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hey people...
this is another short ff im writing...it'll be around 5-6 parts long. im pasting a prologue of sorts...tell me if you like it and then i'll continue..
Today was the happiest day of her life. Gauri couldn't help smiling ear to ear. She gauri chatterjee was getting married today. As her friends and sister adorned her with jewels and other accessories, her aunt came in and looked at her with tears glistening in her eyes. Gauri….you look more beautiful than anyone….the glow on your face is putting all these jewels to shame..if only your mother was here today to see you.
" Maashi ma….you've filled every void of ma in our life. We all miss ma….but you are more than a mother to me."
As her aunt left the room, gauri glanced at the mirror….it was true….she looked breathtakingly gorgeous. Her cheeks were rosy , her eyes twinkled….her smile was perfect. That was it….she looked perfect. And why shouldn't she….?? Her dream was finally coming true. She was getting married to the love of her life. She fingered the SG pendant on her neck which was held by a thin gold chain. He had given it to her while he proposed. His parents were ecstatic about the match…..her father beyond happy. After all she was getting married to his best friend's son.
"didi….they are calling you downstairs…Its time."
The sound of firecrackers and band music simultaneously were a hint of the joyous mirth of the people below. The halls were decked in the prettiest of flowers all hand picked by Nikhila Kapoor for her son's wedding. The aroma of the food was making the guests wonder in anticipation. The scene looked something out of a royal wedding. The kapoors had left no stone un turned.
She felt butterflies in her stomach as she got up. Her friends whistled after they placed the ghoongat on her head. As they took her downstairs and made her sit in the mandap, she looked sideways to sneak a glance at him. He looked so handsome in that cream sherwani. Good looks ran in his family. Mahen papa was so handsome….and badi maa was a diva.
As they proceeded with the rituals, she noticed someone enter….it was his brother. He was late….she waved at him.
As he waved back at the couple he felt a lump rising up his throat. He had loved her his entire life…but she was in love with his brother.
He looked over to the side and noticed the board adorned with flowers….
SHASHANK WEDS GAURI.
PART ONE
It was three years since gauri and shashank were married. She was happier than she ever was. She had a doting husband, busy life….she was happy . life which gave her so much had also taken away from her two people she loved immensely. Her father and her father in law. They had expired in a car crash while going for a business meeting. Two staunch figures in her life had perished together. But time and shashank's support had gotten her over her grief. Baadi maa now lived in pune in their farm house. She and shashank lived in Mumbai where his software company was booming. Gauri worked as an interior decorator. Her little world was filled with happiness and was almost complete.
The news gauri was waiting for came one day before her birthday, she could think of no better gift for herself and her husband. She was pregnant. They were going to have a baby. It seemed like she was waiting for this day for ever. The thought of having a part of her breathe within her was overwhelming. She couldn't wait to tell shashank. She rushed to his office and gave him the good news. The joy that it bought to his face made gauri wish she had a camera to capture it. He picked her up and swirled her in his arms the laughter not leaving his face. Finally their family was complete.
" Badi maa…I told you that we were going to name the baby after bade papa if hes a boy.
No…we aren't doing it as any favour to you. Its my wish…so please don't start again !!...yes I am regularly going for my medical check ups. I eat well…exercise well…yes yes…I do all of that. Badi maa…u must stop worrying so much…!!
How is shiv ?? oh hes shifted his practice to pune ?? that's great….Na…he hardly ever calls. So he lives with you ? at his clinic….thats so much like him !! Well I have to leave for work now. I'll call you tomo. Take care…bye."
Gauri couldn't understand what her gynecologist was telling her. Or maybe she didn't want to. She couldn't believe this was happening to her. She had to clutch shashank's arm to steady herself. She couldn't bear to look at him. The doctor was continuing with her report. Their baby had fluid seeping into the brain. This would cause serious neurological damage and her child would never be able to walk or talk. Her child would barely live up to the age of 10.
As they walked to the parking lot, shashank told her…."so when do we schedule the abortion ??"
She stopped dead in her tracks. She spun around to see him looking at her intently.
Shashank…..what are you talking about ??
Gauri….didnt you hear the doctor ? our baby will never be able to walk or talk or cry. Do you want such a child ? we can have other kids gauri….healthy kids.
But I want this one shashank !
She was crying now. She couldn't believe what he was saying ! how could he even think that she'd get rid of her baby.
'gauri….i've told you what I want and I stand by it. I cant deal with a sick and invalid child. You must choose."
He left her standing in the parking lot and drove away.
Two weeks later shashank moved out leaving her all alone. Gauri picked up her phone and dialed.
"badi maa….
PART TWO
Gauri shifted to pune following her phone call to nikhila. Nikhila welcomed her with open arms as if she were her own daughter. Nikhila couldn't believe that her son had done such a thing. The cowardice in him angered her. Leaving gauri alone during such an ordeal filled her with disgust.
