This is a story I had initially conceived of for the KS Christmas and new year ff competition. But then I could not write it. So I decided to alter and expand it, to make it instead into a full length ff.
Since I am exhausted by the current mess on KS I decided to allow myself the freedom to abduct Jai Walia and Bani Dixit and place them in circumstances and settings of my own choosing. I will, as and when needed, also kidnap other characters from KS. The characters, and their character traits remain what they are in KS, only the storyline and the plot is altered.
This is also a little more mature. I hesitate to use the word adult since I do not write explicitly in any case, but it's, shall we say, much darker. So all those who like morality please don't be offended. Consider yourself fore warned and don't read it.
As for inspiration, all over the place!
THE FOREIGN SELF
Prolugue:
The College Chapel
Christmas Eve.
Delhi.
As the soft strains of the Bach's "jesu, joy of man's desiring" lingered and then softly dissipated, the congregation stood up. The choir filed out in an orderly queue, followed by the rest of the congregation. The chapel was empty, save two people, seated far apart.
Thinking herself alone in the dim, candle lit interior of the chapel, the girl allowed the iron control she had held herself in to waver and then finally break.
The sound of harsh sobbing, interspersed with gulping breaths; a vain effort to control the crying; broke into the bitter reverie the man was indulging in. For a moment the man was tempted to quietly slip out of the chapel door, near which he was seated. The female was sitting well towards the front. She probably had not even realised there was someone still seated in the back. He got up to leave unobtrusively. He had lingered on here to try to find some solace for his own pain. He was in no mood to deal with another's agony.
Part I
threats & promises
threats & promises
smudge the sky
shaking moon feathers
&
frost on love's widening lens
not to mention
dizzy unpicked fruit
more dizzy than truth
about to fall into our graves…..
w gian
"Oh, please God, No!" was her first waking thought.
God had obviously decided otherwise; she was indeed asleep in the arms of a stranger. Fantastic arms come to think of it, hard as steel but so warm in ensconcing her. "Stop that right now," Bani scolded herself as she tried to think of a way to extricate herself from this embarrassing situation. The warm chest with its reassuringly steady heartbeat was not conducive to thinking Bani concluded, barely managing to suppress a sigh, which would have alerted him to her wakefulness.
"Now that you are awake, would you mind moving so I can stretch my arms? They are beginning to feel numb," a dry voice drawled. Face aflame, Bani scrambled to dislodge her self from his arms with such haste that she bumped her head into his chin. And not very gently either, judging from the soft grunt, which gave way to an audible sigh of resignation as she yelped in pain. Her hair had caught on the buttons of his shirt.
"Allow me," he said, the politeness of the tone serving only to underscore the barely controlled irritation in the voice. As large, capable looking hands gently began to detangle button from hair, Bani told herself for the umpteenth time that she really ought to cut her hair. At waist length, it was far too long to be easily managed and the sheer heaviness of it meant that she could not tie it up too tightly for long periods without giving herself a headache. However, every time she went to the salon her courage failed. Besides, she always justified her long hair to herself as her one real claim to beauty.
"Focus," she ordered herself. Ok, so she had slept all over a complete stranger. Embarrassing, but it could happen to anyone who was as exhausted as she was. Five measly hours of sleep in two and half days! No prizes for guessing why she had fallen asleep as soon as she had strapped herself into her seat, and never even woke up as the hopping flight from Madras to Delhi landed, made its halt in Bombay and took off again, where, clearly the seat next to hers had been occupied.
"You can lift your head off my chest now, that is if you can bring yourself to forgo bodily contact with me," the voice Bani was already beginning to dread drawled again. The nerve of the man! Sitting sternly upright and desperately striving for dignity, rendered a bit difficult given the situation as well as the mane of tousled hair she had to clear off her face, Bani turned to him. The icy words she had intended to deliver her apology in for disturbing his precious self died on her lips. Fate could not be this bizarre! Not he, she prayed, let it be any one but him.
Her prayers were too late.
"Cat got your tongue?" he drawled sardonically after a long moment, clearly enjoying her discomfort. He did not recognise her. The shock of that lack of recognition gave way to a wave of overwhelming bitterness. Why did I fool myself into thinking that he would ever remember me when he obviously never really noticed me? She asked her self.
"Don't glare at me, I didn't ask you to fall asleep all over me," he went on dryly after a pause, mistaking her shock for anger. The cutting words jolted her out of her reverie. Gathering all her wits, Bani managed to mumble an apology for bothering him but a spark of defiance made her add with a determined lift of her chin, "it wasn't exactly planned."
Before he could reply, Bani got up and manoeuvring past him without any consideration for dignity, fled to the sanctuary of the loo, holding on tightly to the last shreds of her composure. Gripping the counter tightly she willed herself to serenity. Looking into the mirror above the basin, she saw her glittering eyes, flushed face, and knew it was a tough task. Why couldn't it be any one but him? Seven years was a long time. But not long enough for her to forget him. Clearly, he had not had the same problem. Then again, what did he have to forget?
Resolutely pushing the past away, she splashed cold water on her heated face and then tried to tame her hair into some semblance of order. She tried to compose herself mentally. She was a grown woman of twenty-eight, not a nave young girl. She had a successful career and she could deal with things in a mature way. Satisfied that she had done the best she could, she walked back to her seat. She could handle a chance encounter with him, she repeated to herself. She ignored the tinge of panic underwriting that litany.
He was asleep. Thank god! Bani muttered to herself as she squeezed past him and settled into her seat. A surreptitious glance confirmed that he had not woken up. Despite her tiredness, Bani could not fall asleep. "Big surprise!" she mumbled to herself and with a sigh of resignation gave in to the temptation. Turning her head slightly she studied him. Even the abandonment of sleep did not detract from the rugged strength of his face. The sensuously full lips seemed out of place in a face composed of harsh planes and angles with its sharply defined cheekbones and a straight aquiline nose that perfectly complemented the arrogant jaw line. His face was leaner. Harsher than she remembered. Like a sunflower soaking the sun her eyes drank in the sight of him. Involuntarily her hand lifted to stroke away the hair that fell across his forehead, making him look curiously vulnerable. It felt like silk. She was tempted to run her fingers through it. Barely suppressing the urge, Bani shivered as she forced herself to turn away. Blindly staring out of the window she tried to pull herself together. This was madness! She had to stop behaving like an idiot. "It's sleep deprivation combined with embarrassment. That is all," she told herself firmly. "But why did it have to be him of all the billions of people on this planet? Why, why, why?" she asked herself.
