Originally posted by: karkuzhali
How will it be if Heera and Akbar make entries in their diaries after the day's events?
Heera writes..
"..Oh!.. I am still not able to come out of my dreams.. Had anyone ever faced so many contradicting situations in a single day?...
It was a very hot morning.. sweltering heat.. Had to visit the villagers to know about the problem of coping up with additional families coming and settling there, sharing whatever little water they have... Ma Bhavani's grace..! So far I didn't notice any friction between them..
By the time I returned to the haveli, I was almost dead.. This awful, splitting headache!.. I took Gauri's medicine and lied down to get a few winks...
Suddenly, I was awakened by the sound of voices outside..
Khan Sahib had called me to his room on an important matter.. My mind was asking the question,'What could it be?'
I made myself a little presentable and went to his room. He wasn't there..I waited for him sitting on the only chair that was there near the table.. and what a sight it was! The scrolls were all strewn over the table and the one which was open, and which apparently looked like the one he was writing just before he left, caught my eye.. "Sahiba of Parnagarh.. brought under control..without much effort ..." What?
Is that what he was ultimately planning to do? Where did all his assurances go? Suddenly all my old apprehensions about him came back to me..
Before I finished reading he entered the room.. He apologised for keeping me waiting and asked me about my health.. Though within my heart I doubted his activities, I couldn't but admire his cool behaviour as if he did nothing wrong.. Why didn't I get angry? Why was I feeling guilty about reading the message stealthily? Why was I stammering to reply him when he asked me what was the matter troubling me?
Finally when he cleared my doubts with a calm face recollecting all the words in the scroll, why I did I feel silly and couldn't see his face straight?..
The things that happened thereafter.. I still blush when I think about it..This man is capable of being Samart Banna and Akbarkhan at the same time!
And then what was so important that I should be called there in person?
Yes.. it was about the scrolls he confiscated and burnt.. And now about how I should give orders to my messengers to keep their mouth shut.. My doubts about him again surfaced in my heart..I couldn't understand him..
And slowly he suggested that if I could take a trip with he could show me something which could be of importance to me..
How can I describe the tour.. It was like trekking , travelling on a trotting horse with a man without having any conversation.. My mind was filled with questions which I was unable to ask him..
Finally we reached our destination...
The diary entries are continued by Akbarkhan...
Akbarkhan writes..
It was a hectic day..I had to send very important messages to the Shehzaade.. While I was at work, I was summoned urgently to meet Mirza, on an important business.. I had already invited Heera to my room to discuss about a vital issue.. and now this problem.. I asked my servant to make her comfortable in the room ..I took a few minutes to be back..
But when I returned she was already there siting before the table I was working on..I felt really apologetic for keeping her waiting.. By just a look at her I understood that she was severely under stress, both mentally and physically.. The smell of eucalyptus indicated that she must be having sever headache due to the strenuous activities she must have had in the morning... My heart melted a moment for her.. How could I explain to her the reason why I beckoned her to my room?..
I wanted very badly to make her at ease... The lines of worry on her face were not due to her headache or tiredness.. It was something else...How could I find out?
My hands automatically cleared the table and while I was rolling the last scroll to be despatched, I slowly asked her what was troubling her..It was about the message I was writing to the Shehzaade..I guessed correctly.. I hastened to allay her doubt- (the doubt she would most likely to have about me as well)-by decoding the whole letter.. What a sudden transformation was there on her face?..A little shyness, a little guilt, a little happiness, a little mischief... all combined together.. It was a sight to relish..and her demand to meet Samart Singh! What a sweet request.. I was in all mood to please her ..to make her happy...to make her trust me ...always.. at any cost..
I could see her blush and giggle .. Will my God help me to keep her always like that?
I mentioned about my proposed trip to the valley without giving her the reason ..and when I said that the trip will be by riding on a horse, O God! The expression on her face!
She agreed to come with me.. and .. the poor girl..! she struggled to mount on Bahadur, eventhough he was friendly to her.. A lovely sight etched permanently in my memory..
After travelling for about two hours, of course without having any conversation between us, we reached our destination..I explained to her my plans to redress the danger of the water shortage by constructing a canal across the rocky plains..
Can I ever forget the excitement that her lovely face was showing then? She asked me to draw the sketch of the proposed canal on the ground for her to see clearly...
We had some small talk, that paved way for us to understand more of each other..There were some lighter moments..and the situation was hilarious.. Truly speaking, only my mouth was talking, but my eyes were devouring her beauty, her nobility, the conduct of her self, her unusual antics.. Oh God..how I wished I could hold her tight...
What followed was ordained by the heavens...she choked herself while drinking water from my flask..My heart skipped a beat.. I rushed to her bringing to my mind all possible immediate aid that I could give her to revive her.. "O God! Pl help me.." I cried...I blew strongly on her face twice.. she got back her breath..
The entire procedure took a few minutes..
During those few minutes, I could feel how her heart beat the same way as mine when I was near her..This encouraged me to take a step further ..She is my wife.. Just a while ago she was struggling to get back her breath.. She looked vulnerable.. I wanted to soothe her.. comfort her..I hugged her tight..
But what is the reason for those tears in her eyes? Why? I was confused..
I gave her all assurances ..and promises.. but..
She was trembling like a leaf.. I asked her why..
" Please ..I want to be alone.. Please don't force me.."
The words fell on my ears like a fireball...They tore my body as well as my heart.. But strangely I didn't want to show my disappointment and the damage those words had caused me.. I wanted to confront her and said deliberately, " I have forced you; and will force you when it is a matter of life and death..when it is a matter of your own safety..I did not force you to come with me for races or bet on my horses..I did not force you to giggle or laugh.. I do not force your beats to quicken whenever I approached you..and I did not forcefully hold you captive in my arms now either.. and ..and..I will not force you to lie with me solely because we are wedded by law''..
Was I angry? I can't say that.. Can I admit what I do for the Shezaade is wrong though it is such from her point of view?
Is her reluctance to consider me as her benefactor and well wisher justified?...
Karkuzhali.
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