Gauri spent most of her time moping. She didn't know what to do when shashank left her. She kept thinking that it was a bad dream and when she woke up all would be right. On an instinct she had called up badi maa who immediately came to pick her up. Her days passed in a blur and after about two weeks she had a visitor.
As they sat across the table facing each other shiv spoke…
" Shashank came to see me last week".
She looked up expectantly a sliver of hope shining in her eyes.
" he gave me your reports….i had sent it to my friends. The prognosis is the same…your child wont be able to walk or talk. She/he would need your support for ever. Chances are that your baby wont survive child birth. And if it does the lifetime of your child will be small. Say 4-5 years".
"so he sent you to tell me to abort the child ?"
"that's not my place to say".
Will my child be in pain ?
Sometimes yes…other times no. I wont deny that the child will need your care always. It'll be frustrating. It wont be easy is what im saying gauri. But…..if you decide to go through with this. I could be your doctor. I will help you with it. But you have to be sure. This isn't something that you'll give up if you don't like later, I'll give you time to decide.
"I don't need time shiv. I want this child. And I'll take care of my baby even if I have to spend my entire time doing it.
After a little thought gauri said….he truly isn't coming back ?
Gauri….maybe you should try to talk to him. Make him understand how you feel.
He knows perfectly well how I feel. He wanted a perfect child and when he wasn't getting one he backed out. Do you know how much it hurts.
If badi maa wasn't here I don't know what I'd do. Now you are here….my baby's entire family is present except the most important person….the father.
Wiping her eyes she stood up as if with a new resolve. "thank you shiv.. I would like you to be my child's doctor".
No problem at all….after all my niece is a special person.
Niece??? shes a girl ?? gauri asked her eyes filling up with tears. She was going to have a baby girl.
Badi maa…did you hear that ? Im going to have a girl !!
Her mother in law had already turned away to wipe the tears flowing down her cheeks.
She kept repeating to herself. My girl.
A cry awoke her in the night….gauri woke up with a start. Kavya was crying…she rushed to her daughter to calm her. She was bawling on the top of her voice. Gauri picked her up and sat her on her knee and began rocking her on her knee…
"Hush lil baby don't say a word…Mammas gonna buy you a mocking bird.
If that mocking bird don't sing…mammas gonna buy you a diamond ring"
she kept singing till kavya went back to sleep. Putting her in her cradle gauri looked at the time. 2.30 A.M. She couldn't remember what she had been dreaming about. It had something to do with shashank. She walked to the kitchen to make herself some coffee.
The past four years had been the same….she kept waking at weird hours of the morning because her daughter needed her. But she wasn't complaining. Her daughter gave her so much joy it didnt matter.
She looked at the date….Today was supposed to be her eight wedding anniversary. Though she had long since gotten a divorce.. she couldn't get shashank out of her head. He had never asked if they had a boy or girl…he never came to see their child. He sent her cheques for the medical care none of which she had cashed. She was capable enough to take care of her daughter without money from her non existent dad.
She headed back to bed taking one last glance at kavya's cradle across the room. Tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow she had to go for kavya's checkup.
Baby we are going to meet shiv chachu tomo. You like that don't you….
Shiv had a beautiful bond with kavya. They shared some weird conversations which only shiv understood. This despite the fact that kavya couldn't speak. But she knew the smile which crept up on kavya's face when she saw shiv.
Sighing she thought that her uncle was there while her father wasn't. as for her….gauri stayed as distant from shiv as possible. Everything about him reminded her about shashank. His height, his voice, his mannerisms.
Though badi maa kept refuting all of these. They are my sons. Shiv is so different from shashank….you are just being paranoid. This was badi maa's favorite argument. She knew that over the years badi maa wanted her to get married to shiv. But she didn't want it…any of it. Marriage was just wasn't for her. She was happy where she was.
She , her mother and her daughter. One family.
PART THREE
So….is she alright… ?
Well she certainly is better than last time. Her lungs are clearer.
Her eyes opened up wide….full of hope.
It maybe nothing. But it could be something…she hasn't ceased to surprise us in the past four years…shes a tough little cookie and she'll never let me down.
Now take her away so that I can go attend to someone who is actually sick. Off you go ladies.
As she picked up her daughter, shiv asked her….
"why don't you take care of yourself ??"
What do you mean ? I'm perfectly fine.
"Gauri…you are all skin and bones. Your eyes are puffy clearly indicating lack of sleep. The dark circles looming underneath , well it makes u look like 50 instead of 30 !!
"all im saying is that, you deserve a break too. Why don't you leave kavya with us for a few days and go visit kaya ?
Gauri immediately flared up…look I appreciate your concern…but im doing perfectly okay. Ma helps me with kavya…I do my job in the hours that she sleeps. But like you once told me…she'll need my constant care. So im not leaving her alone and running off !! I can handle my self .
