"I Am Madhav's Dad..Yes I Am. He Is My Son Too. Just Because He Is Not My Blood Doesnt Mean My Bond With Him Is Weak Enough To Fade Away If Somebody Tells Me That I Am Not His Father! He Is Ny First Child..Even Though We Dont Share That Same Blood But He Is The First Child To Refer Me As His "Papa" And The Happiness I Feel Is Beyond One's Comprehension. Even If He Calls Me Chote Papa It Doesnt Mean My Love For Him Has Reduced..No..Infact It Has Now Gotten More Strong. And Yes.Now I Am Not Letting Anyone To Take Away Our Bond. Not Even Vividha.." thought Ravish who was sitting alone in his garden where the drama had taken place few hours back. "I never imagined that Vividha will slap me not once but twice..Yes its true that kangana stopped her second time but it doesnt change the fact that she was going to slap me twice! Yes it hurted me alot.. Why should it not? Not only Vividha but my whole family has hurted me this time! She used to call me her true friend.. This is how a true friend treats the other? No one dared to tell her that what she did to me was wrong.. Its not like i expect from them but now when i am sitting alone all that happened ..who said what.. who didnt said.. Everything is popping up in my mind like a movie.. And everything looked soo bitter and it pinched my heart brutally " Before I could think more I was shaken away from my thoughts as kangana's hand was on my shoulder and she was standing infront of me..I looked at her..she was looking sadly into my eyes. Her eyes assured me that she knows I am hurt and she is with me..And I smiled back at her sadly to which she silently took her seat beside me and handed me my favourite.. Ginger Tea.. I thanked her by nodding and she smiled back at Me.. Her smile was her response to my "Thank You"..
My head was spinning with today's scene and I needed a break from tensions and situations.. and guess what Ginger Tea would definetly help me.. I sighed and took first sip of tea. Something strong..hot..went through my throat and I for once felt that My Throat..Stomach..Every part of my body is gonna burn.. but then I felt relaxed "Yes I know its a wierd feeling or thought as I drink tea everyday bur today It felt different..
Oh yes because of because of the drama taht happened.." Suddenly I saw Madhav running towards in our direction with his favourite Ben10 Football and a smile crept on my face..Madhav looked soo innocent and cute.. My heart is always at peace whenever I look into Madhav's innocence and his smile no matter in ehat situation I am.. Madhav..His name is enough to wake my fatherly feelings. I want him to have all the happiness..Thats what all fathers wish..Isnt it.. But he is very naughty..And yess he asks loads of questions.. but I love answering his all questions no matter how stupid they are..And he enjoys listening to me.. and I enjoy listening to his childish talks.. Madhav is nowhere like Me when I was a child.. I was always calm..nerdy types.. I couldnt enjoy my childhood.. But I wont let Madhav feel the way i felt when I was a child.. He will have all the love.. care..and attention that he needs ! I will never let anything bad happen to him.. Never!
And I kept my tea on the table beside me and was getting up to go to him and olay with him..But then Madhav looked at my direction...His smile vanished.. he stopped in his track...and then next moment he ran back inside the house.. For a moment I went numb.. What did just happened..Why he ran away like that..Did he got scared.. Is something on my face and My chain of thoughts broke when I heard Kangana stuttering.. "Ra..Ravish..Madhav..." And I looked at her.. Her face reflected the emotions I felt...and a tear rolled down her cheeks.."I need to talk to Madhav" I thought..Yes I need to..Looking at Kangana I said "Kangana..Idhar Dekhiye..Kangana..Pareshan mat hoiye aap..Mein baat karta hoon Madhav se..." and She nodded her head and tears never stopping from flowing..But somehow she managed to stop crying..I nodded her in yes and started walking but stopped in the middle of my walk and turned back to look at her.. Raising my voice little I asked her "Waha kyu khadi hai aap.. Chaliye andar Madhav ke paas..Aaiye" and she almost came running to match my long and fast strides to where Madhav was...
