamh," Pushkar replies back sincerely while pulling back from Mausi's embracing arms. He smiles faintly at her, hoping to cover up his mistake with it. However, Mausi remains slightly grim.
Mausi: Paar tu kahan gaaya?
(trans: But where did you go?) This is where Bani intervenes, "Pushkar!" Her friend turns around on the mention of his name and his face twists in anguish on the sight of her. He immediately lowers his eyes away as Bani approaches him quickly.
Bani: Pushkar.... Tum aagae? (relief in her voice)
(trans: Pushkar... you've here) Pushkar: (still avoiding her gaze, slowly answers) Hain....
Bani notices his discomfort by her presence but continues to keep the welcoming smile on her face, wanting him to feel reassured in coming back home.
Bani: (making conversation, hesitant) Hum saabne tumhe baut yaad kiya.... Accha hai ke tum wapas aaye .... Kaise ho tum?
(trans: We all have missed you. It is good that you have come back. How are you?) Pushkar: (distant) Teek hoon....
(trans: Fine.) Mausi notices Pushkar avoiding Bani's eyes and the awkward aura surrounding them-- she speaks up on the matter.
Mausi: Arre tumhari Bhabhi ke nazaar to milo.... Tum to aise behave khar rahe hai ho jaise tumne koi gunna kiya.... (giggles, wanting to lighten up the mood)
(trans: At least meet your bhabhi
s eyes' you are behaving as if you are guilty of something.) *************************************************************
Jai's insides scream in anger and anguish as his eyes settle on the slim figure of a young boy who had been very dear to him long ago. The boy who he had accepted as his brother and son. The one who he provided for and protected. The very one who stabbed him in the back and ran off like a coward, never looking back once. Folding his hands into fists, Jai slams his knuckles onto the railing in frustration and turns around, stalking off towards his room---the image of Pushkar creating havoc in his system.
Jai's shoulders tense as he stands in the center of his bedroom, not knowing what to do nor how to properly react to the situation. He hears approaching footsteps and the sound of a slight closing of the door behind him. He shuts his eyes and speaks in a warning tone, "Jigyasa... please don't."
Jigyasa: Bhaiya... please hear me out. You mustn't run away from your problems like this. Creating distance between you and Pushkar is not going to solve anything, in fact, it will only make matters worse. You cannot avoid confrontation with him.
Jai: (detest in his voice, overcoming the inner pain) The very sight of him repulses me. I have nothing to do with that low filth. I should have let him alone where he belonged....on the streets. After all, trash is only trash.
Jai looks behind on the touch of his sister's comforting hand on his shoulder. He's surprised to see her gentle face calm and a small ironic smile playing on her lips.
Jigyasa: Those words are more likely to come out from my mouth... but never from yours. You know as much as I do that those are lies. ... I can see that even today you love Pushkar just as before.... You cover the great depth of pain wallowing inside of you with anger.
Jai shrugs her hand off and takes a step aside.
Jai: The only thing inside of me is anger Jigyasa..... A great deal of anger.
Jigyasa: Yes, but anger that can vanish if you just learn to forgive.
Jai: (scoffs) Forgive? --- You are telling me to forgive the one responsible for humiliating your own brother? For breaking my trust?--- Now making it difficult for me to trust any other human being again? Who has replaced the Jigyasa that I know with Mother Theresa? --- The only one who could understand my pain and troubles?
Jigyasa: She is still here Bhaiya... but she has learned to see now. And what she sees is that anger and hate will only destroy you.
Jai: (exasperated) He ruined my life!
Jigyasa: .... You would think that, but in reality he has saved you....by giving you life.
Jai: (disbelief) Saved me? Saved me how? What are you trying to say Jigyasa?
Jigyasa: Bhaiya, if Pushkar hadn't betrayed you by running off with Pia, your marriage with Bani Bhabhi wouldn't have happened at all and today we would not even be having this conversation... nor would I see how your life has taken such a turn about.... filled with happiness that you were never able to have before.
