Originally posted by: Cleo12345
Ela and my other friends on this thread, just reposting my response to Sandhya's very valid concerns on MandyG's thread on Rukkaya...check it out...it is a good thread with some very nices posts...different POVs...good discussions...no, Mandy did not pay me for writing this...though I don't mind if she wants to😆 my bank account number is...😆
Jokes apart, continuation of my take on Ja-Jo- ruk situation...
Hi Sandhaya, thanks for your wonderful response to my post and making this into such an interesting and fun discussion. Your questions are the underlined ones( having problem with colors on my laptop)
For those of us who took biology in school are probably familiar with Darwin's theory of evolution by natural selection. It is one of the best substantiated theories in the history of science. Darwin argued that strong species survive in nature while the weak are wiped out. And who really are the strong ones... the ones who adapt and change according to the environment.
Herbert Spencer was the first one to use the survival of the fittest' term after reading Darwin's theory and applied it beyond biology...to economic and social context. Personally, I don't agree with everything Spencer suggested but his term survival of the fittest' does fit a politically active and cut throat competitive environment of the Harem of mighty Mughal emperor Akbar.
She wont Cleo...not till she destroys herself. Well this is the story is JA afterall.But she has always been like this. Why the sudden distance?
Why the sudden distance? Good question. ...As .I explained in my previous post how things added up that led to Jalal's disappointment with Rukkaya's behavior...It did not happen overnight. Ask Mahamanga...she noticed the subtle changes in Jalal's behavior from day 1. Though lenient towards people he loves, he does punish them harshly when he starts losing his patience.We have seen his behavior with HB, BB, Jodha, SD, AK, Ameris ...the list goes on. But Rukkiya hasn't seen the worst...yet. All of us, even the most loyal Rukkaya fans don't have anything to say in defense regarding her idol stunt. But he let her get away with a slap on the wrist. It was a despicable act...AND she actually broke a Mughal law. He did even not accuse her in front of anyone. Nor did he share this info with Jodha, Salima or HB. But, the anger and disappointment that he felt will not go away overnight. Hence the sudden distance. He probably knows that he will blow up as she continues with her antics. In real life, a lot of us do that...when we are really irritated with a person and their behavior remains unchanged despite warnings, we try to avoid them till, either we calm down or they redeem themselves. But it is the responsibility of the the person who made the mistake to diffuse the situation. Jalal was clearly hurt and embarrassed by her behavior...he didn't expect her to stoop that low. We did not see any apology from Rukkiya for her behavior. Then she has the audacity to try and fool him by saying that she chose to lose the election because she was being large hearted' and she listens to him'. ...I wish she hadn't done that and just told him the truth...to be able to spend more time with him ( she could have omitted the keeping Jo busy part)...I think he would have taken it well...hats off to him for still not blowing up... I would have...But, he is a ticking time bomb...if she doesn't change asap, Rukkiya fans, hold your breath and be ready for another hum baat kar rahe hain' scene...or worse.
Rukkiya along with MA almost cornered Jalal and got him married/ nearly married to Ben.
Jalal himself knows that she was unaware of Ben's identity. If ben was not a vk and jo had indeed falsely accused ben, what was wrong in her egging him to marry? She was as angry with Jo for dhakka-fying Jalal as he was. Her jealousy was an added factor.
I agree...Jalal was wrong...but that doesn't make Rukkaya's act right. I am not justifying him, but he is an alpha male whose ego was badly bruised by the woman he loves...he sought revenge...and paid a heavy price. Got bashed by all forum friends as well. I don't buy that she did it because Jo rejected Jalal. Remember, how upset she was when she found out that Jalal probably slept with Jodha when she was unconscious. So she is upset when they slept together...and upset when they didn't sleep together...beats me. This can be micro dissected but still won't make a whole lot of sense. She forced her husband to marry someone just so that she is one up against Jodha...period.
The Hojra issue...that was stooping very low
She has always been so in the harem. She has been so and he knows it but has never cared so far. He happens to be hurt this time as it was his precious Jo who was hurt
Jab ankh khule tab savera'... I read your beautifully written post on Akbar's achievements...he did not do it all on the day he was crowned king...as he became aware of the problems he made changes. He was a secular king and understood what it would mean if Kanha's murti was moved from the original place of sthapana'...he also understood why the diya shouldn't be extinguished as well. What is wrong with respecting the sentiments of people from other religions? He wasn't nice to Jodha that day. I think he did what he did because of his secular outlook...And even if he did it for Jodha, I don't see anything wrong with that. She is his wife and he does love her. And, his reaction has nothing to do with Rukkaya's act of stooping to the point of religious intolerance just to humiliate Jodha. He corrected Rukkaya's mistake. Why should he be blamed for that.
Her outbursts and mishandling Jodha after boat track.
Any woman would be angry after such a debacle/misunderstanding. It was not the first time queens sent messages through baandhies. Jo too sent the letter only through Moti...didn't come personally to deliver it. He had always called Ruqs Khaas till then. She was unaware of the Rahim/ Jalal/ Jo convo that morning.
I understand her anger. I actually sympathized with her...but manhandling... not acceptable in a rugby match. Even WWF has rules...Why should it be acceptable here?
Her behavior during the Salim Chisti track...btw men run away from clingy women
She has always had him to the exclusion of others. How does she know that she shouldn't now.
All these years he had enjoyed the cling
This is where the theory of evolution and survival of the fittest' applies very well. Those who don't change perish. Jalal and Jodha were also stubborn to begin with. Both suffered and learnt their lessons...both have embarked on their journey of love and happiness.