As usual he was in his room.. and playing a video game which I had gifted him months back..As I stood beside the door of his room..I couldnt help but adore my son.. Whenever I look at him I cant help but look lovingly at him..I can keep looking at him smiling for hours.. but right now I need to talk to him.. Whatever is happening must be affecting him in a wrong way.. I cannot lt that happen.. I walked towards him with kangana beside me... As I sat beside him..Madhav looked at Me wierdly.."What that expression is " I thought.. But Then he smiled slowly amd hugged me tightly Like he always do whenever he feels sad or upset.. And my heart which was almost dead started beating and I hugged him back tightly.. Tears rolled down my cheeks.. I kept my right hand on his head and other hand holding him tightly.. For a moment when he was looking wierdly I thought i had lost him... But not now...
Madhav spoke softly... in his painful voice.. "I am sorry..Chote papa..." And started crying.. I cannot watch or hear him cry.. It hurts.. I closed my eyes and Immediately told him "Sssh.. Madhav..Beta Aap Rona Bandh Karo Pehle..." My shoulder was wet with his tears.. But not anymore... Maybe he stopped crying...Then I asked him "Beta.. Sorry kyu bol rae ho aap..?" It broke my heart to see or hear him in such condition.. He cleared his throat and replied "Meine aapko aur kangana aunty ko avoid kiya na jaanbujh ke..Aaplog ko bura laga na.. Islye" And I again smiled at his childlike innocence... Finally I broke our long hug..and looked at him. His eyes were still watery.. His face reflected how sorry he was.. "Aah my boy! I knew he cannot stay away from me for long.." I thought..I felt happiness knowing that for him even now our bond has that importance..Not even a pinch it has reduced..."Him calling me his Chote Papa doesnt change the fact that even before Vividha it was me who took Madhav into my arms when he was born..Even today I remember how exactly he looked when he took his first breathe..Fair cheeks..His eyes were closed..He was soo tiny..His lips were soo pink..almost red.. His hands..Haha..They were soo small..He was soo fragile..light and small that I was getting goosebumbs and getting scared of the fact that i dont lose my grip..Am I holding him too tightly? Or Am I not holding him properly? I remember how much that nurse got annoyed when I kept on asking her soo many questions.. that she told me Sir please calm down in a very annoying manner and left in a hush. And all of us burst into laughter..But the happiness I was feeling was soo beautiful..Like I can never ever verbalise it properly.. Nobody can ever snatch away that fatherly feeling from me " I thought. Kangana broke the silence and saud "Par beta aapne avoid kyu kiya..Kya humse koi galti hogayi..ya naraaz the aap humse?" And Madhav looked down..I noticed that.."He has never behaved like this..Whats going on with him.. " I thought.. "Madhav beta..Idhar dekho..Aur Apne chote papa ko batao ke kya baat hai ?" Madhav raised his face and looked at me.. His eyes were still watery..This painful..upset.. look of Madhav is like a nightmare for me.. "Woh..Woh mumma ne manaa kiya Kangana aunty..aur aapse baat karne ke liye.." and again he looked down..A sense of anger flashed in my heart.."How dare she!" I thought angrily. But wait I should ask Madhav the whole thing before taking any action..Suddenly my eyes travelled to kangana..who was holding the edge of the bed for support.. Her face showed she was hurt and scared too..and she was looking at Madhav with lomging and teary eyes...I felt a pang of pain in my heart looking at these two people infront of me.."Madhav mujhe puri baat batao..okay.." And Madhav told me everything in a low voice..almost hurt.."Enough is enough" was the first thought that entered my mind! Suddenly Kangans came to Madhav and her shaking voice was almost audible.. "Madhav..Beta..aap humse baat karna mat chodna..pleasee beta.." And slowly she sat on ground holding Madhav's hand.. A mother was begging her own child ..Damnn..This felt soo wrong..How can I let this happen..Everything looked soo wrong! Madhav is a part of me too...How can she even think of being soo harsh towards Us and Madhav..How?..She is definetly not that Vividha that I knew for soo long! No she cant be that Vividha..Never!" Is all that I could think right now.