"Your marriage with Bani Bhabhi wouldn't have happened at all...," her words echo within his already troubled mind. He blanks out for a moment, forgetting his anger and deception, only dwelling on this thought. He obviously didn't think thoroughly through the impact that Pushkar's betrayal has had on his life. All he ever thought of was that he had broken his trust.
Jigyasa: Bhaiya.... I used to think that you are a very happy man... You are the richest millionaire in Mumbai.... You have everything accessible to you.... All your wants and needs are fulfilled without any difficulty.... But after your marriage to Bhabhi, I have finally noticed the burdening loneliness that used to surround you.... a hidden sorrow..... a big void in your life. A void that Bhabhi had slowly started to fill. .... Bhaiya, I can no longer see that void present today. It has vanished with the presence of Bani Bhabhi in your life. ... And she wouldn't be here today, wearing a mangulsutra and sindoor in your name, with the status of being your wife if it weren't for Pushkar.... Pia would have been in her place instead.
Jai's eyes meet Jigyasa's exactly when she speaks her final words as the subtle thunder from outside fills in the hollow silence that has been created.
Jigyasa: (slowly adds) And I think we both know what the outcome of that would have been.
Jai raises a hand to his head, feeling a throbbing headache coming along just even thinking about being married to anyone else other than Bani. He shakes his head, clearing his thoughts, and brings himself back on track.
Jai: That does not change the fact that he had betrayed me.... And I will not forgive him so easily.
Letting his words linger as an effect, he walks out from the room with a fire raging inside of him, determined to face Pushkar as a man instead of a coward that he had chosen to be.....
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Bani's face becomes downcast on Mausi's words while Pushkar grows even more uncomfortable than before. She catches Mausi's cautious expression and hastily covers up by lightly giggling along with her, not wanting Mausi to get any hint of matters unknown to her.
Bani: Mausi, shayad woh mujhse se daarta hai... maine kahin bhaar usko daanta tha ke woh achank ghar chorke kyon chaalegya...
(trans: Mausi, perhaps he is scared of me. I have scolded him many times of why he suddenly left home.) Mausi: (satisfied by her response) Tumne accha kiya Bahu. Issko kuch tameez seekaho.... baut bigargya...
(trans: You did the right thing Bahu. Teach this boy some manners' he has become very distraught.) Bani: (smiling politely) Ji.
Pushkar: Mausi... (whining a little)
Mausi: Kya Mausi? Tumhari Mausi to saach kaehri hoon, haina? Aab tum yahan khare khare kya khar rahe ho? Jao aur saab ko milo--- maafi bhi mangna... par phele Bhabhi ke paair choon...
(trans: What Mausi? Your Mausi is telling the truth, right? Now what are you doing here just standing around? Go and meet everyone--- and ask for their forgiveness' But first pay your respects to your Bhabhi.)
Both Bani and Pushkar glance at each other at this, feeling the situation becoming even more awkward by the second.
Mausi: (not seeing him move, starts to explain) Pushkar, yeh tumhara bhara Bhai ke paatni hai.... joh izaat tum tumhara Bhai ko daate ho, woh bhi tum tumhari Bhabhi ko daena paredga....
(trans: Pushkar, she is your older brother's wife' The respect that you give to your brother, you must give to your sister-in-law as well.) Bani watches him hesitantly walk towards her after a few pondering moments, still refusing to meet her eyes, and lower down--reaching for her feet. Shocked beyond words by this gesture, she immediately steps back, not letting him do so.
Bani: Pushkar, yeh tum kya karnewala tha? You should not touch my feet. ---- Mausi, main umaar mein choti hoon. He does not need to pay respects to me because he is older.
(trans: Pushkar, what were you just about to do? Mausi, I am much younger than him.) Mausi: Bahu, perhaps you are right about being younger, but in relation you are much older than him. You are his brother's wife and you should receive the same amount of respect that he gives to Munna.
