Johnny Lever's Jokes...!! - Page 2

Priyanka, where do you get these jokes from?

I loved the Aplicant one

Originally posted by: gk_09

Priyanka, where do you get these jokes from?

oh dont worry i got more... i got them from his site!!!

More jokes:

Made in India

A Japanese tourst hired a cab and told the driver Banta Singh to drive to the Airport. During the journey, a Honda drove past

the taxi. There upon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, 'Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!.'
After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi, again, the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, 'Toyota, very fast!

Made in Japan!'
And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, 'Mitsubishi,

very fast! Made in Japan!'
Banta was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars. Finally, the taxi came to the

airport. The fare was Rs 800. The Japanese exclaimed, 'What?? ... so expensive!'
Banta yelled back, 'Meter, very fast! Made in India!'

Impressing Bill Clinton

A Sardarji went to the US and had a meeting with Bill Clinton.
Bill: I want to show you how advanced the US is. Come with me.
He takes him to a forest.
Bill: Dig the ground.
Sardarji began the task.
Bill: More...more...more...
Sardarji went up to 100 feet.
Bill: So now, try to search something.
Sardarji: I got a wire.
Bill: You know, it shows that even 100 years ago we used to have telephones.
Sardarji became frustrated. He invited Bill to India.
Sardarji : I want to show you our advancement.
He takes Bill to a forest and asks him to dig..
Sardarji : More...more...more...
Bill digs up to almost 400 feet..
Sardarji : Try to find something.
Bill: There is nothing here.
Sardarji : You know, it shows that even 400 years ago, we used to have WIRELESS!!

Wife's affair

Within two weeks of moving into a new house, the homeowner had to call an electrician, a roofer, a plasterer and a carpenter.
One afternoon, he returned from work early and saw a plumber's truck in the driveway.
'Lord,' he pleaded, looking skyward, 'please let my wife be having an affair.'

I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go on our anniversary?'
She said: Somewhere I have never been!
I told her, How about thekitchen?'

My wife and I have a secret to making a marriage last.
Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food....
She goes on Tuesdays, I go Fridays.


How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done for free.

Teacher: Four girls are walking down the road. Change it into an exclamatory sentence!
Boy: Wow!


Want to hear a dirty joke?
Two pigs jumped into the mud.
Want to hear a clean joke?
They took a bath!

Answering Machine!

A Sardarji who bought a new phone with the latest model of answering machine had to disconnect it the very next day.
He was very disturbed when he heard his friend say: 'Abey, phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hoon.'


Gutsy Indians!
Three Army Generals -- One American, one German and one Indian -- were arguing about whose soldiers had the most guts.
The American general called one of his men and told him to jump down the ship and take a round swimming around the moving

ship. The soldier did as he was told. When he came back from the water the American said: See how brave he is!
The German general called out for one of his men and asked him to take two similar rounds. The soldier did as he was told.
When he came back, See his guts!
Now, the Indian General called out for his most courageous man and asked him to take five similar rounds.
The soldier promptly replied,'Tere baap ka naukar hooon kya?????.'
At this, the General proudly said: See how gutsy Indians are!

Widowed ant

An ant married an elephant. Incidentally, the elephant died very next day. The ant was uncontrollable. Her friend asked:

'What happened?'. She said: 'I enjoyed only night of blissful marriage. Now, I have to spend rest of my life digging a grave

for my husband.'

Baljinder Kumar Chauhan


Never eat a developer


Five cannibals (man-eaters) get appointed as programmers in an IT company. During the welcoming ceremony, the boss says:

'You're all part of our team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the company canteen for something to eat.

So don't trouble the other employees.'

The cannibals promise not to trouble the other employees. Four weeks later, the boss returns and says: 'You're all working

very hard, and I'm very satisfied with all of you. One of our developers has disappeared, however. Do any of you know what

happened to her?' The cannibals deny they know anything about the missing developer.

After the boss has left, the leader of the cannibals says to the others: 'Which of you idiots ate the developer?'

One of the cannibals raises his hand hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals says: 'You FOOL! For four weeks we've

been eating team leaders, managers, and project managers and no one has noticed anything, and now YOU ate one developer and

it got noticed. So hereafter please don't eat a person who is working.'

No more brinjal!

A newly wedded wife cooks brinjal curry and serves it to her husband for lunch. He relishes it and is all praise for her,

saying even his mother couldn't cook like this.
The second day, she serves brinjal curry again and he says it is excellent. The third, she serves it again and he says it's

good. She serves the curry for a month, until one day, he screams, saying he hates brinjal curry.
Wife: You praised me so much all these days, why don't you like it now?
Husband: I have been eating this for the past one month. How do you expect me to like it? .
Wife: I'm shocked. It is the same brinjal curry I made one month back, I have been keeping it in the fridge and serving it to

you all these days. How can you not like it now?