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RAHUL GANDHI, THE FUTURE OF INDIAN POLITICS, RECENTLY REMARKED THAT HE IS TOO OLD FOR THIS COUNTRY, THE MAJORITY OF WHICH IS UNDER THE AGE OF 25.

HE WAS TALKING ABOUT INDIA TODAY, THE PRESENT GENERATION THAT IS READY TO STEP OUT IN THE OPEN AND ON THE VERGE OF SHAPING THE WORLD. THE IRONY IN THE STATEMENT COMING FROM THE HEIR APPARENT, ALL OF 35, WAS CLEARLY EVIDENT AS WERE MY GROWING YEARS.

Any solace I could afford myself is further crushed by my interviewee Prachi Desai today. As I innocuously wonder if it were the histrionics of Sridevi or Madhuri Dixit that filled her young heart with dreams, pat comes the reply, "Well, when I was growing up it was Preity Zinta that I looked up to." Suddenly I find myself sailing in the same boat as Preity Zinta; a boat that has sailed away past the Sunset. Gen X is pass; it's the Gen Y that's in charge of today and tomorrow.

All of 20, Prachi aka Bani of TV soaps is already a household name, has a house in bustling Bombay that bears her name and is geared up to leave her mark on the silver screen. Only when one gets over the angst about her making you feel like a fossil does one try and relate to her woes, her challenges.

But then you can't. 'Coz she has the same struggles, same battles as everyone else and she has to deal with them with her 20 year old mind. That's when the confident self gives way for nervous contradictions and a nascent kid wearing a grown up's mask comes to the fore. Our journey is unraveling the young girl who self-admittedly "lost a few years," in the hope of finding herself.

And find herself Prachi did, a place in every household thanks to her popular primetime soap. The wide reach and familiarity of TV actors in our Nation is unquestionable, as the audiences begin living their on screen lives as their own.

For the first time in my 8 years with the magazine my mom is overtly proud and happy about my job 'coz I'm meeting her favourite tele-screen bahu. I'm worried I might have to actually restrain her overflowing enthusiasm. But Bani oops Prachi isn't new to that.

SD: So, when you seemingly already have it all being a TV Diva, what's the lure of Bollywood?

PD: See, every princess wants to be a queen. When you are a princess you already have everything you want. But you still want to be the queen. There cannot be a justified reason for it. You know, even on TV you want to be a Tulsi or a Parvati, and once you get that then you want to be the Amitabh Bachchan of films.

When I was a kid I was crazy about TV soaps and I knew I wanted to be an actor. It didn't really matter if it was for TV or films. When I was doing TV I didn't want to leave it either 'coz it had given me a lot and I'd worked very hard for it. But when this chance to do 'Rock On' came to me I just couldn't let go of it. I guess somewhere in my mind I didn't want to restrict myself just to TV.

SD: So she does believe that she was moving to a bigger medium?

PD: You know people who are actually working in TV never think of it as being smaller to films. It's the people outside who keep saying that. TV has grown so much as a medium, the biggest of film stars are seen on TV today. I feel TV actors create a bond with the audiences, which is almost real. While even if you do two or three films, you still might not be noticed. That difference always remains. Maybe I'd have answered your question differently if I had this burning desire to make it into movies. But it was never like that.

Now that I have gotten this chance I am going to give my best to movies. It's not like 'I have gotten this film, I'll take this up and see what to do next'. No, whatever I do, I'll give it my 100 per cent. I am already doing my second film with Abbas-Mustan and keeping my fingers crossed.

SD: Doesn't the gharelu bahu image and stamp she carries come in her way of getting acceptance with Bollywood makers?

PD: It is a drawback, I agree. It is very tough to break out of it, when people have an image set in their minds. Not only filmmakers, I don't even know how audience is going to react to my character on big screen. I wonder if I'd be able to hold their interest in a 3 hour film, when they are used to seeing me in a 30 minute daily format. As for filmmakers, I am hoping most of them don't watch TV everyday.

Seriously though, when Gattu ('Rock On' director Abhishek Kapoor) asked me to do a look test for the film, I was thrilled. I was given a new haircut, was wearing less make-up. It made me feel young for a change and I was all over the place. Showing off my new look to people. And when Gattu saw me he was like, 'This is exactly how I'd envisioned you'. And I'm thinking, 'Really? How could he with my bahurani image? So I'm hoping filmmakers are capable of seeing me beyond the perceived image of me.

If I looked like anywhere close to what I did on TV nobody would have shown any curiosity in me. So I have to take an effort and show people that I can look different too .Even on my show or whenever I went out for an event I'd avoid wearing saris 'coz I didn't want to look much older than I am. Off screen I am just like any other college-going, jeans and T-shirt girl anyway, as hard it might be to believe, for some.

SD: Prachi was in fact just another college going girl when fame knocked on her door. Isn't 17 rather early to be able to deal with that kind of adulation? Housewives coming up to her and saying they wanted to be her?

PD: I'll just correct that. No one wanted to be me, they wanted to be Ram Kapoor's wife. They used to think he was this one hot guy.

SD: And she didn't think he was hot?

PD: I really didn't. I was just a 17 year old who didn't know what she was doing, was nervous that there were too many people around me and just wanted to go back to college. For the first week, all I wanted to do was run away. We were on the sets 24 hours, sleep had become a luxury.

I felt like people were punishing me. But slowly it became easier when I started getting the benefits of my job, money coming in, the awards, the fame. These things somehow make you forget all the pain and hard work you went through.

SD: Did she miss her college days, friends, the normal teenage growing up days?