Without a single word, Pushkar leans forward and touches Bani's feet, paying his respects to her as an elder. Bani embarrassingly stays in place, not knowing what to make out of this.
Pushkar: (nervously) Mausi.... kya--- ... kya Bhaiya ghar hai?
(trans: Mausi' is' is Bhaiya home?) Mausi: (smiles fondly) Hain.... woh aabhi thak office ke liye nahi gaaya.... I am sure that on seeing you, he will be very happy. Akar tum to uska chota bhai ho--- uska ladla.
(trans: Yes' he hasn't left for the office yet. I am sure that on seeing you, he will be very happy. After all you are his younger brother' his favorite.) Pushkar's face seems to pale out of fright. Bani could tell that he was counting on him not being home, he does usually leave bright and early.
"Tha Mausi.... Aab nahin...," Jai's steady, cool tone cuts in. Confused about where his voice has come from, they search around for any sight of him. Bani catches him making his presence known, walking smoothly down the spiral staircase--reaching the main floor. Followed close behind him is his sister, who watches with anticipation of what is about to unfold. Pushkar seems to be in a dilemma of whether he should run for his life or stand up to Jai Walia, the man who has given him everything.
Dadi and Aditya who walk beside one another, enter into the area at that precise moment, catching Jai's words. They become startled by the image of Jai and Pushkar in the same room and halt.
Mausi, on seeing her Munna, walks towards him in excitement, not noticing a dangerous flame forming within his eyes--- one that his wife can see clearly too well though and worries her.
Mausi: Dehko Munna, kaun aaya hai... Tumhara chota bhai. Tumhara Pushkar... itaane meheno ke baad...
(trans: Look Munna, see who has come' Your younger brother' Your Pushkar' after so many months.) Jai: (keeping his steel exterior) Dekhara hoon Mausi... aur yakeen nahi karsakta... ke usko kaise himmat aaya wapas aanliye...
(trans: I am looking Mausi and cannot believe how he has dared to come back.) Mausi: (stunned) Munna? ....
Jai: Saab kuch kaarke woh wapas kaise aasakta? --- How is he able to stand before me and not feel shame?
(trans: After doing so much how can he come back?) Dadi: (speaking out soothingly) He is ashamed Puttar.... you can see it in his eyes. He is very ashamed of what he has done.
Pushkar lowers his face in hot shame and humiliation. Jai, however, refuses to see this.
Jai: (answering back to Dadi, outraged) If he had any shame, he would not come back here expecting us to take him back with open arms!
Pushkar looks up on this, showing everyone the glistening tears shining in his dark eyes. He shakes his head in refusal.
Pushkar: (choking over his words) Nahin Bhaiya.... I knew coming back wouldn't be easy.... but for how long would I have to hide from my family? .... I have come back for a possible acceptance of my sincere apologies.... to see everyone again....to face what I have run away from.... to set things right.
Jai: You were mistaken to come here then. You will not receive any forgiveness in this house. These doors are not open for you anymore. (acerbic tone)
Mausi: (appalled) Munna, that is enough!
Jai's face tightens as he remains standing, glowering at the young boy who he had raised across him.
Mausi: ..... I do not know the reason for Pushkar leaving in the first place.... nor do I know of the differences you two hold for each other... What I do know though is that you two are brothers and are both of my sons. And the both of you will remain here because this is your home.
Jai: Over my dead bo---
Mausi: Jai!....
Jai becomes silent once again, knowing he has really angered Mausi because she would only use his name in serious matters. A blanket of silence hovers over all of them until Jai finally speaks, bringing the uneasiness out of everyone's hearts to a stop.
Jai: Teek hai.... jaise aap chaate hai Mausi.... yeh yahan raasakta.... Paar aap umeed maat kijiye ke main isko maaf karonga...
