HOW TO FALL IN LOVE- MANAN FF last ch pg 93 updated - Page 8

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ticktock thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#71

thank you once again.. you all are so amazing... i am humbled by your appreciation and kind words. big hug for all of you🤗


CHAPTER- 5

HOW TO BUILD FRIENDSHIP AND DEVELOP TRUST?

Manik disappeared after that. He stayed in the room but vanished into his mind, no doubt pondering the future for him and his girlfriend. Getting over her wasn't an option; he wanted her back. And if his girlfriend felt about Manik what I felt about Harshad, they hadn't a hope in hell.

'So what do you do?' he asked, as if suddenly realising he knew nothing about the woman who was intent on saving his life.

'What do you think I do?' I asked playfully.

He didn't think for very long.' Work in a charity shop?'

I had to laugh. 'That's random.' I looked down at my cloths, wondering if he thought my jeans, shirt and canvas shoes had come from a charity shop. They may have been casual but they were brand new.

He smiled. 'I don't mean your clothes. It's more... You seem the caring type. Maybe a vet or something to do with rescued animals?' he shrugged. Am I close?'

I cleared my throat.' I am in recruitment.'

His smile faded. His disappointment was palpable, his concern even more so. And he didn't try to cover it up.

In a few hours I would have twelve days left and I had achieved nothing yet.

I would have sworn to anyone who would listen that I hadn't slept all night, because I was sure I hadn't, but instead of the realisation that morning had suddenly come over me, it was the sound of running water that forced me to open my eyes. Confused that I'd been asleep, it took me a moment to realise where I was. I was wide awake and immediately alert; I didn't go groggy. When I discovered that the couch that Manik had been laying on was empty I immediately jumped up, rushed into the bedroom, banging my knee on the doorframe, not fully thinking things through. And barged into the bathroom where I was faced with an outline of him in the shower. I turned around the instance I realised my foolish act. I heard the shower cabinet door slid open a bit.

'Don't worry I am still alive.' He said still amused.

I quickly backed out of the bathroom, closed the door suppressing and awkward giggle, and hurried to the guest toilet to make myself look presentable after a night of sitting on the couch. When I emerged from the living room, the water continued to fall in the bathroom. After ten minutes it was still falling. I paced the bedroom wondering what to do. Walking in on him once was a mistake, a second time would be plain creepy but I wasn't sure I could afford to be worried about my integrity when two nights ago he had attempted suicide. I was about to push open the bathroom door when I heard the sound. It was quite at first; then it sounded chocked, so full of hurt, so deep and longing I let go of the handle and rested my head against the door, wanting so much to comfort him. Feeling helpless I listened to his sobs.

Then I remembered the suicide note. If I didn't get my hands on it before he was out of the shower. I'd never see it. I looked around the room and saw his cloths discarded on the corner, his jeans lying on top of his travel bag. I felt my way around each pocket and then finally found the folded piece of paper. I opened it hoping to gain some insight into the reasons of his attempted suicide, but instead found a series of scribbles, some crossed out, other underlined and I quickly learned that it wasn't a suicide note at all; it was his proposal to Alia, practiced over and over again, rewritten until it was perfect.

A vibration from Manik's phone stole my attention away. It was beside the fresh cloths he had laid out to wear that day. The phone stopped ringing and the screen revealed 17 missed calls from Alia. It rang again. Alia. I made a quick decision, one that didn't require much thinking though. I answered it.

I was mid conversation with her when I realised that the shower had stopped running, In fact I hadn't heard it in a while. I turned around his phone still on my ear. Manik was standing on the bathroom door, as if he had been there for a while, towel wrapped around his waist, his skin bone dry, anger on his face. I quickly made an excuse and ended the call. I spoke before he had a chance to attack me.

'You had seventeen missed calls on your phone; I thought it might be important so I answered. Also, if this is going to work between us, then I need total access to your life. No holds barred. No secrets.'