Rukkuya is an adult who is also blessed with a brain, eyes and ears...and a good spy network.. It is her responsibility to use that. If she doesn't, she'll learn the hard way.
Just quoting a 21st century study that proves that personality traits change as people age.Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, How personality traits known by psychologists as the "Big Five": conscientiousness, agreeableness, neuroticism, openness, and extroversion change as we grow older. No need to bore you with details...the researchers found that certain personality traits change gradually but consistently throughout life -- and on average, people are getting better as get older.
Jalal is clearly changing...for the better...and should be given the credit for that...If Rukkaya is not willing to see that change and transform accordingly, then it is unfair to blame Jalal or anyone else for that. If she can learn Maham's tricks, she can certainly learn that now Jalal craves more than a cling.
Reports from begums/ baandi's about her behavior...he himself is very civil towards his staff most of the time.
Didn't anyone complain all these years? Even HB?
There is always a first time...this is how revolutions begin...people can have different reasons for not complaining...fear, ignorance, lack of insight etc. People didn't complain about Saddam Hussain or Gaddaffi when they were in power. Sometimes a trigger is needed...in Harem's case, they saw a potential leader in Jodha who fair and strong and may be able do a better job. They grabbed the opportunity. If at all this small attempt at democracy should be appreciated, not criticized.
Her begum e khaas chanting...clearly it is getting on his nerves.
He was the one who fanned the fire
Sensible words by legendary Hollywood actress Katherine Hepburn
We are taught that you must blame your father, your sisters, your brothers, the school, the teachers - but never blame yourself. It's never your fault. But it's always your fault, because if you wanted to change you're the one who has got to change.
Ok, he fanned it...now he thinks that she has an OCD when it comes to her audha and wants her to check that. ...It is actually for her own good. Thank god, he hasn't taken it back...like Adham's Subedaari.
Not sure if he knows abt how she behaved with Salima
Her devious behavior during the election process.
I still don't find anything devious here. I'll explain why I choose to call it devious So what if she wishes to know where she stands or what others think about her. It is natural, wanting to know how people perceive you, a sort of open opinion poll, to understand who is on her side Fine...acceptable...playing politics is not a crime. Using Chanakya neeti of Sam, dam, dand, bhed is sometimes needed. So she chose to let people vote even when she had made up her mind to resign from the position. BUT her attempt to hide the real reason and make it look like an act of baddappan' is what makes it wrong in my eyes. The dictionary meaning of devious fits when you look at the act from the beginning till the end...not in pieces. Had she won even without her vote being the decider, things were different. More people wanted her at the helm. But when she knew that an equal number wanted her out, she decided to spend her time to win Jalal back than put up with the harem.
Also, her truth about her role in idol issue was not out...she was not even accused publically like Jodha. Yes, she was a suspect but so was Jodha...jalal's statement that Jodha is not capable of doing it may not have been good enough for some begums...After all, it was a religious issue. So, without the evidence against Rukkuya's role in idol issue out, some unsure voters probably still doubted Jodha's intentions and voted against her...I won't call it a 50/50 battle. In fact here, Jalal favored Rukkuya over Jodha.
And of course, the idol issue...She broke a law and he has evidence as well as her confession...he has punished people for lesser crimes.
This was behaviour. But I am sure will be the first of its kind. Many will follow.
But why doesn't Jalal try to frankly explain to his friend of 15 yrs once atleast? Explain what ? and why? Is he committing a crime by falling in love with another wife who cares enough that she almost died for him... It is an openly polygamic relationship. Nothing that she hasn't seen before...she was eager to get him married to Ben for God sake... She is a big girl...if not, she needs grow up. Moreover, Jalal is not her parent or teacher. He still treats her with kids gloves. He cant and shouldn't spoon feed her forever. Give him a break. She needs to start learning things on her own. ate Not that she won't listen to him. She did in the Tasneem track...even accepted to co-operate with whver he decides the next day when he explained his stance, even the talaq. She was cornered during that track...she didn't have a choice but to listen to him. I actually felt very bad for her then.
He does take time out to express his pov to jo on different issues. He just told her his POV...he didn't like her lying and plotting. He wants her to play fair. He is no fool...he knows what Hoshiyaar is doing with Jodha. He could see through her reason for giving up the election...and still stubbornly lie about the real reason. She was asking for credit and be acknowledged as the large hearted one'...Sometimes Honesty is the best policy. Trying to act too smart puts off people. I think this is what is pissing off Jalal most right now...he may be Teda but we have seen that he is respects honesty...Remember his bathtub dialogue...Hindustan ka Shehensha jooth nahi bolta. (Of course, there are harmless lies and serious lies and people know the difference).
Had he tried and Ruq still continued her bad behaviour then she will have no sympathies whatsoever. But now after encouraged her arrogance all these years and getting miffed about it after he has found a Jodha who is better and whom Chishti Baba has predicted would be the future MUZ, shows his friendship in bad light.
This is a fact of life...best to accept it...as.people grow older...their outlook changes ...they want to interact with likeminded people...if childhood friends can't keep up or show negative traits, they are left behind...Jalal is not a Messiah...he has the right to change and make choices.
Remember...Change is the only constant in the universe...and only the fittest survive.
Best case scenario ( I do have a soft corner for her somewhere)... She sits back...no hukka...no hoshiyaar...definitely no MA...study the situation...make a list of things that Jalal likes about Jodha...make a list of her own strengths...third list of things Jalal absolutely dislikes... re-evaluate...make a plan...make a plan B...then fight for Jalal...a fair one...Logic never fails...not even in romance.
Edited by Cleo12345 - 10 March 2014 at 10:29am
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