I was feeling soo angry...Even Madhav was upset and crying..How much it was hurting Me to see both Mother & Son crying ..But no more! I had enough of it! I asked Madhav to stop crying and told him Wiped his tears off.. "Nahi Madhav.. aap jisse chaho tab baat kar sakte ho..Aur yeh sab ab chodo aap..game khel rahe the na.. khelo..Mein aur Kangana aunty thodi dayr mein aapke saath khelengey..lekin tab tak aap apne room mein rehna okay.." And a smile took place on his face and he nodded in yes..I Looked at kangana who was not crying anymore but was looking at me in awe! But still I could see tears on her cheeks.. I took her by her shoulders and made her stand..She was looking soo weak and deafeated ! How much i hated this look on her..only God knows! And Madhav literally jumped on us and I had to catch him before he fall on ground..And he kissed me on my cheek first and then on Kangana's..And I could a long smile on her face..She was looking soo lovingly at Madhav..But then Madhav asked me to put him down so he can go to washroom...And I laughed..And He went running to washroom..And I looked at kangana.." Sabse pehle aap ab roiyega mat..Aapka beta aapse door nai jaega..Bharose rakhiye mujhpar" and in a fraction of second she embraced me tightly..And I dont know when and how my hands embraced her back lightly.. For next few seconds we stood like that..And then I broke our hug and asked her to follow me... I Took her hands into mine..My heart was burning with anger..Never ever have I ever felt this angry as I am feeling right now..Not even when Vividha slapped me not once but twice..But now I am going to talk..No I am going to make others realise what I am feeling and what they or She shouldnt have done!
I Reached Atharv-Vividha's room but stopped for a moment.. I was still holding Kangana's hand And Didnt Felt Like Leaving It..When I Looked At Her..She Looked At Me Blankly..Confused..But Now I Need To "Breathe In..Breathe Out" I Spoke To My Self..Because I Knew That Now What Is Going To Happen Will Definetly Not End In A Happy Note! And I Heard A Voice Saying "Vividha..Yeh Jo Kuch Kiya..Kya Sahi Tha Yeh..?" Probably That Voice Was Atharv's Ofcourse..But Before She Could Answer I Stormed Into Their Room With Kangana and said.." Bilkul Bhi Nahi...Bahut Hi Galat Kiya Vividha Ne!" My Voice Was Loud.. Reflecting how angry I Was! "Ravish..Please..Shaant Ho Jaiye.." I heard Kangana telling Me..Atharv just kept looking at me! And then I looked at Vividha..Her face showing nothing..no emotions nothing.."What has she become" I thought.. "Vividha..Bas bahut hogaya..Bahut tamasha bana diya aapne mere aur Madhav ke rishte ka...Aur ek maa aur uske bete ka...Par ab aur NAHI!" While saying this My voice was not loud but it surely sounded stern and bitter.. "Ravish Aap..!" Atharv Spoke But Before He Could Continue I Stopped Him "Nahi Atharv..Aaj Nahi..Aaj Sirf Woh Insaan Bolega Jo Har Qadam Par Aap Dono Ki Dhaal Banke Khada Raha..Jisne Aap Dono Se Kuch Bhi Nahi Maanga..Aur Aap Miya-Biwi Kuch Nahi Bolengey.Sirf Sunengey..!" And Atharv Went Quiet.. "Himmat kaise hui aapki Vividha ek bete se yeh kehne ke woh apne maa aur apne pita se baat karna chod de..Kya sochkar aapne ek chote se jaan se aisi bakwaas ki..yeh bhi nai socha ke iss baat ka uspar kya asar padega ..Aakhir jatana kya chaheti hai aap? Yahi ke Madhav aapka beta hai..? Vividhaaa! Woh aapka beta tha..hai..aur rahega..itni si baat samajh kyu nai aati aapko?" "Ravish..Yeh kaise baat kar rae ho Vividha se.." As usual Atharv spoke to support Vividha.. He needs to know this is how one speaks when he hears from his son that he was asked not to speak to him so I thought Of answering but "Nahi Atharv..Aaj mein inhe jawaab dungi..Aur Ravish..Yeh aurat nahi ek kalank hai aurat ke naam par.. Yeh mujhse mera beta cheen legi aur ab toh aap bhi iss apshangun ke saath hai " I heard Vividha saying..I got angrier and cringed at her language! "How can she be soo childish? So mean?" I Thought to myself.. "Nahi Vividha..Hargiz nahi..Mein bas apne beye ke zindagi mein thodi si jagah chaheti hoon..bas uske saath rehna chaheti hoon..Mehsus karna chaheti hoon ke kaisa lagta hai jab koi aapko Maa pukaare..bas yehi chaheti hoon..Usse aaplog se alag nahi karna chaheti mein.. aur aapse toh bilkul bhi nahi" "SHUTUP! Jhooti Ho Tum..Mein acche se jaanti hoon ke tum jaisi aurat.." "BAS Vividhaa! Ab aap Kangana iss lehze mein baat nahi karengi! Mat bhooliye Kangana ka mujgse aur Madhav se kya rishta hai.." "Raavishhh!" Atharv shouted.. "Chillaye mat..Mein bhi chilla sakta hoon..Vividha ko samjhaye ke baat kaise karni chahiye..Aur mein apni baat khatam kiye yaha se hilunga tak nahi!" "Kaun si baat Ravish? Yehi ke aapne humein dhoka diya yeh jaante hue meine aur Atharv ne itna kuch sahaa itne saalon mein..Apne humare vishwaas ke khilwaar kiya hai..Vishwaasghaat kiya hai..Guddi ka dil toda hai..Aapse apka support hi toh maanga tha..Itna bhi nai kar paaye aap apne bhai ke liye?"
