Friends, for those of us who found Monday's episode a bit too ambivalent between Jalal's various "competing concerns" caused by the Ben unmasking fracas, the episode on Tuesday was like grief pouring out of our own hearts ... in complete sync with our dear Jalal! I sobbed like a kid when I saw his heart-rending choked-voice prayers at the mazhar, and although my Urdu is pathetic and I could barely hear half of his words as he spoke them through a broken voice, yet I heard the sorrow and sentiments behind the words he said freely to God, and I felt all the tumultuous feelings he felt, and I wept shamelessly with him.
I thought the stupendous acting skills of Rajat came to the fore yesterday - and the sheer beauty of it all was that it was neither too much nor too less. It was just a spectacularly controlled and perfect performance. Sometimes when the emotions run so high and we identify with the feelings of the character completely, it is so difficult to be dispassionate about how their acting skills were in that moving moment. I had to watch the episode at least 6 times to get his words at the mazhar, so that gave me enough distance after the first four or five repeats of watching, to start seeing the scenes a little analytically.
I thought every bow of the head, every twist of the lips in self-derision, every teardrop form the eyes and every withheld sob in the throat were utterly perfect. I have seriously never seen such great "nuancing" of every sentimental sentence done so well, that I don't know how to describe the whole acting prowess of Rajat except to keep saying "perfect", "perfect, "perfect" ... and the words don't seem to do enough justice!
Jodha had very little acting to do yesterday, except to lie slumped in bed like a sad shadow of her fiesty former self, her face ashen and her lips blue from the posion seeping through her blood stream. But her defeated demeanour said a lot. Poor girl, she had done something so big for "her Jalal", that she looked like she deserved her rest, even if it was though a poisoned stupor.
She looked like a little girl, who had fought a valiant fight and lost. She had fought against her own rising feelings for Jalal (calling it by every name such as "vachan" and "kartavya" - but not love!) She had found no other way to prove her story about Ben being a vishkanya than to offer her own body for poisoning as the supreme sacrifice to save the man she was beginning to care for so deeply. She had suffered weeks of torment at the hands of almost ever disbelieving person in Agra, especially from the one supposed to be nearest and dearest. She had done her bit, and now she seemed at last in some nether world of druggedness, but also in relief from further taunting and tensions.
It was sad to see her lie lifeless like that, especially a Jodha who always so fiercely fought for causes she believed in, for righteousness and through deep loyalty for the ones she cared for. But it also looked like she needed rest from the harshness of the Agra world she was pushed into, and this was Nature's strange way of removing her consciousness to give her freedom from the mental pain and suffering that she had been through. She was fighting for her life bodily ... but her mind seemed blissfully away from the hurts and hurdles of the fight for her life!
I have no doubt that Jalal, already deeply guilt-ridden for not having heeded her words and seen through Ben, must also have been feeling extra-horrible that she had to sacrifice her own life just to show him that she meant well for his life! What must be the feelings of a man who does not stop to heed his wife's worries for his life - till she has to risk her own life to show him she was telling the truth? Which decent husband would allow his wife to be reduced to such a condition just to prove her loyalty to him? And will he not have to ask himself if it was mere loyalty or a sense of duty that makes a woman swallow poison to save her man and show him that she was truthful?
Folks, I was all night thinking of all the thoughts that must be racing through Jalal's mind as Jodha lay blissfully unaware of the churning inside him. To what deep recesses of depression had he pushed her to have to go for the "last resort" like this just to prove her innocence. Did he deserve her at all? Did she not deserve better than him? Most of all, how does a man in his position redeem himself in her eyes - if she lived to see his redemoption at all?
Would she live? Could he will her to live? What must he do now to see that she lives so that he can see her free of the scars of this episode? What would he do if she died and never gave him the chance to say sorry? How would he ever be able to lift his eyes to the world again if she went away without another word of protest, silently in her sleep, accusing him with her closed eyes and poison-withered countenance of pain and dejection?
I so wanted Jodha to wake up if only to see for herself how moved and how battered he already was, and how broken he was without her. But the episode saw no breakthough in her condition.
Jalal must have been devastated to see the life draining from Jodha - and the feeling of helplessness that comes when someone you care for deeply is sinking before your very eyes is unbelievably soul-shattering! He had always been so used to her being full of life - his banter with her, their mutual tauntings, their provoking of one another, the fierceness of their verbal battles ...every detail of every interaction with her must have reinforced how brimming with life she was ... and now she was going away from him without a word of protest against his disbelief of her!
