Posted:
~ain't.letting.you.go~
an.arshi.ss
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index
Part 1: Ain't Letting You go -Page 1
Part 2: And Yet Again, We Fight -Page 8
Part 3: His Wish, Her Thoughts and Our Memories - Page 12
Part 4: Bring Her Back... Don't Even Talk To Him - Page 14
Part 5: Back To Square One - page 18
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Part 1 - Ain't Letting You Go
I sat on my bed watching over di, sleeping soundly. She really is such a kid. First she decides to fast, eats nothing all day and then, out of the blues, has the feeling to cook up a continental dinner for me. Like, seriously? Lost in thoughts, my eyes fell on my slightly injured palm. The cut from her broken bangles brought back the memories of last night and all of a sudden, I wondered if she came to the office today. I remembered how I had told off Lavanya for calling her "chamikili". I wonder why I was hurt by that remark made on her. I mean, she is she right? So why should I care? Maybe I was just angry at Lavanya and told her off. Annoyed at my confused state of my mind, I got up and decided to leave for work. Writing a note for di, I walked downstairs with my laptop bag in my hand. As I walked out of the room, I heard the intercom ring and walked back in to attend it. It was the guard.
"Sir, Khushi ma'am is here to see you."
"Khushi?" I asked. I wondered what she was doing here at this time of the day. "Send her in."
A few minutes later, I saw her walk into the house while I sat on the couch, waiting impatiently for her. For some odd reason, I really wanted to see her and make sure that she was okay. I stood up as soon as I saw her and realised that she was holding a white envelope in her hand. Her resignation? She was resigning? Why am I not feeling happy? Isn't that what I wanted? I screamed inwardly and walked towards her. But before I could say anything, di spoke. Wait, why isn't she in bed resting?
"Khushi. How are you now? Arnav told me about last night. Are you feeling okay? Arnav, don't tell me you called her for some work again. If you did, then I won't spare you."
"No, he didn't call me." She smiled, but there was something else in her eyes. Fear? A hint of fear? Maybe. After what I did last night, she was bound to be scared. "I' I came myself. For some work."
"Di, go and rest. I don't want you to faint again." I ordered di but she refused.
"No, I am going to sit here with Khushi and talk to her."
"Faint? Are you okay Anjali ma'am? You should rest." She was concerned? For my di? She didn't even know her, and she cared. And then there was Lavanya. Did she care about my family even a bit? The answer ' no she didn't. Wait, why I am comparing Lavanya and Khushi?
"Don't call me ma'am. Call me di. Ma'am, urgh, I don't like the sound of it. And nothing happened to me, I just fainted. I was fasting and that's it. Nothing much. You don't need to worry."
"You want to talk to me right? Let's go in your bedroom and we'll talk there. You should rest. Did you eat something?"
They started to walk towards di's room and I realised I had to ask why Khushi came here. But something told me to keep it for later. Something told me it wasn't good news.
****
I talked to her for what seemed like hours, but I knew it hadn't been that long. I wonder how she and that lad governor could be siblings. I mean, she is so sweet and he' oh god, he is the most rude and arrogant person ever. That's when I realised that I was still holding that white envelope in my hand. I hadn't resigned. Oh god, me and my habit of talking. He would have gone by now.
"Khushi, why are you so tensed? Is everything okay?" Di asked.
"Uh, ya. Everything is fine. Just' um, I forgot to do what I was meant to do and my old habit of talking got the better of me and' this is not good."
"Slow down. What is it that you came here to do?"
"I' err' I wanted to' um, resign. From this job. And that lad governor '" I bit my tongue as I realised what I was saying. "I mean, Arnav sir would have gone by now."
****
"Your lad governor boss hasn't gone anywhere Miss Khushi Kumari Gupta." I stifled a laugh as I saw her eyes go wide with fear, and then, in a fraction of seconds, something like determination crossed her face. "So, you are finally resigning. You lose, I win. Just as I thought." I loved fighting with her, loved seeing her boil with anger and especially loved her comebacks.
"If I would have lost Mister Arnav Singh Raizada, then I wouldn't have had the guts to come to your house and give this resignation to you in your very own hands. I could have given it to Lavanya Ji as well in the office." She was getting angry. Mission accomplished.
I could see that di was enjoying already. Let the fun begin. Di's smile was the most precious thing for me, and if fighting with her did that, then bring it on. "I hope you have that check of 1 lakh with you."
"Oh no I don't." Attitude? She was giving me attitude? Why does she affect me so much? "This good for nothing job of yours, I don't accept it. I maybe a small town girl from a poor house Mister Raizada but no way in hell will I ever going to do a job that troubles my jiji. I know I am not the rich one here, I know I don't have the power of money like you do, but I have self-respect that you too have for yourself, and that self-respect is exactly why I am not going to do this job. I am not made for standing in rains, going to construction houses and most of all, I am not made for doing a job that hurts my jiji. I would have continued on, but when I see my jiji cry and break down, when I see the fear in her eye, I know that is when I have hit the limit. And so, Mister Raizada, please accept my resignation letter and free me from this hell." Her words stung me like a sting-ray's sting. It hurt' it hurt real bad to hear that cold voice. I looked down as guilt took over me, and for the first time in my life, I couldn't see someone in the eye and defend myself. I looked at di and she looked away, clearly showing that I deserved this. But really, was I going to give up this fight so easily?
"If you don't have that money, then don't make up excuses. Because I can understand that you cannot afford that amount and so, this time, I will let you go." I wanted to see that Khushi who fought with me and wasn't cold.
"Wake up Mister Raizada, and realise that it was your mistake. It's not about the money anymore. Not for me at least. For me, it's all about self-respect and my family. As for you, all you care about is money. You know what? I don't want to go down that path anymore." And with that, she walked towards me and thrust the letter in my chest. "I hope I never ever bump into you again." And with that, she walked out.
****
I hated myself for what I did. But this time, I was going to put my family before me. But why did it hurt to leave this job? With every step I took, the heaviness in my heart increased and as I moved away from this job, a pain rose in my heart. Tears stung my eyes as I rushed out of the room and down the stairs. Why was I unhappy and why these tears? Why was I so emotionally attached to something that only gave me pain? To a job that gave me nothing but troubles? Was it the job I was attached to' or was it him I was attached to? Shut up Khushi. I reprimanded myself. Seriously, what was I thinking?
****
She didn't mean a single word she said, did she? I am sure she didn't. And I wasn't going to let her go like this. No, either she stays or' or she pays. She cannot break the contract. Really, how dare she? I tried to shut all the other thoughts about why I was feeling so bad that she left. It is all about the contract. Nothing else. Nothing. Else. I chanted the words in my mind as I turned on my heels and followed her out to stop her. Because right now, I only knew one thing - I ain't letting her go.
O~o~o~o~O
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