Part 4B – Final Destination
~ All diversions meet... where destiny stands awaiting. ~
"Tum pagal hogaye ho…" she stated with as much contempt as her betraying heart would allow. With that, she dropped the object in hand and started to walk away… unsure. What had not convinced her, certainly did not communicate as she felt herself being forcefully turned… Dread spelled into her meek heart as she realized the menial chances of escape… if any were available at all. "Adi…" she tried to protest as he grabbed her shoulders… her feet unwillingly treading backwards… until there was no… escape. Her wrists struggled futilely against the stubbornness of his grasp… as her eyes did the same with his.
As the sand slipped through the glass vase in some secluded corner… of a silent desk, the strength of his gaze dimmed… Tum jaanti ho Maithali, tumhari aankhon mein mera intezaar kabse hai…It was true… it always had been… Aur merii aankhon ko tumhari talaash…A slightly thicker line of film crossed his vision… Toh meri talaash ko manzil se milado Maithali… apne intezaar ko rahat…his eyes pleaded. A pause instilled in the muted conversation, as she seemed to reacquaint her heart and mind. In the struggle for supremacy, she was still unaware of which had reigned… She suddenly felt afraid… afraid of herself. Uncertain of what would emerge victorious, she unknowingly realized the pain shooting up from her wrist. The lone, forgotten bangle accompanying her wrist had saved her… as it sank into her skin… leaving an unfelt wound. "Adi… mujhe dard ho raha hai…" she whispered in a barely audible tone. Almost immediately, she felt the grip on her deaden… as her hands fell to her sides. Blinking away, she looked towards the ground… The numerous taunts… voices of unseen owners… filled her mind… No. I'm sorry Adi…mujhe maaf kardena, she thought… before quickly stepping into the shadows… obliviously holding onto the forgotten pain of her wrist.
*~*
"Adeee…" Broken from thoughts, he felt slightly unnerved at the voice filtering through the invincible barrier around him. Blinking a few times, he graced the presence next to him with tender eyes. "Mamma…" he whispered delicately as though it were a fragile image he were witnessing. Reading her eyes, he felt as though unexpectedly draped with the warmth of a comforting shawl in the middle of a chilly winter evening. Clearing away the stealthy fog hovering over him, he blinked a few times… slowly, as though relishing the luxurious presence… She was gone… but not entirely. In place of Mayuri… was Parvati Agarwal. A gentle bitterness of his disappointment became visible as he turned quickly away from her gaze. After a pause, he felt her stand above him… as he sat unsmilingly still, on the quiet bench. There was no way of proving it still, but he could sense her hand lingering above his head. He realized the stroke of hesitancy… but then this day would leave no room for such doubts. Finally, her soft touch melted upon his head… softly, lovingly caressing it. The foggy image of his mother readily blended into the one reality showed him. Without pausing for thought, he did the only thing that he could do… Enclosing her abdomen in his arms, he buried the side of his face in her sheltering aanchal. "Parvateeee Mamma…" he wept. Her motherly gesture had momentarily lapsed with time… and now it returned with no inhibitions. For uncounted minutes, she allowed herself the pleasure of this moment… where she for a few precious minutes, found the little boy she had left behind years ago… but could never forget. Seeing him like this… breaking… she realized partially why he of all her grandchildren held such a distinct spot in her heart. Despite everything, there was genuineness to his character… an individual rawness. There were few who had such quality, and rarity has always found appreciation even in the most stubborn of souls.
For a sterling moment, he remained thus… bathing in the strangely familiar affection pouring over him. For once, all he wanted to do was… cry. And so he did. He wept for the irredeemable loss he suffered… they suffered… the time they lost… the life. For the weakness… for the helplessness… All the while, the soft caressing of her tender touch slowly piled together the scattered.
For so many years, she had endured a painful vacancy in life. So much of it had been filled as her family found their Parvati back… but today, she felt a satisfaction that no other joy could have filled. There was a missing piece in the jigsaw of her life, which had made itself present at each phase… To an extent, she had been the cause of this incompleteness. But as the moment dawned on her, all silence spoke generously… as old wounds ultimately found healing. "Vikram…Aditya… Mehra" she whispered softly, slowly… relishing each second, each letter. As though sensing the change in the air, she noticed the grip on her tightened.
