dunno if this has been posted earlier or nt.if posted mods can delete it.found it interestng so posting.
Posted on Tuesday 29 November 2005
When was the last time you felt like throwing things around the house? Or blaring your voice box to vent anger at your partner? If your answer is 'recently' or 'often' take heart because you are among the majority of men who tend to bottle up their anger.
It is a paradox of sorts that the male species, known to be far more aggressive than their female counterparts, choose to keep anger burning inside rather than letting the flames out. As psychologist Dr Pastiche Shoran points out, "The intensity of anger varies from person to person. Some tend to be conservative and build walls around themselves. In a relationship, men might not express anger due to their apprehension of upsetting their partners. This can prove very harmful as after a certain point, the stifled anger may come out either in a violent burst of emotion or may lead to depression."
Infidelity and insecurity seem to be the prime reasons for men to conceal their anger. Popular TV artist Rajeev Khandelwal is of the opinion that expression is the best form of honesty. "Saying what you feel, no matter how unpleasant, helps you set things straight. If you want to scream, just go ahead and do so. If your partner is understanding enough, she'll know what you are going through," he adds.
While flowers and chocolates are a means of expressing love, anger is a different emotion all together. Television actor, Chetan Hansraj, who recently tied the knot reveals," When I lose my temper, which is quite often, I yell at everyone in my line of sight. After all, I don't believe in beating around the bush. And more often than not, I end up having my way."
But most men are not as expressive as he is. Delhi based psychologist, Dr Sanjay Chugh says, "Communication channels have to be kept open to sustain the relationship. Men definitely find it more difficult to express anger because of their biological, psychological and social make up. Men are traditionally supposed to be macho and have their emotions in control, which adds to the difficulty."
But don't lose heart yet ladies, as there is still hope. "Being more proactive and giving your man space will help instill confidence in him to express his feelings. Also, allow things to sink in and try settling matters with greater understanding," advises Dr Sharan. As for the men, we'd say it's ok to lose your cool once a while.
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