While serving dinner, badi maa kept looking at the clock….
What is it…who are you waiting for ?
Why…shiv of course.. didn't you invite him for dinner ? I specifically told you to do so.
Her mother in law was standing with a "what is wrong with you" look on her face.
Gauri didn't know what to say….In her argument with him, she had totally forgotten to invite him over.
Did you tell him or not ??
No. we had an argument…
Why ?? what is the matter with you girl ? you do know he cares about you right ?
Well….next time you invite him. You know im not comfortable around him. Yet you keep pushing.. maa…I'll never marry him.
Don't take that tone with me !!! Its his birthday today and I just wanted him at home. Im sorry if its too much to ask. Saying this she stormed off leaving gauri wallowing in guilt.
She felt wretched !! she didn't want to anger nikhila…but this was unprecedented. She had just thought tht this was another plan to bring her close to shiv. Damn…she was way off this time. She had rarely seen nikhila get angry…especially when it came to her. Wondering how to mend broken fences she kept pacing in her room. On an instinct she picked up her keys….kavya was asleep, she quickly stepped out of the house.
He was lying on the couch flipping listlessly through the channels but not paying any attention to the flickering images in front of him. His mind was all on what had happened that morning. His intention wasn't to anger her…just to de stress her. But everything had gone wrong. Gauri was mad at him. She was always on formal terms with him, he knew his mom had tried umpteen number of times. But it hadn't worked. He didn't make any attempt himself….he respected her decision and if formal was she wanted….formal was what she'd get. His mother on the other hand was on some shiv-gauri mission and she thought each was as indifferent to the other. Little did she know that he loved gauri more than anyone in the world. He always had…for a while he thought it was understood. But when she got married to his brother…he realized how wrong he was. He should have said something earlier a tiny voice in his head kept chiding him from time to time. It wasn't too late either, it kept telling him. But he ignored the voice. He wasn't about to ruin what little he had with her. Plus if something went wrong….she would take kavya away from him. That he couldn't deal with. His little niece was the world to him. He loved the way her face lighted up when he carried her or tickled her. He loved his little rendezvous with her. He looked forward to her appointment every week. She was a breath of fresh air in his life. He had taken her out a few times on his own and those had been the best days of his life. Whether it was feeding her ice cream, or just sitting with her in his arms to look at the sunset, shiv loved it all. Kavya was like a daughter to him. He had often seen the wistful look in gauri's eyes when he was playing with her….she was thinking about shashank….it pained him that she still hoped his brother would come back to his daughter. He refrained from mentioning shashank's name in front of her, but he knew that though she refuted it all….she still hoped he'd be back one day.
The door bell ringing continuously woke him up. He hadn't realized he had fallen asleep on the couch. It was 11.30 pm…who could it be at this time ?
He opened the door to find gauri at the door. Concern immediately flooded him.
Has she had another seizure ?? wait I'll just get my kit. Hang on…two mins.
Huh…? Realizing he was asking about kavya…gauri broke out of her daze and nodded her head…she had been practicing her apology throughout in the car and it struck her now that her coming at this hour was an obvious indication that kavya was ill. A surge of respect and affection for him flooded through her as she proceeded to explain.
No shiv…kavya's fine. I came here to meet you…
A bemused shiv, opened the door completely and let her in.
She had never been to his house. It was a total bachelor's pad. He had leather couches of a deep burgundy color. The entire room was strewn with medical magazines. His tv was switched on to some random channel.
Sit down…I'll get you some water.
She sat down and took the rest of the room in. what caught her eye was three photographs…on top of the television. All were black and white…one was of her in laws when they were young.. the second was a recent photo of kavya laughing. It captured her innocence perfectly. She remembered the day when it was taken..shiv had come over and was playing with her girl…and kavya was laughing throughout. He had immediately clicked a picture of it. She didn't know that he had blown it up and kept it in his room. and the third one was one which captivated her the most. It was a photograph of her and kavya…asleep on the chair. Kavya had her tiny fingers curled into her own hands. Her eyes welled up with tears…she didn't know when he had taken this picture….she herself didn't have it. It was the most beautiful picture ever. This one too had been enlarged and stood majestically atop the electrical box.
The clearing of his throat gave her a chance to wipe away her tears….she looked around at him silently.
"My favorite photograph…I'm sorry I didn't ask before clicking…but it was just something I couldn't not capture. You both look so perfect together. The only reason I didn't tell you was cos I was afraid you'd ask me for a copy….and that im afraid I cant give you….So did you have something to tell me ?
She was still staring at him…he repeated his question and the second time she heard it.
Ya…well I wanted to apologize for my behaviour this morning. It was totally uncalled for and stupid of me. All you've done is be nice to me…and here I am telling you off. I really am sorry shiv.