(trans: Fine' whatever you wish Mausi' he can stay here' But do not hold hopes that I will forgive him.) Looking squarely back over at Pushkar, who feels as if he has been slapped in the face, Jai speaks his next words in a thundering tone....
Jai: Kyon ki woh bilkul namunkin hai...
(trans: Because that is absolutely impossible.) As Jai storms off away from the living room, Mausi watches his retreating figure and desperately calls after him only to be responded by silence. Her eyes lower in sadness and then turn to Pushkar, who has conflicting emotions occupying his face.
Mausi: (softly) Pushkar.... beta, tum aapne kamre mein jao.... aur settled hojao.... wahan main tumhare liye naashta laake aati hoon....
(trans: Pushkar' son, you go to your room and settle in' I will bring you your breakfast there.) Pushkar mutely nods and pulls his bag's straps over his shoulder and just as he heaves it up from the ground, he catches the distant image of his wife staring at him behind a white column. Before he even has the chance to react by this, she wanders off quickly on being seen....
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As Bani dries her wet hair with a towel in her hands, the previous scene from downstairs flutters through her mind. She consciously walks out from the bathroom and into the bedroom in which her husband also occupies. From the corner of her eye she sees him freshly dressed once again and buttoning the cuffs to his sleeves. She bites on her lower lip and debates to herself whether she should speak on the matter. After a few moments of hesitation, she sets the towel aside and turns around, facing him...
Bani: Kya aap saach mein Pushkar ko maaf nahin kaarsakte?
(trans: Can you really not forgiven Pushkar?) Jai, surprised on hearing her voice, turns and looks back over to with an inquiring look. This would be the first time that they are actually speaking to each other ever since that night.
Bani: Kya yeh aap keliye mushkil hai?
(trans: Is this impossible for you?) Jai removes his gaze from her and back over to his sleeves, which he finishes in buttoning up. He grabs his coat and as he slides in his arms, he curtly answers her questions.
Jai: Hain....
Bani: (disbelief, desperate) Paar kyon?
Jai adjusts his coat and looks ahead of him while replying back to her.
Jai: Bani.... It is not about the matter of running away after deceiving me,..... It is about the trust and faith that I held for him that he has broken. ..... I can never trust him again.
Meeting her eyes as he says this, Jai sends chills down Bani's spine from the iciness in his tone. She lowers her eyes in disappointment while Jai takes the chance to leave the room, abandoning Bani behind to ponder over her thoughts....
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Opening the door to his room, Pushkar slowly lets himself in and wanders around his old bedroom filled with good cherished memories. He gazes at the various pictures laying on his dresser and stares at one specifically. He takes it into his hands and runs his fingers over it fondly. The picture always had been one of his favorites--- Him on his graduation day, wearing a gown, and holding up his diploma in success with his brother's arm wrapped around him in a sideways hug, both of them smiling happily beside each other. Jai had been the happiest out of the two that day-- after all, Pushkar had completed his studies and was guaranteed a good future ahead of him.
But look at them now. Circumstances have gotten so bad that Jai even hates the sight of him. Pushkar sets the picture back down and gloomily sits on his made bed, which had always been a mess when he was here. He notices a layer of dust around his things....implying that no one has been in his room for a long time.... perhaps ever since the night of the wedding.
Pushkar still doesn't know why he hadn't told Jai about Pia. He never hesitated in telling his older brother anything. In fact, Jai was always the first to know about everything happening in his life. He would bore Jai with his drama for hours, until finally he would tell him to shut it and kick him out of his study. But why was it that he couldn't tell him about Pia? God knew how badly he wanted to, but every time he got around to telling him, the words would automatically die in his mouth whenever he saw him involved in the planning of his marriage to Pia. Pushkar knew that Jai only wanted to marry Pia because he was attracted to her and that she would be a perfect image to present to society-- when on the other hand, he himself truly wanted to be with her. Yes, falling in love in a week isn't very common and usually doesn't count as love to some people, but they were out of time. And Pushkar did not want to lose someone who could be his soul mate---hence, the two of them ran away and got married despite the consequences.
