I can only apologize for being a slacker ... there are so many ff on the forum and I get caught up reading them ... I love all the ff ... I see a lot of new readers and joined in and have begun posting stories as well ...thanks for being patient with me
Prema
Chapter 3
"I can't" - she pants against him, unable to catch her breath, "we shouldn't ... I just can't ...we can't do this, we can't have sex Jalal" placing her hands on against his chest pushes herself up ...looking into his lust filled eyes as he loses his grip on her waist ...he lets her pull back, waits for her calm down, resting his forehead against hers whispers "but we've already had sex before Jodha," she only nods, her pouty swollen lips quiver as her eyes fill with tears " I'm not ready to do it again ... I just don't know what to do, what to expect ...what to feel " She whispered ...for the first time in his life Jalal was being refused by a woman, truthfully he was disturbed by her words ... he couldn't blame her for not trusting him ...she had every right not to trust him, even if she doesn't know it... Unknowingly he had taken advantage of her grabbing her chin forces her to look into his eyes " look at me Jodha, if you are not ready I am willing to wait, as long as it takes, but don't make me wait too long ... I am being honest with you, I just want you to know how I feel and where I stand" she looks away, pauses lost in thought, hesitates a moment as though analyzing his words "I thought since you accepted my offer and moved into my penthouse you are okay with the terms of our relationship, I will never force myself on you, I want you to come to me willingly" stroking her back hoping she will come soon come to accept him as part of her life, much as he wanted to be honest with her ...he was stalling ...he could not tell her the exact reasons for his lack of commitment ... He just wanted to cling to her as long as she'd allow him ..he knew he was being a selfish jerk ... but he was not ready to let go of her ... he was Jalaluddin Mohammed and Jalal always gets what he wants ... "Jodha, for now just let me hold you then" shifting on the couch pulls her back against his chest ... They lay on the couch quietly in total silence rivaled only by their heart beats .. a strange feeling of satisfaction and comfort envelops him as he tries to compare his new found comfort and feeling with what he experienced in the past with a quick trysts of numerous nameless women, even with Rukiaya he never felt this way, yet today he did not have sex and it did not matter, he realizes there is nowhere else in the world he'd rather be than in her arms ... Just imagining how he would feel if he did was satisfying ...he was lost in this own thoughts "thank you" her soft whisper, her warm breath against his cheek ... Jo begins thinking ... a feeling of guilt burns within her she pushes him away getting up attempting to leave ...
She hears growl deep in his chest before his hand grabbed her arm, pulling her down onto the couch again ... he flipped her and hovered over settling himself between her legs, she gazed up at him, her eyes wide in surprise, his strong arms wrapped around her waist under the sheet as his lips crashed down to hers "I'll go slow, I promise, we don't have to have sex, we can experience a lot more than just sex, I am not done yet Jodha ... a lot to show you" he declared, his voice low and husky, his lips moving down her neck nipping soft kisses, Jo squirms protesting ... her hands pushed against his chest in an effort to push him away ...how dare he ...she thinks ... "stop fighting it, you liked me even before you knew it was me that you gave your virginity to, remember the restaurant.." he commands his tongue tracing circles slowly reaching the swell of her breasts ... "No, Mr Jalaluddin Mohammed stop ... stop now" she yelled, her breathing heavy, face flushed ... the sensations he was giving her were quickly breaking her down "Jodha" he breathed in her ear, she shivered looking up at him ...lust filled eyes looked back at her ... "you are already mine and will only be mine Jodha" Jo pushes him away gets out of his grasp rolls her eyes at him "I might have been old fashioned but this isn't the 1940's, do you even realize what you are saying?" she questioned as she glared at him "there is no way I will be yours just because you had sex with me, at that time I did not even know what was happening to me...I hate myself so much every day because of that incident ... I will not let go of my values ... I will not knowingly have a romantic relation with