In the first half of the episode we had the people around her getting some hopes for her survival because they had found the antidote for the snake poison by shaking up the shivering Zakira. But when, even after administering the antidote, Jodha showed no signs of recovery, and in fact seemed to go from bad to worse, she coughed up blood that trickled down her mouth and chin alarmingly. That was enough to drive a distraught Jalal to the brink of despair. We saw him suddenly leave Jodha's bedside, unable to watch further - and then he walked in silent despair to the mazhar, head hung low, eyes aglaze with feeling and with a very distinct sense of personal loss and self-guilt. He went to pray - because that was all that he seemed to have left!
At the mazhar, he prayed first in silence and then in words that choked and splutttered from his mouth. It was beautiful - that moment - when his defenses broke down completely, as it were, and he said "The Shahenshah of Hindustan hands over to the Shahehshah of the Universe and asks and begs and pleads with humility for the life of Jodha Begum" And then he added that one sentence that should have warmed the cockles of the hearts of all his well-wishers! He said "How can I hide from you the feelings I hide from the world? Please God save her, for I cannot live without her, I cannot live without her!"
What more did we want to hear, folks? He said it all! More than this we cannot expect a "declaration of love" - because even a straightforward unambiguous declaration of love cannot match the uncensored sincere and heartfelt outpouring of a soul that is directly talking through the language of tears, turmoil, and tension. Maybe he could hide his love from Jodha, or from himself - but how could he hide it from God?
I so loved the dialogues that Jalal spoke yesterday at the mazhar that in my detailed analysis section below I have given almost all of his dialogue, just for those who want to hear it again and again. But before I get to that detailed analysis part, I just wanted to mention a few things that made me feel great to watch:
1. The use of the right and pertinent flashbacks added to the enrichment of the moments of pain - they were very very well chosen flashbacks and used very delicately to just add to the scenes without overwhelming them. For instance when Jalal was walking towards the mazhar there were fllashbacks of Jodha telling him that her hate for him had gone because he trusted her so much. There were then two more handholding scenes between them, once of her holding his shaking hand and then of him holding her hand - both reinforcing the trust factor (which Jalal now realises he has betrayed). Later in the mazhar he remembers with fondness the way she learned to pray in Mughal style, and how she tied the dhaga with him at Ajmer. Those were all memories of closeness between them that he realises he has now shattered by his disbelief in her! Beautifully done!
2. The role of Ruqaiya swings again in the direction of Jodha and Jalal - as Ruq realises Jodha's deeds helped save Jalal. Ruq and Jalal embrace with deep feelings as Ruq returns from the ride with Ben and then tells all that happened at the well to Jalal. He is thankful to her and Atga, but soon they think again of Jodha and run to her side. Ruq is aghast at the sight of the "blue" Jodha. But even so Ruq seemed less worried for Jodha herself and sees her more as the saviour of "her own Jalal" whom she valued as a friend and husband. Time and again Ruq says to the Hakim "You must save Jodha because she saved Jalal!" Ruq's seesaw behaviour continues, and I guess will always be so till the end of the serial. Jalal too, I think, clearly loves Ruq in a "bonded"sort of way, and he may never lose that ever - even if he loves Jodha more passionately and fervently from his soul-level than he loves Ruq.
3. It was Jalal himself who got the brainwave to pump Zakira for the antidote to the deadly poison. It gave me no end of satisfaction that he had taken the initiative to rattle Zakira to give details of the zehermohra. He remembered that Zakira had passed the milk test, held a sword to her in jail and dragged her to the bedside of Jodha, made her cough up the antidote formula with the motis, made her drink the antidote as a test before giving it to Jodha ... and then cast her back in jail as he went back to caring for Jodha. I loved the fact that he kept his faculties and did not just succumb to despair and throw up his hands and says "Hakim, do all!" He was very much into the saving act to the extent that was in his hands to do!
4. Bakshi Bano found a way to make her peace with her distraught brother in his greatest distress. She ran into the room and said "Punish me for showing my face before you but I could not hold myself back, as I too want to pray for Jodha". Jalal replied "I cannot see anyone here in this room except Jodha. She is all I see. Pray if you want. If your prayers work, I will forgive you for life and be beholden to you!" We all know how against Bakshi Jalal once was ... and even that he knew of the secret meetings between Jodha and Sharif. But all that receded from his mind at this time - or perhaps he let it all not matter any more. He found the magnanimity to let his sister help him in his distress, which was very sweet!