Right. So let me know what you think about it and whether y'all want me to continue or not.
Armana
Part II
"Why what?" His amused voice asked dryly. Bani groaned mentally as she realized she had voiced her thoughts out loud. Then she winced as she remembered what exactly had preceded her "why." "Please God, let him not have heard that," she pleaded mentally. Turning cautiously to face him and keeping her voice light with effort, she asked, "When did you awaken?" Looking at her thoughtfully he waited a moment before saying, "just in time to hear your litany of why's. Did I miss something more interesting?"
"Oh no, nothing at all," Bani hastened to assure him. He continued to regard her with a quizzical expression in his startling eyes. The deepest black, they seemed to look right into her soul, unnerving her. He continued to study her without saying anything. Furiously wracking her brains for something innocuous to say, she was startled when he held out his hand saying, "Jai." Automatically she placed her hand in his. As his hand gripped hers in a firm but gentle grip, she forgot what she was going to say. Her hand felt dwarfed in his. The insidious warmth his hand radiated began to suffuse her entire body. His amused prompt, "I think this is where you tell me your name," recalled her to her senses. Trying not to appear as flustered as she felt, she abruptly pulled her hand out of his and said, "I am sleep deprived."
She tried not to groan aloud as pure amusement flooded his expression. Taking a deep breath, she tried again. "Bani."
"Bani sleep deprived? Fascinating name," he murmured with a wryly-lifted eyebrow.
"Bani Dixit." She watched him intently for any flicker of recognition. Not particularly surprising. Nonetheless, the lack of recognition hurt. It also helped her gain control over her brain, which had obviously short-circuited because of proximity to him. Jai. She had to remind herself of that. He had a name now.
Therefore, it was with a measure of her normal composure that she turned to face him. It fled the next moment as he said, "I don't like sleeping with strangers, but now that we are properly introduced you are quite welcome to sleep all over me." With that, he settled his pillow and held out his arm, inviting her to nestle into his shoulder.
Nearly spluttering with indignation, Bani began saying, "look here, Mr….er..Jai," only to be cut short.
"We've established your need for sleep and judging by the last hour I am going to be the pillow. I would also like some sleep, so would you please stop wasting my time and let me do this in a way that ensures I can also sleep?" Without giving her any time to react, he reached an arm around her shoulder, pulling her towards him and settled her head on his shoulder. Turning slightly in his seat he linked his other arm across her and rested his cheek on her hair with the air of a man settling down. Sheer shock held her immobile for a minute, as it wore off she tried to wriggle out of his hold. The arms tightened, pinning her in position. Without relaxing his hold, Jai said quietly, "Relax, Bani. You are safe. I assure you."
Safe and relaxed were the last two words in the entire English language that she would use to describe how she felt at this moment! What she should be feeling was angry. Unfortunately, all she was feeling instead was a strange sense of contentment, of homecoming, as if being held in Jai's arms was the most natural state of being. As her tired, traitorous body began to mould itself against his, Bani sighed and acknowledged the battle as lost. The worst of it was that the enemy was within. She had dreamed of him holding her for so long that the reality of it was akin to a sensory overload. The warmth of his body seeped into her as the scent of him filled her nostrils. Bliss. "This is a huge mistake," was her last thought as she drifted off into sleep.
"Wake up sleepy head. The plane is about to land."
Stretching languorously and encountering a hard, male body, Bani blushed as she remembered where she was. Turning her head slightly she thanked him and busied herself with her seat belt.
As he disappeared into the crowded terminal, Bani found herself standing and staring at his back with a mixture of regret and relief. She wished she'd had the courage to speak up. To remind him. And relief that she had not. Something about him had scared her. She wasn't quite sure what it was. In any case it was too late. He had disappeared. But atleast she knew his name now. Jai, she murmured to herself. It suited him, she decided. Short, too the point and yet with a hidden sensuality to it.
As Jai made his way over to where the chauffer waited for him, he found himself wanting to turn around and search the crowds for her. For Bani. Unusual name. It tantalised him. As if he should remember something but for the life of him he could not remember anyone or anything that recalled any association.
When he had strapped into his seat he had felt relieved to discover that his co-passenger was asleep. He was not in the mood for conversation, particularly with some simpering, on the make female, whose hunting instinct would be aroused as soon as she recognised him as Jai Walia.
And they invariably did, despite his extremely low profile. It never ceased to amaze him. They must watch the business section of the news only to memorise the faces and the financial worth of rich men, he had concluded cynically a long time ago. How else did these silly women recognise him? It never occurred to Jai that quite often the women's initial responses were motivated not by their recognition of him, but by the sheer attractiveness of his persona. He radiated authority and power, both wielded with the bone deep, unconscious assurance only the very rich have.
As he steeped out of the terminal, following the chauffer, who was carrying his luggage, to the car, the cold blast of a Delhi winter greeted him. Automatically, he buttoned his jacket and as he did so, his fingers encountered two stray strands of hair. Long, black silky hair.
He had been irritated when she had turned and nestled her head in his shoulder. And had reached out a hand to shake her into wakefulness, when she had muttered something in her sleep. The soft, nearly inaudible voice had stopped him. Its huskiness had recalled another voice. His angel's voice. In a moment of whimsy he had not only let her sleep but had actually put his arm around her shoulder so she could sleep more comfortably.
A decision he regretted an hour later when his arm went numb and this latter day descendant of kumbhkaran showed no sign of stirring. And then she had woken and in the ensuing commotion he had been made unwillingly aware of her enchanting curves. Which her loose apparel had most efficiently hidden. And there had been an instinctive response. Irritated, he had been far ruder with her than he had intended. And then, when she had pushed that tangled cloud of silk off her face he had seen her face and the response it evoked in his body was even more instantaneous. That riot of black silk framed a face of startling purity and elegance, which went beyond physical beauty.
