FF: Love, well almost [Ch 4- Pg 1] Feb 23

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Veil

@Veil

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+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

Love, well almost

Index

Chapter one - Below

Chapter two - Below

Chapter Three - Below

Chapter Four - Below

-

Hello beautiful people!

This is an Epistolary; a work purely in the form of letters; co-authored by me and my good friend Fitzcy. Characters would be introduced as and when the story progresses. Leave your thoughts behind if you love/hate it.

Much Love,

V & F

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Edited by Veil - 8 years ago

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979861

Hibernated

Posted: 8 years ago

From: shutabulgirl@xyz.com

To: notmeplease@xyz.com

Subject :- Eid ka Chand

Hey Mister

How are you?

In the blue of health, I suppose (I thought maybe you'd get offended if I associate the girly color with your health. My twelve year old brother does! And that reminds me that Goa election commission has taken Pink for Girls to to another level. Pink polling stations to woo women voters! Like seriously. Samajh ke kya rakha hai hai hamein?! Color dekh ke voting karte hai hum. And gifting teddy bears to first time woman voters, such gender discrimination. I feel bad for men in general, now. They are so taken for granted)

Anyways, it's been two weeks since we last wrote to each other and I kept waiting patiently that may be, this time you'd write to me first, but mazaal ho jo aisa kabhi ho! Not good, mister, you shouldn't keep the ladies waiting.

Now that we are done with formalities, let me start eating your head off. BTW, are you sleeping? If yes, then please wake up and lend me your ears. Technically, it should be eyes, so lend me your eyes, O' my mail buddy.

You know, I was looking out of my window, staring at the inky sky and at the winter moon, pale and wan. ( Wow I can be poetic too) The sight outside was really beautiful. But looking at the vast sky that seemed endless to me, I felt alone. Somehow the starless skies had intensified the desolate feeling inside my heart. I had talked to Mom in the evening. And told her everything is alright. I'm doing great. And to be honest, life IS fine. It's just that I am sad tonight without any reason. Has it ever happened to you? This feeling of sadness engulfing you, distancing you from your friends? You keep searching outside for the reason. But maybe the reason resides in your bosom. Oh sorry I forgot, bosom is not used for men. You have a chest. How many inches? No no, I'm not interested in knowing your size, just that Mr. PM has ruined it for me. 56 inch se kam koi jachta hi nahi hai! Lol. Yeah, so I was telling that the reason is there inside you. God! I'm not making sense, am I? After 1 am, I usually don't make sense. You must have come to know that by now.

So, since the sight outside my window made me feel lonely, I turned away from my window and decided to watch the movie, Bajirao Mastani. I know it was released last year and you must be thinking why haven't I watched it till now? Not much of Bollywood movies buff, I am. My best friend had said such good things about it and wanted me to watch it and I simply kept procrastinating.

The movie turned out to be more depressing. I don't mean it as an insult to the people who've worked hard in it. Individually, the actors did a marvelous job and it was a feast for the eyes to see Ranveer in such a hot Marathi avatar. But I couldn't enjoy Mastani and Bajirao's love story. Every time Bajirao looked into Mastani's hypnotic eyes, I kept thinking, Dude, you have wife! How could you do this to her?! She loves you so much. And then he says in the movie that he loved both of them. But how could he? You can't love everyone equally. There's always one person whom you love a little more than anybody else in the world. It was really unfair to Kashibai. i guess it's just me being me!

Since you are a guy, I want to ask, is it possible for you to love two different people at the same time?

And so to uplift my mood guess what I watched? North and South. Yes , Again. For the sixth time. I think I am in love with Richard Armitage. He's my dream man. His eyes and his voice, God! I watched The Hobbit only for him. Who knew hobbits could be so dreamy!

BTW, do you have any particular fondness towards any actor? Me being my nosy self, I know. But I'm really curious.

Do you have any favorite? Angelina Jolie or Madhuri Dixit? Please don't tell me you like Deepika? Sab wahi bolte hai.

Keira Knightley? Pretty face but too thin.

I have a girl crush on Anne Hathaway!

Did you watch the series though? North and South of course. What else? You promised me you would. I want to know what you think about it, about them. If you would find Margaret pretty? At least read the book. Come on now; don't be like those guys who look down upon romance novels. It's not even romance. It's a CLASSIC. And you'll get to know about Industrial Revolution also.

Okay, I've talked enough. Am feeling good. Should go to sleep now.

P.S. - Have you listened to any of Talat Mahmood songs? They're awesome. For starters, listen to Itna na mujhse tu pyar badha. It's from the movie, Chhaya.

P.P.S- You better reply fast this time.

Yours

shutabulgirl

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Veil

@Veil

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Posted: 8 years ago

From: notmeplease@xyz.com

To: shutabulgirl@xyz.com

Sub: RE: Eid Ka Chand

Ladki,

Did anyone ever tell you how much do you actually talk?

