FF:Wooing Bani Dixit: Final Part pg 245 - Page 51

Originally posted by: sabsj

GULABO ....... this is for u, i took my time and hurried at the same time 😆

Me back, as in King Kong or Godzilla ... I am wondering which 😆

Chapter 8

"Looking for some action, sweetheart?" The voice came out of nowhere, honey sweet, startling Bani. Grasping her throat, Bani jumped away from the voice. When another bolt of lightning split the night, she spied two men in a nondescript grey sedan. One man was white and one was black and they looked to be thirty-something.

Oh Oh Trouble, I see.

Ignoring them, Bani picked up her pace trying to put distance between them. When they got out of their car, adrenalin shot through her. Panicking, Bani ran. She should've taken her chances at being sucked into the sky and whisked to Timbucktoo. Now what would happen to her? Stumbling over a crack in the sidewalk, she lost a high heel, tore holes in the feet of her hose and skinned her knees. They stung her ferociously.

Hands grabbed Bani's upper arms, hauling her backward. "What are you running from lady? Got any ID on you?" said a gruff voice.

Terrified, Bani fought with all her might, screaming. A lot of good it did her as the wind whipped all sound away. "Let go of me. Help! Somebody help me!"

Now dear, who will come to help you there. 😕

"We're the cops lady. You're under arrest" said the gruff voice again. Cold handcuffs clamped around her wrists. "You must be pretty desperate or stupid to be out on a night like tonight" the voice added.

"Both" Bani mumbled. Gulping in huge breaths, she studied the men. They were in plain clothes but clean cut otherwise. But did that mean anything?

"Show me your badges if you're indeed the police" demanded Bani.

😆😆😆 This is the spirit I love. Great going girl, Down but not out ... 😉

The two men whipped their identification, including shiny metal badges out for her inspection. "Satisfied? Let's go down to the precinct now" they told her coldly.

"Am I in trouble…" asked Bani.

Yeh koi puchne ki bhi baat hai darling? You are in BIG TROUBLE

"We haven't read you your rights yet. You'd be best advised to remain quiet until you speak with an attorney." The older man led the way.

Small stones and pebbles punished her tender, bare foot as Banu hobbled to the sedan next to the younger officer. He opened the back door and motioned her inside. "Your chariot madam. You can tell your story at headquarters. Anybody else out here with you needing help?" he asked Bani.

Chariot? 😆 Great sense of humour. 👏

Bani shook her head and said "just you, me, and the tornadoes." Loved this glib answer 😛 Bani watched the sky for funnel formations. "Wherever you go, stay away from the 17^th Street Causeway" she advised the officers.

She's still afraid of those tornadoes? 😕

They ignored her and spoke about their families as if she wasn't there. They stopped twice more, rounding up two more potential prostitutes. One wore frilly pink lace and satin. The other wore black leather and chains ……… woaaaaaahhhhhh …… this one sure reminds me of lacey, said Bani to herself. 😆 There you go again Saby Dear, Lacey, it cracks me up every time I read it. The cab reeked with their heavy perfume and whiskey.

When they finally reached police headquarters, the young cop held the door wide for them. "File out ladies. We're at the ball" he said sarcastically.

👏👏👏 I love your sense of humour dear. Mwaah. 😊

That about fit. Her date had turned into a rat and her carriage into a pumpkin.

A typical Cindrella, must say!

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Jai stared blankly at Pushkar as the younger man held his hand over the telephone receiver and repeated "She's where? For what?" with a completely shocked expression.

So pehla jhatka? Laga na jor se ... ab aagey aagey dekho hota hai kya Duffer 😡

Shock tinged Pushkar's voice and he was pale as he murmured "Bani is in jail for streetwalking, Jai. They've got her at the Sheriff's Office on Sunrise Boulevard. They want me to come down and post bail."

Jai jumped to his feet pacing. His future wife was in jail? For prostitution? Bani? "What happened to her date?" Or had the guy been a real date afterall?

