Relationships defined.
Bani sat in the bathroom praying that the pregnancy test she was waiting for was positive. She was shaking. Anxiety gripped her as she saw the little dipstick turning to a pale blue, and then dark. At that single moment she decided that not pink but blue was her favourite colour.
Her happiness was all consuming. This was a sign that she was finally, finally going to get some solace in her miserable life. One, she would save her beloved Ganga and have another child to love , and she would never have to see the Walia's ever again. (she hoped).
As she cleaned up the bathroom tears and relief overcame her. the torture was finally over.
She remembered in disgust how painful and humiliating it was to make love to Jai after so much that had happened between them. She felt dirty. An act that was supposed to be so full of love and feelings was turned into a mechanical union of bodies. She made no attempt to caress or be romantic with Jai. She was just doing what was required for a better good, nothing else. She showed no emotion at all, and when it was finally over, she asked him to leave immediately. She wondered if this was what prostitution felt like.
Jai was taken aback by the cold vibes that Bani displayed. He knew that being with him in such an intimate situation was torturous for her. He knew the circumstances that they were facing. Yet he hoped that she would feel something, anything for him. But there was nothing. She showed no response to his touch and caresses. The worst was when she told him to leave. If only she knew how right it felt to be with her. he longed to hold her longer, to sooth her jarred nerves to tell her everything was going to be just fine but nothing. Absolutely nothing.
She had made herself scarce. He had not seen her since that day, as she made it her point to avoid him. She shared no meals with the family nor partook in anything they did.
Bani, was like a ghost in the house. Not wanting to be seen or heard. Yet her mere presence pervaded the corridors of the house.
Jai's only solace was that Ganga was with them. Though weak at times, she had never failed to keep his spirits high. He wished that Bani would look at him just once and see the pain and regret in them But it was not to be.
One morning as he was passing her room he stopped. He could hear her sobs, and concern etched his face. On entering he found her to be locked in the bathroom. His heart tore. It was 4 weeks to the day that they had made love, and he feared that she was crying because the results were not good. He knew about the home pregnancy kit because Meera had told him about it. Not knowing what to do he sat on the edge of the bed, while she sobbed and he was helpless. When she finally emerged she was shocked to see him in her room. A fresh set of tears was threatening to fall, and she turned her back to him.
Again he felt that stab of rejection. Sighing he asked "is everything ok Bani?"
Still her back was to him. "yes Mr Walia, I am fine". In fact you need not worry any more, what we needed to do, we did and it is successful" she answered dejectedly.
"Bani, are YOU Ok?" Jai knew how ill she was for the twins and perhaps for Ganga too and was concerned about HER health.
Jai had mixed emotions. He was happy that they had conceived, that Ganga would have a chance of getting cured, that he would be a dad again, a father to a child that he and Bani had created, but he was also miserable because it meant that she would no longer be close to him. There would be no intimacy however strained it was, left between them.
" Mr Walia. I am fine. Don't worry about me, I won't let anything happen to this child…."
his temper rose, "what do you mean that I shouldn't worry about you Bani"?
do you think that I am so callous to not care about you? I know the difficulties that you had with your other pregnancies, he declared.
"Those concerns were different then" Mr Walia.
"how were they different Bani" please tell me he begged.
"Those children were created out of love, our love Mr Walia. It was in moments of passion that we conceived. Those children were waited upon eagerly by you and I. but this child, she went on. This child is created out of a necessity. We conceived this child because we had to. There were no emotions, there was no love between us.
In fact this was like your projects you deal with daily. You were efficient and successful". "don't get sentimental Mr Walia, you are wasting your time!
Jai was shocked. He had never known Bani to be so cold and unattached. She always loved kids, wanted them so badly, and yet.
" for God's sake Bani we are talking about a child. When did you become so cold and unfeeling, he implored.
She turned on him, anger flashing in her eyes, the tears still falling.
'when did I stop feeling Mr Walia? She asked incredulously.
"why ?, don't you know, she asked cynically. Let me refresh your memory then Mr Walia. It was the day you let me stop feeling like a human being. The day you stopped trusting me, the day you took my children away from me, the day you deceived me with Pia, the days you sided with Jigyasa and humiliated me. The day you questioned my integrity and honour. The day you threw me out of your house. And the day you replaced me in your heart and your home." The day you stopped loving me Mr Walia, she whispered.
Jai was alarmed. How had he managed to create so much of turmoil in this woman's life. Yes he was guilty of everything she accused him off, except one. He never stopped loving her.
When Jai got back from the office the following day, he found the house to be unusually quite. The normally bubbly Ganga was not waiting for him. Assuming that she was busy somewhere else, he went up to his room to change for dinner.
At dinner, the silence still continued. Meera was as usual fussing around Jai, much to his irritation. Jigyasa for some apparent reason was happier than usual. Adi was quite, so was Rano and Raashi. Dadi chose to take her meals in the room. It was only when Meera sat that he noticed there was no setting for Ganga and Tony was not making any attempt to take food up for Bani and Massi.
"where is Ganga, Meera", he asked.
"Ganga starts school today Jai, she answered not meeting his eyes. She's gone home.
"what do you mean she is gone home Meera, he shouted.
"look Jai, all I know is that Bani, Maasi and Ganga left this morning. Bani has to go back to work and Ganga wants to go back to school, " she mumbled.