To an onlooker, the sight would be a revelation… An uncommon experience to witness a man of such calibre fall prey to the shadow of time. The veil of love was a strange thing. It held the ability to divulge secrets unbeknownst to those who possess them…
Hesitantly releasing from his grasp, she seated herself next to him, while he looked on with an innocence she had almost forgotten… and perhaps he had himself. The thought of such failure intimidated her for a minute, but as she lifted her hand to wipe the dried tears from his cheeks, all fears cleared. " For a business man of your competence Mr. Vikram-Aditya Mehra, you certainly have a shallow sense of dealing… But, I suppose love is no business deal." Startled, he looked up transfixed by her choice of comfort to him. " Wohe tumse bahut pyaar karti hai beta. She always has… even in those clashes you had. Tab bhi, aaj bhi… aur humesha" (She loves you a lot dear. She always has… even in those clashes you had. Then, today… and always). She paused for a second, allowing the known to sink in. "Lekin main ye tumhe kyun bata rahi hoon, tum toh jaante ho," (But why am I telling you this, you already are aware) she stated looking deep into the dark reservoirs holding her image desperately.
During an unusual pause in life, she glimpsed over her shoulder… only to be overwhelmed by astonishment. The Vikram-Aditya Mehra she knew was always a solid persona… a man of undue control… quite like another she knew... If it were a moment of the past, disappointment would nauseate her, but not today. Her heart sparkled in an almost childish way. Ah, the works of love…It could unleash chaos from the depths of a raging heart… but it also could break the unbreakable… unwind the controlled… all in the span of a single moment. With a reminiscent smile touching upon her lips, she poured into him for another breather before continuing. "Joh kal tah… wohe taah… Joh hona hai… wohe ho kar rahega… Agar humaare bas mein kuch hai, toh wohe hai… ye pal… (What was… is a part of the past… What is to come… is inevitable… If we have anything… it is this moment...).
She allowed her deceitfully calm muscles to unwind as she observed his do the same. They sat in silence for uncounted minutes… neither holding any expectations, no questions, no… nothing. It was questionable if they even realized each other's presence.
"I'll see you inside." And with that, she tipped his head forward planting a soft kiss upon his forehead before walking back into the night… while the tender feel of her lips lingered on his skin for a while longer…
*~*
From the shadows surrounding the basketball field, Shruti Kaul had witnessed the encounter between two of the three most important people piecing her life. Even in the distance, she had seen the man crumble to the boy in fleeting minutes… as she relived incidents of the past. She had noticed the woman fall into the vulnerable girl… But what she had felt was the oldness of a golden pain… the pain of unspoken love. It touched her in the depths as she watched the girl walk away, while the boy aged in the soreness of seeing her in ache. Such a wicked trap it was. The girl wanted to shroud the boy from the world's taunting eyes… while he had no option but to relent in the face of her fragility. Love is such a complicated thing… the simplest of emotions, yet the most inexplicable. Sighing inwardly, she recalled some incidents of the life she had lived years ago… Closing her eyes momentarily, she recalled hazily, the features of Aryan… her first love. The familiar disappointment crawled within her as the misty picture brought with it sharp, piercing memories… Already dim, the faded image defrosted into a much dearer reality… Sameer. Soaking herself in the flashes of passed time spent with him, she slowly opened her smiling eyes. No, she would not allow such a remarkable light fall into the dust of night…never.
*~*
Milan ka kissa ho, yaan bhichadne ki dastaan,
Rukta nahin ye paani… tehrta nahin koi mehmaan,
Pahado ke upar… zameen ke neeche…
Jaati hai nadi wahan, jis taraf manzil hai keenche.
Shruti Kaul watched, as the old swing performed its loyal obligation to the one sitting upon it. Sifting through her mind, she pictured the many times she had spent on that steel platform… The fluttering reminiscent smile still remained over her lips as she dazedly walked forward, seating herself welcomingly upon the empty space next to the girl. Lifting her eyes towards the night's sky, she absentmindedly extended a comforting arm around the head that had silently borrowed her shoulder.