And do not get me started on conversations post 1 am. I think I make more sense when I am sleep deprived and hung over than when I am in my ultra professional mode, delivering a presentation. Take my advice, do not become a corporate slave like me ever. Start up, like you always have wished to.

All that senti talk aside, ladki, did anybody ever tell you, you talk all over the place, like a drunk man trying to pee. You think you aimed it right, but you end up messing the entire thing up.

It boggles my mind how you jump from topic A to topic Z. I have to prepare notes of all the topics you've covered to be able to reply to them individually.

Let's start with the interesting topics first. I've watched North and South like for five minutes. The chick is hot. Voluptuous. Why would women starve themselves in the name of hotness, I say?

The water cooler conversations in office are filled with woman talking how far they look. Funny story, those who are fat don't mention they are. They're body positive according to themselves. Those who are f**king thin, that you can make out their bones think they have to diet. Like what?

You women are funny. Unintentionally of course.

Next time you look out of the window, do try to remember you have to get your assignment done first. How jobless are kids these days to feel sad for nothing. I'll give you a bunch of reasons to feel sad about.

The woman you think is cute doesn't notice you. Your job sucks. And there's a slight chance of a male colleague hitting on you. There, these are called problems. Add student loans to the mix. Why do they never end? It's as if the moment I get my salary, I'll have more mouths to feed than I can afford. My bank manager, my owner, my roommate, the milkman, my bai, you get the drift.

How can a poor single guy live in a big bad city like this? How can you dress up to kill, figuratively of course? How can you spend on the occasional booze and cigarettes? Just how?

It's a good thing you're going to be an entrepreneur . If I ever want a job, I can charm your socks off and make you offer me one.

Now if you ask about loving multiple people, well I've always loved all of the spice girls equally. We men are easy that way. If you all look the same, you all will get equal love from us. However, bigger boobs = bigger love.

As you mentioned size does matter. I am so proud of myself within two months of association you started talking about inches.

Sayonara kiddo, before either you virtually kill me or my boss would actually do the honor if I screw up this presentation I have due tomorrow.

PS: Did I not ask you to watch X men series? Why are you after people who were sad and dead?

Till you write again,

All yours,

Notmeplease.

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979861

Hibernated

Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: AKHIAWAL
very very good.😊

Ah! Our first reader.😊

Thank you for liking and leaving your feedback.😃

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979861

Hibernated

Posted: 8 years ago

From: shutabulgirl@xyz.com

To: notmeplease@xyz.com

Sub: Cute woman who doesn't notice you?!

Hey

First things first, How many times do I have to tell you that I'm not a KID!? So stop KIDDO'ing me.

Now coming to the main point, you have a CRUSH? Like seriously? Wow wow wow...tell me everything about it. Kab, kaise, kahaan huya? A Cute woman who doesn't notice you? How dare she!?

Bhala kaun hai woh hamein bhi batao...ye kisse sabhi ko sunate nahin hai magar doston se chupate nahin hai. Tere dard e dil ki dava hum karenge aur na kuch kar sake toh dua hum karenge

And I hope that the guy who's hitting on you, he gifts you a red red rose this Valentine! Bada maza aayega. And maybe he will write some love sonnets for you. Something like, I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair...I hunt for the liquid measure of your steps. hahahahah

You're worried about dressing? Dress to kill you want right? A t- shirt and nice pair of jeans, a little bit of studied nonchalance. It's as simple as that. BTW, I never took you as someone who'd want to impress others. Par ye umar hi aisi hai and now we have a cute woman in the picture too. You know what Uday Benegal had to say about his dressing? He said, "I don't really give a shit how people see me. If I wear something it's because I want to and it feels right." And guess what he is counted among the best dressed Indian men.

And yes almost everyone has told me that I talk a lot (I would like to take pride in the fact that I am one of the most loquacious people to have ever graced the Earth.) But you are first vichitra prani to mention the drunk man peeing analogy. However, I have to say you're quite informative. I have never had the opportunity to witness the micturition style of a drunk man (Come to think about it I have not witnessed micturating style of a sober man too.My cousin was six when he had removed his pants and threatened to pee all over me so I think that doesn't count) but thanks to you, I can totally visualize it now, the peeing style of a drunk man.

Booze, boobs, bai and Cigarettes ??? Ye sab shaukh bhi hai aapke? Bas bike ki kami reh gayi ! Why the guys I know they are always talking about this or that bike and car's model.

And here I thought that for once I had found a decent guy. When we first chatted in the gaming forum, you appeared as if you were the descendent of Yudishthira himself. So well spoken. You tricked me big time! Dheere dheere rang dikhaya jaa raha hai apna.

You really disappointed me with all this bigger boobs= bigger love. I hope you don't like this cute woman only for her assets.