anyone without being married and that too with a married man ...and even if I decide to be in a relationship, it will never happen between us... you are a married man ... I will not hurt another woman ... I will not break up a marriage Jalal" pushing him she begins walking away "I can keep you happy, financially stable, and you'll have everything you desire, you can rule me at your will" he whispered "I will not be your cheap shot Mr Mohammed... you think so low of me, like I am some gold digging wh**e you can keep on the side, I will never be your mistress... I hate you Jalal" she spat angrily ... "I never thought of you like that Jodha, he exclaimed "get out" she snapped ... "I hate you Jalal, get out now before I call security to escort you out, no ... no... on second thought I should call the police and report you ...for trespassing"
He looked at her exasperated "Why Jodha, why are you doing this to me, you allowed me to kiss you, touch you...your" "Stop Jalal, it was all on big mistake ... a huge mistake, and it changes nothing ... I was training my sexuality ...learning from the master playboy ...for future reference" she explains walking towards the door, opens the door and gestures him out "why are you so stubborn Jodha, you won't even give me a chance? All I'm asking for now is to come on a date, one date to see if can accept something, anything between us" he pleaded " before I was an old fashioned fool I went on dates with no one but my ex fianc, I did not let him touch me, but now I am experienced, my body knows what it has been missing ... I will go on dates only with men I have an interest in, and definitely no dates with married men ... I have no interest in you at all" she responded "Damn it Jodha, you infuriate me, I hate you too" he yelled, slamming his hands on the wall on either side of her head Jo jumps seeing his sudden aggressive movement ...she could feel her body shudder when he leaned his forehead against hers, his warm breath caressed her face "I was your first and you will always hold a special place in your heart for me... can you feel this, I know you can" he whispers in a low voice, "this has to count for something," Jo looks up at him with a mask of indifference, "no, it doesn't, it is called sexual attractions ... can happen between any man and woman, did you not have sex with many different women...?" She heard him groan in frustration as she continued " I don't like your personality and this feeling you talk about is nothing but a primal sexual attraction which I am not willing to pursue further with a married man, and just sex is not what I am looking for in a relationship ...so there can be nothing between us and I will never be attracted to married men, which you are and sex is something I can get from any man I choose" his eyes flared up in anger as his hand wrapped around her neck "you are pissing me off badly Jodha" he warned, "it's your attitude... you are stubborn, cocky and condescending, why is it so damn hard for you to admit... us? Why this sudden sense of modesty?" he asked through clenched teeth, releasing her neck, his hands grab her shoulders squeezing them hard "you are the only one that I ever feel possessive about ..." he growled. "Right, possessive and that is supposed to make me feel special?" she laughed "get out Jalal, I hate you, get back to your wife, go on your honeymoon" ...his eyes blazing with anger and frustration "you don't have to admit it verbally, Jodha, you body tells me all I need to know, you want me" he declares before crashing his lips to hers, it was angry, and hot, moments later he pulls away, smirks grabs her chin forcing her to look at him and whispers "liar, but yes thanks for reminding me, I have to get back to my wife, we are leaving to our own private island ..." looking at his watch "my flight leaves tomorrow afternoon for our two week long honeymoon bliss with my beautiful wife, she is so sexy I will not have time to think about you" he was about to walk out when her grabs her hand pulling against his chest and whispers in her ears "lets keep us ... this a secret okay, just between you and me? You will be working with my best friends ... We will run into each other at work...people don't have to know what happened between us... I have a wife and a life to live ...without the complication of you being in the middle of it ... I don't want to lose her because of a mistake and you are a mistake that happened in my life, if you talk to others about us ...I will destroy you " pushes her away, and walks out slamming the door behind him.