Well someone is trying to think but is miserably faling to do so. Future wife, eh, I dont remember my Honeybun accpeting the offer. Men will always be men.

This was Bani they were talking about. Scared-of-her-own-shadow Bani. Straight-as-an-arrow Bani. They must be mistaken about his Bani. She'd die in there. He had to get her out. She'd be forever grateful to him for that.

He has to get her out so that out of gratitude she marries him? Really this guy is a one-piece stuff ...

"Sorry man, but I gotta go and check on Bani" said Pushkar as he switched off the television, grabbed his keys and walked towards the door.

"I'm going with you" said Jai as he dogged Pushkar's heels to walk out the door first.

"Is Bani okay? I'll drive. I'll get us there faster" he added.

"You mean you'll get us thrown in there with her?" asked Pushkar as he climbed into Jai's jee, scrunching his lanky frame inside.

Good question Pushy. I think I am liking this Pushkar a lot. 😊

"I think she's okay. They didn't say she wasn't. Wouldn't she be at the hospital if she were hurt?" asked Pushkar with fear.

"I bet she's scared to death. Your sister probably never dreamed she'd ever see the inside of a jail" said Jai, slapped the steering wheel with the flat of his hand and said "Come on car."

He was about to inject it with Viagra if it didn't get up to speed quick. Cursing loudly, Jai pounded the dashboard with his fist, momentarily losing control of the vehicle that swerved into the oncoming lane of traffic.

I now see where that Pushkar's dialogue came from .

"What's going on with your sister Pushkar?" asked Jai. He jerked the steering wheel to the right, pulling the jeep back into his own lane, barely hearing the car horns blasting at him. His foot weighed heavy on the gas pedal as he hurried to the police station. The slick roads and heavy rains didn't help traffic or his disposition. The only consolation was that the night matched his mood.

So you are trying to feign ignorance. It wont work dear. Forget it.

"Bani is pretty pissed off at the parents for insisting that she marry you" replied Pushkar as he clutched the seat, his feet pressing against the floorboards as if he could control the brakes by remote control.

Sliding a sidelong glance at his friend, between clenched teeth Jai asked Pushkar "Why is she pissed off? She's mooned around me for as long as I can remember. I thought she'd be ecstatic to get me." Saying that Jai bit back a sigh.

Told u na Guys ... They only think of themselves. So what actually is JW? God's greatest gift to womankind, this man is a confirmed Duffer. 😡

Pushkar whistled long and low. "Listen to yourself, guy. You sound as if you think she should fall down at your feet and praise the gods for dropping you in her lap. If I were in her place, I'd be steaming. You're lucky she still talks to you" said Pushkar angrily.

👏 Good brother Pushkar. At least he knows his sister better and that duffer too. 👏

"She'd better do some fast talking tonight. The police station is no place for my fiancee..." said Jai.

Ok, there he goes again. 😡

Pushkar shook his head and said "You're not getting it Jai. If you go in there all high and mighty and heavy handed, you'll just drive her further away."

Pushkar studied Jai for a minute and then asked him "Do you really want to marry my sister Jai?"

"Sure!" replied Jai. Confused, Jai looked at the younger man as he navigated the back roads down to Sunrise Boulevard. "Why do you ask Pushkar?"

"A brother is supposed to look out for his sister. Do you mean you want to really marry her, like till death-do-you-apart kind of marrying? Or do you mean that you want to marry her in name only to keep your inheritance?" asked Pushkar seriously.

👏 Very good Pushy. I really like you now. Spoken like a true brother.

"What kind of a question is that? You heard the ultimatum. Either we marry or I lose my inheritance and your parents will want to punish Bani too. It's to our mutual benefit..." said Jai.

Pushkar's lips twisted and he swore softly under his breath, turning away from Jai to look out his window at the rainy night.

"Hey! I'm making the ultimate sacrifice to help both of us, not just me..." said Jai on seeing Pushkar's expression.

So he's the Mahatma over here? Very good.

