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Helloo Guyz...Inspired by so many FF/SS/OS on the forum...I tried my hands once again after a long gap...Here it is...Though its a hush hush writing..bear it ..Even if yu do'nt like..Do Comment...
OS-Players
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Two Months into Marriage and it felt like Years...She was staring at the water in front of eyes.
The constant pang in her chest everytime she thought of Him...correction her husband.Their time together may not have been perfect..infact it was far frm perfect,but it invaded most of her memories more than the years she spent with her own family.
she was going through a lot b'coz of her husband and most of them were unusually painful yet warm in many ways..Memories of their first meeting,their trip to nanital, their sangeet performance ,their bet ,his first ever Gift...those beautiful bangles...then their wedding...there were lot of memories and she could barely handle them without her heart aching...she was breaking down bit by bit...He behaved perfect and loving infront of his family..talked to her nicely as if they were madly in love...but refused to even acknowledge her existence in the walls of their room as if she was invisible...Everytime he showed his indifference towards her..she felt unwanted...dejected.But despite of all this..she hated herself for having feelings for him...tht she was getting used to his indiffrence,even tht pangs of hurt was starting to get comforting.
Pearls of tears rolled down her cheeks...Being in love was so painful and dismal.No matter how he behaved...she knew tht he himself was suffering...torturing himself.Many times,he tried his best to show tht he did'nt care..but she knew in her heart sumwhere tht he was pretending..tht he cared for her
...
Again,memories of tht night ran through her mind..whenever she thought tht she misunderstood him,tht he's heartless man...he proved her wrong...when she went missing for few hours...his world turned upside down..He searched for her all over delhi and finally found her in a temple.Though he remained calm at tht time until they reached home...
"What the hell is this?" he yelled.
she did'nt reply and without looking at him sat on the recliner.
"i'm asking sumthing from yu"he struggled to keep his anger in check.
""What the hell do you think you were up to?",his voice was harsh and he was furious.
she didn't keep herself silent this time when he raised his voice in anger.
"Who r u to ask anything...aapka koi haq nahi mujh par.."she replied in a loud voice,her voice was tembling with the intensity of her anger.
sadness welled up inside him on her words. he felt as if a hand had clutched his heart. and he couldn't breathe.
"Till our divorce...yu r socially n legally my Wife...n yu do owe an explanation to me...do yu get that"Arnav argued almost shouted at her.
"This is the limit...
"Had hoti hai gair zimedari ki..main kitna pareshaan tha k kahin tumhe kuch...mujhe laga maine tumhe..."he blurted out in anger but regreted instantly.
She was shocked ,her mouth fell open, eyes became wide, like she couldn't believe her ears.His behaviour was unexpected for her.Everyday,he reminded her tht she was unwanted and he wanted to get rid of her and now,he was behaving so possesively.
.pearls of tears appeared in her eyes and ultimately rolled down the beautiful cheeks.
"aapko mere liye pareshan hone ki koi zarrorat nahi Mr Raizada..."her voice was hoarse.She knew ,he was worried,but why??
"jab tak tum is ghar mein ho...tum meri izzat bhi ho, aur zimmedari {responsibility}bhi..aur aaj k baad bina bataye tum kahin nahi jayogi"he said trying to control his emotions.
.He regretted for saying harsh words to her but he realised that there was nothing in his hands.all,he could do was to try n hope for the best.pain,frustation,helplessness..he was feeling all at the same time.but his argument made him realise ,perhaps for the first time that wht he feel for Khushi was beyond his control...who was destined to be a part of his life..and meant to leave too...Without giving her a backward glance...he left the room irritatedly...leaving her Alone...
She closed her eyes to ease the pain and helplessness she felt for him..she wondered If she would ever be able to understand Him..the Chain of her thoughts broke ,when Anjali called her for dinner and she dragged herself once again to face the world.