The very next morning Jalal goes to Abdul's office ..."Abdul ... I ...um...want to talk to you ...get your advice ...maybe" Jalal stutters ... hesitates ... Abdul in full lawyer mode looks up from behind his desk ...suddenly all serious "All right Jalal what can I do for you?" Jalal shifts in his seat a little "this is really embarrassing, I am not even sure if I should be discussing this with you ... Except I really need an expert opinion, I am puzzled by my own feelings" Abdul smiles "it's not something related to Jodha is it?" Jalal nods "Jalal, you know you and I can talk about anything, we have been best friends since we were kids, man ... we exchanged pointer of our first sexual experiences together laughed and joked about it ... only difference, I am still with my first and you've moved along to many more ..." Jalal looks at him shakes his head smiling looks away "Jalal seriously ... I am not an expert in relationships, Salima has been my one and only ... I've fooled around in the past before her but did not get into a physical relationship, you on the other hand fooled around, got intimated jumped in and out of many beds, and stayed detached. "Well" Jalal chuckles ... that was then, I didn't care, what I am feeling now is scary ... but this feeling ... I don't know is different ... it just scares me ... I mean, its not like we are in a relationship or anything like that now, but I feel like an idiot for not being part of her life ... and everytime I see another man talking to her ... I want to break that person apart, bit by bit and burn them ... I hate what I am feeling ...thats why I don't want her working under you, please have her work with Salima ... Mirza is working with you closely and his friends will be visiting him as well and I don't want her exposed to his friends it is a little unsettling at present ... I hope you can understand what I am trying to tell you and please keep my relation with Jodha confident ...don't even discuss it with Salima" Abdul tries to knock some common sense into his friends head ...advices his friend to go on his honeymoon and forget Jodha "you are a married man now Jalal, you are not being fair to the person you married ... you decided to go through with the marriage in the end ...it was your decision ...100 % don't forget ...what ever the reason for that decision, it was a choice you made to put your family's happiness over your own feelings, to quote you 'I've known my mother longer than her'...think of your mother again, your families ... You have known Rukiaya for many years and as far as Jodha is concerned, you two have spent ... what about 5 hrs or less together in total interaction time, use your brain Jalal, that's what you are good at ... You signed a 2 year prenuptial, don't lose everything you worked hard for in life ?" Jalal gets up and leaves ...
Thankfully Jo did not have to see Jalal for another two weeks ...he was away on his honeymoon atleast that's what she thought ...but he returned a week later completely ignoring her ... seeing him bothered her she did not know why ... she would run into him briefly and every time she saw him her heart rate increased, her body heated up, she didn't want to experience these feelings, constantly she told herself she hated him and despised him but the feelings he evoked every time he walked in front of her office was antagonizing. She hated the fact that her body responded to his touch, hated him for the unwanted desires he had awakened that ran through her ... hated him for causing all the problems she was currently facing. Time seemed to fly more quickly when they ignored each other, it simply worked. The gossip in the office about his brief honeymoon and his involvement with other women surfaced and died down quickly. By the end of the week Jo was summoned into Abdul's office, she had seen Jalal in Abdul's office earlier and they spent a lot of time inside ... Abdul had been out of office the whole week ... Wondering if Jalal was playing tricks on her again Jo walks in deep in thought and was surprised to see Jalal sitting behind the mahogany desk she watched as his gaze lifted from the papers in front of him to find her ... his eyes widened momentarily as a crooked grin spread on his face, she desperately wanted to smack him and leave ... his gaze unnerving her making her blood boil, his lips twitched in amusement "well, well, Miss Jodha ... So you are working for Abdul ?" Jo was already ticked off, shooting daggers at him "you would know the answer to that" Reluctantly he got up and walked around the desk and ushered her to a chair "if you needed a job all you had to do was call, I know we aren't on the ...friendliest of terms but I can always use someone who is knowledgeable and feisty and I could reimburse you well, I could offer you much more, maybe we strike a much better deal than what Abdul has offered you" he smirks ... "Mr Mohammed, can you please keep a professional atmosphere here , if you want to act like a jerk I am leaving" she gets up to leave when Abdul walked "sorry to keep you guys waiting" he apologizes, stops and looks at Jalal and Jo, smirks, then begins introducing Jalal to Jo "looks like you have already met?" Jo shakes her head, "let me introduce ... " Jalal and I go way back ... We have had our shares of board room fights ... we have worked together from the time this company started ...we are friends first then colleagues, Jalal is kind of my boss although Mirza is the chief here, Jalal it too tied up with the business aspects and comes here only for board meetings" Jo listened impatiently wanting to get out as far away from Jalal as possible "Jalal wanted me ask you to organize an office party to celebrate his wedding in NY, Salima is an event planner as well she'll be able to help you..." when Mirza walks in "Abdul bhai, I ..." he stops stunned to see Jo sitting there, he rushes to her "Jo ... what a coincidence, fancy walking into you here" he walks toward her and Jo stands up extending her hand out to him, he shakes her hand and attempts to pull her into a hug when Jalal interrupts "Mirza, bhai, don't get up that close and personal, you are the boss and you need to learn to keep employees in their place, we don't want any sexual harassment lawsuits" walking over pulls him into a hug dragging him away from Jo ... while smirking at Jo "now you are a big boss in the company and you need to know your boundaries" Jo smirks watching Jalal's antics ... Abdul cut in again introducing Mirza to Jo "Jodha, I want you to meet the new CEO of the Mogul legal consultants ... Mr Mirza Khan he is Jalal's brother ...together they own the Mogul dynasty ..."
