Manik, Nandini and the God Complex

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Cat.

@Cat.

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 10 years ago

So I brought this up in the AT:

I kind of liked how they brought Manik's "playing god" nature to the forefront.

While he is being genuinely worried about Nandini and wanting to make everything in her life good and better without her having to get into trouble, I am glad she's telling him she can take care of herself and that in a relationship both partners are important. If Nandini's wellbeing is important to Manik, Manik's wellbeing is equally important to Nandini and this is where Nandini differs from the Fab5, Fab5 indulge Manik's God complex while Nandini confronts it head-on.

It makes for interesting complexity in a relationship as men are pegged and slotted as the carers while the women are expected to allow their men to take care of them. But what if you don't want to play by the traditional rules?

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charminggenie

@charminggenie

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 10 years ago

There are two questions.

Manik's God-Complex

He was the kid that would have died if not for Dhruv's brave deed, this has sort of made huge impact in the way he views life, his role in relationships. He took Dhruv as a true friend by that gesture, so self-destructing to the point of exhausting one has been natural and right for Manik. He also seems to be boy who had to fight his way to deal with his issues, he likes to appease his friends , take their worries because they are his family and he feels the need to protect the ideal family because to him they all seem to have issues , Dhruv's disease, Bira's family troubles, Mukti-fragility, Alya's loneliness all seems to play on his mind , hence he suits up with an invincible armour to shield his friends from all the harm. That is what true friends do , according to Manik. Hence he has this God-complex where he needs to sort out all troubles, be the guy who makes it all ok , so that his friends, family remains intact.

Here he sometimes comes across over-protective, over-bearing but for fab4 they let it be , indulge him because not only they admire his friendship philosophy but they know Manik needs it to be sane and in control.

Thankfully with Nandini , Manik will try to move away from it , it will be a struggle but she is there to remind him to be selfish, think about himself and not keep sacrificing himself for others, because somewhere that is a disservie to his friends and they be guilty about it.

@Second Question.

We had this debate somewhere else on IF about the roles of men and women in society. The crux was as much as both were born equal, society conveniently pegged women as the home-maker because they breed . It made the demarcation to set up a society conducive of those times where males used to work while females handle the home - there are historically exceptions but majority followed that model. What we haven't realized that society is dynamic, culture evolves with time. As we move towards equality in every form,these lines will be removed , so it is ok for a male to be homemaker while his wife earns or vice-versa, there doesn't need to be social stigma . I think blaming it on tradition is wrong, those practices could have or might seem justifiable to those times but using the time citation we kind of restrict the society from growing , exploring .

So if two kids, male or female, need to be equally educated, then they both also need to be socially conditioned to not be caged by the stereotypes.

VogueIndia had this powerful campaign- Men don't cry or something. I think thats says it all. Men should cry , there is no shame, just like Women can handle themselves because they are as capable.

CC - I sin.

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shefni

@shefni

Navigator

Posted: 10 years ago

Arrives Manik, arrives along ,his God complex.

Well it is how he had grown up, adapting himself to the harsh realities of the world, and tumultous time he had gone through.Likewise said, the night of accident has left deep scars upon him, and his bitter childhood were fuel to the fire.The bearance of guilt and gratitudeness had weighed down his shoulders so much that thinking about himself is no right of his.His life is entwined upon his close knit group that he would readily burn to bring in light for them. Though in my opinion Cabir, Mukti be all strong individuals who very like Manik dont give two hoots to anything if Fab 5 is considered, the overall dynamics of fab5 lies on Manik-He protects them and they accept it, and have crowned him as their leader who would stand tall and strong against the storm .Whereas with nandhini , she doesn't see Manik as the guy who has taken it upon himself to be the strong shield to save the day , but sees him as the guy who yearns for love and care, which was never his- for her, Manik is not a guy filled with darkness and mightiness but a guy inspite of the darkness , still roots for a small ray of hope -light.

It is a basic human mindset often seen in individuals to protect loved ones, it is just the extent which one goes for it , makes it alarming.This Complex issue of his is so gonna be in for a ride with nandhini around..

All said, can nandhini get any adorable? she is the perfect modern women of the world with all right combinations of beauty and brain.

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Titli

@afterlife.

Stunner

+ 5

Posted: 10 years ago

I like independent women. Yah its always good to feel someone standing by you to hold your hand in need but only when you really need. Manik's brought up like that. He felt he is the one who the protective shield and savior of fab5. He said it to Nandini already on New year night. He would have to be with his friends to protect them and Nandini needs to be with him to protect him n shine for him. The care n protection comes naturally when you love someone deep down in your heart.. Manan no difference.

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BoxedIn

@BoxedIn

Dazzler

Posted: 10 years ago

I don't think Manik has a God complex as such, he knows he's not infallible, and he's willing (and trying) to change. I'd say he's more of a 'saviour' type- the one who feels it is his responsibility to shield is loved ones from harm or trouble of any kind, even if they don't want him to. Everything else you've said about this, I completely agree.

I like the MaNan story most of all because it's not a 'knight in shining armour saves damsel in distress' fairytale. It is a story of two very different individuals, and of their ability to complement each other's strengths and weaknesses, and to be 'partners' in the true sense of the word.

We are so used to thinking that 'saving' someone is romantic and that being 'saved' is very attractive, and I like how KY2 is subtly undercutting this (very heteronormative) perception. But even reversing the gender roles is wrong I feel. Just as I don't like the idea of Manik saving his friends or Nandini all the time, I don't like the idea of Nandini saving Manik from himself either. It's wrong and demeaning in so many ways. I'd rather they ask each other tough questions, learn from each other, and grow stronger to fight their own battles. And if one of them stumbles, the other should be there to give him a helping hand and urge him to carry on, no questions asked, no judgements passed. Man or woman, doesn't matter. Self-respect does, and in a healthy relationship it should exist for both the partners.