But Pushkar did not know that his marriage to Pia would become into such a disaster. As soon as money problems started to arrive, she suddenly became whiny, nagging, and inconsiderate. And one day he just couldn't handle the pressure and exploded. He had said some awful things to Pia that he didn't mean at all. And that slap..... That slap is the most that he regrets. Without even waiting for an explanation, she ran off with her things the very next day. He was unable to apologize to her and tell her that he truly loves her, despite her flaws. Bringing him back here, in his room in his old house.... to take his wife back.
Hearing a knock on his door brings Pushkar out of his deep trance and he calls out for the person to come in. He freezes as he sees Bani come in, now dressed in a different saree, wearing a soft, sympathetic smile on her face. Reminded all over again of the consequences of his actions, Pushkar becomes abashed and lowers his eyes in shame.
Bani: Pushkar.... (she says with uncertainty in her voice)
Pushkar: (his voice cracking) Bani.... don't..... don't come near me..... You should not even be here..... You shouldn't act so kind to me and pretend that I haven't hurt you in any way.... because I have. .... I have not only ruined Bhai's life but I have also ruined yours. I am the reason for your comprise marriage with Bhaiya... I have deprived you of a happy marriage that you deserve with a man you love.... I have taken away your liberty to make that decision.... I am the cause for your state Bani.... And I do not expect you to forgive me.
Bani: Nahi Pushkar.... (hastily)
Bani sits down besides her friend and comfortingly touches his shoulder.
Bani: Aise maat kaho.... I have no regrets in the situation that I am in now. I am just happy that my sister is married to the man she loves.
Pushkar stares up at Bani in disbelief. How can she act so understanding? Is she not angry at all? After all, it is because of him that she is living a life in sorrow.
Pushkar: You are not even a little angry with me for forcing you into an unwanted marriage with Bhaiya? A man whom you never thought of forming any relationship with before?
Yes, Bani had been..... but a very long time ago. Life had surprised her by the sudden fall for her unwanted husband. Now she cannot even imagine being away from him--- it hurts too much.
She is silent for a moment but then smiles sadly at him....
Bani: (softly) Shayad yeh saab meri kismaat mein liki thi....
(trans: Perhaps this was what destiny had in store for me.) Frustrated with her lack of anger towards him, Pushkar stands up from his bed and stares down at her.
Pushkar: Bullsh*t Bani.... Destiny has nothing to do with this. You know very well that this is all due to me. I am your culprit. Why do you not just accept this? A person cannot be so kind and forgiving Bani.... It's not humanlike....
Bani stands up on her feet as well, meeting him his gaze...
Bani: But it is human to err, is it not? .... And what you had done was a very natural thing... So why should I hold you accountable for it? .... Pushkar, I had forgiven you a long time ago.... I just wanted you and Pia to be happy.... What kind of best friend would I be if I were not happy for you instead?
Pushkar: A good one if you ask me. A normal one. I deceived you Bani.... I ran off with your sister without even telling you anything and left you behind to handle the consequences... You were blamed for something that I had done. .... And that was despicable of me to do.
Bani: I have no regrets....
Pushkar: Bani, you are no saint.... So please stop acting like one and be a human for a change. See the fault of mine in this situation. Be angry with me.
Bani doesn't know how to explain to Pushkar that she really isn't angry with him for anything that has happened, in fact, she's glad that he ran off with Pia, she's glad that she got married to Jai Walia as a consequence, she really has no regrets in her current life. How can she make him understand this?
Bani: Teek hai. If you want me to be angry, then I will be. I am angry with you for allowing your marriage fall apart like this. For upsetting my sister.... For breaking her heart..... For slapping her--- Something that I, her very own sister, has never done! .... And for telling her that your marriage to her was a mistake.... Now this I will hold you accountable for....
