Omkara OS: One Day I'll Forgive Her

It was 12:55 p.m. already. Shivaay's engagement ceremony was to start at 1 p.m. God! He is going to kill me for not being on time. And i'm going to kill this little monster besides who literally forced me get my hair done at a salon. Like really? Rudra took choti maa's "Banno ki saheli" comment too seriously it seems. Whatsoever. It's better to agree to his unnecessary demands rather to see his tantrums.

So finally we were ready. White. The colour theme. I like it,to be honest. But. Mumbai Traffic. Someone kill me already. Its been almost half an hour, and hadn't moved a bit. Some crowd had gathered a infront, it seemed. Getting restless i finally stepped out of the Car, cutting through the crowd see, what was happening.

They say life isn't easy. But why me always. Everytime i feel i'm out of the dark pit i'm thrown into every other time,my life pushes me back. Everytime.

My head instantly spinned, as i saw the sight infront of my eyes. Her. After freaking 6 months. And in a pool of blood. Her eyes. Closed. Her face. Lifeless. Not able to understand my emotions, i fell to the ground. My eyes not leaving her sight.Without a blink. My head numb.

"Ishaana" i wanted to shout but the words just didn't come out. I could feel my eyes getting wet. A wave of nausea engulfed me. The world spinning infront of my eyes.

I got back to my senses, when a tensed and teary-eyed Rudra, shook me hard.

"O.. Ishaana" he could barely speak. I still hadn't registered if all this was real. Or just a hallucination.

"Bhaiyaa.." he said.. "We need to take her to the hospital" Rudra continued, tears in his eyes.

I moved forward and took her lifeless hands into my shivering ones.

"Ishaaana.. Get up.." I say shooking her lightly, caressing her face. My white kurta stained with her blood.

Please Ishaana Please. Get Up. I can't see you like this. No. Not even after what you did to me. No. Get up. Say something. You know I don't like you being this silent. You know that. Get up. I'll die. Please.

"O.. Chalo" Rudra shouted, as he picked up Ishaana in his arms and ran towards the car. Without knowing, my feet dragged me behind him.

I helped him, putting her into the back seat,her head on my lap. Her hair were coming on her face, which i lightly put behind her ear. She hated it. She hated her hair coming on her face. And the first tear fell. And i didn't know when i started sobbing.

"Don't go Ishaana.. Please don't go. Come to me" i cried to her.

What an irony. 6 months back.

"Go away.. Just go away. Leave me alone.. Never show your face to me again" my own voice echoed in my ears. I had not meant this. This. I swear i didn't. I never wanted this for you. I never wished something bad for you. Never. Believe me.

"She'll be alright O.. Don't worry" Rudra pt up smile to me. But all i could see was her lifeless face. I looked at her face closely just to see her tired features. The glow she had on her face always was not there. Her eyes dark. She wasn't the lively girl i once knew. She wasn't the girl who conned me for my money, for my name. It wasn't her. She was the helpless lady i saw on the stairs that day, when i met her the second time.

I came out of my reverie, when the car halted.

We rushed her inside the hospital immediately.

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"Where the hell are you two?" Shivaay yelled as soon as i picked up the phone.

"Shivaay" i let out a sight.

"Care to explain? It's 2:30 already. And like an idiot i have been calling you both for so long and you don't even think there's a need to pick up the damn phone" He continued without listening.

"I'm in the hospital, God Damn'it. At Least hear me out" i say in frustration, realizing a second later that he must be worried.

"Om.. Are you fine?" he asked in a concerned voice.

I couldn't speak. Words were just not coming out. Tears pooling in my eyes.

"Om" he said

"I'm not okay" i managed to speak whilst crying.

"Ishaana had an accident" i continued.

"I'm coming" he said and cut the call.

Wiping my tears i got up, And walked towards the operation Theatre.Looking through the small glass window, i saw her clenched in wires all over. I just couldn't see her like that. With every moment a part of me was dying. I fell to the ground and clutched my knees. And cried. I don't know when i had cried like this before. Not even when i got to know her truth. Not when i threw her out of life. Not when she crushed my heart.

Everything was happening because of me. I wanted her to go away. I wanted her to leave me alone. God took my words too seriously.

