Originally posted by: Ipoona
Episode 181
Tumhari dharknay ... Tumhari saansay ...
His feet are as unsettled as his restive mind ... He paces with a kind of frantic disquiet ... The kind of cold sweat dread that often washes over in the aftermath of a narrowly avoided tragedy ...
He is chasing the ambulance ... It could have been her ... Could very easily have been her ... His files slip out of his grasp, his hands oddly clumsy. He feet pacing, he drags in air in long drags as though the oxygen in the room has been eliminated ... His legs will not support him ... His eyes closing, he collapses on his bedroom chaise in an exhausted slump ...
He has known from the very beginning ... How could he not have know ... His Di had warned him ... Dekhana jis din tumhari zindagi mein voh ladki aaygi na... Jiskay bina tumhari dharknay rook jayaigi ... Jiskay bina tum jee nahin paogay ... Tumhay aaisa lagayga agar voh tumhay na mili toh tumhari saansay hi rook jaaygi ...
Tumhari dhakanay ... Tumhari saansay ... Ji nahi paogay ... Exactly how he feels ...
A mirror to his soul, he walks up to it and stares ... The truth shines in his troubled eyes ... His heart thumps ... Dhak dhak, dhak dhak ... It drums following a rhythm not its own ... He knows it drums with another ... He looks at his chest ... Khushi, he whispers ...
He has known it all along ... He knew from that very first moment ... He knew, but chose to ignore it ... Chose to subvert it ... Chose to kill it ... How hard had he tried ?
Right from the first moment ... He knew that this would take over his life ... He knew it was no ordinary encounter ... She was no ordinary girl ... Since he has met her, not a single day ... a solitary hour ... a passing minute ... a fleeting moment has gone by that he has not thought if her ...
Khushi ... I am in love ... Even now, he does not think of it such ... It is not part of his vocabulary even yet ... All he knows is that deprived of her, he feels an actual physical, all consuming, full bodied, incinerating pain ... The thought of her gone from his life constricts his chest ... Injects cold dread in his heart ... Weakens his knees ... Parches his throat ... Numbs his mind ...
Her Care ... Tum theek ho, he asks her with obsessive need, over and over again ... Her joy ... He will do anything to see her smile ... His Desire ... He burns for her every second of the day and every tortuous minute of his interminable nights ... His Want ... Not just a physical all consuming need ... He wants her as his ... His own ... With him ... in his sights ... Tied to him ... His bangles on her wrists ... His name scrawled into hers ...
Amidst a thousand different emotions surging through him, one that surfaces with an icy clarity ... His answer to that one unanswerable, one fundamental, one momentous question of their relationship ... Kuon farak pardta hai ...
Farka padta hai, kuonki mein tumhary bina jee nahi paoonga ... As heart stoppingly truthful ... As disarmingly straightforward as that ... His life without her was an empty shell ... An Aaadhi adhuri si zandigee ... He knows this now, but still will take months to say it ...
All he knows is that he cannot breath without her ... His heart had stopped at the thought of her in the ambulance ... Did he not feel his chest constrict when she had said Khush ho jaiya, hum ja rahay hai ... Hamesha ka liya ... Had he not spend fitful nights ... Jolting awake, with a desperate sense of loss believing he will never see her again ... Does he not ache for her every minute she is not in front of him ... Had his heart not been ripped to shreds the night he learned of her engagement.
Khushi ... He senses her ... She is thinking of him ... He calls her softly ... Knowing she is listening ...
She is listening ... Her heart drums, picking the rhythm of his ... She clutches at her chest, her eyes squeeze shut in unbearable anguish. Her pink duppata flutters around her draping her ... Once again in a rose like bridal veil ...
He cares ... Humari itni fikar, she wonders ... She runs her fingers over his gift, holding them ...
She had heard him yell his desperation, his eyes spilling his frustration, mouth foaming with pent up anger ... Of course Farka padta hai ! She heard him loud and clear ... But still wanted more ... These red bangles give her that more ... They speak a language she understands clearly ... He has said in his own way what she wanted to hear all along ... Farak padta hai kuonki tum meri ho ...
Arnav Singh Raizada has given her churian ... She laughs with unfettered joy, rattling the churian before her sparkling eyes ... A man whose actions are never just empty meaningless gestures ... He had given her bangles ...
Not a copy cat at all, next morning he is a man who has worked through his indecisions ... Has soul searched and come to some long delayed, but obvious conclusions. Decision reached, his plan of action is disarmingly simple ...
A passionate siege ... A lighting fast wooing ... And then the tie her to him exactly as she had scathingly informed him, months ago ... With a janam janam ka aatoot bhandan ... Exactly as he wants ... She's not going to know what hit her ...
Mein bhi oosi taraf ja raha hoon, he springs into action.
She is nowhere to be seen. Kya doondhat ho ? Her Amma asks, smiling gently. Aapki Beti ... He wants to answer but shakes his head politely.
She is outside, with the bawachis. Her duppata tied around her waist, her hair up in a knot ... Had she thought of him when she piled her hair up ? He watches her from the veranda ... She has not sensed him. He know it will come ... The moment she feels him.
She freezes mid sentence ... Her arm raised in suspended animation ... Dhak dhak ... Her heart informs her ... He is here ... Her eyes wide, almost scared to look at him, in case her heart will explode ... She turns to him. He is on the verandah, staring at her, a gentle smile on his lips.
Her eyes are artlessly open ... Streaming her helpless desire straight to him ... He exult knowing she is exactly in the same boat as him.
Their song arrives and sings like it has never done before ... Unhesitant ... but still shy ... Bold but still tentative ... Forging forward but with delicate steps ... It melody rises in happy celebration ... Its lilt, drunkenly slurred on soft smiles ... Glazed eyes ... Elevated heartbeats ...
She feeds the gaiya as she gazes at him ...
Hey bhagwan ! She wails, her palm coving her lips in horror ... Yeh humnay kya kar diya ... It is ofcourse all his fault !
Excuse me ... He flirts from his elevated perch, his eyebrow animated. How so ? He asks, wanting so badly for her to confess ...
Say it Khushi ... Kuonki you, Arnavji, have robbed me of my sanity ... Kuonki jab aap samnay hotay hai ... Hum kuch kar hi nahi patay ...
Kaho Khushi ... Kuonki jab mein samnay aata hoon, toh tumhari seinsay rook jati hai ... Jab mein tumhary pass hota hoon, toh tumharay Dil ki Dharkan tez ho jati hai ... Keh do Khushi ...
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
18