The porcelain like fair skin and those delicious lips; with little creases at the corner that invited, no, begged a man to kiss them; would have been more than enough to ensure a second look. But those eyes! The strangest, softest, warmest shade of brown, glinting with splashes of green. Not enough to be called hazel, just enough to transform the brown into something indescribable. Framed by outrageously long sooty black lashes, they seemed to hold no guile whatsoever. Curiously vulnerable, as the last vestiges of sleepiness lingered in them, her eyes seemed to prove the adage, that eyes were the windows to the soul. Later, when she had woken up fully, they faithfully expressed every emotion, from the embarrassment she felt to the sudden spurt of anger at the curt way he had spoken.
Arrival at the hotel roused Jai out of his reverie and it was with displeasure he realised that he had spent the entire time from the airport to the hotel thinking about some random stranger who had had the bad manners to not only make his journey uncomfortable as hell but had also prevented him from doing the paperwork he had planned to finish going over during the flight.
Part III
Rano enfolded Bani in a bear hug, almost lifting her off the ground in the process. Dear, sweet, tomboyish Rano, Bani laughed to herself. Nothing had changed. And that was a comforting thought.
"I can't believe that you of all people are arriving so late for my wedding!" Rano scolded Bani.
"It was unavoidable Rano. Besides, in case it has slipped your mind, it was you who urged me, no, bullied me into this trip! You can hardly complain now!"
"excuses, excuses!" Rano answered cheekily.
The rest of the trip passed in Rano describing the manifold perfections epitomised by Tarun, her fiance and soon to be husband.
"He sounds less like a man, and more like a perfect robot, designed by some thoughtful women," Bani commented naughtily as she got out of the car and then wisely ran to the house where Rano's mom, stood framed in the doorway. Greeting her with a hurried hug, Bani promptly hid behind her, avoiding Rano.
Used to the antics of Rano and Bani, Mrs. Shastri smiled indulgently. Laughingly, she refereed them while ushering them both into the house, where Mr. Shastri was waiting for them.
Later that night, after Bani and Rano had finished their heart to heart conversation, Bani had agreed that Tarun must be awesomely perfect, had apologised for not having been available earlier and Rano had fallen asleep; Bani tossed and turned restlessly for a while before she gave up. Slipping out of bed quietly so as not to wake up Rano, she wrapped herself in a shawl and made her way to the balcony.
She stared at the waning moon moodily. It was being back in Delhi . Every time she came here it was the same. The same memories assaulted her. And every time she overcame the bitterness and the betrayal by remembering him. Jai. He had a name now. Like a magic charm she repeated in her mind what he had told her on that far away night, when her world had come crashing down.
Rano sighed to herself as she saw Bani slip out of the room. Rano knew that every return to Rano's house in Delhi was a reopening of the old wounds. What never ceased to amaze Rano was not the fact that for Bani every homecoming was painful, but how after just one short night Bani always put it behind her. And lived as if it was all nothing. How did she do it, compartmentalize it, put it away? Rano had always marvelled. She had never seen Bani cry over it. Come to think of it, since that ghastly incident seven years age, she had never seen Bani cry! Rano had tried to talk to Bani about it the next morning, after she had returned from where ever it was that Bani had fled to in her shock that fateful night. But Bani had refused. And remained steadfast in her refusal. I am fine. I can deal with this on my own, she had said quietly but firmly. And soon the serenity of her persona no longer felt alien. Even to her dearest childhood friend.
As Bani slipped back into bed Rano asked, without opening her eyes, "feel better now?"
"I tried not to wake you up."
"as if your trying ever stopped me from anything," Rano responded with a smile, opening her eyes and looking at Bani with concern and love.
With an equally loving glance, Bani ruefully acknowledged the truth of that. "No, it never did. And I invariably ended up sharing your punishments without ever having enjoyed the transgression," she retorted dryly.
Rano laughed, hugged her and said, "that's because you were a chicken."
"sensible!"
"chicken!"
And on the note of this, their long standing childhood squabble, they both slept.
The next morning over breakfast in the Diner at the Habitat Centre Bani and Tarun finally met.
"Although I have to admit that meeting you feels almost superfluous. Having seen your pictures and heard so much about you, I feel that I already know everything about you," Tarun said with genuine warmth.
"Not everything I hope! You are only meant to hear the good," Bani laughed.
"well, good or bad depends on the perspective doesn't it?" Tarun asked diplomatically.
"And now I know why you are such a successful lawyer," Bani retorted.
Rano beamed at them both, delighted to see her best friend and her fiance hit it off. She had known that Tarun and Bani would approve of each other but to see it actually happen allowed to her breathe a sigh a relief. It was important to her that these two get along.
"I like him," was Bani's verdict, "enough to almost forgive him for making my friend move to Bombay after her wedding."
"I liked her. Interesting person," Tarun told Rano later in the day, when they were alone. "Although I have to admit that it's a bit of a surprise to see the two of you together."
"don't let appearances deceive you, Rano answered placidly, used to exclamations of surprise over the odd pair she and Bani made. They were to be expected. Where she was an usual for Indian women, five feet and eight inches tall, Bani was a petite five three. And where she was racehorse sleek, in other words tending towards the boyish in her figure, Bani was all lush curves. Even in terms of their nature they were opposites. She had always been the louder of the two, the extrovert who always landed the quieter, introverted Bani into trouble with the proposed schemes, which had invariably gone awry.
But not once had Bani refused to follow her into those madcap adventures. Not since that day, way back in kindergarten when Bani had been the only determined toddler to befriend the newcomer, whose height even then had made her stand out like the class freak she had continued to be for the rest of her school life. Everyone always assumed that it was she who led among the two of them. But the truth was that the quieter, shyer Bani was in reality the more determined of the two.
"Actually I was referring to the differences in nature. My guess is that she is a lot more intense than she lets on. And a lot quieter than you."