"Bahut khoobsurat raat hai na…" she wondered aloud, distantly aware of her thoughts releasing to the open silence. In response, she noticed the head on her shoulder lift for a passing second, before reacquainting with the comfort. It certainly was a beautiful night. The sky was a thick black… specked with a few stars, here and there. It reminded her of a particular dupatta she had once seen in a shop while visiting Rajasthan years ago. Rajasthan… a plethora of colours… a brightness of life. She had been walking down a street bazaar filled with the bustle of vendors and customers exchanging the beautiful shades… lost in them. Suddenly, Sameer had held her hand, stopping her while bringing numerous colourful bangles upon her wrist. Her eyes and heart had danced with excitement… wandering from her amused husband and their crowded surroundings. In one of those spare moments of wandering away from Sameer, her gaze had settled upon a wave of black as it flapped without restraint in the soft breeze. The shimmer from the little gems tried to deflect her attention away, but this only seemed to make her more determined as she left her husband's side while the latter attended to payments. As she approached the careless dupatta, the entirety of the rack it was hanging upon came into focus. Amidst an array of different lively colours, was this solid, penetrating black… the only one that caught her eye. It was like love at first sight… she didn't know why. All she knew was, that she wished it were hers… and so it became… Now, as she looked upon the sky with blankness… it was as though someone had draped the dupatta over her face once more. Abruptly, she turned to look at the pastel yellow draped figure beside her. "Maithali, mere saath chalo," she told the girl getting up immediately.
A mixture of girlish excitement and matured motherly affection bubbled within her as she pulled out the beautiful soft material from its deep home in her cupboard. Turning towards the still surprised Maithali, she brought the material slowly from behind her back, lovingly unravelling it. Throwing the dupatta over the girl's head, she stared at her with a stroke of satisfaction writ over her face. Taking the girl by the shoulder, she turned her around to face the glass that responded by showing their image. Perfect, she thought. "Maithali, maine ye dupatta Rajasthan se liya tah… bahut saal pehle" (Maithali, I had bought this dupatta from Rajasthan… years ago). Silence… Turning around, she walked towards the open window, conscious of the eyes following her. "Pata nahin, par tab kitne rangon ke beech mein, mujhe sirf ye pasand aya tah uss din… Aisa lagta tah jaise ye dupatta mera naam odh kar intezaar kar raha hai… aur aakhir meri nighaaon ne isse dhoondh hi liya" (I don't know why, but then, amidst so many other colours, I was attracted to this one only… It was as though it were flapping in the air with my name writ over, awaiting… and my eyes found it, finally). A long pause instilled as she peered into the night again. "Jab main choti teeh, mamma ne bataya ke jab koi hume iss duniya mein chodh kar chala jaata hai, toh wohe wahan… uss asmaan mein tara ban kar hume duayein deta hai" (When I was younger, mamma told me that when someone passed away, they went up there… and became a star in the sky, showering us with their blessings). Another pause… short… "Iss dupatte par ye chamakte hue taare dekh rahi ho… ye meri hazaron duayein hain… tumhaare liye" (You see all of these sparkling stars on this dupatta… these are my numerous blessings… just for you). So saying, she slowly walked back towards the girl, tenderly extending a hand towards her soft cheek. A solitary tear escaped her eye pairing with a gentle, but prominent smile as she retreated the hand. For an enduring minute, she rummaged through the girl's deceiving expressions… until the faade tumbled while a thin film of sorrow crossed over Maithali's eyes. That was the moment she turned to leave…
*~*
Zindagi hai…dhuaan toh kya…
Bujh gayi har subha toh kya…
Stepping into the dimmed setting, she could make out the shadowy figures sway obediently to the melody… painting her fate. Amidst the crowd, she stood… alone.
Rootah mujhse…khuda toh kya…
Hogaye hum judaa toh kya…
Everything seemed so faraway… within her grasp, but too far to touch. Faintly aware of it, she clung tighter to the shimmering black still lying faithfully over her head. Glancing around, her feet knowingly drew back into the darker area of the small balcony, as it overlooked the ignorant bodies lost in rhythm…
Faansle te hazaraon darmiyaan…
Waqt ke te hazaron imtihaan…
Phir bhi ban ke nishaan…
Tere honton ke kisi koney mein… hassi ki tarah…
A sad smile crossed her lips as she relapsed briefly into that time when he had grasped her as such. While the music mingled in the air, in the few moments he had held her, she had found in his eyes, a depth of which she felt no other had roamed… It was as though it was alien to the world… and she had naively, but momentously slipped into it.