Well…I certainly had expected a better apology…something which involved you begging on your knees….but looks like this is all im getting. So apology accepted.
She smiled despite herself and added as an afterthought…
As a birthday present….I'm letting you keep that photo without asking for a copy. Let me tell you…in other circumstances I would have just run away with it. But… Happy birthday…and thank you for everything.
My pleasure.
PART FOUR...
Her head felt heavy….she felt groggy….she was unable to open her eyes fully. When she could…she didn't recognize her surroundings at all. She had needles running through her…her foot was in a cast. She could most definitely feel a bandage on her head…and various bruises on her arms…..then she remembered….the accident.
She had been in a car which was taking her to Mumbai. After all these years she had taken up an assignment which required her to go out of pune…but it was only cos the couple were dear friends of her mother. She had left kavya in nikhila and shiv's charge. Fretting continually she actually was counting the hours to when she'd get back tp pune..and she hadn't even left its borders so to speak. Then that water tanker…last she remembered was her screaming and flashes of kavya. She woke up in this hospital….today….what day was today ?? how long had she been like this…did her family know she was here….she needed to get somebody….wasnt there a damn alarm in this room…?? She finally found one at the side of her bed…and hit the button. A nurse lazily walked in and looked at her. She then comprehended that gauri was awake….and said to her…wait I'll get your husband. Before gauri could say….i don't have a husband…the nurse was out.
Maybe it was shiv….heaven knows that a lot of people had mistaken him to be her husband before. One thing which she noticed was the moment this thought hit her mind…her entire body relaxed…it wasn't a conscious thing….it just happened. But the very next moment…she clenched the sides of her bed. Cos the person walking towards her…wasn't shiv…it was shashank….!
Shiv was feeling wretched…as he saw shashank proceed towards her room. He had immediately risen when the nurse had said she was awake..but then when he started to go towards the room, she had calmly said…not you Dr. Kapoor…Mr. Kapoor.
He had been in his clinic when the phone rang…it was shashank on the other line…gauri met with an accident…come quick.
He left immediately calling his mother on the way and explaining whatever he knew…telling her to take care of kavya.
All throughout his journey he kept wondering….how did shashank reach there. He was waiting for the elevator when shashank stepped out of it.
"shiv…you reached.."
Ya…how is she ? what happened ? how did u get here ??
Shes fine…has hurt her foot…possibly the knee…is unconscious now… the hospital found my card in her bag..so they called me. Satisfied ?
Shiv just threw him a dirty look and rushed up…."ROOM 505…" shashank yelled as the doors shut.
He felt a knife go through him when he saw her lying there…cuts and bruises…head bandaged…she didn't deserve this. Hadn't she suffered enough already. He ran his hands along the lines of her face…and slowly stepped away. He talked to the doctors and learnt that she was bought in by a few locals along the Mumbai pune highway. Her car had been involved in an accident with a water tanker when the latter had skidded off the road. She had fractured her foot and torn some ligaments below her knee. She would probably be out till next morning as she was heavily sedated. Then they'd run further tests to determine if she had concussion or other internal injuries. Shiv trudged along the corridor and called his mum with the latest update. Then with a stoic expression walked to where he knew shashank would be.
The cafeteria was empty save a few people. He saw shashank sitting at the far end of the room drinking coffee and eating something. He sat in the chair opposite him, and pulled his plate towards himself and began eating…
"I could order something for you….you don't have to snatch my plate…will you have something else ?"
"coffee….black.
After a few minutes of silence…shiv spoke again..
How have you been ?
Me…im doing good…business is good. I travel around the world. Just got back two days ago. What about you… ? hows your work ?
Well…its good…I see about twenty patients a day…this one is one of them.
Shashank chuckled ….you carry the picture of your patients ?? but immediately shut up when he saw the picture. It was a picture of gauri and a little girl on a swing….laughing.
This one also happens to be my niece….and your daughter.
Why are you telling me this ??
Im trying to get it through your thick skull on how much you missed out…!! Do you know her name ?....kavya.
Do you know how many teeth she has…if she can smile ? if she can talk ? whats her favorite song…her favorite chocolate ?....her favorite color ? Nothing…
Hey…I had made it clear before. And I have been sending gauri cheques…
Well had u checked your account which im sure you have…you'll know gauri hasn't cashed a single one. !! shashank…your daughter is an angel…how could you justify your actions. You missed out four years of her life…and now she hasn't much left…
"How much more ?"
" Six months to a year max….kavya is the brightest thing on the planet…and she makes us all happy. You missed out bro…and im glad I am a part of her life….i'll take that..."he put out his hand for the photograph.
Shashank quietly handed it back…..when shiv rose to leave…he said …so are you telling everyone gauri is your wife now…or is It just understood ???
Shiv punched him and left.