Okay now for the details of the grandest and longest scene of grief and tumult that I've seen so beautifully done in a long time:
Jalal is at Jodha's bedside as she is lying there oblivious to the world, deeply unconscious, her face all blue with the poison in her blood. Jalal caresses her head and then turns to say to the Hakim "She seems to be running a high fever, her body is as hot as mine was when the tiger bite infected my blood". The Hakim says "Yes indeed, its almost the same, but this time it's a very deadly poison from a very deadly snake that has entered her bloodstream. Its very "mushkil" to get out!"
Jalal barks at the Hakim "Its "mushkil" but not "namumkin", surely? Do something! You have to save her."
Just then Jodha coughs violently and blood begins streaming from her mouth. Jalal is aghast. He says "This blood ...? Oh, for God's sake why are you not making her OK? If you're doing everything why is she not getting well?" And then the look of utter failure on the Hakim's face begins to sink into him. Till then it seemed he believed something could still be done, but when he sees the Hakim at sixes and sevens, I think he starts to get the message that Jodha is indeed sinking. His mouth gapes open as it all hit him.
He barks again "I don't want trials any more, I want results. I cannot watch Jodha Begum die like in front of my eyes!" Saying so, he suddenly turns and leaves to go out of the room. Hamida is then seen telling Atga to go with Jalal and not leave him alone at a time like this when he has lost his senses with grief. Atga and his men follow Jalal as he walks slowly through the courtyard, having memories of Jodha telling him she no longer hates him for he trusts her. He remembers them holding hands and being there for each other. He looks rueful and shakes his head disbelievingly now and again.
Meanwhile Ruq asks the Hakim to save Jodha as she saved Jalal's life! She says "I can't let her die, get the medicine you need, use every known method. But save her somehow ... now!"
As Jalal reaches the mazhar a slight look of peace dawns on his face as he is given the cloth for his pagri. He walks slowly into the mazhar, and smiles to himself as he remembers his visit to theAjmer dargah when Jodha imitated him learning how to pray Mughal style.
Then slowly, the Amer music that has been playing very evocatively in the background so far changes to a fervent "Allaho Allaho" tune, signalling the driving harder beats of his own heart. He bows and kisses the mazhar and then begins to pray in mute. At this time, in a beautifully directed scene, outside the mazhar, Atga prays loudly as if echoing Jalal's thoughts to us. He says " Please God, end this dark night, this wait, give Jodha Begum rest, and give my Shahenshah peace."
Meanwhile at Jodha's bedside, the Hakim tells Hamida that the "namumkin stage" has set in and now Jodha needs to be taken to "shahi shifakhana" as nothing more can be done here and her treatment has to continue there. Hamida is concerned about shifting Jodha there in this condition but Ruq seems to emphasize that whatever needs to be done must be done. At any cost, Jodha's life has to be saved.
Just as events escalate at Jodha's bedside, it seems as if it is also the moment when Jalal totally breaks down at the mazhar. In some extremely moving lines of dialogue, and with a halting and utterly heart-broken voice he says to God "Oh God, how many times I never gave her support in her efforts. I never understood what what this world means, what her importance was in my life.Oh God you gave me this throne, this crown and every gift ... you always were with me. Please now do not let her die for she is the one without whom I cannot live ... without her I cannot live, my Malik! I hid my feelings from the world ...but what can I hide from you ... in front of you I bow my head deeply ... I beg you ... the Shahenshah of Hindustan begs the Shahenshah of the Universe ... it's my fervent prayer ...I beg you to "baksh" Jodha Begum's life ...the mistake was mine, so please punish me ... because I never listened to her ... but please spare her life ... Oh, God, you are the merciful and the strong ... show me your strength here .. I will not be able to live without her ..."
He then bows and kisses the "pak koran" ... and then ties the dhaga at the mazhar trellis, remembering thelast time he and Jodha had tied the dhaga together at the Ajmer dargah ... and after that he walks to the doorway of the mazhar looking utterly alone and lost.
In the precap, the Hakim is further seen saying "Now all is lost. She is beyond saving". Jalal goes to Jodha's Kanha mandir in her room, lights and shows the aarti to Kanha, and then folds his hands as a Hindu would in prayer (as Hamida watches). He says very simply. "I accept her every sorrow, but God please save her!"
Oh my God, Rajat, how did you, in just the twenty two years of your life, get so much depth in your persona to be able to pull off scenes like this? Even older and wiser people who have been through greater sorrows and life experiences often cannot express their grief so well. You are clearly a chosen one!
Ye Hai Mohabbatein
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