Main mehfuz hoon…
Her eyes closed intuitively as the familiar face entered the realm of her existence more firmly yet again. Acutely conscious of his presence, she allowed the tired drop of moisture fall through her closed eye.
Teri aankhon ke… chipey dard mein… aansoon ki tarah…
Feeling herself being gently caged, she did not protest. Rather to her surprise, she hated how his arms took their time encasing her in their hold. She hated how long it took for his heartbeats to reach her own… as they transfused through his chest… into her back… through her heart. She hated how he did not force her… yet there was a control at work. She hated herself… for being unable to respond… for not responding…
Main mehfuz hoon…mehfuz hoon…
He didn't turn her around… not yet. Nonetheless, the expressions of her face were as clear to him as the genuineness of this moment.
Bewajah har wajah toh kya…
Begunnah hi… haigunna toh kya…
Be-asar hai… dua toh kya…
Hogaye hum judaa… toh kya…
Slowly, but surely, he felt her head fall lightly upon his collarbone… as he entwined his fingers with hers. There was no trembling today… just a soft flutter of assurance.
Raaz gehre hazaron bepanah…
Lafz tehre hazaaron bezubaan…
Phir bhi ban ke nishaan…
Tere honton ke kisi koney mein… hassi ki tarah…
Gently, he cradled her in his arms… as though she were a fragile dream…. Noticing her relaxed composure, a thrill of content swept him away… into a distant place.
…
The unexpected rigidity of her composure interrupted the silent bliss having overwhelmed him seconds before. Overpowering the warmth, which had been just present, dread took over. Unwilling to let it be spoiled, he released her only to turn her fiercely around… He caught the discrete fear travelling through her eyes… her eyes. They implored him again… but there was no turning back, it was no longer a matter of choice. He pulled her close… deathly close. Her forehead met his, as he continued to pour into her hesitant gaze… With each passing second, a layer of moisture crossed her vision… as the clogged emotions unleashed without her will… As they creased upon her face, each one seemed to lament the loss of time… the time they had endured in torturous waiting.
Mehfuz hoon…
Unable to bear it no more, she surrendered. The walls of her fortress had fallen… the siege was an utter success. But there was no remorse, no sense of loss here. The tentative had collapsed into what was always inevitable… After all, the works of destiny were unchallenged by nature. Time knowingly condensed into a speck of significance, while the past and future blended into the forgotten. This moment she would live once, but feel… in every second life offered. At last, the strength in his hold consumed all other thoughts… her hesitancies… her.
*~*
This was it. Temptation had taken over the last drop of patience. Turning her head mildly to the side, a gentle smile crossed her lips. Extending a hand, she softly stroked the side of his muffled hair, quickly pulling back, determined not to disturb his slumber. Bringing the covers to his shoulder and tip-toed towards the door.
Sweet luck! Her face beamed in eager excitement as she lifted the sinful-looking chocolate cake, settling it carefully on the marble island counter. For a minute, she stared at it, deciding if she should cut out a piece… "Ouch…" Her eyes squinted for a minute, while her hand automatically reached the bulge of her stomach. Like father, like son, she thought with a flicker of impatience. And then the smile returned, as though never having left its place on her lips. They hadn't found out, but somehow, she knew… her little Samrat was back. She could feel it, literally. "Fine," she whispered softly bending forth while rubbing her hand over her tummy. She had purposely kept the lights off, and decided to only turn on the one above the range, while opening the blinds to the lone window in the kitchen. A shameless full moon gazed back in the absence of his starry companions.
Finding a spoon, she excitedly turned towards where the desert was waiting for her… them. Pulling back the tall chair, she was about to sit down, when it filled with another's presence. She looked over astonished as the spoon once in her hand, was now filled with chocolate cake… disappearing into a joyous mouth.
