I dare..

Let go of the past and the past will let go of you.

So easy to say something like that, isn't it? But reality is that our past makes us what we are today. It has the strength to shape our soul and leave its imprint forever in our minds. That's what Arzoo Nausheen Khan is about. A girl shaped by her past. A past that saw the man who was supposed to be her family's protector desert them all like yesterday's garbage and walk away without an ounce of regret. A past that included witnessing her mom pining for the man she loved, making her emotionally weak. The emotional security that children around her had had, which she and her sisters were deprived of. Because behind her mother's weakness was her guilt that she could not give what her husband wanted the most. A boy. A son.

Why? What was wrong with having a daughter? What is it that a son can do that a daughter can't? A girl can't support her mother and sisters and grandmother? A girl can't provide emotional and physical support to her family? Can't go out, learn to work, work and become successful? Can't make her mother proud? Oh yes. She can. She can do all that. Who needs a man! Men only make women weak. And Arzoo Nausheen Khan would never be weak. She would show the world and that husband of her mother what a girl with willpower in her mind and strength in her heart can do.

Thus began Arzoo's journey. She provided the emotional support and security her sisters needed, the pillar against which her mother and grandmother could lean on, a wall against anyone who would dare to look at her family in a wrong way. In other words, she became the man of the house.

Then came the day when she had to leave the security of her home and home town to face the world. Allah knows, she was going to be the best designbaaz the country has ever seen and Mumbai is the place to prove herself. Little did she know what awaited her there. The girl who until that day was her own boss was suddenly a junior intern in a huge fashion house. And not just any fashion house. THE fashion house - Saiyyara. The girl who was used to everyone listening and following her orders suddenly had to take orders from the boss who was a master in blowing hot one second and cold the next. Allah knows..just who is this Sahir..no..Gabbar Chaudhary? Yes, she has answered back to him. So what? She didn't say anything wrong, did she? It was unprofessional maybe but it was the right thing to do. So she did. Arzoo does whatever it is that feels right for her. She would not lie down and let people trample all over her. No sir. And even if she did docile, it was not as if the people around her were being friendly or respectful, were they? Either she was treated as an inanimate object with no feelings or talked down like a lowlife. But she wouldn't cry. Why should she cry? She was not some weak female who succumbed to tears at the drop of a hat. Yes, people here didn't like her. So what? It was fine with her.

Amidst those hostile strangers and bear with a sore paw of a boss, she found a smiling face. Zaki Chaudhary. An incorrigible flirt. But one who extended his hand of friendship without hesitation. Who realized that she was missing her family and tried to wipe away her unseen tears. Who with his crazy antics and filmy Jahanara dialogues lightened her otherwise tense days. Of course she knew he chased anything in a skirt but he never tried to cross the line that she drew. She got herself a friend. Then that friend left for Paris and she was alone again. Not alone alone but..

That period brought another unexpected person into her life. Her boss. He was moody, silent, short tempered, even a little quirky but..he was a good man. He saw her talent and gave her the due credit. She saw his protective side first in the office when Anam stole her designs and later in the forest when he saved her life. That endeared him to Arzoo like nothing else would have. The protective attitude towards her from a man - the biggest factor that had been missing in her life until then. And he told her that he respects her. For her that meant he trusted her. After all, trust and respect went hand in hand, didn't they? And he proved it time and again when he came to her defense. Be it about her designs or about her character. He trusted her. No questions asked. There hadn't been a spark of doubt while he shielded her from the allegations. Gabbar Chaudhary became Sahir sir.

And he took care of her mother. Probably saved her life. He still blew hot and cold with her. And she never knew where she stood with him. Whenever they were close, something happened to both of them. It was like being in a magnetic force field pulling them both towards each other despite their resistance. His arms imprisoned her while his lips formed the words go away. Why was she always thinking about him? Has she fallen in love with him? No, of course not. Love was for weak people. And Arzoo is not weak. Would never be weak. And even if she is, doesn't mean she was going to fall at his feet and declare her feelings. Arzoo didn't fall at his feet. Nor did she let Sahir or anyone else know her turmoil.

Amidst the turmoil, fate threw another curveball at her. All her life she was surrounded by women so maybe that made her a little nave when it came to men. Maybe that's why there had been no hesitation on her part while entering her boss's room or even Zaki's room unannounced. She is immune to Zaki and the thought never crossed her mind that Zaki is not immune to her. That his feelings had started to change. That he is mistaking the reason behind her smiles. While she had been helping him because he was her friend, he was looking at her actions in a different light. Her attempt to save the deal for her Sahir sir and make sure nothing and no one mars his reputation was being looked upon as her love for Zaki.

And even Sahir sir is asking for explanations! Why? He never did before, did he? He trusted her before, didn't he? Then where was that trust now? Why does he need proof now when he never did before? She never opened her mouth and tried to find ways and means to prove her innocence before. She had never needed to. So why now? What has changed? Where is his trust and respect now? It did not enter her mind that every single time that he sided her, he had proof of her innocence. That it was not blind trust that he was showering. He was just being fair by going with the evidence in his hands.

All she could think was he shielded her before and now he was among those slinging arrows at her! And why was he looking at her that way? As if waiting for her to speak so that he can finally slay her with his words. That's it? His trust and respect? If so then fine. I dare. I dare to be silent.

I have to accept that penning down Arzoo was tougher than Sahir's turbulent thoughts. Maybe because for the most part, she has been a tightly closed book. So this is just a small attempt to open that book and let a few of her thoughts out. Thank you for reading.