"I didn't realize how conceited you'd become Jai Walia. I should teach you a lesson for playing with my di's feelings this way" said Pushkar through gritted teeth.

"What way? She'll barely talk to me. I'm not lying to her. Bani knows where I stand" replied Jai.

Pushkar twisted in his seat. "Does she really know Jai? You've sworn not to give up till she's given into you. Are you sure you don't feel more for her than you say and show? Or have you turned into a real creep?" asked Pushkar.

Now thats a question I was itching to ask that Duffer. 😡

Creep? Was he being a creep? Jai was speechless. He was putting his relationship with Pia on the line to make their parents happy, help Bani save her inheritance and of course his too, give up three years of his life, and he was a creep? Jai voiced his opinion but it rang hollow in his own ears hearing it aloud.

How very convenient.

"So now you should be sainted for your noble thoughts and deeds? We should call you Saint Jai" Pushkar snorted. "Sorry if I don't share your opinion Jai."

Loved it absolutely. 👏

The rain pelted the car, making driving nearly impossible. What a horrible night. Normally it took half an hour to get downtown at this time of night, at most. Because of the weather, they'd already been on the road forty-five minutes. "Come on. Move it!" Finally Jai was able to turn onto Sunrise. The police station was only a few blocks ahead.

"I'm no saint" Jai said dryly. He'd always thought Bani was the saint. The perfect one. The one who never did anything wrong. The one who was allergic to trouble or causing bad feelings. So what had happened to make them switch places? He was ready to do their parents bidding and Bani was the one thwarting their plans and wishes. And she was in the county lock up causing all this worry and concern. Was she okay? Had they scared her? Had they hurt her? Those cops on the television shows didn't always look too gentle. He'd kill them if they hurt his Bani.

he's thinking of county cop SHows, well maybe he's better suited for Lacey, what say?

"A guy and a girl can be just friends …… but at one point or another one of them will fall for the other, maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late or maybe, just maybe ...........forever."

HUMOUR FOR THE DAY

12 Tips from junior employees to senior managers on how to enhance their relationship

1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:55 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.

2. If it's really a "rush job," run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That helps.

3. Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.

4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books or supplies, don't open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors is good training.

5. If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is the priority. Let me guess.

6. Do your best to keep me late. I like the office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do.

7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. Leaks like that could cost me a promotion.

8. If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversation.

9. If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done.

10. Never introduce me to the people you're with. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.

11. Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for you could really change your life.

12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it's nice to know someone is less fortunate.

Absolutely. You ask me and I will vouch for all these and more.

Chapter 9

"Dixit! You're being released. Move it quickly. I don't have all day." The portly prison matron regarded Bani as if she had eight legs and mandibles.

"What's the matter, matron?" One of the prostitutes said as she sidled up to the bars and stuck her nose through and curled her fingers around. Her fingernails looked to be two inches long – wicked things. "Late for your date with a Snicker's Bar?" she asked the grumpy matron.

The matron rapped the bars with her stick, narrowly missing the woman's knuckles. "Shut your trap. As long as you're behind these bars, you're mine" she snapped back.

"You wish!" The woman snickered. "I'm too much woman. You wouldn't know what to do with me" replied the prisoner.

"Crush you under my heel like the bug. That's what I'd do," the guard muttered under her breath as she opened the door to let Bani out.

Shivers ran down Bani's spine as she followed the guard dutifully, keeping her mouth shut. Pushkar was here, she was almost out. Hallejulah! This dingy, filthy concrete bunker gave her the heebie jeebies. Television didn't begin to portray how awful it was in reality. Bani had begun to think Pushkar wasn't coming it was taking him so long.

The police didn't believe her story and categorized her as a streetwalker. Since when had it become illegal to walk down a public sidewalk? Bani had not solicited anyone. She'd not broken any laws. But she'd have to hire an attorney to clear her name. Guilty until proven innocent. What a crock!