By the end of the day Jo had a splitting headache ... she was forced to head up organizing a party to celebrate his wedding ... he wanted done in two weeks ... it seemed like he was throwing this party just to irk her ... it was obvious Jalal was doing his best to break her, making her feel used and easy ... he was constantly in her face, her mind and her life was just beginning to get more complicated than it already was ...there was one thing she was certain about ... Jalal was a hard man to get over ... Back at home quickly jumped into the jaccuzzi for a long luxurious soak blocking him from her mind, trying to calm her nerves and relax every muscle in her body... Much as she tried she could not stop thinking about him...he was under her skin ...she gets into the shower tries to wash away his memory ...unsuccessful again ...frustrated she gets out of the shower and opens the cupboard to her body lotion... an unopened package of sanitary pads grabs her attention, she had bought them a month ago ... just before she was due to come on her period ...the package was unused ... she begins counting the days in her head over and over again ... her period was late by two weeks ... She slumps on the bathroom floor ...crying ... she had taken the morning after pill ... did he use a condom? ...could I be pregnant ... I had sex only once ...my periods are always regular ...thoughts were overcrowding her brain ... What if I am pregnant ... I'll be pregnant with a married man's child ... will he accept responsibility ... what my mother said could become true ... she was completely devastated ... she picks up her phone and call Moti frantically crying... "Jo calm down, how late are you?" she questioned, "two weeks atleast" her voice broke as she began crying dropping the phone ... 30 minutes later Moti walked into the bathroom to find Jo still sitting on the bathroom floor "its okay Jo, its too early, we will figure this out ... I bought a home pregnancy kit on my way in, get up" pulling her off the floor and hugging her tightly ... "I have the kit here, come lets read the instructions" Jo pulls the pregnancy stick out of the box and stares at it ... "this will define my life moti" she begins sobbing again ... "this will predict my future mote ..." after bouts of tears finally follows the instructions on the box ... leaves the stick on the counter and walks out of the bathroom crying "I hate my life ...why me why only me, I have one more year of college left ... I don't want to be pregnant in college ... I have no money for myself, how can I manage a baby, I am not capable of being a single mother, my mother said this would happen ... I don't know what to do?" she sobbed ...Moti wrapped her arms around her shoulder "hey what happened to my confident friend? It will be okay Jo, there is nothing we cannot handle, if you are pregnant is it very early and we can do something about it, moreover you took plan B, you should be covered, don't worry" she reassured her ..."times up ... Jo do you want to look" Moti asks patting her shoulder .. "no, I don't want to" Jo replies ... "Okay, I'll do it" Moti walks into the bathroom and comes back with the test stick in her hand "You're pregnant Jo" Jo passes out ...
