Posted:
Today once again Sahir was alone and in pain and telling himself he deserved nothing but pain... When will this end?
It's too imbalanced now.. This portrayal... Not for a minute am I saying he was right in playing with arzoos feelings.. He was wrong.. He knows that and regrets it much more than any words from anyone can make him regret! He punished himself... He silently heard what Zaki taunted.. He didn't receive so much as a look of comfort from Alvira... But still he made sure Arzoo didn't leave the house... He was the only one who could stop her.. So for her good he did what seemed wrong to others!
He is so restless that he tried to get peace from the very place Arzoo goes to.. Even there he tells himself that he is running away from himself and he won't ever be at peace
đ.. He is suffering through every moment of this...
He is asking for more punishment and at Arzoos hands.. Because he knows he wronged her.. He wasn't responsible for the horrible incident that happened but he still blames himself.. He thinks he deserves nothing but condemnation..
Why why why is he made to feel he deserves only torture and loneliness... His seven years of pain have brought him to this state.. He has already suffered so much... He yearns for comfort.. But tells himself he cannot hope... He is even afraid to question why he didn't let Arzoo leave and accept that he may have done it because he can't see her leave...
How did he get to this condition... Doesn't he deserve someone who will hug him and tell him he can let out the feelings he is holding in..
He never had that when he suffered at the hands of zeenat and that had made him what he is now... And the cycle continues!
Everyone gets a chance to be good... Zaki... He is mahaan... Because he sat by Arzoo... His deeds swept under the carpet.. He doesn't regret or remember.. He has put the blame on Sahir and become great.. And Alvira... Acting like nothing that happened was her fault... In fact that nothing happened..!
And who is alone.. The guy who in the dead of night cannot stop thinking about Arzoo.. Who tells a sleeping arzoo that he is sorry for what he did.. Who cries genuine tears of regret but cannot show them to her.. Who is possessive enough to want to remove her hand from zakis clasp but cares enough to cover up a sleeping Zaki and switch off the light so his sleep is not disturbed.
Sahir is not right but he hasn't done wrong for pleasure... He is this way because he never had anyone to ensure he remained what he was.. So much apathy has brought him here... How much more blame.. How much more loneliness is there in his fate..
Seriously now the tide has to turn.. The dam has to burst.. Because enough is really enough! Sahir deserves some peace now!
Udne Ki Aasha
