Hasi Ban Gaye Ho Tum-Fan-Fic Chap 3 UPD- PG4 - Page 2

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jhanvibella thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#11
tahani nice one dear 😃😃 looking forward for more updates 😛😛
Tahani01 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#12
Thanks everyone for the lovely comments, and I do hope to keep you all entertained by my story line, thank you all 😊😃
Cinnamon_Kisses thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#13
hi tahani😃 read the character sketch... viplav and dhani are described perfectly... the contradiction is understood... wherein he is a pampered and loved child and she is the hated being who has to struggle alwways... a few words said it all... a wonderful start...
m sorry will read the first chap as soon as poosible... just stuck up with some work now...
so dear...congratulations on your first ff and so that of the forum😉 looking forward to the story😳

preetywoman thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#14
Wonderful start. 👍🏼
Eagerly waiting for the story to unfold. 😊
max_thakker thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#15
hey its great to know someone who is writing on this tricky subject. kindly update soon as m eagerly waiting to rad the next few chapters.
Tahani01 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#16

"Rakshas"...

Chapter Two
Andere Mai Galtiya

The celebratory smirk suddenly turned into a scowl, he was angry, his breathing became very loud, almost like a bull who someone has teased. His grip on Dhaani's wrist loosened and she struggled free and quickly turned towards the door to leave, but her kidnapper had other plans. Vipluv threw an arm over her shoulders and engulfed her in a back hug. He reduced the distance between their faces, causing Dhaani's breathing to be rapid and her heartbeats to be almost audible to him. He huskily whispered into her ear,

"well since you have already given me that name, let me do something to deserve it"

His left hand slid under her pallu and covered her entire stomach, his cold hand made Dhaani shiver, his hand pulled Dhaani even closer to himself, not even allowing air to pass between them. Dhaani knew this was wrong, that this was something which Shiv-Ji would never forgive her for.

Vipluv took advantage of her silence and pushed her on the bed, before looming his body over her delicate figure, Dhaani wanted to scream, and fight but she knew that would mean someone would find them, and in the end she would be blamed for the situation,

She struggled under his weight, punching and scratching his chest. Vipluv just laughed at her attempts to be free, but his laugh unexpectedly turned into a smile, he was staring at Dhaani, actually admiring her beauty, she had a round, smooth, milky brown face, her nose was cute and button like, her lips were thin, and of a deep red colour, due to the darkness in the room. Then his eyes met hers, and her struggle halted, he stared at her hazel brown eyes that were filled with tears begging to be freed. He had seen many beautiful models and actresses but none of them even came close to the girl before him, her innocence, her purity and fighting nature struck something within him, it was like his heart was hurting looking at her tears, he immediately let go and got up from the bed. He turned his back to her sheepishly and walked to the other side of the room.

He could hear her sobbing and wanted to comfort her, he wanted to apologize for his childish antics.

Dhaani got up and wiped her tears, she was strong, she was not going to allow the devil in front of her to break her. She questioned him in a mocking tone

"why stop now? what was I not to your liking? did you not want to destroy me completely"

Her condescending tone made Vipluv angry, how could she even think that he would rape her, he faced her and then came to grips with reality. Raping her was exactly what he was doing, without knowing or realising Vipluv was going to scar this innocent girl before him forever. He covered his face regretting all the things that had happened.

Vipluv stomped to his cupboard, and took out a shirt and threw it at her. He demanded her to put the shirt on and informed her that he will take her home safely. Vipluv's small prank and act of revenge turned into a regrettable crime and something which he would never forgive himself for. Vipluv enjoyed pranks but never had he taken it to such an extreme, something about Dhaani enraged him, it angered him how her attitude was with him, it infuriated him that he acted in such a manner with a women, and it annoyed him that the look of despair on Dhaani's face brought pain to his heart.

The trip from the Rakshas's bedroom to the ashram was a blur, all Dhaani remembered was that she fell unconscious in front of the ashrams entrance, and she now woke up in her bed, the hard, cold and ever so familiar bed. She exhaled letting out all the bad feelings, preparing herself to be questioned by her Mayi, mocked at by Laxmi and Sunehri, and comforted by her strongest support, her Supriya Maa. She looked in the mirror and visualised his eyes, staring at her. A single tear fell down her face as she promised herself that if they ever met again, she would confront him about his silly and childish act.

Before she entered the shower, a little ball of paper fell from her saree, she read it in her head

"I know what I did was a mistake, but it was your fault for defying me earlier and refusing to take my Uttara or apology. I have told the ladies of the ashram that I found you unconscious and brought you back home, if you want to save your honour I suggest you stick with the story, and keep whatever happened yesterday, a secret between us"

Dhaani could not believe his audacity to blame it on her, forget about confronting him, she was going to ignore him. She spoke aloud in a decisive manner

"Such rakshas's don't even understand a humans feelings so why even talk to them"...

To be continued

Please leave your comments and criticism below, and don't forget to press like J

Guruvishva thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#17
First of all thumbs up for your narration..Viplav & A bull..the anger..great work..it was interesting..Though I didn't want Viplav to go so cheap..but it was a daring scene too..nice to read ..great going..Viplav couldn't control himself from anger he went to another stage..poor Dhani couldn't do anything..But then he recognized what he did & our JKR Dhani again insulted him..The last part was cute the note he wrote for Dhani..Overall I loved the part..In my POV I didn't find anything minus..Waiting for more😆


Last but not the least today also I'm the 1st one to comment😉
Yipeee!!🤣
Edited by Guruvishva - 10 years ago
AISHU183 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#18
I've read ur both the chapters just now so here viplav is bit dark vaise bhi I love bad boyz only onscreen not offscreen😆
Loved both the parts waithing for ur update eagerly dear😊
Tahani01 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#19

Originally posted by: Guruvishva

First of all thumbs up for your narration..Viplav & A bull..the anger..great work..it was interesting..Though I didn't want Viplav to go so cheap..but it was a daring scene too..nice to read ..great going..Viplav couldn't control himself from anger he went to another stage..poor Dhani couldn't do anything..But then he recognized what he did & our JKR Dhani again insulted him..The last part was cute the note he wrote for Dhani..Overall I loved the part..In my POV I didn't find anything minus..Waiting for more😆


Last but not the least today also I'm the 1st one to comment😉
Yipeee!!🤣


Yayyy im glad you enjoyed it, yeh i know i did not want to make Vipluv as someone you can hate but i think in order to bring about better character development, making him do such an act is useful hehe...i love being the fist to comment on othe fan-fics so im excited that someone else is first on mine
😃
stranger2rose thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#20
Definitely he took things very far. What he did was outrageous and not to be forgiven easily. Nice update

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