Chapter One:
"Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful...
Systematic touching, loving,
Caressing my inner desire.
Hidden women echo my delight,
Triumphing in your glory.
Breathing hot against your skin,
Scents permeate my presence.
An untamed rhythm,
Capping the salty waves
With deep and desperate kisses.
The vibrant warmth of your voice,
The music of your fragile hands.
How profound, your husky laugh
Moving through my deep quiet,
Still and silent,
Pulling me into you.
Lost within your darling eyes,
My fingers trace your back,
Define your cheeks,
Exalt in your brows and ears.
I am content in your smile
And the way your gaze holds me.
Whispers only for my ear,
My face pressed against your neck,
Your hair teasing my hands.
Finally, finally, finally,
Your lashes drop as you hold me,
Stable and precious in like,
And you make me feel so
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful..."
I shut off the radio rather harshly as I heard the false words fly out. How could anyone believe such false words? Love is beautiful; not a chance. Love caused pain, hurt, and sorrows. I had my own person experience to prove it--which to love was the cause of my pain. The cause for my only true relationship to flee; to leave me.
But aah...how could I merely blame the non-existant emotion of love? The initiative was him; the man who destroyed my life--no her life. Our lives. I hate him. I hate him. My thought were interuppted as I reached the driveway of a small, brick bulit, gray house. I stepped out of my plain mini-van and walked to the front porch, knocking slightly on the weared out white door. A man greeted me with a smile pasted to his face. I smiled slightly seeing him. Seeing him somehow always seemed to decrese the pain.
"Gauri!" he cried happily as he saw me standing out on his porch
"Hey Shashank" I greeted him back with enthusiasm, maybe not as much as his though
"Come on in" he gestured warmly.
I followed him inside into his tiny home and smiled. This was one of the only places which didn't seem to remind me of...
My thoughts were interuppted by him, "So Gauri, what brings you down here?" he asked warmly, though I could tell from his tone there was curiousity as to why I would be here.
"No reason. Just to see...you" I answered somewhat indirectly
"That's great.", and I could tell he meant it, "So...um...any progress?" I could tell he was struggling with how to phrase ti since he knew this was my one weak spot.
"No..." I whispered, unwanted memories just flooding back, as if without my permission. I held myself strong. I would not- I could not cry- because I had to show that I was strong. But he knew me too well.
He immediately took me in his arms understanding me; my pain. I often tried to resist but the pain was too heavy on me--I needed support and Shashank had been giving me it.
I wailed in his arms. "He took her away from me...forever. M-m my only family member. A-annd now s-he's...she's g-g-g..."
He soothed my hair and stopped me from saying the last word. "Gauri" he said soothingly. "We'll find her. We'll find him, too. And I promise you, when we find him, he'll wish he were never born." I heard him clench his fists. My sweet Shashank was going to beat someone up. Normally I would stop him to save his sweet soul, but the man his violence was directed to deserved no mercy. If only he were here now...Shashank could have ...
"Gauri." I looked up with tears on my face as he looked at me softly and wiped away my tears. I got out of his arms slowly. "I'm going to Canada next week" I said slightly uneasily after the previous awkward moment.
He looked at me puzzled and said "Gauri I know you're anxious to find her, but what in the world makes you believe she'd be in Canada out of all place?"
I looked away and answered him straightforward, "I'm not going for her."
"Then why?"
"I think I need some time...away from India, you know. Away from the pain, hurt,...memories." I said the last word in a whisper.
I saw him about to open his mouth to refuse and added whistfully, "Besides, Riddhima's pregnant" I said plainly.
I saw him sigh in frustration "But Gauri, you know I'll be worried for you. Besides I don't trust anyone but myself with you. What if she hurts you somehow?"
"Shashank!" I cried shocked. "How can you say that? She's my COUSIN. And if you don't think she and her husband can--"
I was cut off yet again. "Sorry, sorry." he said as he stroked my cheek. "Fine. But you must call me everyday, every hour, or I'll come up to Canada myself and report you kidnapped"
I smiled at his overprotectiveness "Will do."
"How long?"
"I don't know. Maybe until I feel...content" Though I knew that was absolutely impossoble to feel without her.
He smiled back and I was sure he was going to miss me. I kissed his cheek in a kind gesture implying I was probably going to miss him more than he was going to miss me.
"Ok I guess I better get going." I turned to leave and stopped at the windowsill covered in droplets of water. He saw my reaction and immediately came to my side.
"Gauri, please, stop blaming the rain for his mistakes."
I looked at him warily and replied, "Why not blame who deserve it?", smiled slightly, and walked out back to my car, feeling disgusted as the droplets touched my warm skin. I hated rain. These days I had learnt that I had hated a lot of things...
I drove back to my small cottage-like home and enetered myself settling down on the couch. I didn't want to do anything in particular, just sit down. Everytime it rained memories of everything always flooded back...