I immediately stood up as i saw the doctor come out of the OT, wiping my tears.

"How is she, Doctor? She will be fine right?" i asked the doctor. The doctor sighed.

"Her state is still critical Mr. Oberoi, lots of internal injuries! And.." the doctor said.

"And?" i asked carefully.

"And we couldn't save her baby!" the doctor said sadly.

"Baby?" i almost got numb.

"It was a complicated pregnancy. And this is making her case even more complicated. We told her this is risky for her life, But you know, what it is to a mother.. Don't worry we are trying our best" The doctor said before leaving.

I fell to a bench nearby. Not able to react. A baby.

"Omkara.. Listen to me.. There is something i need to tell you.. Please listen to me once." she had cried infront of me.

"Enough of your drama.. What story are you going to create now? See now whatever you say, i won't ever believe you so just stop wasting your time here" I shouted and threw her out of my room.

And she went away. Until today when i saw her.

I was the culprit. Everything that was happening to her was because of me. I was the one to be blamed. She was in this condition because of me.

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I did not realise when i had slept. It was morning. I was sleeping on the bench, with my head on Shivaay's lap. On the floor, Rudra was sleeping in taking support of the chair. I didnt know when shivaay came in. I did not remember anything about yesterday except the fact that my life was going away from me. I got up carefully,not wanting to disturb Shivaay and Rudra.

I went forward to see her in the ICU when doctor came.

"Congratulations Mr. Oberoi, She is out of danger now. She was fine yesterday night, just we didnt wanted to disturb your sleep"

I finally took a breathe of relief and smiled a bit.

"She just gained conscious,the nurse doing some check-ups, you can meet her in sometime" the doctor said keeping her hand on my shoulder assuringly.

"Thanks" i mumbled lightly, and walked towards her room.

I was just going to open the door when i stopped and pushed myself back. No. I can't do this. I can't face her. I can't let her know that care. After everything she did to me.

I leaned on the glass wall of her room and caressed her face through the glass. Her head bandaged. Multiple wires/pins inserted on her hands. Her eyes blank. Tears had already started flowing though my eyes.

She looked at the nurse expectantly. I could see pain in her eyes.

"How are you feeling now Ma'am" the nurse asked her. She was visibly in pain.

"Sister, my baby?" she asked.

"I'm sorry Ma'am, we couldn't save your baby. I'm sorry"

I saw her face fell and tears pooling in her eyes. She started crying silently. Tears flowing making her eyes red. I cried along with her. This was killing me. Seeing her in so much, yet not being able to console her.

"Vo mere Om ki akhri nishaani thi mere paas.. Why did you save me then.. Why? You should've let me die." i could hear her mumble to herself before she started crying even more.

"Ma'am please be strong, you can't stress yourself right now. You are really lucky that Sir brought you here. If there was even a slight delay, we don't know what would've happened." nurse said.

"Who brought me here" Ishaana asked.

No. No. I was not ready for this. Not at this moment.

"Omkara Singh Oberoi" the nurse answered.

I saw her face lit up for a second and then the painful expression took over.

"Is he still here" she asked expectantly.

"Let me check" the nurse answered.

This was not happening. She can't know i'm here. I went up to Shivaay and woke him up.

"Shivaay.. I'm going home" i told him.

"But why..? Kya hua? Tu theek hai"? He questioned.

"I am fine. She is fine now. I don't think we are needed here anymore, I'll check about the payments" i said turning back, trying to hide my tears.

"That's already done Om. You don't want to meet her?" he asked me.

"No. No. I don't have the power to take this pain anymore. I don't want to give her any hope."

"You still love her and you know that. I know that. It's there in your eyes." he said turning me towards him

"It really doesn't matter Shivaay. It doesn't. I can't forget what she did to me. Never. I still love her, that's my problem. I'll get over it soon. Dont worry.. I don't want to drown myself in that pain again" i said, my face down, as tears threatened to fall.

Shivaay pulled me into a hug and i gave in instantly and cried my heart out.

"Why me always?" i cried to him.

He just patted my back, calming me.

Probably even he didn't have the answer to my question. No one had the answer. Maybe one day i will get my answer. Maybe one day, my life will be sorted. Maybe one day i'll be happy. Maybe one day, i will finally forgive her. One day.