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eveline

@eveline

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 10 years ago

Loving this forum today...its a veritable feast of thoughts and sensibilities and ...so much to read and absorb and mull about..😛

What you have pointed out today has struck me time and again, in big and small situations, that Fab 5 indulges and thrives and sometimes even takes advantage of Manik's God playing attitude. They simply leave it on Manik's shoulders...and Manik loves it when they do that. Wrong choice of words here...he wants them to do that...he as trained them, seasoned them to leave it all to him. Years of doing cannot be undone so easily. He takes charge and they let him cause it makes everything so much simple and easier.and he has broad shoulders 😉...its all about implicit trust in him. In the process, Manik has paid a price...whether he wanted to play daddy or not in the first place, now he has learnt to put everyone first and himself last, which is just not healthy. Not healthy for his heart nor head..

Nandini too has had been a caretaker her entire life...her parents early demise, Rishabh's condition, living with her grandmother...she has always been a caregiver, in charge person..and that brings them closer and yet can tear them apart also.

He needs to be in charge, cause that's how he feels needed...and she is strongly independent and can take care of not only herself but also others around her, she is just not the needy sort. Collision course??...may be, may be not. Lately these two and the way they handle issues, have won a lot of respect from me. Their gradual progression and evolution as a couple is a treat for the senses, be it emotional, physical or intellectual. They are learning to crawl, before taking baby steps and learning to walk before running...exactly the way it should be in a new blossoming relationship. They are so good at exploring, discovering and understanding each other that for now I am totally reassured. With time she will learn to bask in his protectiveness and he will learn to be reassured by her strength.

What can I say...Gods need humans as much as humans need Gods...😉!! And the only one who can point out to him that he is no God..is the woman he worships like a Goddess😃!!

sorry...didn't touch the main question...in this case..neither is he a traditional man nor she a traditional woman, they both are path makers and rule breakers in their own ways...so they will make a good team..but in real life...hmm...rarely have come across a man who is willing for a role reversal. With men ego is a big thing, and being a man in front of the world really matters.They claim the world's changing..yes, it is... so there is hope but the change is in bits n pieces, in some pockets, but the larger picture almost remains the same. Progress is excruciatingly slow..so can men and women trade places...yes...does it happen...no..not yet..will it happen...patience is the name of the game.

Edited by eveline - 10 years ago

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Aliyagogoi

@Aliyagogoi

Rocker

Posted: 10 years ago

Originally posted by: eveline
Loving this forum today...its a veritable feast of thoughts and sensibilities and ...so much to read and absorb and mull about..😛

What you have pointed out today has struck me time and again, in big and small situations, that Fab 5 indulges and thrives and sometimes even takes advantage of Manik's God playing attitude. They simply leave it on Manik's shoulders...and Manik loves it when they do that. Wrong choice of words here...he wants them to do that...he as trained them, seasoned them to leave it all to him. Years of doing cannot be undone so easily. He takes charge and they let him cause it makes everything so much simple and easier.and he has broad shoulders 😉...its all about implicit trust in him. In the process, Manik has paid a price...whether he wanted to play daddy or not in the first place, now he has learnt to put everyone first and himself last, which is just not healthy. Not healthy for his heart nor head..

Nandini too has had been a caretaker her entire life...her parents early demise, Rishabh's condition, living with her grandmother...she has always been a caregiver, in charge person..and that brings them closer and yet can tear them apart also.

He needs to be in charge, cause that's how he feels needed...and she is strongly independent and can take care of not only herself but also others around her, she is just not the needy sort. Collision course??...may be, may be not. Lately these two and the way they handle issues, have won a lot of respect from me. Their gradual progression and evolution as a couple is a treat for the senses, be it emotional, physical or intellectual. They are learning to crawl, before taking baby steps and learning to walk before running...exactly the way it should be in a new blossoming relationship. They are so good at exploring, discovering and understanding each other that for now I am totally reassured. With time she will learn to bask in his protectiveness and he will learn to be reassured by her strength.

What can I say...Gods need humans as much as humans need Gods...😉!! And the only one who can point out to him that he is no God..is the woman he worships like a Goddess😃!!

sorry...didn't touch the main question...in this case..neither is he a traditional man nor she a traditional woman, they both are path makers and rule breakers in their own ways...so they will make a good team..but in real life...hmm...rarely have come across a man who is willing for a role reversal. With men ego is a big thing, and being a man in front of the world really matters.They claim the world's changing..yes, it is... so there is hope but the change is in bits n pieces, in some pockets, but the larger picture almost remains the same. Progress is excruciatingly slow..so can men and women trade places...yes...does it happen...no..not yet..will it happen...patience is the name of the game.

I just love your way of explaining everything...that's it...

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-mehr-

@-mehr-

Voyager

Posted: 10 years ago

I don't quit agree with Manik having a God-Complex instead he poses more of a Messiah-Complex (savior) 😆

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Kshithi

@Muggle_Diaries

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 10 years ago

First question:

Manik has this need to take care of FAB5, need be their saviour. They are his "Family", his constant, his "Safe" place. Hence the need to maintain the status quo, to make sure everyone around is happy and content. Only then he would feel safe to be happy and content himself. Or he owes them that because they offer him his safe zone. Hence scarifying his love for his friend, because he owes him that.

Second question:

Regarding Man and Woman's roles. As Genie said, we really need to keep in mind the time in which we are talking about it. The roles assigned long back need not be relevant today.

For me, both woman and man are care givers and receivers, depending on the situations. It is okay to woman to lean on man for solace and comfort. And it is equally fine for a man to shed a tear and lean on woman for a shoulder. There should not be a "role" at all.

Love

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Manik, Nandini and the God Complex

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