"complaining about my loudness, are you?" Rano laughed, totally secure in his love.
He lifted her hand, and kissed it as he said, "not in this lifetime. Come to think of it, not for the next seven lifetimes either. I love you just the way you are, my tall, bespectacled tomboy."
"and I love you just the way you are, smart, handsome, intelligent enough to fall in love with me and tall enough to allow me to wear heels."
"heels? I didn't know you liked wearing heels. Never seen you in any," he said quizzically.
"I don't like wearing heels, but it's good to have options in life," she answered.
"as long as you realise that I am not merely an option!"
"oh no! you are now a confirmed necessity," she affirmed, embracing him, "like a very well accessorised handbag," she could not help adding.
He did the smartest thing he could; shut her up by kissing her.
Right then, all you silent readers, it would be really nice if you made your presence visible!
Common on people, a little feedback will go a long way!
Part IV
The party was well under way when Jai arrived.
An hour later Jai was looking forward to making a quiet exit.
As he wove with his way through the crowd of acquaintances, friends, foes and the merely curious with accomplished ease, two pairs of eyes were tracking him.
Tarun caught the intent way with which Rano was regarding Jai.
"so, what did you think of him?"
"honestly? I don't know. Sure, he's your closest friend and he met me with genuine warmth but there's something very closed about him, very guarded. Oh, he's charming all right but so very reserved……am I making any sense?"
"in your usual convoluted way, quite a lot! The thing is that Jai does not like social occasions. He rarely attends parties. I mean he is only here because it's my wedding. Just wait, in private Jai is a much more approachable person. I'm sure you'll like him once you get to know him."
"It's not about liking….it's ….i somehow feel a little intimidated by him!"
"Well he can come across as a little unapproachable, but trust me, he's a wonderful person," Tarun reassured her before turning to Jai, who had reached them.
As Jai began making his excuses, Tarun cut him short, "come on Jai, you've barely spent anytime here, you can't disappear this early. And don't you dare say anything about a meeting tomorrow. You are supposed to be in delhi only to attend my wedding!"
Jai capitulated gracefully, and with a warm smile, the one reserved for the few members of his charmed circle of his close friends, turned to Rano, engaging her in conversation.
After her initial hesitation, Rano had to admit to herself that this, her second encounter with Jai was going far better than her first.
Soon the conversation turned to revelations of the childhood pranks he and Tarun had indulged in. Tarun laughingly beat a strategic retreat by offering to fetch refreshments for them.
A natural lull in the conversation ensued, as Jai finished an anecdote about Tarun, which had Rano doubling up with laughter.
As Tarun rejoined them, he tried to turn the tables on Jai, without much success.
Across the room, Bani involuntarily stole another glance at Jai.
Seeing him here had been a shock.
Tarun had begun to introduce them only to be cut short by Jai's curt, "we've met."
More than the curtness of his words it was the way he said them, with a cynical, bored expression. Tarun and Rano's astonishment had been summarily dismissed with a witty but nonetheless dismissive account. And then he had politely excused himself, subtly but surely dismissing her.
Startled, Bani too had withdrawn. A little hurt and a little puzzled. Hurt because she got the feeling that he was somehow forestalling any claim of acquaintanceship she might foist upon him. And puzzled at the fact that he would immediately jump to such a conclusion. Until discreet enquiries revealed who he was. Jai Walia, one of India's richest business tycoons, reclusive to the point of being almost invisible.
All evening she had been aware of his presence. But self respect won and she deliberately kept her distance from him. Besides, there were many claimants for attention. Especially female claimants, ranging from the single to the married. As she observed him charming them all with effortless ease she could not help recalling all the speculation that attended his love life, conducted in the strictest of privacy it may have been; many a former paramours were more than delighted to boast of having been Jai Walia's fancy, however fleetingly.
As some other people claimed the happy couple's attention, Jai sought refuge in the relative seclusion of the balcony. He considered the cold a small price to pay for a moment of privacy. Two more days, the mehendi cum dinner tomorrow and the wedding the day after and then he could escape in peace.
The rasp of a zippo alerted Bani that she was no longer alone on the balcony. The tiny flame illuminated for an instant the face of Jai. A contented puff was followed swiftly by a plume of ghostly smoke that lingered lazily before curling away.
Even as Bani debated her decision and in conclusion began to turn to retreat noiselessly, smoke blown her way caught her throat and a delicate cough escaped.
Startled by the cough that sounded overloud in the still silence Jai turned his head and saw her.
As he continued to regard her inscrutably, Bani nervously apologised, "I was just leaving….," trailed into silence and continued to stare at him, compelled by something in his face that caused her skin to prickle and tighten.
Dressed in a peacock blue benarsi silk saree, she ought to have blended into the dark shadows of the night but the muted light spilling onto the balcony from the streetlamps bathed her in its warm glow. Causing the silk to glisten in a riot of splintered colour, making her skin gleam like a pearl and deepening her eyes to mysterious pools. His breath caught in his throat. He had been trying not to think about her all evening. Finding her here was unexpected. She represented a moment of weakness, a whimsy that he had given into. And Jai did not like to be reminded of such moments. When he had seen her eyes light up with recognition and something else that he chose not to analyse, he was convinced that her lack of recognition of Jai Walia on the flight had been a pose. A clever ruse to intrigue his interest. She had known exactly who he was and that they were bound to meet the next day. Well, he hadn't been amongst the most sought after bachelors all this while without learning all the tricks there were.
But, contrary to expectation she had avoided him. And that had surprised him. He was used to women trying to attract him not women who received his polite rebuffs with every appearance of disinterest.
Her cough, as smoke once again caught her throat, broke the silent spell that had enveloped them both.
Wordlessly Jai dropped his cigarette and ground it out.
"Please don't bother…"Bani began only to stop as a cold gust of the November wind caused her to shiver.
As she stood and gave a delicate shiver, Jai's mouth twisted into a cynical smile and with insolent elegance he shrugged out of his jacket and stepped forward to drape it around her shoulders, murmuring, "allow me;" the very blandness of his tone constituting an insult.