Another week passed like tht ,Tension was increasing day by day.Now Arnav started spending most of his time in office . But were playing their roles perfectly in front of the family...until tht night...when their life once again changed its course.It was dinner time when She returned frm Temple after a long day along with Anjali..when hari prakash told him that Arnav was home early and had'nt come out of her room even for lunch.
without listening anything further..she went to his room to check if he was alright or not.
when she entered in the room,there was complete darkness in the room and a very deep and cold silence.she turned on the lights and saw him sitting on a chair near the window."Is he alright?" she thought.
slowly she sat in front of her..but he was staring blankly like she was not in front of him.
"ArnavJi..." she pressed her hand softly.
"Do'nt touch me..." after long moments of silence,he said coldly.his strange reaction astonished her.
"Just leave me alone..." His voice was cold.
"No..I'll not leave..." She hissed.
"i can't see yu suffering like this... Why r yu doing this???... why r yu behaving like this,Why yu r so angry wid me? tell me once /b'coz, I'm willing to help you in this regard as much as I can." Her sounded voice was tired and painful.
"the only person who destroyed my life is talking about helping me.." he said sarcastically.
"If yu've any hope in yur heart then let me tell yu one thing Khushi kumari gupta...i hate yu and i'm not going to accept this relationship ever..mujhe tumhare
saath koi rishta nahi rakhna,So stop Pretending tht yu care..." he hissed in anger.
His Anger , indifferent attitude and razor sharp words triggered the pent up pain ,helplessness and frustration in her.Whenever she tried to talk to him...he would dismiss her mercilessly..but now,the pain was unbearable.
"Enough Mr.Arnav Singh Raizada...I should stop...You should stop!!! Even I'm tired...tired of putting up this act...When yu r going to stop????Stop prending tht yu do'nt care when we both knw tht yu do..Do'nt yu knw how seroius I'm on yu??Do'nt yu knw how much I care for yu?? Do'nt yu knw how much yu ruined my life'cause i am insanely thinking wht I've done wrong tht Yu r hurting yurself and me in the process???"
"How much pain will yu give me, until yu r satisfied? when i broke down?when i finally lose my mind?.No..yu do'nt need to do tht.cause i already broke down n lose my mind by the moment i fell in love with yu..." She yelled in pain and closed her eyes tightly,
but the tears squeezed through her lashes to run down her cheeks.
Khushi's outburst left Arnav Stunned..His heart sank and brain too numbed too feel anything.he was speechless for moments.At first,he could'nt believe his ears..but then a wave of involuntary shock hit him.From his face... it was difficult to judge his present emotional status.
He just sat there, silently, staring blankly.. he wanted to scream as pain twisted and turned inside him. ..but he was unable to do so.He felt the sting of tears burning his eyes and he blinked to keep them at bay.There was nothing left for him which life could offer.everything was there,but he was so lonely...and the worst loneliness was not to be comfortable with yourself...How Ironic It was...love...He always yearned to hear those words frm her...but when the moment finally came...Those assuring words refused to give him the satisfaction and warmth ...he longed for..
Hours passed but not his thoughts..he was still like a stone and unable to understand that what had happened in his life was a dream or reality...but the ultimate truth is that reality is that which, when we stop believing in it, doesn't go away...Her words were like fire and his existence was unable to bear the heat of that fire.
.He spent the night thinking about Khushi...she was devasted completely only b'coz of him.He crushed her dreams..tortured her mentally...accused her for having a relationship with his Jeeja...Though things were still the same...still wht transpired between them on terrace was not clear...But,He no longer felt the need to Knw...Infact,truth no longer mattered to him...But Now what???
Damage was done,he killed her spirit,her dreams,her love in his blind rage and Anger...Being forgiven was such a hefty thing to ask and he was afraid tht It would never be given to him and He definately not deserved her forgiveness...He loved her...but he betrayed her love by not trusting her..And he knew one thing tht without trust ,even the strongest love cannot survive...
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Kehne ko to na Darmiyaan faasle hamare the...
Kismat se magar hum tum samandar ke do kinaare the...
The next few days passed in a blur.But sumthing had changed.Arnav always tried not to come in Khushi's way,avoiding the possibilty of meeting her. He made sure their paths crossed as little as possible,planned his day tht way...Life had become more complicated.And he was running...Yes Arnav Singh Raizada was running away from reality...but things could not go on like that,he knew tht...Sooner or later,he had to decide...
