Just as we humans know that we must die one day, yet continue to live as if we were immortal; so I knew that JJKN was to end one day, but loved and lived with it as if it were to last forever.
Whenever I tried to imagine life without JJKN, such a feeling of impossibility came over me, that I abandoned the idea immediately. When I actually read the news, my reaction was of…..sheer panic. I felt like something was being torn out of my life and I was helpless to stop it.
May is a month of goodbyes for me😭. Last year in May, I bid adieu to my hostel, where I spent the 2 happiest years of my life. Among the things that I knew I would miss the most about hostel life, was sitting down with a whole pack of my hostelmates in the CR (common room) and watching JJKN. I knew I would miss the fights over which channel to watch(where I was always out with sword unsheathed in case anyone dared to put on anything other than SONY between 9:30-10pm); the rushing through dinner to make sure I got a good seat by 9:25; the discussions with my friends…….What helped me tide over those days of parting was the thought that at least ONE thing would link my old life with my new one—JJKN. After coming home, I've watched JJKN for one year; and now, when it is ending, I feel that the last thread with my student days is being severed.
Silly, isn't it, to get so emotional about a stupid serial?? I know everyone outside IF will only laugh at my predicament and tell me to get a life. But that IS the point—JJKN gave me a life. Or, I should say, it gave me a mental makeover, an attitude change that helped me to face life in quite different terms than earlier.
Let me explain. I identified strongly with the nerdy Jassi. When I started watching JJKN, I was this plain, "studious" ( I hate being called that but I do give that impression), bespectacled girl from a small town who had come to the University to pursue her "armaans". I did face some hostility from classmates who thought that this girl probably had no life beyond her books. Of course, I did also make a fabulous set of friends who stood by me and gave me different perspectives about things. Still, I could never call myself "bold", and it was difficult for me to say "No"—just like Jassi.
In fact, those predicaments that J landed herself in, those dilemmas, the disappointments—I felt them as keenly as if they were my own. Sometimes I felt as if Jassi was living MY life on screen. When she triumphed, I reveled in her success. When she cried, my heart broke. When Armaan sir played with her feelings, I felt as much indignation as if someone had jilted ME.
I have done some crazy things for JJKN. Like the time there was no electricity in my hostel; and I desperately wanted to watch it. I went to my friend's hostel only to watch JJKN.
Or the day we were scheduled to witness the first phase of Jassi's makeover—her haircut. This was what everyone had been waiting for and there was no WAY I was gonna miss it. But that evening, my friend's mom dropped in and insisted on taking us both out. I knew we wouldn't be back in time for JJKN, so I tried my best to wriggle out of it, even though it somewhat hurt the poor lady. Luckily, I was fasting that day, so I had the excuse that I wouldn't be able to eat anything anyway, so it was no use going. So I finally got to stay behind.
I always knew JJKN was popular, but HOW MUCH, I witnessed only that night. Usually, the CR would fill up gradually by 9:30; since I wanted a seat in the front, I habitually walked in at 9:25. That night, I arrived at 9:21, and found to my consternation that every front seat was occupied. I had no choice but to sit on the table that was next to the TV set. By 9:35, there were at least 4 other girls sitting on that table; had we moved a whit, all of us would have come tumbling down. Those who could not get seats sat in their friends' laps, on armrests, or on the floor; the rest just stood. Ours was a pretty spacious CR, but by 9:40, there wasn't even place to stand. The only other time I had seen the place so full was during an Indo-Pak march in the World Cup—and even that wasn't as much as this. I was actually proud to be part of the phenomenon called Jassi.
But this one took the cake—we were having our final exams; the next day we had the most difficult test of the course. I had determined to get my revision over by 9 pm so that I could finish my dinner and be in the CR in time. But at 9, my friends' sis and jeeju dropped in; they stayed till 9:25. I was in agony because I would have to miss my dinner. But my friends stared at me as if I had lost it (as they always did when I showed how Jassi-mad I was ) and insisted that I have my meals. I argued that this way, I would miss JJKN. So they shot back—"But you can see the repeat tomorrow, after your exam!"
My rejoinder was, "If I don't see JJKN now, I won't be able to give my exam properly tomorrow." 😆And I meant it!! JJKN was the tonic that rejuvenated me after a day's trials and triumphs. So eventually, I ended up swallowing my dinner in exactly 7 minutes—dessert and all—and entering the CR by 9:32. Miss JJKN? Never!
Of course, this has made me the butt of jokes. My hostelmates had nicknamed me "Jassi"—the pre-makeover one. I always pretended to be annoyed at that, but secretly I was delighted because it seemed the ultimate compliment to be Jassi Jaisi!!😛
So did JJKN really gave me a makeover? Yes—physically as well as mentally. There was a time when I went through a bad phase—my self-esteem was at its lowest ebb. It was one of my friends who told me to place a higher value on myself and to show people what I was capable of. She told me, "You watch Jassi's life on JJKN and smile; when will someone smile watching your life?" It shook me up. Coincidentally, that was the time Jassi had left Gulmohur to get over her heartache about Armaan sir. I drew inspiration from her struggle to shake off her ghosts and begin life afresh. As Jassi slowly acquired a bolder, no-nonsense attitude, so did I.
We were scheduled for our Farewell, and my friend decided that it was time for me to give everyone a surprise. She suggested that instead of the sari that was conventionally worn, I should try a completely new look. When she described it, I was bowled over. But there was still this niggling doubt—would I be able to pull it off? Then I saw Jassi gathering courage for her makeover and decided—what Jassi can do, I can too—or rather should!
Like Nandini in JJKN, this friend was like the fairy godmother who transformed me. The long and short of it is, that my farewell was an evening to remember. The plain disbelief on many faces is something I recall with glee. My juniors later congratulated me on my "Jassi makeover"—the ultimate compliment!! More than the fact that I looked like that, was the reassurance that I had tried something new—and succeeded.
Now that JJKN is ending, I feel exactly the same way I did one year ago, when I clung tearfully to my buddies and bid goodbye forever to the golden days. JJKN will leave behind a huge void in my life. It is not just watching it for half an hour, four days a week. There is so much more. My life had started revolving around this show. Either I was on IF, or watching all the dumb scum on Sony like KYPH or ELAS🤢 just to catch a JANDA promo during breaks; and every other spare moment that I had was spent in daydreaming about JandA (MandA too!) . Honestly, JandA/MandA have spoilt me—they have set my standards of romance so high that nothing else I witness will ever match up. In the last few months, I had even started seeing MandA in all romantic songs and scenes in the movies and feeling that the actual actors fell far, far short.😳
And now I shall have to say goodbye to all this….and start my life from a new chapter. 😭
Can't say anything more now—words fail me. Just a request—can you all please, please share what JJKN has meant to you?? I would love to know about your "safar" with this phenomenal serial. Will miss all this like anything!!💔
Bade Achche Lagte Hain Naya Season
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