And I stood staring at her blankly! "Is she even serious?" And I Lost It! "Ek minute..Kya kaha aapne? Meine dhoka diya aapko.. Yeh mat bhooliye Vividha dhoka aapne bhi diya mujhe..Aur meine jo bhi kiya uska kaaran mein hi jaanta hoon..Agar yeh dhoka hai toh dhoka hi sahi..Aakhir aapse hi sikha hai Vividha..Aur haan..apka yeh "itna kuch saha meine aur Atharv ne" sun sun kar thak gaya hoon mein.. Ek hi baat baar baar kyu dauraati hai aap..Aaj mujhe inn lafzo ka matlab bataaiye.. Mein janna chahta hoon ke aakhir aap dono ne kitna saahaa.. Chaliye mein hi batata hoon.. Haan aapke aur Atharv ke saath jo hua woh galat tha.. bahut hi galat..Mein samajhta hoon..Atharv ne ek baar nahi.. do baar apni pehchaan..samajh khoyi..Jaanta hoon..Aapko apna dil maarkar mujhse shaadi karni padi..yeb bhi jaanta hoon..Aap ne apna pita kho dia.. waise woh aapke pita kehlaane layak nai hai.. lekin tab bhi.. Ek pita ko khone ke dard ka ehsaas hai mujhe..aur khaas kar tab jab aap unhe aakhri baar..unke baakhri waqt par dekh bhi na paao..Jaanta hoon..Aapne ya Atharv ne kam bardasht nahi kiya.. Lekin ek sawaal mera bhi hai Vividha..Kya jab tak aap mere saath thi kya aap par meine koi zulm kiya.. ya koi pabandiya lagayi aap par.. ya phir aapko kisi kaid mein kaidi ki tarah rakha ? Itna kuch hua.. Par aakhir mein aapdono ek hogaye..Aur agar koi akela reh gaya toh woh mein tha Vividha.. In sab pahelio mein agar kisi ne kuch khoya sabse zyada toh woh mein hoon Vividha..Apni maa..Apne dada..Pita..Apna pehla pyaar...yaha tak Madhav ke pita hone ke haq tak kho baitha mein!..Zindagi ke har raah par mein khota chala gaya aur apne rishte haarta gaya.. aur sab chup chaap..akele sehen karta chala gaya... Kisi par bhi apne dukh ka bhoj nai rakha meine.. Kisi par bhi nahi.. par tab bhi Vividha.. tab bhi mere andar kisi ke liye nafrat paida nai hui aur naahi aaj hai... tab bhi mein har qadam par aaplog ke saath khada rahaa chahe mujhe takleef ho ya na ho...Bina aplog se sawaal kiye.. aur meine kabhi bhi aaplog se koi umeed nahi lagayi.. Kyunki mein apni jagah acche se jaanta tha.. Yeh nai keh raha aapka ya Atharv ka dard kam aur mera zyada..Bas yeh smajha raha hoon..Dard Dard hota hai..kam zyada kuch nahi hota Vividha..Isse kisi tarazu mein mat toliye..Kahin aisa na ho ke jab aap tole apne dard ko kisi aur ke dard ke saath toh bhaari hone ke jagah aapka hissa halka lage... islye yeh kehna bandh kijiye ke aapdono ne bahut sahaa.. Mat bhooliye ek insaan aur tha jisne bhi saha bahut kuch par har baat par ya har waqt kisi ko yeh kehta nai phirta ke usne bahut sahaa! Aapko woh sab mil gaya jiski aapko chah thi.. khushi..Sukoon..Sab kuch..par ek baar uss insaan se puchiye jo aapke saamne khada hai ke tumhe kya naseeb hua yeh sab se..Mein batata hoon..Akelapan..Azhiyat..Aur Ek Baap hone ka Haa bhi Cheen liya gaya..Mein Khush Hoon Ke Aapke Haath Khushiyon Se Bhare Hue Hai..Par mere haath bilkul khaali hai jaise...Koi saath dena waala nai hai..." And Suddenly I felt