Light from a decent bulb blinded her as she was admitted to the main offices. Apparently these officers and people were of a higher caliber and rated decent light and quarters. Squinting, it took a few seconds for her eyes to focus.

When the starbursts subsided, Bani spied Pushkar barreling down on her, opening his arms wide. Jai followed at a more leisurely pace, practically swaggering, a conceited glint in his dark eyes.

"I've been worried sick about you, Di" said Pushkar, his hug almost suffocated her and she had to take an inventory of her ribs to ensure he hadn't crushed a few in his exuberance to see her. Luckily she was merely bruised, but nothing vital broken or cracked.

Bani squeezed him back and then extricated herself from his arms. "Watch out bro'. You pack quite a wallop. Maybe I should've taken my chances with tornado man" joked Bani.

"What tornado?" Pushkar wriggled his nose, perplexed. "You were in a tornado?" He looked her over again. "Is that why you look as if you've been to hell and back?"

"Thanks" said Bani dryly. Pushkar really knew how to inflate a girl's ego. Not really!

"No. I was just mugged by hail, rain, and a couple of police thugs. That's all" said Bani.

Jai sauntered up to Bani and kissed her on the cheek setting off a chain of nuclear explosions throughout her. Putting his hand on her elbow, he propelled her forward and said "Don't worry about another thing. I'm here to protect you now. Everything will be just fine. No one mistreats my fiance and lives."

Stopping dead in the center of the aisle, Bani glared at Jai and said "So you're my hero now? I need you to save me?"

Her arms clamped across her chest as she bristled. "Soooo, poor Bani needs rescuing?" Poking her finger at Jai's chest in the vicinity of his heart, she added, "We are not now and will never be engaged. Remember that brother."

"Bbbb bro…… brother? Again you called me that" blurted Jai angrily.

He then sighed deeply and hooked his thumbs in his jeans pockets. He looked around the room pointedly.

"Well I don't see Mr. Hotshot weatherman around to rescue you. And you did call us" he said to Bani.

Oh god …… Jai really thought he was God's gift to women, didn't he? Bani rolled her eyes and shook her head. "I called my real brother ……. You know the younger one named Pushkar ……… not you big brother."

"Ok forget that ……… so where is your weatherman?" Did Jai always have to push it, did he always have to have the last word? thought Bani.

She hesitated, then decided what the hell and spat it out. "If you mean, my date, he dropped me off at a gas station on some dark deserted street to go chase a tornado."

Both Jai and Pushkar stared at Bani dumbstruck, before smiles spread over their faces. "You got dumped for a weather system?" Pushkar snickered, covering his mouth with his hand, but his body still shook with mirth.

"I-I-I was scared" Bani finally admitted, dropping her eyes to study her bare stocking feet. Several toes stuck out her ruined hose and she wiggled them. "It was dark and deserted and lightning was striking so close, the thunder was so loud…" she tried to explain.

"And you still aren't happy to see us?" said Jai as he rubbed his chin and with a truly bewildered look in his eyes. "I thought you'd want to get out of this hell hole so badly that you'd be grateful" he added.

With a grunt, he slipped his arm around her shoulders despite the fact that she tensed and tried to shrug away from him.

Turning to pin Bani with his accusing gaze, Jai said, "I didn't know you'd be so ungrateful. Maybe we should let you stew for the night and see if you're any more beholding to us in the morning."

A huge sigh built in Bani's chest. Couldn't they just be friends anymore? Ever since their parent's pronouncement that they should marry, their easy comaraderie had disintegrated.

"I'm grateful" she screamed back, although if he said one more word about marriage, she just might march back downstairs and lock herself in the holding cell rather than have to put up with his tiresome badgering.

"Then how about showing some gratitude?" said Jai and he leaned forward, puckering up for a kiss.

Withdrawing from the proverbial slap in the face, she said, "Gawd! What's gotten into you lately Jai? We used to be friends. Why can't we just be friends again?"