I stopped to make sure he understood. He didn't object.

'That was Alia. She was worried about you. She was afraid you had hurt yourself after last night or worse. She has been worried about you for a year now, extremely worried for the last nine months. She felt she wasn't getting through to you so she went to Dhruv for help, so they could figure out what to do. She fought how she felt for him, but she fell for Dhruv. They didn't want to hurt you. They have been together for six weeks. She didn't know how to tell you. She thought you behaviour was down to you leaving your music and your father being sick. She said every time she tried to talk to you something bad happened. She said she wanted to tell you about her and Dhruv but then the news of your father's illness being terminal came. She wished you hadn't found out this way.'

I watched as he took all of this in. he was seething, the anger was bubbling beneath his skin but I could see the hurt too, he was really so fragile so delicate, so heartbroken, a whisper away from breaking.

I continued, 'She seemed put out that I answered the phone, almost angry with me that she didn't know who I was. She said that in the six years you were together she thought she knew all of your friends. She was jealous.'

The anger seemed to lessen then, with thoughts of her jealousy of him and another women like water over his burning rage.

I felt hesitant about adding the rest but took a gamble that I thought would pay off. 'She said she doesn't recognise you anymore. That you used to be fun- funny and spontaneous. She said you had lost your spark.'

His eyes filled a little and he coughed and shook his head, macho man back.

'We are going to get you back to that way again, Manik, I promise. Who knows, maybe she will recognise the man she fell in love with and she will fall in love with him all over again. We will rediscover your spark.'

I gave him space to think about that and waited in the living room, nervously biting my nails. Twenty long minutes later he appeared in the doorway, fully dressed, eyes clear and hiding and proof of his despair.

"Breakfast?" he asked.

The dining room buffet had quite an array of food to choose from and customers went back and forth several times to avail of the all you can eat menu. We sat with our backs to the display with cups of black coffee and empty placemats.

'So you don't eat, you don't really sleep either. What else do we have in common?' Manik said.

I had lost my appetite four months ago, the same time I had realised I was not happy in my relationship. As a result of losing my appetite, I had lost a lot of weight.

'Broken relationships?' I offered.

'You left yours. I was left. Doesn't count.'

'Don't take me leaving my boyfriend personally.'

'I will if I want.'

I sighed. 'So tell me about you. Alia said you had lost your spark over a year ago, which was a comment that has really stayed with me.'

'Yeah, that has stayed with me too,' he interrupted, with false animation. 'I am wondering if she had realised that before she fell in love with my best friend or after.'

I didn't respond to that, allowed him to have his moment.

'What were you like when your mother passed away? How did you behave?'

Alia had also revealed that detail over the phone, disclosing much of Manik's life and his problems as though I was a long trusted friend who knew all of this information anyway. I'm sure she would have been far more careful with her words if she knew the real situation, but she didn't, it wasn't her business, and so I had let her talk; her rant an attempt to justify her actions and also a way for me to be enlightened on aspects of Manik's life that perhaps he wouldn't have shared with me.

'Why?'

'Because it's helpful to me.'

'Will it be helpful to me?'

'Your mother passed away, your father is sick; your girlfriend has met someone else. I think that your girlfriend leaving you was a trigger. Perhaps you can't deal with people leaving. Perhaps you feel abandoned. You know if you are aware of your triggers it can help being aware of those negative thoughts before you drop into a downward spiral. May be when someone leaves you know, you connect with how you felt when you were five years old.'

I was impressed by myself but I seemed to be the only one.

'I think you should stop playing therapist.'

'I think you should go and see a real one, but for some reason you won't and I have all that you have got.'

He was silenced by that. Whatever his reasons, that didn't seem to be an option. Still, I was hoping I would get him eventually.

