"Mrs. Razaida, congratulations you're pregnant."
The fear that was deep beneath her resurfaced. It wasn't a nightmare, but yet it shook her to the core. She held on to the bed post in her bed room trying to comprehend the very words, the doctor uttered. Khushi has entered motherhood.
It has been 3 years since Arnav and her re- married. They agreed on having a child later on, but one night on their anniversary changed it all. The fear lingered within her, but she ignored it. It wasn't that she didn't want to be a mother. No, she wanted to be a mother. It was her dream the moment she was cradled by her own mother. But happiness doesn't always last in life. If it is fate to lose something precious, we lose it. The day her parents died, Khushi vowed to never have children. The feeling of abandonment wasn't something she would want her own child to go through. Khushi knew Arnav and her would never let anything happen to their child, but the terror of knowing, life had other plans terrified her.
Her gaze fell on the clock, in her bedroom, which read 10:00pm. Anytime soon Arnav will arrive from work. She clenched her fists to prepare herself to tell him the news. Khushi wasn't afraid of his reaction because she knew he wanted this. However Khushi on the other hand didn't. All she could digest is that she was going to be a mother, her womb held a human being that was growing and soon enough she was going to give birth to it. The thought petrified her entire being.
The opening of their bed room door bought her back to reality. There stood her husband Arnav. His face looked tired, but once his eyes captured her own, he smiled. A sense of peace diffused in to her body. The sight of her husband always calmed her nerves. Nothing in the world mattered to her, but him.
He opened his arms and engulfed her in to a bear hug. They stayed like that for a few minutes and broke apart.
"Hey love, why are you so glum?" Arnav asked her cupping her angelic face. Khushi's eyes dropped his gaze and looked away. How was she going to do this? Fear began to churn the pit of her stomach.
"Khushi… What's wrong? Why are you so quiet and you're not looking in to my eyes. Please, Jaan tell me. I know something is wrong." Arnav sounded worried. His voice almost trembled. The feeling of knowing his wife wasn't okay frightened him. He hated to see tears in her eyes. That was how strong their love was.
Her voice shook, but she spoke
"I am fine Arnav just a tiring day." She still couldn't look in to his eyes. That gave away her lie. Arnav detected the lie the moment her eyes fell downcast. Something was wrong and he could feel it.
Arnav gently cupped her face and made her look in to his eyes. Tears were beginning to form. Pain stabbed his heart. Oh how he hated those tears. It felt as if a puppy was being run down every time she cried. It was pure torture for him to witness it.
"Khushi darling, please tell me what's wrong. I cannot bear to see tears in your eyes. You know I am here whatever the problem is. We are married Khushi, so please tell me angel." The pain in Khushi's heart increased at the tone of his voice. She still didn't have the strength, but she knew the truth has to be told. It was too much for her to handle, especially hearing the pain in his voice.
"Ar-Ar" Her voice was shaking, but she continued. Arnav just watched her, still holding her face. He was confused at her hesitance. However he still remained silent, waiting for her to keep going.
"Ar-Ar.. I'm… I'm… I'm pregnant." She finally whispered. Slowly she looked in to his eyes.
Arnav stood still, not moving a muscle. The whisper could be heard barely, but he heard it well. The strum of his heart pumped faster. Suddenly his face lit and he grabbed her by the waist and spinned her around. Khushi was stunned to react at the turn of events. Her husband was laughing loudly holding her close.
"I AM GOING TO BE A FATHER. I CANNOT BELIEVE IT. I AM REALLY GOING TO BE A FATHER." He was yelling out his joy. Holding her close, Arnav didn't give her to breathe a second. Khushi tried to smile along with him, but the tears just strolled down. Noticing the silence from her Arnav gently put her down and looked at her. Her head was looking down to the floor. This was Arnav's cue. Now he understood what was bothering her so much.
"Khushi…" Arnav whispered and he tipped her chin up to face him once again. The tears kept flowing. Not being able to bear it any longer he hugged her tight and began to whisper soothing words.'
"It's okay darling, its okay. I am here okay? Don't worry about anything." Khushi shook her head in his chest.
"No Arnav, it's not okay." Her voice was muffled, but Arnav understood her words. Gently he pulled away from her and carried her to the bed. Calmly he laid her down. Khushi held his hand tightly. He knew she wanted him to say beside her. He knelt down facing her. Grasping her slender hand placed a kiss on it.
"Now darling tell me. Are you afraid to be a mother?" Arnav asked her lovingly. For a few minutes before answering Khushi studied her husband. They have been through thick and thin together. He has hurt her many times in the past, yet he was the very same man that healed her wounds.
"I cannot be a mother Arnav. It wouldn't be right to inflict pain on our child." Arnav looked at her confused. "What do you mean Khushi? Inflict pain on our child? How in the world would that happen?"
"I remember the days when my mother held me… That moment I decided I wanted to be a mother just like her. But then I lost all that once my parents died. I was all alone in the world; Eight years old, nothing to look forward to. I know I was adopted by an amazing family, yet the sense of having my own child terrifies me. What if something happens to us? I cannot bear to watch my own child be an orphan again Arnav. What if I fail as a mother? How am I supposed to go on? I can't bear it Arnav. I just cannot. My reasoning's are stupid, but it's what scares me to the core." Khushi was bawling. Her face was turning red from the tears that were shedding. Without another word Arnav cupped her face and gently kissed her lips.
"Khushi, listen to me. Your parents might have left this world, but that doesn't mean the same will happen to our child. Don't forget I am an orphan too, but darling we weren't left alone. We had family with us. Both of us had family with us to keep us going. Yes, the feeling of being empty didn't leave us, but yet we had people to support us. Our child is the symbol of our love. And love can overcome anything. You taught me that Khushi. If we both ever had to leave this world our child wouldn't be alone Khushi. The beauty that is growing in your womb would have an extra family. Also, you are the most compassionate, loving, sacrificial person I've ever known in my life. You think you will not be a good mother? Do you know what mother hood is Khushi? It's the exact same characteristics I just listed there for you. You have got it all. You are going to be the most amazing mother in this world. And you are not going to be alone. I am here with you; your husband, who helped you create this miracle. I will be by your side every step of the way. We are new to this, but that doesn't mean we won't learn from this experience. Life is all about learning darling, and moving ahead."
Her tears didn't stop, but she felt a sense of peace coursing through her veins at her husband's words. He gave her courage that didn't exist before. She knew this was her late mother's sign to her; she was indeed blessed with an amazing husband. If they made it through together so would their child.
"We will do this together Arnav?"
Arnav smiled and whispered.
"Together"
Fan Fictions