Before the jacket could envelope her in its warm embrace, Bani turned on her heel and began walking towards the door.
Surprised, Jai instinctively lengthened his stride and catching up with her, dropped it on her shoulders.
The warmth of the jacket was the harbinger of a more potent warmth, the scent and feel of the man who owned it.
Bani gasped but before she could she could say or do anything, Jai spoke; his voice devoid of any mockery.
"Please, it's cold and you are not wearing anything warm."
"I…I am fine. Anyways, I was just returning back to the party….Rano will be wondering where I am," and with that she made to take it off her but the weight of his hands on her shoulders forestalled her.
"Take it off inside where it's warmer."
As soon as they were inside she returned his jacket and murmuring thanks turned to leave.
Only to be stopped by his hand on her wrist.
"dance with me," he commanded, the words sounding as if they had been dragged unwillingly from him.
Without giving her a chance to respond he dropped his jacket on a nearby sofa and lead her to the dance floor.
Jai noted and correctly interpreted the tiny shiver his touch on her wrist elicited. As he circled her waist and drew her near, faint colour stained her alabaster cheeks. But she said nothing, willing to let him lead in silence. Nor did she look up at him. Only as the song ended and he reluctantly released her did she finally look up at him. it was a searching glance, asking a question he could not or would not understand. Of its own volition, his hand lifted to gently brush a stray lock of hair off her cheek and tuck it behind her ear.
His finger brushing across her cheek seemed to trail fire. Ever so slowly he tucked her hair behind her ear and there his finger lingered, delicately tracing the soft shell of her ear. Bani felt a surge of heat and knew that colour had begun to bloom in her cheeks. As she looked into his eyes, their black depths seemed to expand until she felt she was staring into an abyss. And once I fall into this abyss I will never return she imagined fancifully, and then shook her head, trying to break the strange spell he seemed to be weaving over her. Stepping out of his arms, she smiled at him with attempted impersonality and walked away.
Later in the night Bani replayed the encounter in her mind over and over again. His cynicism stunned her and saddened her. But the magnetic attraction he seemed to exercise over her she could not deny.
Jai tossed back his whiskey with a grimace. It was attraction all right. Of the most basic, physical variety, but Jai had a rule, never the innocent. And Bani was an innocent; her startled, shy responses all confirmed it, as did the trust with which she looked at him.
Part V-A
I want to dedicate this part to the memory of Purple_Penguins. A silent reader, who would break her silence only once during each of the earlier ff's I wrote, and then only to tell me that she was indeed reading them.
I will miss your 'once per ff' presence, Purple_Penguins.
Rest in peace.
Tarun and Rano had decided to dispense with tradition and make a much larger occasion of what was traditionally a function primarily hosted by the bride for her female friends. Instead, they had decided to combine it with a dinner party and extend it to include all of the groom's friends and guests as well.
As Jai walked in late for the function, he reiterated his resolve to stay away from Bani.
For the past half hour, Bani's eyes had been unconsciously scanning the crowds. She had expected him to be among the latecomers, but by now the dinner was being served and there seemed to be no more people coming in. she sighed in relief and if there was a tinge of regret mingled in it, it was not discernable in her expression or bearing.
No one who had observed her for the past two hours could have guessed that she had had anyone on her mind other than the company of young men and women she was laughing and socialising with. Not even Jai from across the room, where from a slightly secluded corner he had been observing her discreetly. With growing irritation he had been watching her laugh and gently flirt, charming even shy young men with her warmth. As she sat next to Rano and had mehendi put on her hands, one particularly persistent admirer remained glued to her side. The fact that Mohan happened to be friend of both Jai and Tarun only served to increase Jai's irritation.
Mrs. Shastri, Rano's mum, setting a plate of food near her was a welcome distraction. Bani was getting a little tired of Mohan's persistent gallantry. Her face ached from the effort of smiling.
"stay right there Bani," Mrs.Shastri ordered maternally. "As soon as I finish feeding Rano, I'll feed you."
With alacrity Mohan got up and made his way over to where the food was laid. Correctly interpreting his actions, which escaped the notice of both Rano and her mum, Bani nodded obediently, "ji, mama, I am just going over to say hello to Preeti, I'll be back before you finish feeding Rano," and quietly made her escape into the garden before Mohan could re appear with a plate of food and the offer to feed her.
The night air was not chilly. It was downright cold. Bani shivered but remained where she was, glad to be alone with the disappointment that remained consciously unacknowledged. Suddenly exhausted beyond belief, she sank onto the wooden garden bench, crossing her arms, but careful not to smudge the mehendi on her hands. As another shiver overcame her, she reluctantly got up to go back inside. And just then gentle hands draped a jacket around her shoulder, taking care that the fabric did not fall on her hands.
She froze and then relaxed.
"I did not see you in the party," she said without turning around.
As soon as he saw Bani head out Jai had acknowledged the battle as lost.
Seated on the bench, with her arms crossed protectively in front of her, she looked like a lost child, her slender frame shivering slightly.
"I didn't realise you were looking," Jai said imperturbably as his hands on her shoulders urged her to sit down on the bench.
Obediently she sat. A moment later he appeared in front of her, placing the side table, which moments before had flanked the bench, in front of her. On it was food.
Seating himself next to her, he picked up the plate and wordlessly held out a spoonful.
"I am a vegetarian."
"Of course you are," he said tonelessly and putting the plate back on the table, stood up and turned to go back in. Two steps away he stopped and turned, looking at Bani who had turned slightly in her seat and so was looking at him.
"Anything except the saag," she informed him.
"it would have to be the saag," he murmured before walking away.
Tarun was intrigued. He had seen Jai leave earlier with a plate of food. And now he was exiting with a second plate. Trust Jai, Tarun thought with a laugh, about to follow Jai to see which lucky damsel had attracted the fickle interest of Jai, when Mohan interrupted him.
"Tarun, have you seen Bani?"
"No, why?......Oh I see. Bani, huh?"
"so? Any objections?"
"no, none, but behave. She is like a sister to Rano. Which means, no idle dalliance," Tarun warned lightly but firmly.