"We are friends. But things evolve all the time. I don't know if we can ever go back to the way we were" replied Jai. Missing her lips, he kissed her cheek again. When his stubble scratched Bani's smooth skin, wildfire licked her flesh.

Bani pushed him away with the flat of her hand, vaguely aware they were drawing attention. "You sound like a movie that was bad the first time around without rehashing it. Everyone's watching us, stop it" mumbled Bani under her breath, trying to ignore the rapt looks they were getting from their erstwhile hosts and other guests.

"You're the one causing a fuss. I suggest you chill out and go with the flow. What's a little kiss between friends?" asked Jai.

"Are you two always so wearisome? No wonder you don't want to get married" said Pushkar while interrupting their little tiff.

"You'd bore each other to tears" he continued and pushed past Jai and Bani, his tennis shoes squeaking on the linoleum floor.

"Let's get this over with and quick. Police stations give me the creeps. You never know when they'll discover a million old parking tickets and throw the book at you" continued Pushkar.

A pair of police officers paused at his side. The woman lieutenant smiled and tapped Pushkar's shoulder and asked him "a million? What's your name, son? Maybe I should look them up?"

Pushkar froze, mortification etching his features. He gulped, and then his lips moved without sound. Finally, he said, "I was just joking officer."

The woman chuckled, lifting her brow. "Word to the wise. That's not a good joke in police headquarters. We're arrest happy, don't you know?"

Jai shoved Pushkar gently before him and said to him"come on, cowboy. I want to get out of here sometime this century if you don't mind. Maybe you should keep your trap shut and let me do the talking."

Bani shook her head and moaned. "Can't we just stop bickering and be friends? I'm so sick of all this fighting, evolution or not. Can't evolution be good?" she wondered.

Jai whispered in Bani's ear, his hot breath tickling her neck so that she shivered, "It can be very, very good. That's what I've been trying to show you. I have a proposition for you that I've been thinking about. How about we drop off the papoose at your place and I take you to a real dinner – no tornado chasing – and then I'll tell you all about it."

Bani eyed Jai warily. "No touching? Hands - and lips - off?" she demanded.

Jai crossed himself and made a Boy Scout sign. "Promise." Licking his lips, he added, "Unless you change your mind and want to add lips on."

"Not a chance for that, but I am pretty hungry. I've not had a bite since lunch. Take me for Mexican and we have a date" replied Bani. She winced when she realized she'd said date. She didn't want to give Jai the wrong idea and cause more problems. "I mean, an appointment." That sounded even more stupid than date. So Bani decided to shut up before she caused additional problems.

"As we drive along this road called life, occasionally a gal will find herself a little lost. And when that happens, I guess she has to let go of the coulda, shoulda, woulda, buckle up and just keep going."

Humour for the day

Newlywed repairs

A man came home from the office and found his new bride sobbing convulsively. "I feel terrible," she told him. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers."

"Oh, just forget it," consoled her husband. "Remember that I've got an extra pair of pants for that suit."

"Yes, I know. And it's lucky you have!" said the woman, drying her eyes. "I was able to use a piece from them to patch the hole!"

A man answers the phone.....

A man answers the phone and has the following conversation:

'Yes, mother, I've had a hard day. Gladys has been most difficult - I know I ought to be more firm, but it is hard. Well, you know how she is. Yes, I remember you warned me. I remember you told me that she was a vile creature who would make my life miserable and you begged me not to marry her. You were perfectly right. You want to speak with her? All right.'

He looks up from the telephone and calls to his wife in the next room, 'Gladys, your mother wants to talk to you!'

Originally posted by: btkr

Her date had turned into a rat and her carriage into a pumpkin. 😆 😆
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"You mean you'll get us thrown in there with her?" asked Pushkar .

Kahan se ye lines lati ho yaar.. Hilarious..

soch soch ke likhti hoon 😆

and btw, I am maroing some of your humor to forward to all my sahelis. Theek hai? Phir na kehna ke p* kiya.

u r more than welcome to share the humour with ur sahelis
👏 👏 👏

bt