*****************************************
I was adopted. My true mother never wanted me from birth and left me in a sanctuary orphanage until I was about 10 years old and finally adopted. 10 years depreived from parenthood, alone all the time, no friends, no happiness...I was alone...until that family came into my life. A wealthy family adopted me. I would remember that coming in the orphanage every other day, coming to find a perfect playmate for their daughter. They would always ignore me, never once glanced at me, always looked at the cuter and younger kids. Days, weeks, months passed by and they never picked a child, instead always looking around. I was young, but still able to understand their words. It was one day, one special sunny day, when they walked in with a new person. An excited looking girl,who looked afew years younger than myself. Something about the girl made me feel strangely at place...we had our own connection. She looked at me alone and I could tell from her eys she felt affection at once for me. She then tugeed her father's slsleeve slightly and pointed to me. He looked at me oddly and started whispering things to his daughter. It was pretty obvious he was persuading his daughter to pick another child for a brother or sister, why pick someone old and ugly when you can have a prim and proper one? But I was able to see the girl fight for me. She wanted me as her sister, no matter how far her father convinced her for another one. The strange thing in this was, the mother. She was always quiet and obliging. The kind of wives I had learned to hate throughout time. She simply looked at me with no expression, but her eyes calling me for a hug. One day the father must have realized I was the only option--either me or only one child, since they could not have any more of their own. The day they adopted me I noticed right form the start how I would be treated. The father played somewhat nice in front of his daughter, but would never call me his own. The mother felt the need to oblige towards her husband, no matter how stupid or unjust the act be, so acte-d that way with me, but her eyes told me something else, that I was the greatest thing to happen in her life. The daughter was exicted and immensely tried being with me and made me felt at home. She played with me and even offerend to share her big roon though they lived in a mansion. I stayed with her and started becoming closer to her. My new sister's name was Prachi. My new father's name was Alok, and my mother was now Naina. Prachi and me were different, like fire and water, but we learned that we could not live without each other. Prachi became my little sister and best friend. I loved her and simply could not let her go...I was attached to her. Though our parents always favored her in everything, I never minded. She fighted for my justice which would piss her dad off, making him depsise me more. I became protective of her like I was her mother. We did fight at times, but that was part of a normal sisters' life process. Though I wasn't very popular in school and Prachi was, we always stuck together like glue. I had found my best friend and enhanced the beauty of having a last name as well. I was then Gauri Kapoor. And she was Prachi Kapoor. Was.
I drifted away from the rather happy times with Prachi when the not-so-happy side memories took over. I shuddered at the painful memories making their way back into my head...
It was September 29, 8:00 PM. Prachi and I were watching some stupid drama Prachi watched just to stare at her beloved actor all night.
"Di! He's soooo cute , na?"
"Praaachi. He's ok. But uske naak to kafi bara hai"
Prachi rolled her eyes disbelieveingly. "Di. I think his nose is perfect!" she continued gushing about him throughout the show, when he heard a knock on our room's window. Prachi was to absorbed in her show to hear it but I did, so I walked over to the window,awed by the sight. A guy from our mutual class was standing there...soaked in the rain as he threw rocks at our window to catch our attention. When he saw me looking at him with shocked fury he smiled, more-like smirked, and implyed if he could come into the house.
"Prachi...Prachi...Prachi!" I nudged her
She looked at me dazed, "What Di? Kya huwa?"
"A guy's at our window. He's wet I think he wants to come in."
She looked at me interested. "A guy? Ooh which one?!" she cried excitedly"
"I don't remember his name...but I know he's from chemistry" I added
"Let me go see." she said abruptedly and walked to the windowstill and paused her eyes. It scared me how her eyes had all of a sudded stopped at the guy. For a second she looked like she was in...love?
"Shiv" she sighed dreamily after motioning some hand movements I did not understand.
"Oh him" I said now aware of who he was, "What did you tell him?" I asked, my question directing to the hand movements
"Oh nothing...just told him to get his ladder form his car." she said and walked to the bed as if nothing had happened
"PRACHI! What the hell is your problem? What will dad say if he finds out? And we can't be ALONE with some guy we barely know from chemistry class!" I exploded at my sister's stupid actions
"Di we won't be alone" ,she said pleadingly, "you have me and I have you. Besides Di...look at him. He's soo hott! Even hotter than Iqbal Khan."
I couldn't help from laughing at the last statement. She thought some guy form chem was hotter than her dreamy actor.
"So will you help me sneak him in?" she asked pledingly
"I don't know Prachi..."
"Di! Please! Please! Di I've had my eye on him but I never thought he would like a girl like me..."
"Prachi why in the world would he not like you? Heck the guy would be lucky to have my sister." I said trying to hide my smile, but it didn't work.
"So...you'll help us?" she asked though she already knew the answer
"I guess...I mean it's raining...he must be soaked." I said and left to the window to help the guy who was now climbing up our window...
How was I supposed to know at the time my last statement was the worst statement I could have ever spoken?
************ Guys please read/commet! Thanks those who commented before!!! The second half of Gauri's story will be revealed in Ch. 2 luv u all! ~xoxo Shriya~
Edited by ~sweet_4_U~ - 16 years ago
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