PD: I still do. You always keep wishing that simple normal life comes back to you. I miss my friends and doing things that other 19 year olds do. There is nobody around me who is around my age, to talk about silly things, giggle about small, simple jokes.

I find it difficult to connect with people here. But at the same time I feel so lucky because my friends have to worry about their exams and they keep cribbing about it. I never really had this desire to study, so I'm very happy that I don't have to ever give exams again.

SD: She may talk like just another young one unburdened from studies and exams, but didn't she have to grow up too soon?

PD: I absolutely did. Sometimes I feel I am not normal you know. I have missed growing up with people my age. I feel I have lost a few years in my growing up process. When you are a professional, people don't really make allowances for your age. They treat you like they treat everybody else. So at times I felt like I was going crazy, I used to think this is not me.

There is a part of me, which is very childish and immature but there is a part of me that's grown up before it's time. That's just abnormal. You know I'll turn 20 soon, and suddenly I realise my whole teenage has gone. And those years are gone in trying to be like people who were around me, who were much older. And I had to cope up because I'd be nowhere otherwise.

SD: Does she find it a struggle sometimes within herself, to balance the two selves, to relate to the grown up in her?

PD: It is a huge struggle. You are trying to be something that you are not and you are trying to relate to something that you just can't relate to. And that's why you start giving yourself false answers and explanations for it. You know, suddenly from discussing 'how many pairs of shoes do you have?' with your friends, you are thinking about EMIs and taxes.

But at the same time it feels amazing to be able to run my house and look after my parents. That's why no matter how difficult it is, you can't give it up. My friends still have to worry about pocket money when I am thinking about how much more I can earn.

And I'm just happy to think that today my parents are happy. They didn't have an easy life, they were working parents, they were teachers. And they didn't really have all the luxuries. So it gives me immense satisfaction to be able to give them what they didn't have. And I know they are very proud of me.

SD: Coming from a background like she says she has, how has success changed her? Do the peripherals change the inner self? Does she begin to see herself the way others see her?

PD: For me the change in lifestyle has been more of a need. I can't travel by local transport anymore. So I bought myself a black Swift. It's the first car I bought and
I don't think I'd ever want to change it for any other swanky car in the world.
I'm so proud of my car. I don't care how I'd be projected if I own a small car.

I'm not embarrassed to get out of my small car when I go for a glamorous event. That doesn't change who I am or who I'd want to be. Earlier, one would have to choose between buying the silver bag like my friend had or watching a movie over the weekend. When you haven't grown in the lap of luxury, its not very difficult to keep focus on what you really are.

Today I have to worry about wearing branded shoes, carrying a good bag because people are watching. I can't come to terms with the fact that this has become a necessity. You have to spend crazy amounts to buy a dress for an event, which you can't even wear again because you've been photographed in it. I find that absurd and the expense, a criminal waste.

But I have to do that 'coz it's a part of my job. And it scares me to think that I'd get used to it. 'Coz one day you have it, one day you don't. And when you don't have it, you'd miss it. I keep telling myself, I can't make a habit of this life.

SD: Does she ever feel like going back to her simple roots at times, away from the pressure and this mad lust for fame and money?

PD: I do feel like going away at times. Usually that happens when you hit the bed and have time for yourself. When I feel there is too much pressure I think, 'why am I doing this?'. But then I have to remind myself that this is what I always wanted. It's very difficult for me to give it all up because I'll again be nobody, like I was. And I'd start feeling how I used to feel then. And that would be tough for me. Even if I harbour these thoughts about going away, leading an anonymous life, where will I go? What will I do? I've always believed that I am special and didn't want to be one of everyone else.

SD: How's she coping with the late nights and partying scene in the glamour world? Does she fit right in?

PD: That's something I really find difficult to adjust to. 'coz I have not led that kind of life before. When you grow up in that environment, its been a part of your life, then it is easy for you. But for me it's very difficult to socialise and try and make friends at a party, if such a thing can happen," she says directly. "Sometimes I feel, 'where have I come?' This is just not my world and I don't fit in. Maybe things change when you get to know people.

SD: Does Prachi think she can match up to the glamour girls of Bollywood?

PD: I don't really know," she says indecisively. "Not everyone can be as beautiful as Katrina or as hot as Kareena. Not everyone can be as cute and charming as Preity or as good an actress as Rani.

Each one of them has their own USP, I'm sure I have one too and I will find it in my own time. But I know I'm not very comfortable being hot and sexy because honestly I don't have it in me to project it. I don't even know how you do it. But that's okay you know, I don't really have to be like anybody.

SD: From being a top name in the TV industry to being just a new name in films, could she cope with the change in attitude on the sets?

PD: This time I could, you know, because that's how I had really started two years ago; from nowhere.

SD: And was she taken seriously on the sets? Did she get along with the boy band of Farhan Akhtar, Arjun and VJ turned actors Luke Kenny and Purab Kohli?

PD: See I'm not a difficult person, and even though I might not be able to relate to people instantly, I make an effort. Its true that I am awkward with people I don't know but I'm not a snob who'll sit in one corner with a book in her hand.

Farhan was great to work with, he has an amazing sense of humour and that would make me comfortable. I guess it was easier for the guys because they knew each other since earlier and had a lot in common, it was different for me.

thanks for sharing .. only prachi desai no other girls

Treat it like 'H2O' dahlings; essential for life. But the 'O2' here is the 'B'-for-Bollywood-the industry that's rocking its peers in Hollyland. So is our jet setting columnist MADHUREETA MUKHERJEE who is going places to dish out sizzling 'Hollywood to Bollywood' gossip first hand!

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