Explanation!!!

Hi guys

Highly informative post.

Originally posted by: SanayaK

Highly informative post.

must have taken lot of effort on your part to prepare this.

well done. 👏

Thanks for the info along with proofs

Originally posted by: AnjuRish

Thanks for the info along with proofs

Its so different from the views we have grown up with

I must send bhai loads of love for all the advise, self defence education and support when growing up

Is it like an explanation for Kabir's actions or are you questioning Kabir's actions on the basis of these? 😕 I didn't get it.

Originally posted by: MsChanadlerBong

Is it like an explanation for Kabir's actions or are you questioning Kabir's actions on the basis of these? 😕 I didn't get it.

Well, I grew up in a liberal muslim family so I can't claim to be an expert but to the best of my knowledge Islam had clear division of responsibility assigned for men and women. The primary role of the man is to be the provider while the primary role of the woman is to be the homemaker. Both are expected to take care of each others happiness and keep each other content through fulfilling their primary responsibilities. Work in Islam is not seen as something being empowering and staying at home is not looked upon as disempowering. The sole purpose of working outside is to earn money and that is what the man is expected to do while the lady of the house is expected to oversee the smooth functioning of the house. There are strict guidelines as to how a wife is to be treated by her husband and how a husband is to be treated by his wife. According to religious leaders, Allah has done this to avoid conflict and ensure harmony among couples where neither one is more empowered than the other: they each have their roles to play in each other's lives and in society. However, in situation where a woman needs money, she can of course go out to earn a living. As I said, in Islam you only work to earn money, it has nothing to do with empowerment or identity.

Unfortunately, patriarchy and religion are very closely linked and like all other religion, Islam has been used to support values of the patriarchal society. The person who has the money is the decision-maker. Hence, husbands whose wives don't work think because they earn money, they can take all decisions by themselves or they have control over their wives. But in Islam a woman can actually ask for diborce if her husband fails to provide for her because the man is supposed to earn to run the family, not be control his family members. Interestingly, each penny the husband earns belongs to the wife but whatever asset the wife owns is not the husbands because it is not a woman's responsibility to provide financial support to the family, her property or money is for her to do as she pleases. Also, in Islam, a woman does not need to stay in a joint family: taking care of husband's parents or siblings is in no way the responsibility of the wife. Both are supposed to be respecful towards thier own and each other's parents, fulfill their responsibility towards their parents as they see fit but in-laws have no say in a couples life. Again, patriarchy has reinforced a woman to move in to her husband's home after marriage: Islam has nothing to do with it. After marriage, a couple is expected to have their own home and their separate responsibilities to fulfill in the smooth functioning of their home. They can both seek divorce if they do not get along together although Allah does not endorse divorce but it is recommended to being unpleasant to each other.

So yes, Kabeer is not wrong in expecting Zaara to stay at home because he believes her home is her responsibility but she has nothing to show to his mother or she has no responsibility to keep his mother happy, the way he had put it. Also, keeping Zaara happy is his responsibility just like keeping him happy is Zaara's, so if looked at it from that way, if working makes Zaara happy, as a man of Islam, he should let her work. His discussing his dream with Zaara,again,is something a muslim man is supposed to do. Our Prophet (SA) used to consult his wife Ayesha (RA) is all different kinds of matter. If Islam as outlined in marriage is strictly followed to the word, there would be no repression, no unfairness and no unhappiness in marriages between couples. However, men have interpreted it in their own ways, selected only what suits them and rejected what empowers a woman.

On a lighter note, Zaara's romantic fantasy regarding her husband?..lol..if Kabeer knew she wanted to sleep with him, as a muslim man, he would be required to fulfill her wish . Muslim man and woman are both responsible to keep their partners physically satisfied as Islam acknowledges it as one of the basic human needs. However, Islam forbids man to demand sex from his wife when he is angry because he may end up hurting her. Oh, how I wish muslim men followed Islam to the word and not as per their convenience

^^^^