Something Tightening Her Grip On My Hand..And I Looked At Her..She Was Nodding Her Head In No..And I Understood What she meant and I just looked at her..And I Continued To Speak further "Apni maa ko khone ke thik ek din baad Ek pita hone ka haq bhi kho diya meine.. Ehsaas hai aapko kuch? Ya sab bhool gayi aap? Aur kyu khoya? Kyunki sabko laga Madhav Atharv ka khoon hai aur aapka...Toh Madhav ko apne asli maa-baap kr paas hona chahiye..naahi uss baap ke paas jiska woh khoon toh nahi hai par uska baap pyaar bahut karta hai usse..apne se badhkar..apne se zyada..Chup tha mein.. Kyunki yehi toh sab chahte the.. Aap..Atharv..Har Koi.." "Humnein toh aisa kuch nahi kaha tha aapse ke aap apna qadam piche karle" Said a Shocked Vividha "Qadam bhadaane bhi toh nahi diya tha mujhe.. Kehne se kya hota..Aaplog ke chehre paar saaf likha tha ke kya chahete aaplog mujhse..Aur Jab Kaha toh kisi ne roka bhi nahi.." And then Vividha looked down..Maybe because She Now Knew That I Understood what she wanted me to do..She looked really embarrassed.. " Chuo raha yeh sochkar ke koi mujhse cheene ya na cheene..Mein kisi ak haq nahi cheen sakta..Kaise cheen loon sirf islye me Meine usse apna naam diya..5 saal tak uski parvarish ki Vividha ke saath milkar..yeh jaante hue ke woh mera khoon nai hai.." Looking at Atharv ''Usse behpana pyaar kiya taaki usse woh sab kabhi mehsus na ho jo aapne ya meine apne bachpan mein mehsus ki hai..Sab kuch kiya..Apni wardi tak kurbaan kardi..sirf Madhav aur Vividha ke kaahtir..Bina kisi umeed ke.." And I Broke Down Remembering Those Memories..Which were beautiful but at the same time painful too! Tears couldnt stop flowing from my eyes..Neither I had anymore energy to stop and control myself ! My voice started shaking..My body went numb thinking about those years..I wanted to hold myself..Control myself..Suddenly I felt A pair of hands holding my shoulder firmly..amd saying "Ravish..Aap royengey nahi..Bilkul bhi nai..Sambhaliye khud Ko" I Felt disgusted with this term 'Sambhaliye' And almost screamed in pain.. " Yeh toh karta aa raha hoon itnse saalo se.. sambhal hi toh araha hoon khud ko..Zindage har mor par aisa dhakka deti hai ke gir jataa hoon aur sambhalne waala koi nahi hota..Nafrat hogaye hai ab mujhe iss shabd se..Lekin Bas ab nahi.. Aur Vividha kis vishwaas..Bharose ki baat kar rahi hai aap? Yeh itne gehre shabd apke zubaan par acche nahi lagte...Yaad kijiye..Ky waada kiya tha aapne.. Ke Aap Madhav Ke Pita Hai Aur Yeh Haq Koi Nahi Cheen sakta Aapse..Yad kijiye jab waqt ayaa wada nibhane ka toh aapne kya kiya? Khaamosh baithi rahi jab madhav mujhse sawaal kar raha tha...Ek lafz nahi nikla aapks muh se Vividha..Balki ab toh mujhe aisa lag raha hai jaise aap intezaar kar rahi thi mera ke mein khud hi uska jawaab dedun..aur wahi jawab doon jo aapkr haq mein ho..Yeh waada kiya tha aapne?" "Aisa nai hai..Woh..woh.." Vividha couldnt speak any further...Atharv was sitting at the corner with his head down..