Sitting on the sofa now…he waited to go meet gauri. Her husband was inside with her…shasank was with gauri.
this is another short ff im writing...it'll be around 5-6 parts long. im pasting a prologue of sorts...tell me if you like it and then i'll continue..
Today was the happiest day of her life. Gauri couldn't help smiling ear to ear. She gauri chatterjee was getting married today. As her friends and sister adorned her with jewels and other accessories, her aunt came in and looked at her with tears glistening in her eyes. Gauri….you look more beautiful than anyone….the glow on your face is putting all these jewels to shame..if only your mother was here today to see you.
" Maashi ma….you've filled every void of ma in our life. We all miss ma….but you are more than a mother to me."
As her aunt left the room, gauri glanced at the mirror….it was true….she looked breathtakingly gorgeous. Her cheeks were rosy , her eyes twinkled….her smile was perfect. That was it….she looked perfect. And why shouldn't she….?? Her dream was finally coming true. She was getting married to the love of her life. She fingered the SG pendant on her neck which was held by a thin gold chain. He had given it to her while he proposed. His parents were ecstatic about the match…..her father beyond happy. After all she was getting married to his best friend's son.
"didi….they are calling you downstairs…Its time."
The sound of firecrackers and band music simultaneously were a hint of the joyous mirth of the people below. The halls were decked in the prettiest of flowers all hand picked by Nikhila Kapoor for her son's wedding. The aroma of the food was making the guests wonder in anticipation. The scene looked something out of a royal wedding. The kapoors had left no stone un turned.
She felt butterflies in her stomach as she got up. Her friends whistled after they placed the ghoongat on her head. As they took her downstairs and made her sit in the mandap, she looked sideways to sneak a glance at him. He looked so handsome in that cream sherwani. Good looks ran in his family. Mahen papa was so handsome….and badi maa was a diva.
As they proceeded with the rituals, she noticed someone enter….it was his brother. He was late….she waved at him.
As he waved back at the couple he felt a lump rising up his throat. He had loved her his entire life…but she was in love with his brother.
He looked over to the side and noticed the board adorned with flowers….
SHASHANK WEDS GAURI.
PART ONE
It was three years since gauri and shashank were married. She was happier than she ever was. She had a doting husband, busy life….she was happy . life which gave her so much had also taken away from her two people she loved immensely. Her father and her father in law. They had expired in a car crash while going for a business meeting. Two staunch figures in her life had perished together. But time and shashank's support had gotten her over her grief. Baadi maa now lived in pune in their farm house. She and shashank lived in Mumbai where his software company was booming. Gauri worked as an interior decorator. Her little world was filled with happiness and was almost complete.
The news gauri was waiting for came one day before her birthday, she could think of no better gift for herself and her husband. She was pregnant. They were going to have a baby. It seemed like she was waiting for this day for ever. The thought of having a part of her breathe within her was overwhelming. She couldn't wait to tell shashank. She rushed to his office and gave him the good news. The joy that it bought to his face made gauri wish she had a camera to capture it. He picked her up and swirled her in his arms the laughter not leaving his face. Finally their family was complete.
" Badi maa…I told you that we were going to name the baby after bade papa if hes a boy.
No…we aren't doing it as any favour to you. Its my wish…so please don't start again !!...yes I am regularly going for my medical check ups. I eat well…exercise well…yes yes…I do all of that. Badi maa…u must stop worrying so much…!!
How is shiv ?? oh hes shifted his practice to pune ?? that's great….Na…he hardly ever calls. So he lives with you ? at his clinic….thats so much like him !! Well I have to leave for work now. I'll call you tomo. Take care…bye."
Gauri couldn't understand what her gynecologist was telling her. Or maybe she didn't want to. She couldn't believe this was happening to her. She had to clutch shashank's arm to steady herself. She couldn't bear to look at him. The doctor was continuing with her report. Their baby had fluid seeping into the brain. This would cause serious neurological damage and her child would never be able to walk or talk. Her child would barely live up to the age of 10.
As they walked to the parking lot, shashank told her…."so when do we schedule the abortion ??"
She stopped dead in her tracks. She spun around to see him looking at her intently.
Shashank…..what are you talking about ??
Gauri….didnt you hear the doctor ? our baby will never be able to walk or talk or cry. Do you want such a child ? we can have other kids gauri….healthy kids.
But I want this one shashank !
She was crying now. She couldn't believe what he was saying ! how could he even think that she'd get rid of her baby.
'gauri….i've told you what I want and I stand by it. I cant deal with a sick and invalid child. You must choose."
He left her standing in the parking lot and drove away.
Two weeks later shashank moved out leaving her all alone. Gauri picked up her phone and dialed.
"badi maa….
PART TWO
Gauri shifted to pune following her phone call to nikhila. Nikhila welcomed her with open arms as if she were her own daughter. Nikhila couldn't believe that her son had done such a thing. The cowardice in him angered her. Leaving gauri alone during such an ordeal filled her with disgust.