"Bani doesn't strike me as the casual fling variety," Mohan returned.
Tarun started laughing, "in that case Mohan, stop wasting your time in talking to me and go look for her."
Rano went into the garden as a last resort. She had already looked everywhere else for Bani. Rano almost stumbled as she located Bani.
Wrapped in his jacket, Bani was quietly sitting next to Jai Walia, who was feeding her.
Shocked Rano retreated without being noticed.
"Bani has eaten, uh….Preeti fed her," she told her mother.
And then repeated the excuse when Mohan asked about Bani, adding, "she's seeing off our school friends and then she'll be here." And then proceeded to gesture a perplexed Tarun to follow her, alone.
"What?" he asked as soon as they were alone.
"Just come with me.
There. Look."
Tarun gaped, "Bani and Jai?"
"I don't know what to make of it. Bani has never behaved like this. She's never…..isn't this too sudden?" Rano fretted.
"Not for Jai," Tarun said with a grimace, "look, for now I suggest you let it be. Talk to Bani later, when you are alone."
Bani and Jai finished their meal in silence. He had fed her and himself with competent efficiency, which had no business being anything but mundane. Yet Bani had found the motion of his hand as he guided each spoonful to her lips unbearably sensuous. As her soft pink lips parted to allow in the spoon it was all Jai could do to not throw the spoon aside and kiss her.
Part V-B
"What is it?" she asked as Jai continued to look at her face after she finished eating.
"There's a crumb at the corner of your mouth."
Unselfconsciously Bani licked her lips and then looked at him, "gone?"
And when he shook his head, presented her face to him, with the trusting simplicity of a child.
Slowly Jai reached out and stroked the crumb away. His finger lingered, and then slowly traced the shape of her lips, which parted as she gasped. To hell with the consequences, Jai thought as he slowly, delicately gathered her wrists and looped them around his neck, drawing her unresisting body closer to his.
As his lips hovered mere inches from hers, his warm breath caressing her lips, he warned huskily, "now would be a very good time to say no." In response, Bani tightened her arms around his neck and offered him a slow smile, rich with innocent provocation.
Breathing harshly, Jai finally stopped kissing her. She opened her eyes, looking at him through dazed, glittering eyes. With such simple trust that Jai nearly groaned. Unlooping her arms from around his neck and stood up.
"This was a mistake. It shouldn't have happened. I am sorry."
She looked at him with blankness that was slowly replaced by hurt. But she said nothing. Quietly she stood up and turned slightly, wordlessly asking him to remove his jacket.
"keep it. It's cold."
She looked straight at him and with a suspicious sheen to her eyes softly said, "it smells of you."
Jai closed his eyes in frustration and took a deep breath. Finally he opened his eyes, nodded and removed the jacket. As she turned to leave, she said, "thank you for dinner," before walking away.
He stood where he was. Watching her walk away, a distinctive figure in the red and yellow leharia chiffon lehenga. It was the right thing to do. So why did he feel, as she walked away, that he was watching the warmth and fire walk out of his life? Attraction, Jai told himself was good at warping one's thinking. Since when had he, a hard nosed business man, whose motto; proved correct repeatedly; was : everybody and everything had a price; become so fanciful? At 37 he was jaded, cynical and far too old for someone as young and trusting as Bani. All he could offer her was the thrill of a relationship that had no real future. He grimaced in the middle of his reverie because as he put his jacket on Bani's subtle scent, a haunting mixture of flowers and something else clung to it.
Bani refused point blank to discuss Jai with Rano. All she would say was "don't worry about me Rano. But please don't ask me to talk about it. I can't." And Rano had no option but to accept Bani's silence on the subject. Her only resort was calling up Tarun.
"What do you want me to say?" he asked helplessly.
"I don't know! Will Jai end up breaking her heart?"
"Quite possibily. Jai is a very determined love'em and leave'em person. But, Rano this is unusual for Jai."
"meaning?"
"that Bani is not his type. Oh she's pretty enough in her own way but usually he tends to go out with women who are more worldly, who know the score…….maybe, it's different this time…." He trailed off uncertainly.
"poor Bani. The last thing she needs is a man like him. I can't see her having her heart broken all over again….i just can't."
The next morning Tarun, Jai and Mohan met up for a leisurely breakfast in the coffee shop of the hotel they all were staying in. Their friendship went back a long way, as all three had grown up together but the bond between Tarun and Jai was much stronger, partly because they both had also gone to the same boarding school, Sherwood in Nainital, while Mohan had opted to stay at home. From there Jai had gone on to complete his B.A from College in Delhi, before going abroad for his business degree, while Tarun had headed to the National Law school in Bangalore. Finally they had both returned to Bombay. Thus, Tarun had a far greater insight into the nuances of Jai's expression than Mohan. Therefore, Mohan remained oblivious of the slight tightening of Jai jawline when Bani's name came up but Tarun noticed it.
"Tarun can you give me Bani's number? I never did manage to meet her again last night. So I thought I'd ask her out for lunch today."
"I didn't realise that you are this interested in her," Tarun commented lazily, deliberately drawing the issue out more to gauge Jai's reaction than any interest in Mohan.
"well I am. Can I have the number?" Mohan said.
"theek hai," Tarun said peacefully, reeling out Bani's cell no. before going on, "but you realise, don't you, that she is not a good time girl?"
"just how many times are going to tell me that? I am not blind yaar!"
"toh tum kya usse shaadi karna chahte ho?"
"Haan. Ab issme bhi tumhe koi problem hai?" Mohan asked
"kya Mohan, hoping for third time lucky?" Tarun teased.
"Oiye, could do with a little support out here!" Mohan appealed to Jai, "are you just going to sit in silence while Tarun is going on?"
"I really don't think you are Bani's type," Jai said curtly.
"Accha, since when have you become an expert on Bani's likes? Arre Jai, abhi toh maine Bani's ko propose bhi nahin kiya aur tum abhi se uski sid eley rahe ho?" Mohan laughed, but trailed off seeing Tarun's watchful expression and Jai's seriousness.