Manik sighed and sat back in his chair, looking up at the chandelier as if it was that which asked him the question.' I was five years old. Mum had cancer. It was all very sad for everyone, though I didn't really understand. I didn't feel sad; I only knew that it was. I didn't know she had cancer or if I did I didn't know what it was. I just knew she was sick. There was a room downstairs where she stayed that I wasn't allowed to go into. It was a week or maybe a month I don't remember. It felt like for ever. We had to be really quite around the door. Men would go in and out with their doctor's bags, ruffle my hairs as they passed. Father would rarely go in. then one day the door to the room was open and I went in. it had bed in it that never used to be there before. The bed was empty but other than that the room was the same. The doctors who used to tap me on the head told me my mother was gone. So I asked them where and the said heaven ,so, I knew she was never coming back because that is where grandpa had gone one day and he never came back. I thought it must have been a fun place to go and never want to come back. We went to the funeral. Everybody was very sad. I stayed with my aunt for a few days and then I was packed off to a boarding school.' He spoke of it all devoid of emotions, totally disconnected as his defence mechanism kicked in to block the overwhelming pain. I guessed for him to connect, to feel the pain, felt too much to bear. He felt isolated and disengaged and I believed every word he said.

'Your father didn't discuss what was happening to your mother?'

'My father doesn't do emotion. After they had told him he had weeks to live, he asked for a fax machine to be put in his hospital room.'

'So did you make friends at the boarding school?' I was hoping for a circle where little Manik had love and friendship, I wanted a happy ending somewhere.

'That is where I met Dhruv.'

Which wasn't the happy ending I was hoping for, as that trusted person had betrayed him. I couldn't help myself, I reached out and placed my hand over his. The movement made him more vulnerable so I quickly removed it.

He folded his hand. 'So how about we drop all this mumbo jumbo talk and get straight to the problem?'

'This isn't mumbo jumbo. I think that your mother passing away when you were five years old is significant it affects your past and current behaviour, your emotion, how you deal with things.'

'Unless your mother passed away when you were five, you cannot understand a thing' he said getting defensive.

'She did'

'What?'

'My mother died when I was four.'

He looked at me surprised.' I am so sorry.'

'Thanks.'

'How did that affect you?' he asked gently, trying to see trough me.

'I think I am not the one who wants to kill myself, so let's move on.' I snapped, wanting to get back to talking about him. I could tell from his surprised expression that I had sounded angrier than I wanted to. I composed myself. "Sorry. What I meant was, if you don't want to talk, what do you want from me, Manik? How do you expect me to help you?"

Edited by vihaa - 10 years ago
piyu008 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#72
loved it dear..
loved the development ..i mean there are so many tiny tiny details u have described perfectly..
nandu..she got some trick i must say..i like the idea of finding the fault or behaviour from the past..its true really..past does effect our action in present,.
I like her concern towards him too ..she panics if he is nowhere around..
N nandu has many similar problems so may be manik will learn to live from her..
its getting really interesting dear..
update soon😃
Nandini_goyal thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Stunner Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 10 years ago
#73
Senti senti senti... Was about to cry over there and it's hard to get a leakage in my eyes. So well done!!

Do update soon

Love
ishitaa22 thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#74
It was really grt yaar...i could totally visualize d scene and d pain.
Ur an amazing writer👏...n the concept of d story is really diff and in a really gud way.
m really lukin frwrd to it...plz update soon.
N_Niya thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#75
nice but very short!
update.longer & faster..
Witcher thumbnail
Visit Streak 365 Thumbnail 10th Anniversary Thumbnail + 5
Posted: 10 years ago
#76
It's a complete New side of manik, he is so hurt but he is slowly letting her in
I hope we get to know about Nandus past too
bokul thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#77
thanks for the pm
lovely update
continue soon
RomComFan thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#78
Interesting... she found out a lot about his past, can't wait to see how they fall for eachother...😊
ushmaaa thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#79
it's amazing ..now they are clearing and sharing their feelings ...
waiting for more
plz cont soon

harshitha2398 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#80
Beautiful writing...
u hv penned the emotions very well... keep writing... n quick updates pls

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