And and and when I mentioned size it was only for fun. And I was talking about the chest size only. So you better don't get any wrong ideas.

Charm my socks off huh? Quite confident are you? But my dear Charming Prince, I am quite focused when it comes to work. So I hope your work is as impressive as your social skills.

And did I tell you P (in case you forgot to note down who P is, She's my roommate) was again bragging about her boy friend. How it was Chocolate Day yesterday and he had gifted her basket full of chocolates and how she wanted to share it with me but couldn't because her janu / baby / shona etc etc had asked her to finish all of it on her own. I hope she suffers from tooth decay or even better Gingivitis!

Now before I go, let me tell you a story about another poor guy .

He wanted to study in DU but couldn't. Why? Because he was poor. Duh.

So he completed his studies from a normal government college. Got a pretty normal job with not so good pay scale. He continued to labor hard. Took loans. Joined an evening B- school. Then soon he got a better post with better wages. But the money he earned he couldn't spend on himself for he had two sisters of marriageable age sitting at home. Yeah, I know you must be rolling your eyes and must be thinking, Funny story, that it makes for a good script for a tele series.

So the day he had married off his youngest sister, he thought he was finally free of the burdens of life. But still the struggle had not ended. Fell in love with a girl who was already engaged to someone else. Just when the newly born Devdas had taken to alcohol, the honorable CM decided to ban the consumption of it in their state. Talk about luck now! But it is during this hard phase, he found some of the most beautiful people in his life. Who stood with him during the tough times. He also found that he was stronger than he thought he was. So dear mister poor single guy in big bad city I hope you are a fighter. That despite all the problems that you're facing now, you focus on living your life fully. That you're not the 'Why me' guy but the 'Try me' guy.

P.S. - This kid has a lot of assignments to solve but she believes in procrastinating the work until the day before the date of submission. Aji aaj kare so kal kar, kal kare so parso, sab kuch agar time pe kar le, toh insaan khidki se bahar dekhega kab?!

P.P.S. - Why will I watch a X and Y or Z men series when I have the option of drooling over a man who has intense eyes and whose love does not get carried away by some dimensions of the prominences found on the upper ventral portion of a female body. And dare you make fun of me! I prefer to watch N&S for I get to watch the sincere love of a man which is so rare to find these days. Always an honest man he even lies to protect the reputation of the love of his life even when he assumes that she loves someone else.Sigh.

Hamre to bas Mr. Thornton dusro na koi.

Until you tell me more about your crush

Yours

not so voluptuous ladki

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Veil

@Veil

Explorer

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

From: notmeplease@xyz.com

To: shutabulgirl@xyz.com

Sub: Life lessons

Ladki,

I'm going to give you some life lessons today so get your pen and paper ready.

Lesson 1: A gentleman would never maketh a lady uncomfortable unless... the lady in question isn't somebody he was hitting on.

If the lady (one more time I call you a lady, I will die laughing. It's so hard to do that since you're a whopping three years younger to me) is considered a bro, then a gentleman is allowed to be honest. If you don't know this already ma'am, in a guy's world honest = disgusting.

Lesson 2 : It is laughable indeed if a lady uses all the following in one single line, depicting their importance to be similar.

Booze, boobs, bai and Cigarettes?

Now now no gentleman would consider all of them equal. A Bai is always the most powerful one amongst others.

Without a Bai and her tantrums, who would cook and clean? (Although I bet I can cook a thousand times better than her, and you can't ever make out if she actually cleaned the room because you find specs of dust everywhere, that's besides the point).

You can find yourself a girlfriend pretty easily than you would ever find a Bai. And that, my lady is why you don't underestimate her power.

Lesson 3: A gentlemen is allowed to laugh at a Lady's roommate and her weird initials.

You call her P? As in pee? Did I ruin the name for you now? Sorry, not sorry.

As for the chocolate day, who remembers that? You know the stereotype about how gentleman aren't good with dates? Well that's true.

If a gentleman doesn't remember birthdays and anniversaries, isn't it a little preposterous to assume he would remember these confusing mayhem of a Valentine week with meaningless things such as rose day, chocolate day, biryani day (I just made that up)?

Chances are your roommate bought the chocolate herself just to rub it in your face.

PS: I could have made fun of the story about the Devdas guy, but then my superpowers started working. Are you sure this is just a story? Or is it that our little kiddo finally has got a crush on a certain Devdas?

PPS: I'm going to pretend you never said anything about how you're rooting for me to end up with a guy

PPPS: About the girl, well she's not in my team and she's very cute. She might have caught my fancy but so is the case with at least half of the office population. So it's neither here nor there.

I have a strong feeling you are going to ignore all of the letter and jump right back on the crush topic.

Am I right or am I right?

Signing off till you eat my brain,

Notmeplease.

Edited by Veil - 8 years ago