"Hey guys, what wrong with you people? I seriously like this girl!" Mohan said before explaining in a slightly defensive tone, "I know what you are thinking, that I twice divorced and here I am contemplating a third marriage….but trust me,I know what I am doing. I think she will make an excellent wife and the perfect mother for my ten year old daughter, Ria. Look twice I married very beautiful, smart women and look what happened. So this time I want a simple, not so beautiful, and a not so sophisticated woman. Tum dono jitna chahe has lo, but I am right in my assessment." And with Mohan took his cell phone off the table and walked off.
"Bani is very beautiful," Jai growled and then realised that not only had he spoken aloud but that he had a very interested audience, whose carefully bland expression did not fool Jai.
"why did you give her number to Mohan?" he asked irritatedly, "don't you think he's all wrong for her?"
"hey I'm not her keeper and it's her choice!" Tarun shrugged and said casually. "Anyways, why are we wasting time talking about her? how did your business meeting go yesterday? I still can't believe that you combined business with attending your friend's wedding."
Jai did not deign to reply, just glared at Tarun, got up and stalked out of the coffeeshop.
Tarun watched him depart with barely concealed glee.
In the foyer, Jai made a call from his cell.
Bani was lazing in the winter sun, soaking its warmth, appreciating the sun's infrequent visits in a fog prone delhi when her cell phone buzzed again, displaying an unknown number.
"hello?"
"where can we meet for lunch?"
"what? Who?.....Oh."
"make it 1 p.m. here at….no, not here at Taj. Pick a place."
"aren't you assuming something?"
"what? I know you can't have agreed to have lunch with Mohan."
"what?…..no, that's not the assumption I was referring to."
Silence at the other end.
"you are assuming that I'd be willing to meet you," Bani said silkily, "you are wrong."
"you are willing all right. The question is why won't you."
"because I'm not in the mood for another apology."
Silence once again and then, "you're right. Thank you for reminding me. Perhaps you should meet Mohan. He is quite serious, you know."
"and you, Mr.Walia, are insufferable," Bani said and hung up. Angry at both, him and herself.
At the wedding, Jai deliberately ignored Bani long enough for her to start seething. As he watched her toss her hair with a determined shake of her head, and deliberately avoid looking at him, he nearly smiled. Anger suited her, adding colour to her pale cheeks and a sparkle to her eyes. Suddenly his amusement vanished as Mohan made his way to her side and was welcomed with a charming smile. Soon they were engaged in what appeared to be a rather cosy tte--tte. Jai frowned as Mohan began to slowly edge her away from the crowd. The little fool, Jai thought, doesn't she realise what Mohan is doing and that he's had far too much to drink?
It took Bani a while to realise three things:
Mohan had adroitly manouvered her into a secluded corner of the open air venue.
Mohan had ingested a fair bit of alcohol.
Mohan could not carry his liquor well, clearly he was a loud, belligerent drunk.
As Mohan pressed his suit, Bani tried to disengage her hand from his somewhat clammy grip and make a quiet retreat without causing a scene.
Tightening his grip on her hand, Mohan dropped awkwardly to one knee, "Beni, shay yes, that you will be my wife…..or I will keep asking…"
"please Mr. Khandelwal, get up," Bani said in equal parts irritation and desperation.
"yes Mohan do get up. And stop making a cake of yourself," a blessedly familiar voice drawled from behind her shoulder.
Mohan just gaped.
Jai sighed and stepping forward disengaged Bani's hand from his and said "Mohan you are drunk and I the lady clearly uncomfortable. I suggest you call it a day." And with that he tugged gently on Bani's hand and led her away.
If Mohan had led her to the edge of the party, Jai led her further, into the shadowed arbour where no one could spot them from the party.
"Care to explain that?" Jai asked with an ominous frown, having released her hand.
A huge, huge thank you to all of you who've taken the time to post.
I am sorry for not replying individually, but the choice was between posting this part or replying.
I am assuming I made the right choice!
I am sorry that this part is not as long as it ought to have been, but it's second half is incomplete.
I guess, I felt we all needed cheering up after the joke of an episode aired today, so I am posting it as it is….and the remainder, which should have come as a part of this section will now have to be posted as V-D!
Happy Valentine to you all.
Part V-C
"Explain what?" she asked in bewilderment.
"Explain what?" he mimicked in anger, "so it's nothing new for you is it?"
"nothing new? You aren't making any sense!"
"evidently not!" he shot back. "drunken men making passes at you is clearly a routine event."
"he was proposing, not making a pass!"
"I see. I interrupted quite needlessly. Perhaps you were on the verge of accepting the delightful prospect of being his third wife when I butted in."
"I thought he was your friend!"
"what's that supposed to mean?"
"nothing. Just that you're being rather unkind towards your friend."
"and that bothers you because?"
"it doesn't bother me. What I meant was…"
"it doesn't matter. Obviously my presence was an unnecessary intrusion. Clearly things were going the way you wanted. Must've been one fast lunch."
"what…lunch?" Bani spluttered and then took a deep breath.
"Look Mr. Walia, thank you for extricating me from a rather embarrassing situation. I didn't realise he was drunk and what he was planning to do."
Jai did not look all that appeased but as she continued to look at him guilelessly, he found it difficult to hold onto his anger. He tried to cling to it nonetheless, "so how was the lunch?"
"what lunch?" she asked in confusion, too mesmerised by his nearness to think of anything else.
"your date with mohan."
She sighed as his words registered, "for the last time, I did not have lunch with mohan. And even if I did, that would be my business," she added with a spurt of defiance, an urge which fled the very next moment as the storm clouds began to re group on his face. "I'd already turned him down when you called," she said placating him.
After a pause he asked in a much softer tone, "why didn't you meet me?" allowing his eyes to roam over her slender form, taking in the stunningly elegant Brocade and silk salwar kameez, with a pashmina shawl draped casually aroung her shoulders. The dull green and brown paisley pattern of the kameez complemented her eyes perfectly.
Looking straight at him she responded, "why did you apologise yesterday?"