He was livid. She did it again. Bani had freaking left again. Throwing his napkin on the table, he stormed to his study. The sound of the door slamming frightened them all.
Meera approached him shaking and trembling.
"why are you upset Jai?" wasn't that the agreement?'.
"what nonsense are you talking Meera, what agreement?"
That hurt Meera. She looked at him bewildered.
"jai wasn't it you who said that once Bani conceives you don't want her around. That you will see to her medical expenses, but not live here".
Jai was speechless. Yes he did say that, he said it when he was angry. he said that before he made love to Bani( yes for him it was making love not just sex, even if Bani thought otherwise). he said that when he realised that Bani invoked feelings in him that he had hidden deep within his desires. He felt like a man again.
Looking at him, Meera saw the naked truth. Jai wanted Bani and Ganga here.
In WM.
She was filled with sudden anger. This was too much. Jai was playing a double game with her. one minute he wanted nothing to do with Bani and the next he wanted her in his home, perhaps in his heart too she reasoned. So what was her purpose? Was she his wife?, she wasn't his keep, because he was not even intimate with her. for 5 years she waited for him to accept her, and today he had broken his own promise.
Jai did not even try to hide his guilt. Deep down in his heart he knew that it will always be Bani that he loved, Bani that he would pine for, and Bani that would fulfil his desires. He was a man conditioned to one woman, and that was Bani and there was no way he was ever going to ever let him forget it.
Never cheat or lie to the ones you love
If you must cheat; cheat death to be with them
and if you must lie; lie in their arms
He did not need to explain anything to anyone about his warped relationship with Bani, because with her it was more than just a relationship. Bani evoked the most intense feelings he ever had. Hate, passion, love, intimacy she had it all. She irked and irritated him. She pleased and annoyed him. He wanted to hate her and see her crumple in front of him, yet at the same time he wanted to take her in his arms and never let her go.
There was nothing left to say to Meera. From the look she gave him he knew she had guessed the truth. Bani, was and always will be Jai's greatest and weakest person.
Jai heard the door close softly behind her. he was sorry for her. she did not deserve this rejection. But if he continued he would be living a lie. Meera was a good person and the sooner she accepted that he will never be hers the better it would be for her to move on in life. He would support her. she could even live in the same house. But his mind and body will only be Bani's.
Standing for what you believe in regardless of the odds against you,
and the pressure that tears at your resistance is something he had to start doing. Bani had to know that. The power games had to stop. Nothing matters to him now than having the family he had always wanted. It was time to raise the stakes. If it meant he had to step on heads to do it he was prepared too. He will hound Bani until she succumbed to him. He was stopping at nothing and doing what's in his heart that he knew was right.
The fight between him, Bani and the whole damned world was on.
Jai decided that Bani, his beautiful estranged wife, who is also the mother of his child, and another on the way has left him no alternative: he will do anything in his power to possess his wife and children. Bani will be a wife to him—in every way possible way once again.
what Jai failed to realise was that this time there were no second chances. this time the influence of the mighty Jai will mean nothing to the person he was going to conquer.😭
Meera knew that holding your head high And being the best you know you can be when life seems to fall apart at your feet, ...is Fortitude.
Well life had fallen at her feet. She could beg at Jai's feet and be pathetic or she could move on and still maintain her self respect. The truth still stands, there was no place in Jai Walia's life for her. She knew that she had done more than was expected, to make another's life a little more bearable, without uttering a single complaint. It was with this dignity that she would finish things with Jai. 😭
Bani's apartment.
She sighed. It was a long day. Taking Ganga back to school was quite emotional. She had to explain to the teachers of her condition and the precautions they needed to take for her if she fell ill. They had managed to move into a much bigger apartment. She chose to give Massi and Ganga the biggest room as they wanted to share it together. Bani's room was small and cozy, and the guest room was the one she would turn into a nursery.
When Bani left WM she realized that facing each difficulty with thoughts that time will bring you better tomorrows, and never giving up, was what she needed to cling to.
She was relieved. There will be no JW to worry about. She did not need his false concern for her any longer. She did not have to confine herself in a room fearing an encounter with JW or Jigyasa. She hated the pitying looks she got from Rano, and the rest of them.
Today was the beginning of a new life for her. Ganga and her unborn child will be her universe. She needed nothing and no one else. she had finally removed Jai Walia from her life and her heart. It was hard, and it would get harder as the baby grew. She understood that there will be times when she would need him to re-assure her and comfort her. But then she thought of all the single mothers ought there that were doing just fine on their own.
She was determined to make it on her own too.
Suddenly she felt liberated, a calm descended upon her. For once she would only be responsible for herself and her children. her parents, Pia the Walia's been people that belonged to her sordid painful past. The future belonged to her.
She wiped her tears swearing that these were the last that she shed for the life she hated. She knew that JW would play an active role of father to his kids, and she would never deprive him of that. But to her he was just that, a father to their kids. She would have nothing to do with him. Everything he needed to say to her about the kids will be thorough formal conversation.
Loving JW was the most tragic thing she could have done. Their so called "love" destroyed everything she held dear to her heart. It angered her to think that she had spent so much of her young life on "loving" and not living.
She had finally closed that chapter on her life. 😆
End.
Love Friendship Dating and Relationships
Cricket
Hindi TV Shows
CID
Kumkum Bhagya
Ishaani