She was sitting on the floor of poolside area, lost sumwhere when she felt sumone's presence.Her heart beat had acquired a fast pace for some unknown reason.and then, with the approaching sounds of heavy but steady steps, she guessed the approaching figure was of him.
He was coming in her direction. after her outbusrt and her confession tht night..for the first time,his presence made her nervous.
she stiffened, but tried to keep herself calm.To her surprise,Arnav sat beside her on the floor.For few minutes passed,but neither of them actually said a word.
"yu wanted to knw..why i forced yu into this marriage..."He said quietly and speechlessly she stared at him.
"I do'nt want to knw..."she murmured softly.
She herself was surprised at her own reaction.Until few days ago,she badly wanted to knw the reason. but when He was ready to answer her questions..she backed out.If tht one truth was going to cost her ..Arnav's peace of mind ...If tht truth was the reason,he was avoiding her even after her confession...then she no longer wanted to know.She knew him too well tht he was breaking down slowly.His behaviour frm the past few days clearly stated the fact.
Arnav was once again astonished by her answer.At tht moment,he wanted to cry his heart out...but he hardned himself again as he could'nt afford to break down.
"I am not going to say sorry Khushi...b'coz I cannot justify anything and disrespect yu with a mere Sorry...I can't turn back the clock but,i'll do whts in my hands and thts the least I can do for yu..."He took a long breath so faintly,she felt it more than heard it.He took a brief pause and then handed her few pieces of paper.Divorce..
"I'm setting yu free..."He added,his voice sounded empty along with his whole features.
Khushi's ears were ringing with his words.She stared at the papers like they were her arch enemy.she despised the sight of them.Scream,her mind ordered..tears escaped her eyes.A strong force was wrenching her heart and she could'nt breathe.
"Arnav..." she stuttered in a whisper,her mind busy trying to stop the tears.
"I can't..." that was all he managed and quickly left frm there...and left behind her broken..
Ever felt like yu were Atlas.Ever imagined how it would feel having tht huongous weight on yur shoulders and the pain radiates to yur heart yu could barely breathe.Ever thought of carrying tht wherever yu go..well,thts wht Arnav felt.NO,its the world he was carrying,but the cluster of emotions he was not able to express the hurt,anger,pain,helplessness and love...
Later,He gathered all his Family members including Guptas nd explained every detail of His forceful marriage to Khushi and now abt their Divorce.Their families were Devasted and shocked...but unlike her family ,she was not shocked to hear the reason behind his actions as sumwhere in her unconscious mind she knew the answer.
Though when his words confirmed her doubts...she was hurt...but wht was more hurting her tht all the family members accused him,cursed him and it was unbearable... still she wanted to say tht it was'nt all this fault and tht he was also a victim of the circumstances like her...but he stopped her doing so as he placed his hand lightly on her hand shaking his head and hushing her words.
And...she left...unwillingly accepting tht it was over...She understood tht Arnav's guilt overshadowed every feeling in his existence and he would never be able to love her without feeling guilt,regret tht was killing him slowly like poison.He needed redemption not frm her or anyone else but from himself to be able to live again..breathe again and may be love again...She came to realise tht love was more than just feeling butterflies in yur stomach or feeling weak on yur knees.Sumtimes,it also involved a lot of patience ,understanding,and at times..letting the person go if needed,no matter bad yu wanted to stay with them.When yu love sumone for real,the world does'nt revolve around wht yu wanted.Yu started to give thought to every single thing there was.
"Khushi...Do'nt leave me..."He did'nt know how to give voice to his plea.He needed her...loved her,but hell he needed to deal with his own demons.They were controlling him,destroying his chance of happiness.They kept his heart captive,refusing to let him reach out to her...Letting her go was Difficult,but It was much more difficult and painful to hold her...
A sad thing about life is ... when you meet someone that means a lot to you, only to find out in the end, that it was never bound to be ... and you just have to let go...
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Finally Finished this heavy duty OS...Plzzz Hit the "Like " button and Do Comment as it means a lot to me... Write yur very first feeling or reaction after reading this...I appreciate Constructive criticisim ...So tell me..how was this????
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OS-Bad manners
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