Gauri spent most of her time moping. She didn't know what to do when shashank left her. She kept thinking that it was a bad dream and when she woke up all would be right. On an instinct she had called up badi maa who immediately came to pick her up. Her days passed in a blur and after about two weeks she had a visitor.
As they sat across the table facing each other shiv spoke…
" Shashank came to see me last week".
She looked up expectantly a sliver of hope shining in her eyes.
" he gave me your reports….i had sent it to my friends. The prognosis is the same…your child wont be able to walk or talk. She/he would need your support for ever. Chances are that your baby wont survive child birth. And if it does the lifetime of your child will be small. Say 4-5 years".
"so he sent you to tell me to abort the child ?"
"that's not my place to say".
Will my child be in pain ?
Sometimes yes…other times no. I wont deny that the child will need your care always. It'll be frustrating. It wont be easy is what im saying gauri. But…..if you decide to go through with this. I could be your doctor. I will help you with it. But you have to be sure. This isn't something that you'll give up if you don't like later, I'll give you time to decide.
"I don't need time shiv. I want this child. And I'll take care of my baby even if I have to spend my entire time doing it.
After a little thought gauri said….he truly isn't coming back ?
Gauri….maybe you should try to talk to him. Make him understand how you feel.
He knows perfectly well how I feel. He wanted a perfect child and when he wasn't getting one he backed out. Do you know how much it hurts.
If badi maa wasn't here I don't know what I'd do. Now you are here….my baby's entire family is present except the most important person….the father.
Wiping her eyes she stood up as if with a new resolve. "thank you shiv.. I would like you to be my child's doctor".
No problem at all….after all my niece is a special person.
Niece??? shes a girl ?? gauri asked her eyes filling up with tears. She was going to have a baby girl.
Badi maa…did you hear that ? Im going to have a girl !!
Her mother in law had already turned away to wipe the tears flowing down her cheeks.
She kept repeating to herself. My girl.
A cry awoke her in the night….gauri woke up with a start. Kavya was crying…she rushed to her daughter to calm her. She was bawling on the top of her voice. Gauri picked her up and sat her on her knee and began rocking her on her knee…
"Hush lil baby don't say a word…Mammas gonna buy you a mocking bird.
If that mocking bird don't sing…mammas gonna buy you a diamond ring"
she kept singing till kavya went back to sleep. Putting her in her cradle gauri looked at the time. 2.30 A.M. She couldn't remember what she had been dreaming about. It had something to do with shashank. She walked to the kitchen to make herself some coffee.
The past four years had been the same….she kept waking at weird hours of the morning because her daughter needed her. But she wasn't complaining. Her daughter gave her so much joy it didnt matter.
She looked at the date….Today was supposed to be her eight wedding anniversary. Though she had long since gotten a divorce.. she couldn't get shashank out of her head. He had never asked if they had a boy or girl…he never came to see their child. He sent her cheques for the medical care none of which she had cashed. She was capable enough to take care of her daughter without money from her non existent dad.
She headed back to bed taking one last glance at kavya's cradle across the room. Tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow she had to go for kavya's checkup.
Baby we are going to meet shiv chachu tomo. You like that don't you….
Shiv had a beautiful bond with kavya. They shared some weird conversations which only shiv understood. This despite the fact that kavya couldn't speak. But she knew the smile which crept up on kavya's face when she saw shiv.
Sighing she thought that her uncle was there while her father wasn't. as for her….gauri stayed as distant from shiv as possible. Everything about him reminded her about shashank. His height, his voice, his mannerisms.
Though badi maa kept refuting all of these. They are my sons. Shiv is so different from shashank….you are just being paranoid. This was badi maa's favorite argument. She knew that over the years badi maa wanted her to get married to shiv. But she didn't want it…any of it. Marriage was just wasn't for her. She was happy where she was.
She , her mother and her daughter. One family.
PART THREE
So….is she alright… ?
Well she certainly is better than last time. Her lungs are clearer.
Her eyes opened up wide….full of hope.
It maybe nothing. But it could be something…she hasn't ceased to surprise us in the past four years…shes a tough little cookie and she'll never let me down.
Now take her away so that I can go attend to someone who is actually sick. Off you go ladies.
As she picked up her daughter, shiv asked her….
"why don't you take care of yourself ??"
What do you mean ? I'm perfectly fine.
"Gauri…you are all skin and bones. Your eyes are puffy clearly indicating lack of sleep. The dark circles looming underneath , well it makes u look like 50 instead of 30 !!
"all im saying is that, you deserve a break too. Why don't you leave kavya with us for a few days and go visit kaya ?
Gauri immediately flared up…look I appreciate your concern…but im doing perfectly okay. Ma helps me with kavya…I do my job in the hours that she sleeps. But like you once told me…she'll need my constant care. So im not leaving her alone and running off !! I can handle my self .
