ArShi OS (Through Poetry)
Still I'll Rise... Yet I Am Nowhere
(This OS starts from when Arnav finds out about Khushi's innocence but by this time, she has already long given up on becoming a part of Arnav's life once again and has left far away, leaving Arnav to realise that it is too late. Depressing, I know... :(. The poem is split into two POV's ' Khushi and Arnav's. Enjoy!)
*Khushi*
I stand here, firm and strong,
Knowing back there is not where I am to belong,
My heart wounded with hurt; bloodily fluttering under your captive gaze,
But I know, now, it is far too late.
Crushed, I was, by those uttered words,
Cut to the core, wounded to the soul
Yet still I pray for that rampant heart of yours,
To melt down its chambers of remorse.
Innocent I was, and innocent I shall always remain,
Coming clean is no longer my game,
Forever waiting for those everlasting tears to dry,
But like mist, still, I'll rise.
No beautiful melody will ever replace your voice,
No other heart showers your love on mine,
But no eyes bare that disgrace towards me,
No tongue bares those wretched, murderous knives.
You wanted to see me like this right?
Bowed head and lowered eyes,
Feeling broken through my silent sobs.
But over that, still, I'll rise.
I have learnt now though, through the harder way,
Life does not stay to vaccum the shattered remains,
Amongst all the trials and challenges,
I have may have passed colourfully, yet still, I drown in my pain.
I tried to tell you,
Tried to show your blinded eyes the truth,
Your denial, however, lost you your heart, and me mine,
But I'll overcome that, still, I'll rise.
Be free my beloved,
I will rise,
Your love outweighed your anger, but not the hate,
Don't worry though, I shall rise,
Your eyes spoke the world despite the silence in your mind,
Aside all that, I will still rise,
Your heart promised to heal, yet it left me crumbling,
My heart shall now rise though it changes not what I feel,
I pray for your wellbeing, your future, your success, your long life,
For I do not worry as your heart must have already risen,
Find that girl and love her as you would your sister, your mother, and once upon a time, me,
But know none will hold your heart as lovingly as one that I believe was mine.
Still, I will rise... Yet I Am Nowhere.
I swear I have never felt colder,
Devoid of your warm embrace, reminiscing your presence,
The soft delicate teases to your touch, lingering heavily on my skin,
The love that you had bestowed.
The way your cheeks flushed red,
That one strand of hair hiding your face from my prying eyes,
The truthfulness in your words,
Comparing myself to you, how can I rise?
How your laughter brightened the world,
The twinkling in your eyes at life's small joys,
Your expressive happiness for not riches in my power, but for gold in my heart,
The modest foundation of your morals; your heart.
Trapped in those walls of insecurity was I,
Angered by the persistence of your memories in my mind,
Tortured by the courage in your attitude, the boldness of your decisions,
Putting you down was the only way.
It could not happen all over again,
People were to never be trusted in this world full of deceit and lies,
Thrusting my anger and hate upon you was what I did,
But even then, you were nothing less, you were only encouraged more, to rise.
My love, I was blinded,
The anger, the hate had always been my defence, my highlight,
Yet I am cursed to bear the aftermath of it,
One such aftermath that lost me my life, my once promised beautiful nights.
Only now do I realise how right you were,
How your spirit was only one of the greats to believe,
The way you rightfully accused I would learn not in your presence,
And here I stand, with the world underestimating the depth of my grief.
I wish, my beloved, that the clocks could rewind,
How I wish to quieten the hurt in your cries,
Try to soothe the pain with my undying love for you,
Helping your ever helpful heart, to once again rise.
I do know now of your greatness my love,
Yet, I cannot rise,
I know now of your worth in my life,
But I cannot bring myself to rise without it,
How your beautiful soul deserves so much more than the impurity of mine,
My heart sinks at the very thought,
When he will come along and caress your face, those hands replacing mine,
How do you expect me to rise?
I know I have lost you to infinity, so searching is not necessary,
But do know that your happiness will help me to rise,
Know my love, that I know your heart will not rise, but also know that mine won't either.
Still I say, I will never rise... Because I know that will get me nowhere.
~~~~~
Hope you guys enjoyed it! I really took time out from my hectic revision schedule to write this for all those readers whom I just cannot stand letting down. I love and value each and every "Like", "Comment" and reader, so I would really appreciate it if you guys could pen down your thoughts into a comment. It would really mean a lot to me, and all your comments are the biggest support a writer could ever ask for.
Mahnoor :))))) Xx
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