Chapter 13
Nothing to Hide
I discovered from Anuj and Sagar that during the 4.30-6.30 evening slot, one could either opt for volleyball, basketball or badminton in sports. If one did not want to play, one could do gardening. You had a choice of planting something in your own patch, which you would be allotted if you opted for gardening. But if you did not want to do it on your own, you could tend to the common plants in the garden. The garden was indeed beautiful.
While I enjoyed admiring and painting the flowers, I knew instantly that it was sports I would opt for. Sagar did not play but preferred gardening. Anuj played basketball and I decided to play with him.
Playing with Anuj that evening, every nerve in my body pulsated with life. Anuj won easily. I was panting and struggling to keep up with him. But, oh the joy! I felt so alive as sweat trickled down my forehead as I ran, playing my best. It had been very long since I had any kind of physical exercise and my muscles stretched and groaned as they were compelled back into action.
"You two have 15 minutes to get out of those sweat drenched clothes and get ready," said Sagar handing us a water bottle as we sat on the wooden bench after playing.
"The game was so good I had almost forgotten we have PT," replied Anuj.
I figured out that it stood for psychotherapy when Sagar asked if I knew which doctor was assigned to me.
"I guess it must be Dr. Manik," I said. At least I hoped so.
"Oh! Another Dr. Manik's fangirl" said anuj and both laughed. I was clueless.
"What does that mean?" I asked totally confused.
"You know those crazy fan bitches. They actually come to manik for a fake checkup" said anuj totally with a slight ting of disgust. As if it is some sin. But moral of the story is I am still confused. What the heck is a FAKE CHECKUP?
Sagar read my confusion face and answered to clear the air
"Those fangirls, actually come to manik for a checkup, faking some kind of pain. But inside clinic they just throw themselves on him so as to feel him" I had my eyes widened, jaw dropped and mind still trying to register the words. Almost like a typical daily soap. I too was feeling like to say what' three times or infact many more times.
The information not only made me shock but also made me sad that, here I was missing his company and he would over there, enjoying with those girls. The image of him sitting on a chair and a girl hovering over him flashed infront of my eyes. I was filled with a deep sense of rage, frustration, anger and a sinking feeling of disliking.
Here I was considering him to be my savior and there he was enjoying with those girls. I realized I was jealous. I got sad and mad at him after hearing this.
"Come lets go" Anuj's voice brought me out of my trance. I realized I wasn't comfortable thinking about it, so I dealt with it in the manner I knew best. I pushed it aside.
The psychotherapy sessions involved talking to whichever doctor was assigned to you. I hoped like mad that I would see Manik. He had promised me that he would come and see me. I hoped he was not too busy and would remember. But my hopes were short-lived as I discovered that it was a junior doctor called Mukti Vardhan who was assigned to me.
"Hello Nandini. Do come in and sit down. I am Dr. Namita," she said pleasantly and I noticed that the smile reached her eyes. She had a melodious voice. It looked like she meant her welcome but I was not completely at ease.
Then I noticed my file on her table.
"Nandini, I want to assure you that you are doing very well and we are all here to support you," she said.
I nodded. I hated the fact that she had seen my life. I did not like that every bit of my past was written in those papers and she knew everything about it. I did not mind discussing it with Manik, but I felt Dr. Mukti had no right to know any of the past events that had changed my life so. It was as though she read my mind.
"Dr. Manik has a special interest in your case and he will be here soon. He assigned me to you, and told me to fill in till he comes. We need not talk about anything if you don't want. We can just talk about movies or anything else that interests you."
I was not sure how to react to her words. Finally I told her that I would wait for Manik. She gave me probably her brightest smile as though I have given her some treasure. I realized she is sweet and genuine. I even realized I was rude. So I apologized.
"Its okay. I liked that you trust him and like being with him." she completed silently but I felt a little shy with her words. I don't know what to reply so we sat back in silence.
Manik arrived after about ten minutes. I was overjoyed to see him. He came to me and I stood on my chair. I was smilingly looking at his face and he was reciprocating. I never felt so happy to see someone.
"You okay?" he asked cupping my cheek. I was bowled. I felt I was reborn. His concern filled eyes said more worry for me than his words. I was happy to see him caring for me. I was feeling so many emotions that I couldn't word out. So I simply nodded.
"Thank you Mukti," he said as he dismissed her and as she left I found myself relaxing instantly.
Manik could see that too.
"Nandu, all the doctors are trained to help. Dr. Mukti is very sweet and efficient and my best friend too. I had personally assigned her to your case. She has made an in depth study of your file," he said.
"But Manik, that is precisely what is making me uncomfortable!" I exclaimed.
"Everything in the file is confidential, Nandu and I must assure you that only the doctors assigned to the case will have access to the personal information files," he said.
Then Manik said that I was very talented and had a great gift for writing. He said I ought to nurture it. He also said my paintings were good and I should take it up further.
I was puzzled. How had Manik known about my writing? There was only one way to know and I asked him.
"Nandu, the forty two page letter that you wrote to your friend was what gave us a clue about it. The letter had some brilliant lines and some superb prose. I am sorry we had to go through it all. We also studied your pictures. The ones you painted," He said.
[Author's note:- Guys do you remember after painting that waterfall when she was at home with her parents, she wrote 42 page letter to her friend suvi??. Yes manik is talking about the same]
I was baffled. How did the letter that I had written to Suvi reach them? How did they get my paintings? Oh my God! I had poured out my heart in that letter. It was not meant for anybody else's eyes other than Suvi's. How could she betray me like this? I was hurt, upset, annoyed yet a strange kind of relief also flooded through me, because now there was nothing more that I could hide from Manik anymore. It felt liberating in a very strange manner. All my defences were laid bare. I was vulnerable and totally exposed, yet I felt completely safe.
But the question was How did he get those letters? He said he read that letter. What will he think of me now? This was the major concern for me at that point of time. It felt really important to know what manik thinks about me.? And again there is only one way to know so I asked him.
"How did you get that letter and who gave you?" I asked with my downhead. It felt embarrassing infront of him for that letter which had my heart and HIM in it.
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Okay so from the next chapter nandu's past begins and I am going to write it in nandini's pov so that you could know what was her past!
Lastly FOCABULARY:-
1) Gunges :- Sticky and messy matter
2) Scant:- barely enough
Now your turn to read, like and comment.😊
Cricket