While serving dinner, badi maa kept looking at the clock….
What is it…who are you waiting for ?
Why…shiv of course.. didn't you invite him for dinner ? I specifically told you to do so.
Her mother in law was standing with a "what is wrong with you" look on her face.
Gauri didn't know what to say….In her argument with him, she had totally forgotten to invite him over.
Did you tell him or not ??
No. we had an argument…
Why ?? what is the matter with you girl ? you do know he cares about you right ?
Well….next time you invite him. You know im not comfortable around him. Yet you keep pushing.. maa…I'll never marry him.
Don't take that tone with me !!! Its his birthday today and I just wanted him at home. Im sorry if its too much to ask. Saying this she stormed off leaving gauri wallowing in guilt.
She felt wretched !! she didn't want to anger nikhila…but this was unprecedented. She had just thought tht this was another plan to bring her close to shiv. Damn…she was way off this time. She had rarely seen nikhila get angry…especially when it came to her. Wondering how to mend broken fences she kept pacing in her room. On an instinct she picked up her keys….kavya was asleep, she quickly stepped out of the house.
He was lying on the couch flipping listlessly through the channels but not paying any attention to the flickering images in front of him. His mind was all on what had happened that morning. His intention wasn't to anger her…just to de stress her. But everything had gone wrong. Gauri was mad at him. She was always on formal terms with him, he knew his mom had tried umpteen number of times. But it hadn't worked. He didn't make any attempt himself….he respected her decision and if formal was she wanted….formal was what she'd get. His mother on the other hand was on some shiv-gauri mission and she thought each was as indifferent to the other. Little did she know that he loved gauri more than anyone in the world. He always had…for a while he thought it was understood. But when she got married to his brother…he realized how wrong he was. He should have said something earlier a tiny voice in his head kept chiding him from time to time. It wasn't too late either, it kept telling him. But he ignored the voice. He wasn't about to ruin what little he had with her. Plus if something went wrong….she would take kavya away from him. That he couldn't deal with. His little niece was the world to him. He loved the way her face lighted up when he carried her or tickled her. He loved his little rendezvous with her. He looked forward to her appointment every week. She was a breath of fresh air in his life. He had taken her out a few times on his own and those had been the best days of his life. Whether it was feeding her ice cream, or just sitting with her in his arms to look at the sunset, shiv loved it all. Kavya was like a daughter to him. He had often seen the wistful look in gauri's eyes when he was playing with her….she was thinking about shashank….it pained him that she still hoped his brother would come back to his daughter. He refrained from mentioning shashank's name in front of her, but he knew that though she refuted it all….she still hoped he'd be back one day.
The door bell ringing continuously woke him up. He hadn't realized he had fallen asleep on the couch. It was 11.30 pm…who could it be at this time ?
He opened the door to find gauri at the door. Concern immediately flooded him.
Has she had another seizure ?? wait I'll just get my kit. Hang on…two mins.
Huh…? Realizing he was asking about kavya…gauri broke out of her daze and nodded her head…she had been practicing her apology throughout in the car and it struck her now that her coming at this hour was an obvious indication that kavya was ill. A surge of respect and affection for him flooded through her as she proceeded to explain.
No shiv…kavya's fine. I came here to meet you…
A bemused shiv, opened the door completely and let her in.
She had never been to his house. It was a total bachelor's pad. He had leather couches of a deep burgundy color. The entire room was strewn with medical magazines. His tv was switched on to some random channel.
Sit down…I'll get you some water.
She sat down and took the rest of the room in. what caught her eye was three photographs…on top of the television. All were black and white…one was of her in laws when they were young.. the second was a recent photo of kavya laughing. It captured her innocence perfectly. She remembered the day when it was taken..shiv had come over and was playing with her girl…and kavya was laughing throughout. He had immediately clicked a picture of it. She didn't know that he had blown it up and kept it in his room. and the third one was one which captivated her the most. It was a photograph of her and kavya…asleep on the chair. Kavya had her tiny fingers curled into her own hands. Her eyes welled up with tears…she didn't know when he had taken this picture….she herself didn't have it. It was the most beautiful picture ever. This one too had been enlarged and stood majestically atop the electrical box.
The clearing of his throat gave her a chance to wipe away her tears….she looked around at him silently.
"My favorite photograph…I'm sorry I didn't ask before clicking…but it was just something I couldn't not capture. You both look so perfect together. The only reason I didn't tell you was cos I was afraid you'd ask me for a copy….and that im afraid I cant give you….So did you have something to tell me ?
She was still staring at him…he repeated his question and the second time she heard it.
Ya…well I wanted to apologize for my behaviour this morning. It was totally uncalled for and stupid of me. All you've done is be nice to me…and here I am telling you off. I really am sorry shiv.