"Acha hai… thanks." He smirked inwardly at her reaction. With a spoonful ready afore, he began to bring it towards his mouth once more, but then stopped seeing her dumbfounded expression. Amused, he forwarded the spoon towards her, "Khaogi?" Her hazel eyes turned two shades darker. Clearly, she was unimpressed. Even so, he got a strange thrill out of this, wondering how long it would take before he would have to succumb to her wrath. Besides, anger only seemed to her abundance of dusky beauty. With a shrug of the shoulder, he again began his unabashed indulgence, very much aware of her continually fuming presence.
"Dr. Vikram-Aditya Mehra, iss cake par kissi aur ka haq hai," she stated firmly. He was a damn good actor, she told herself while he continued munching on her treat! Unable to take it any longer, she grabbed the empty spoon from his hands just as he was about to dig in further to the brown heaven. "Adeeee!" she whispered annoyed. He stared back flabbergasted, with his hand still in the air, stopped mid motion. "Sweetheart, you could have just said!" he told her with utmost innocence. She glared at him. And then dug into the cake, relishing the taste while it melted in her mouth. The movements in her stomach thundered for another minute. "Move over," she demanded without taking attention off the desert. He didn't budge. Finally, she looked over, "Adi, zara doosri seat par move ho jao na." Her voice dripped with the sugar she tasted.
Without much thought, he pulled her back towards him, effectively seating her in his lap. "Adeee!" she protested through bits of cake. "Hmmm…" he answered amused. She continued chewing for a second, while re-filling the empty spoon. Turning it towards her mouth, she stopped. Her gaze shifted to his handsome face, the reflection of her mind. "Cake?" she asked, offering the piece to his mouth. A slender smile crossed his lips… growing and growing… as he took the desert in his mouth. Their laughter sang in the silent air as she teased him with the next spoonful, bringing it to him… but quickly stealing it away. He didn't let her, holding it out. The struggle continued for another minute and he noticed her get impatient. "Acha teekh hai, adha adha," she suggested rather coolly. A half-grin played upon his lips expectantly as she brought the spoon her mouth. Her lips reached half-way down, lingering there for a testing pause. The ends of her mouth suddenly curved upwards as she retreated the spoon, still half-full… offering it to him.
Half an hour later, the two sat contentedly still… lost in thoughtless bliss. Her head sat with satisfaction on his chest, while his hand covered hers at the front of her stomach. Time too, sat still as words drifted far off. Until…
"Maithali… " he wondered aloud. "Hmm…" she answered after a long, sweet pause. "Agar aisa chalta raha, toh main paanch mahino tak sumo wrestler banjaoonga" (If this keeps continuing, then within these five months, I'm going to become a sumo wrestler). She looked up from beneath his chin, staring at him in disbelief. Damn sly grin, she thought… smacking him lighting on the chest once she laughed. "Tum bhi na Adi" They laughed freely, until the silence returned.
"Adi?" she called his name questioningly. He looked down at her, waiting. "Mujhe toh waise koi problem nahin hai… Haan lekin, Sam ka pata nahin," she stated while pulling his cheek. The mysterious grin reappeared as though on cue, slowly growing as did the smile on her lips. "I love you…" he whispered tightening his hold on her hand as it lay still securely upon her stomach.
*~*
"Sssss…sss…"
There was a humble tranquility in the air. Much like the freshness after a long exhaustion. The powerful waves crashed melodiously amongst each other… as though whispering the unheard. Far in the distance, the sleepy sun finally reached the end of his day's grace… slowly blending into the abundance of colourful hues. The sky was a plethora of purple… orange… yellow… red… From some unseen corner of this vastness, emerged the lively call of a flock of birds as they endeavoured on a journey home.
"Ka… ka… kaa…"
A pair of faraway eyes, lost amidst the calm, witnessed this abundance of serenity in silence. There was a distinct clarity in the eyes, as they travelled unfalteringly across the skies. It was almost as though they had just opened after years of dormancy… or felt the old anew… A blink of acknowledgment was offered to the recent presence following their gaze.
"Paro…"
Oblivious to her, her right index finger had been rummaging through the sand as it extended all around. As the familiar voice penetrated her blankness, the indifferent movement ceased. She could feel the eyes still search the endless mass of darkening shades, but she did not turn to address them… nor the voice. Her ears seemingly numbed to the other sounds… Time was indeed a valuable thing.