Bani sees how she has shaken Pushkar up on the mention of Pia. She sees him back away and sit down on his bed once again, burying his face into his hands. A long moment of silence surpasses them...
Pushkar: I'm sorry Bani.... I'm just so sorry for everything.... For being a horrible friend, a horrible brother, and a horrible husband....
Feeling his anguish, Bani joins him and soothingly puts her arm around him....
Bani: You are not horrible Pushkar.... You have just made some mistakes.... mistakes that you need to amend...
Pushkar: Bani..... I have tried...(looking up at her) I have tried in making Pia happy.... but it just proved to get too hard later on in our marriage....
Bani: You do not need to explain.... I understand.... Pia is a very difficult girl to please.... and trust me, I don't hold you entirely responsible for everything that has happened between you and her. She is not victim in this matter. I know that she must have hassled you in your share of bad times. Instead of being a pillar of strength, she became another problem.
Pushkar: .. But perhaps she was right in where she stood. I am unable to provide for her. I am a failure... I want to change that though. I want to change everything....I need to show her that I can do anything for her..... That I still love her... And....I need to regain Bhaiya's trust also....
Bani smiles in encouragement for his determination to make things right....
Bani: Aur tum bus dekhna... ke kaise Mr. Walia tujhko maaf kaaronge...
.(trans: And you just watch' how Mr. Walia forgives you.)Pushkar: (startled) Saach? .... Bani, you really think he will forgive him?
Bani: Kaise nahin karoonge? For how long will he remain angry with you? Besides, you are human just like everyone else.... People make mistakes... and we must learn to forgive them. He will understand this soon.
Pushkar: I hope so....
Another knock is heard on the door and the two stare over at Tony making his presence by the doorway.... Bani brings her arm back to her side and stands just as Tony enters, carrying in Pushkar's breakfast...
Tony: Pushkar Saab, aapka naashta.
Bani: Tony.... wahan table peh rakho .... aur jao dekho ke agar humara Saahil baba aab bhi sohreh hai... Usko Exam hai ek ghaanta mein...
(trans: Tony' place it over there on the table and then go see if our Saahil is still sleeping'He has an exam in an hour.) Tony: (bows his head) Ji Ma'am.
[ Bani had gone to wake up her snoozing nephew, only to be shooed away from the sleepy young boy that he does not need to be up until another hour. ] Satisfied in Tony leaving on her excuse, Bani also takes this as her queue to go....
Bani: Main chaalti hoon... paar agar tumko meri zaroort hai, main yahin haas paas hongi...
(trans: I'll take your leave' but if you need me, I'll be around'.) Pushkar comes near Bani and takes her hands in his, staring at her with hope.
Pushkar: But you do forgive me, right?
Bani: (smiles reassuringly) ... I already had.
Pushkar: (relieved, feeling somewhat better) .... Thanks Bani... Oops--- mera matlab... Bani Bhabhi...
Bani: Please Pushkar.... Hum phele dost hai... phir bhabhi aur devaar.... (trans: Please Pushkar' we are first friends' then sister and brother-in-law'. )
Pushkar: (smiles) Teek hai... joh tum chaate ho...
(trans: Fine' whatever you want.) Pushkar smiles gratefully at his best friend and releases her hands. Just as Bani turns and walks towards the door, she's stopped by a startling, unexpected question....
Pushkar: Bani.... kya tum Bhaiya ko pyaar kaarte ho?
(trans: Bani' Do you love Bhaiya?) Stunned by this, she turns around and meets his scrutinizing gaze.... She wonders how he had come up with that conclusion.... Had she given anything away? Was she too obvious?
Bani: Eat and get some rest Pushkar... In the mean time I will go and speak with Pia.... (she replies instead)
Bani leaves the room in a flash, answering Pushkar's question without having to. Pushkar smiles softly to himself, finding a little good in his mistake and not feeling as horrible as before....
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Edited by Indian_Goddess - 17 years ago
Anupamaa
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