Well…I certainly had expected a better apology…something which involved you begging on your knees….but looks like this is all im getting. So apology accepted.
She smiled despite herself and added as an afterthought…
As a birthday present….I'm letting you keep that photo without asking for a copy. Let me tell you…in other circumstances I would have just run away with it. But… Happy birthday…and thank you for everything.
My pleasure.
PART FOUR...
Her head felt heavy….she felt groggy….she was unable to open her eyes fully. When she could…she didn't recognize her surroundings at all. She had needles running through her…her foot was in a cast. She could most definitely feel a bandage on her head…and various bruises on her arms…..then she remembered….the accident.
She had been in a car which was taking her to Mumbai. After all these years she had taken up an assignment which required her to go out of pune…but it was only cos the couple were dear friends of her mother. She had left kavya in nikhila and shiv's charge. Fretting continually she actually was counting the hours to when she'd get back tp pune..and she hadn't even left its borders so to speak. Then that water tanker…last she remembered was her screaming and flashes of kavya. She woke up in this hospital….today….what day was today ?? how long had she been like this…did her family know she was here….she needed to get somebody….wasnt there a damn alarm in this room…?? She finally found one at the side of her bed…and hit the button. A nurse lazily walked in and looked at her. She then comprehended that gauri was awake….and said to her…wait I'll get your husband. Before gauri could say….i don't have a husband…the nurse was out.
Maybe it was shiv….heaven knows that a lot of people had mistaken him to be her husband before. One thing which she noticed was the moment this thought hit her mind…her entire body relaxed…it wasn't a conscious thing….it just happened. But the very next moment…she clenched the sides of her bed. Cos the person walking towards her…wasn't shiv…it was shashank….!
Shiv was feeling wretched…as he saw shashank proceed towards her room. He had immediately risen when the nurse had said she was awake..but then when he started to go towards the room, she had calmly said…not you Dr. Kapoor…Mr. Kapoor.
He had been in his clinic when the phone rang…it was shashank on the other line…gauri met with an accident…come quick.
He left immediately calling his mother on the way and explaining whatever he knew…telling her to take care of kavya.
All throughout his journey he kept wondering….how did shashank reach there. He was waiting for the elevator when shashank stepped out of it.
"shiv…you reached.."
Ya…how is she ? what happened ? how did u get here ??
Shes fine…has hurt her foot…possibly the knee…is unconscious now… the hospital found my card in her bag..so they called me. Satisfied ?
Shiv just threw him a dirty look and rushed up…."ROOM 505…" shashank yelled as the doors shut.
He felt a knife go through him when he saw her lying there…cuts and bruises…head bandaged…she didn't deserve this. Hadn't she suffered enough already. He ran his hands along the lines of her face…and slowly stepped away. He talked to the doctors and learnt that she was bought in by a few locals along the Mumbai pune highway. Her car had been involved in an accident with a water tanker when the latter had skidded off the road. She had fractured her foot and torn some ligaments below her knee. She would probably be out till next morning as she was heavily sedated. Then they'd run further tests to determine if she had concussion or other internal injuries. Shiv trudged along the corridor and called his mum with the latest update. Then with a stoic expression walked to where he knew shashank would be.
The cafeteria was empty save a few people. He saw shashank sitting at the far end of the room drinking coffee and eating something. He sat in the chair opposite him, and pulled his plate towards himself and began eating…
"I could order something for you….you don't have to snatch my plate…will you have something else ?"
"coffee….black.
After a few minutes of silence…shiv spoke again..
How have you been ?
Me…im doing good…business is good. I travel around the world. Just got back two days ago. What about you… ? hows your work ?
Well…its good…I see about twenty patients a day…this one is one of them.
Shashank chuckled ….you carry the picture of your patients ?? but immediately shut up when he saw the picture. It was a picture of gauri and a little girl on a swing….laughing.
This one also happens to be my niece….and your daughter.
Why are you telling me this ??
Im trying to get it through your thick skull on how much you missed out…!! Do you know her name ?....kavya.
Do you know how many teeth she has…if she can smile ? if she can talk ? whats her favorite song…her favorite chocolate ?....her favorite color ? Nothing…
Hey…I had made it clear before. And I have been sending gauri cheques…
Well had u checked your account which im sure you have…you'll know gauri hasn't cashed a single one. !! shashank…your daughter is an angel…how could you justify your actions. You missed out four years of her life…and now she hasn't much left…
"How much more ?"
" Six months to a year max….kavya is the brightest thing on the planet…and she makes us all happy. You missed out bro…and im glad I am a part of her life….i'll take that..."he put out his hand for the photograph.
Shashank quietly handed it back…..when shiv rose to leave…he said …so are you telling everyone gauri is your wife now…or is It just understood ???
Shiv punched him and left.
Sitting on the sofa now…he waited to go meet gauri. Her husband was inside with her…shasank was with gauri.
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