In a few significant moments, a swift current had materialized… as though arising from the long shaanti.
"Aaj sab bhool jaaye Mr. Mehra…" Pause… No movement. A long silence ensued… as indeed, everything slowly fleeted…
Her thoughts ran loose… a million miles an hour… of nothing. Despite the numbness, she couldn't help but recall the obvious.
"Vikram…Aditya…" she whispered into the slender breeze as it carried it away whence it had come… into the unknown. Remaining in her position, she noticed the twitch of movement beside her from the corner of her eyes. A pensive smile deceivingly touched upon her lips. "Tumhara Vikram… aur mera Aditya…" the edges of her smile deepened slightly. A long breath of what seemed like satisfaction ensued. "Joh kahani barson se adhoori thi, wohe inn bachon ne poori kardi na…" (The story which had for years been incomplete, has now been completed by these children…) She again noticed the movement upon the barely parted lips… Before they could find voice, she filtered the air with her voice. "Aaj koi gillah nahin… koi shiqwa nahin…Main jaanti hoon Yash…" (Today there is no bitterness… no hard feelings… I know Yash…) Silence. Her voice had suddenly betrayed her, as it broke from composure… So long her lips had thirsted to speak the name, and now as it slipped by… it unleashed long buried moments.
Blinking, again her eyes addressed the sky. "Om jaante tehe…" (Om knew…) She sensed the more apparent jerk of the head beside her. "Maine unhe shaadi ki pehle raat hi batadiya tah… Aur phir, unhon ne tumhe dhoondhne ki bhi kitni koshish kii… lekin tumhara koi pata nahin chalah…" (I told him on the night of our marriage… And then, he tried to find you everywhere… but you were never found…) There was an edge of sadness to her tone now… a sense of loss engulfed her. "Wohe khud ko humaare beech mein aane ke liye koste tehe. Tum ne unke ehsaano ke badle apna pyar kurbaan kar diya, aur chale gaye… Lekin main, main toh jaise wahin tham gayi…" (He constantly blamed himself for coming in between us. You, having sacrificed your love in the name of his many favours had gone… But me… it was as though I had stopped in the midst of that time…) Pause… "Waqt ke saath, meri duniyaa badal gayi…Om ke saath maine bahut kuch paya… Haan lekin, kuch ghav tehe… joh kabhi seene na paaye." (With time, my world changed… I attained so much with Om… But yet, some wounds remained unfilled…) Silence… "Lekin aaj… aaj beeta hua kal hai, naa aane wala waqt… Aaj sirf hai, toh wohe ye pal…" (But today… today recalls no past, no coming future… Today there is nothing, but this moment…) Pause… "Agar main kahoon ke iss waqt ke daur mein maine tumhari kammi mehsoos nahin kii, toh ye galat hoga…Bahut karvahat se hi, lekin maine tumhe yaad kiya… Kahin na kahin, uss karvahat mein ek apnepan ka ehsaas bhi tah shayad. Main naraaz thi… Haq tah mera… Om ne mere dil mein toh jagaye bana lii… lekin joh jageh tumhaari thi, wohe kabhi bhar na paayi." (If I say that in the stream of this time I had not felt the void you left, then I would be wrong… With a lot of anguish, but I did remember you… Even in that, there was a sense of beloved-ness perhaps. I was upset… I had the right to be… Om had found a spot in my heart… but the spot which you had filled, that could never be filled) The tone of dulled pain could be noticed in the slight tremor in her voice, but she continued nonetheless.
At length, she took a calming breath and turned to face him. "Agar main tumse kuch maangu, toh doh ge? " She paused, searching the eyes pouring into her with a touch of sympathetic nostalgia. She knew the world would be hers if she asked. "Tumhaari dosti… Yash…" A flash of a smile crossed his gaze… echoing upon her own… Sitting back, she rightfully extended her head over his awaiting shoulder… "Wohe toh kabse tumhaari amanat hai… Paro."
He noticed the grip on his arm tighten loosely as the sparkling black consumed their attention up above…
Thats it guys... Thanks a ton for bearing with me!!
Cheers,
dc
Fan Fictions
Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