The next day Jo claimed she was not feeling well suffering from a bad contagious flu and stays home... She did not want to run into Jalal ... Salima came by that evening to visit her ... "so tell me whats going on between Jalal and you ... why is he so pissed off at you, did you know him before you started your internship with us?" Jo looks away and shakes her head ... "he is stubborn and rubs me the wrong way always, I hate his guts" Jo's voice a bit shaky, Salima does not give up "yeah" she frowned "why" Jo thinks for a moment wondering if she should confide in her ... but recalls Jalal's threat, a feeling of doom surrounds her heart and decides against it ... "Jo you look terrible, you need to see a doctor" sounding alarmed Salima walks over and sits next to Jo ... "I am worried about you ... Abdul was worried too, he asked me to personally come and check on you ... he thought you might be playing hooky from office to avoid Jalal" Jo laughs "no I would not do that, I am stronger than that ... he does not bother me" they remained silent for a while ... "If you are sure, I'll leave you to rest" hugs her "I'm just a phone call away if you need anything" and leaves ... the next few days went by quickly Jo's office was moved next to Salima's office suite...it seemed a lot easier to work with Salima, they hired an event planner to organize the office reception for Jalal and Rukiaya. Jo took off a few hours from work she and Moti went to planned parenthood, confirmed Jo's pregnancy. Jo did not run into Jalal again, he was away on business, Salima told her about Jalal and Rukiaya's relationship "they both come from influential families, they are cousins and unbelievably rich, their families expected them to get married and Jalal's mother pushed him into it, Rukiaya's family was mostly involved with celebrities which Jalal did not like much ...he likes to be a recluse away from spotlight with his personal life" ... Jo decides spontaneously to have an abortion, makes an appointment before leaving the doctor's office, ... she did not want to be an unwed mother ... Tears running down her cheeks she explains to Moti who suggested she talk it over with Jalal ... "two more weeks it will all be over ...I cannot involve him, I don't want to be the other woman in his life, my life has been rollercoaster since I learned that I was pregnant, I am dying inside everyday Moti ... I don't want to become the failure my parents predicted for me"
Much as she avoided thinking of Jalal, he kept creeping into her thoughts ...almost everynight she lived with him in her dreams ...Jo had not run into Jalal after her last meeting in Abdul's office ... he just emailed her the guest list for the party and often bluntly demanding updates and at times criticizing her choices demanded immediate change of DJ and music, caterers, wine list everyday he made it a point to change something...annoying her no end ... Rukiaya sent her an email once thanking Jo for arranging the party on her behalf and making a few changes to menu and decorations ... One evening she ran into him in the elevator, she tried to get out but as the doors shut, he pulled her firmly turning her body pressing her back into his chest ... She breathed in and out to calm her frantically beating heart ... her mind told her to run, but her body insisted she stay ...without much hesitation he slid his arms around her waist, pressing against her back, making her aware of his arousal "I can't get you out of my mind ... I tried ... " slowly his hand began tugging at her shirt pulling it from underneath the hem of her pencil skirt, his hands stroked her abdomen first before slowly making its way upwards cupping the swell of her bosom..."Hmmm..." His gentle touches were suddenly replaced with fervency ...attempting to stop him she pulls herself away shaking her head "you shouldn't be doing this Jalal ..." his arms wrapped around her with tighter giving her no time to react, no time to push him away or stop him turning her around, breathing down on her face his lips just inches away from hers , quirking an eyebrow up whispers "I shouldn't do a lot of this Jodha ...I shoulda, coulda, woulda ...is not my motto ... I am here and I want you, I don't care if it's right or wrong" his entire posture changed into something that she felt was his possessiveness ... "the hell you are Jalal, you don't' get it do you?" stepping away from his arms "this has to end ..." as the doors to the elevator opened he walked away, stopped turned around and looked at her longingly ... watching him she realizes her decision to keep him away was depowering him and he couldn't handle it... he was never refused ever in his life ... She was the first one to do so and he hated her guts ... She runs to the bathroom and was shocked to see her reflection flushes her face with ice cold water...what shocked her more was that it wasn't the only mark she saw forming on her body, small bruises littered her shoulders, neck, and chest ... She went to tuck her blouse in when she saw several marks on her hips where he held her tight ... she shuddered at the memory of Jalal nipping at her flesh... she bruised very easily, that was not her concern ... What bothered more was the fact that she allowed him to do it, participated willingly, allowing her defenses down and embracing feeling for the one that marked her. " I need to look elsewhere for an internship and get as far away from Jalal as fast as possible" she muttered to herself, "my pregnancy hormones acting up wanting him ... I need to get rid of the pregnancy...two more days ..." Tears roll down her cheeks ... Salima walks in "are you ok Jo?" Jo shakes her head rolls her eyes turning away whispers "life is not being fair to me"
Book Talk
53