The question irritated Jai, bringing to mind as it did all his reasons and his resolve. But what truly irritated him was the fact that covered from neck to toe, she still managed to take his breath away. Giving in he took a step closer and grabbing her by the shoulders pulled her forward, bringing her into contact with his body.
"Fine. I won't bother with an apology today," he said almost savagely before ruthlessly claiming her mouth.
Bani gasped at the roughness of his kiss, instinctively recoiling, but he only tightened his arms around her back. Helpless in the face of both, his strength and the havoc he was wreaking upon her senses, she surrendered, unconditionally.
The moment he felt her body mould itself against his, and her arms snaking around his neck, Jai deepened his kiss.
It took a while for Jai to register the buzzing of his cell phone. Very reluctantly lifting his face, he fished his cell phone out with one hand, cut the call without looking at the phone and looked at Bani, whose dazed eyes were glued to his face. She made no attempt to pull away, staying where she was, with her arms around his neck. Eventually his silent scrutiny pierced through her daze, but she refused to look away, meeting his scrutiny straight on. But she could not prevent the slight colour that began to stain her cheeks, or her pink tongue from darting out and nervously licking her bruised lips.
Involuntarily Jai softened and with a devastatingly sensual smile put his lips near her ear, to whisper in a husky voice, which sent a shiver down her spine, "I'll grant you courage." And then with a throaty laugh, began to tease the soft pink shell of her ear, tracing its outline with his tongue. Slowly he circled her diamond stud before taking the lobe in his mouth and gently sucking on it.
Bani gasped in sensual shock and closed her eyes. When he began trailing tiny, biting kisses down her throat her knees buckled and she clutched at his shoulder tightly. Automatically he tightened his hold on her and shifted his stance to take her weight, smiling into her throat.
The cell phone's insistent buzz intruded once again.
Jai straightened, holding Bani tightly to his chest. Who was glad of the support, certain that without it she would not be able to stand.
"yes, who is it?" Jai almost snarled into the cell.
"Tarun. Jai where are you? I can't see you anywhere here."
"I am right here at the blasted party. What is it?"
"I can't see you. I need to talk to you urgently."
Jai closed his eyes, exhaled loudly and then said, "you will in just a minute," before ending the call.
Looking down at Bani, who was nestled against his chest, he asked, "are you allright? We need to back to the party."
Slowly Bani lifted her head, let arms fall by her side and stood as further back as his arm around her waist allowed and asked, "how do I look?"
"satisfyingly kissed, were you expecting to look untouched?" he quipped sarcastically, removing his arm and stepping back abruptly.
The next instant he regretted his unthinking flippancy as Bani flinched and pulled away from him. Not meeting her eyes she began to finger comb her hair, and said in a tightly controlled voice, "why don't you go ahead?"
Jai knew instinctively that she fighting sudden tears. Because of him.
Bani was desperately hoping Jai would just leave so she could pull herself together without letting him see how much his flippancy had hurt her.
Gentle hands pushed her hands away from her hair and took over the task, restoring some semblance of order to them. And then the hands turned her around. While one hand tilted her chin, the other hand gently wiped the teardrops glistening in her eyelashes. She refused to look up, at him as she said, "I can take care of myself. Please just go." He didn't say anything, just continued to set her appearance to rights. Finally he took her shawl and looped it around her neck, covering her throat as he finally spoke, "I'm sorry."
At that she looked up immediately, her eyes flashing as she angrily said, "don't you dare!"
"I was apologising for my idiotic remark. Not kissing you," he said evenly and just as suddenly, her anger vanished.
Satisfied with her appearance, he took hold of one hand and said, "shall we?"
"why?" she finally asked as they made their way across.
His face tightened but after a moment he curtly said, "the words were a verbatim reminder of another time."
As they rejoined the crowds Bani was conscious of the glances their joined hands were attracting and she tried to withdraw her hand discreetly.
Without pausing or turning around he asked, "what?"
"everyone is looking," she returned uncomfortably.
He stopped at that and turned to look at her. A strange range of emotions flashed across his face, too quickly for her to interpret. But suddenly the cynical, world weary man she was scared off came back, and releasing her hand, he drawled blandly, "oh dear how very remiss of me not to realise how damaging this must be for your reputation. Please forgive me!"
And with that he walked off, leaving her rooted to the spot in surprised shock. Conscious of the picture she was presenting to the crowd who were busy speculating as to her identity and the exact nature of her relationship with Jai Walia, Bani lifted her chin determinedly and headed towards Rano, who was standing a little apart from Tarun, smiling at people and receiving their wishes mechanically while all her attention was oscillating between Tarun and Jai; who were heading towards the relative privacy offered by the shadowed margins of the garden; and the entrance, where a woman seemed to be attracting a lot of attention.
The melee of people made it impossible for Bani and Rano to converse, so Bani just stood near her and her eyes too sought out Jai and Tarun.
"I am really sorry Jai, I had no idea that she would turn up here. "
"who Tarun? What are you talking about?"
"Roshni."
Bani saw Jai's body go rigid before he swivelled around and began scanning the crowds. As he clearly found what he was searching for, she saw the tension in his body. His face was an icily controlled mask. Fascinated, Bani followed his gaze and found herself looking at the lady she had noticed earlier near the entrance.
Beautiful and commanding were words that immediately came to mind.
Jai was furious with himself for the rage that still welled up inside him everytime he had a chance run in with her. Roshni, the beautiful, bitch of a woman he'd once made the mistake of thinking he'd be happy to spend the rest of his life with. Years of ruthless self control, which was one of the reasons he'd made it to the top of the corporate world, enabled him to turn to Tarun and say calmly, "it's allright. The world has never been big enough. Let's go back and rejoin Rano."
Bani could not quite understand what had happened. The sophisticated, charming Jai standing besides Tarun and Rano was performing his social role with superb ease. And yet she sensed a black rage simmering underneath it all. He hadn't looked at her even once since he and Tarun had rejoined Rano and her. And that angered her as much as it hurt her. Fine, she thought, tossing her hair back in defiance, two can definitely play this game.
Since i can no longer add another part on this page, i am starting a new thread. Here is the link:
http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=552702
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