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After realising that Jassi was moving on with her life, with her husband Raghav,blissfully happy, i had lost all interest in loving anything at all.Even the success of the fashion show failed to induce any sort of pleasure,instead left me as lost as ever..I had lost sense of my own identity and temperament and the prolonged presence of obstacles and distress left me a bitter man...With these painful thoughts clouding my mind,i aimlessly trudged along the street and closed my eyes with defiance to get rid of the burning tears....The hum of the wind,the hustling of the crowd,the screeching noise of the passing vehicles,the occassional sound of crows flying high up in the sky, everything,familiar as they were sounded sinister and strange..It was twilight and the chillness in the autumn air was slowly permeating into my weary thoughts and out of sheer habit i pulled my coat closer around me..With quiet desperation i tried forcing the lonely thoughts out of my mind but all to no avail.I was in such a delicate state of my mind that the the most insignificant,trivial thing as the passing of a stray puppy scattered my attention and left me groping blindly..And i was again brought back to reality..Looking heavenward,i found the clouds darkening and crazily chasing each other and felt the air turning heavy with moisture..It was starting to rain and the world hurriedly turned alive,people were rushing home and driving faster disregarding traffic rules,birds were flying homeward, restlessly...Home-the word that usually meant warmth and comfort, sounded unfamiliar and discomforting..The thought of becoming a father for the first time in my life, somehow did not alleviate the burden weighing heavily on my shoulders-the pain of losing my love,my life,Jassi..Everybody at home were eagerly awaiting the arrival of my child,and i was happy for them..Nowadays,i have stopped living for myself that i have completely forgotten the bliss of quiet happiness and glad content....With these lonely thoughts playing havoc in my brain, i realised that almost an hour had passed and it was slowly darkening..shops were being closed, noise was heard rarely,the presence of pedestrians was slowly diminishing, and i turned homeward..I reached the house,slowly opened the door as i was accustomed to,and noiselessly locked the door behind me..I reached my bedroom and found everything as i had left,clothes strewn on my bed in a haphazard manner,books lying open on the table....Arranging everything, i slumped into the rocking chair in the corner of the room and stared at the ceiling above me,listlessly.....Hours passed by slowly and i found my eyes drooping...Getting up,i moved towards the bed and lying down i allowed myself to doze into a long dreamless sleep,the exhaustion of the painful loneliness and emptiness finally overwhelming me......
[...Armaan's thoughts - just an imagination.....]
[...Armaan's thoughts - just an imagination.....]
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