"Har pal apne baare mein socha aapne..Mere aur aapke bich humesha aapki khushi..apki pasand..apki khwahish ko aage rakha meine..Mein har pal ek kone mein khada sab karta raha..Ravish se shaadi ki par Atharv agaya toh usse chordo..Atharv nahi aya mandap par Ravish mujhse shaadi karlo..4 saal baad jab aagaya toh saare waade sab bhul khar Ravish mujhe chordo..Ravish Madhav ke pita ka haq kisi aur ka..wapas kardo..Ravish Guddi apse pyaar karti hai..apna lo usss aur khush rakho..Ravish yeh..Ravish Woh..Aur Ravish se umeed ki jaati hai ke woh sab kuch kare bina kuch kahe..Aur woh karta bhi gaya khushi khushi..Matlab mein kya mehsus karta tha..kya chahta kisi ne nahi pucha..Aaplog ..khaaskar aapki demands or orders mere liye kabhi khatam hi nahi hoti..Ek kaam hua toh dusra order dediya..Insaan hoon yaar! Insaano ki tarah peshaao.. Itna kuch kiya Vividha..Itna kuch..par tab bhi aapke aur Atharv ke liye kam pad gaya..Itna kuch sehne aur karne ke baad bhi mujhse yeh kaha jaa raha hai ke Mein itna sa bhi nahi karapaya apne bhai ke liye.. Areey aur kya chahete hai aap..kya karu aur yeh saabit karne ke liye ke aaj bhi Mein apno ke liye kuch bhi kar sakta hoon..Bardasht karne..Dusro ki khwahishein puri karni ki bhi ek hadd ..ek sima hoti hai..aur aaj yeh simaa par hogayi! Insaan hoon..Ghulaam nahi..Dost woh nahi hote jo aap hai..Jis tarah aaone mujhpar haath uthaya..Jiss tarah aapne mujhse bartaao kiya yeh jaane par meine apna ek waada toda..Aisa koi bhi dost nahi karta apne dist ke saath..Jhoithe waadein mat kiya kariye Vividha..Dusro par ungli uthaane se pehle khud ko dekhiye.." And yes I know I have been very harsh..But it was very much needed..
"Yeh woh Ravish nahi hai jo Vividha aur Mujhse pyaar karta tha aur izzat karta tha " Finally Atharv responded angrily..! "Galat! Ekdum galat! Main aaj aaplog ke saath nahi khada hoon iska yeh matlab nahi mein izzat nahi karta..Aur Yeh Woh Vividha Atharv Nahi Hai Jinse Mein Pyaar Karta Tha Aur Izaat Bhi..Yeh Jo Mere Saamne Khade Hai Bahut Hi Patthar Dil Aur Matlabi Log Hai..Mein aaj bhi wahi Ravish hoon bas fark itna hai Ke yeh Ravish ab aur balidaan nahi de sakta aur naahi chup reh sakta hai yaa kisi ko bhi yeh haq dede ke koi bi kuch bhi karwaale usse..chahe takleef ho ya na ho! Ab mein bolunga..aur ladunga bhi..Apne beye ke liye..Aur uss Maa ke liye jisse uski aulaad cheen li gayi jab woh paida hua tha..Aur aisa karne se mujhe koi nai rok sakta..Jaanta hoon Guddi ke saath meine galat kiya..Aur woh jo saza dengi mein tayyar hoon uske liye.. Lekin mein tab bhi Yahi kadhaa rahunga..Kangana ke sath!"
" Apni zaat se badhkar sochna sikhiye Vividha..Zara gaur kijiyega meri baaton par..Haan Ek aur baat daubara sochiyega bhi mat..Sochna kya..kahayal bhi mat aane dijiyega Ke Aap Madhav ko mujhse ya Kangana se alag kar sakti hai Aur AB AAP DONO MIYAA-BIWI REST KIJIYE!"
And Finally I Took A Long Breathe..And Took Kangana Along With Me.. Taking a long steps back to where we must be..With Madhav..! Kangana Looked At Me Smiling But Her Eyes Reflected Somethimg...Was It Pride? Maybe! :)