~Forced Enemies?~ chap 8 on page 3 - Page 2

So anyway... nobody seems to like it 😭 and its my fav fic ever 😭😭

The story's nice and stuff, but I have a few suggestions😊:

1. Seperate each paragraph by double spacing. Sometimes when readers see a huge 'clump' of words, they tend to skip over it or not pay much attention. Also, try not to add so many chapters on one post. Readers get a little intimidated, and might not read all of it. Post one chapter at a time, in between each chapter, readers will post their thoughts on what they thought of each individual chapter. It's much more helpful if you have individual reviews on each chapter than a few reviews for the entire story or a few chapters.
2. Add some more literary devices, such as similes, metaphors, and hyperboles. They make the story much more interesting and smoother. Also, the reader can imagine what's happening right in their head.😊
3. Add a tad bit more imagery, describe and elaborate a bit more. Sometimes imagery can set mood too. For example, when you think of a dark, cold castle with mice lurking around, it creates a spooky mood.😎
4. Cut back a little on the dialouge.👍🏼

Keep writing and I expect a few more stories!👏

~Unnati

CHAPTER 8

Sirius and Alex were sitting in their cubicle. Alex was writing her assignment under the table and Sirius was taking care of the work they were supposed to do. This time Sirius wasn't complaining because he was asked to look through advertisements and categorize them by size. He was enjoying this as most of the ads had girls in them. Enough said? He whistled once in a while when he came across a girl he approved of.

"Stop that!" she snapped.

"What?"

"Don't whistle. I am trying to concentrate!"

"Sirius Black?" asked a girl popping her head inside before Sirius could retort. Sirius turned his head and grinned flirtatiously when he saw the brunette. She blushed as any other girl would under his spell. Alex exhaled irritated.

"Yes?" he asked in a husky smooth voice which made Alex want to roll her eyes.

"Umm…" the girl stammered, unable to take her eyes off Sirius.

"What is it?" snapped Alex.

"There is a phone call for you… at the desk." She said her eyes still on Sirius.

"I am coming… will you be there?" he asked, running his hand casually through his hair as he got up.

"Yea… considering I sit behind the counter…" she said, batting her eyelashes in a not-so-concealing way.

"I guess I will be coming up to make a lot of phone calls now I know that!" he said winking as he made a move to walk out. The girl went forward and Sirius stayed back a little. He then turned to Alex.

"What is a phone call?" he asked bewildered.

"It is a device through which you can call people!" she said rolling her eyes.

"But…" he started wanting more explanation.

"No time Sirius. Somebody is waiting there. Just come along!" she said grabbing his hand and walking to the phone. He looked confused but he knew that if somebody called them at work it was really important. She did not let go of his hand even when she picked up the phone. But Sirius was too busy flirting with the brunette to actually think of that.

"Hello?" There was a pause "Oh…" Pause. "We will be right there!" she then kept the phone in its receiver and turned to Sirius.

"We gotta go. Now!" she said hurriedly. Sirius then turned to her in his cautious I-am-flirting-and-have-to-look-good-at-every-angle way. She knew that too well by now. It happened in the bus, at their office, at her study place, at home, when they are having coffee…

"We don't have time for this." She said and turned to the brunette, "he is available at 555-3625. Call after 7. See you!" she said pulling him along but not before he flashed a smile. Alex had to suppress a grin at the typical Sirius.

*~*

"Summer Camp?" exclaimed Sirius and Alex together and gave each other horrified looks.

"With him?"

"With her?"

They said this at the same time.

"I am afraid this is necessary for the safety of children. I would like to take the dark mark as a warning and prevent anything that might happen."

"But professor… why not anybody else?" asked Sirius.

"Because you people could pose as if you are covering the camp for a report."

"But you said we are going as counselors!"

"Yes. Or else you will not be allowed to be part of it. This is a very famous annual camp and lots of children will be coming to take part. And there will be other counselors, your age, boys and girls!" said Dumbledore looking significantly at Sirius with a glint in his eye.

"I am in!" said Sirius automatically.

"Puh-lease! You just want to go only because of the girls!"

"And you just don't want to because of Will!"

"At least I know who Will is and what his last name is!"

And for the millionth time, their voices rose, overlapping and trying to speak louder than the other. Eventually nobody could understand anything.

"Sirius! Alex!" Called Dumbledore. They fell silent and looked at him.

"That is enough. You are going. This is not a personal war. This is a war for Peace. No more word from both of you."

"Yes Professor!" they muttered, too busy glaring at each other to notice the looks that passed between James and Lily.

*~*

"Sirius Black get down here this instant!"

"Who are you to order me around Al – Hey Lily!" he said changing his tone when he saw who was standing at the bottom of the stairs.

"Sirius, did you take Alex's wand?"

"No!"

"Sirius!" said Lily sternly.

"Here it is!" surrendered Sirius dejectedly, pulling the wand out of his back pocket.

"Lily, did you find my – thank you!" said Alex as she took her wand from Lily, "Sirius, are you ready?" she asked turning to Sirius.

"Are you ready?" he asked looking at her up and down and scowling at her dress. She looked down at herself wearing purple tights and an oversized yellow T-shirt which said 'Girls don't always wear Pearls…' she was also wearing a blue scarf around her waist and a handbag across one shoulder.

"What is wrong with this?" she asked folding her arms across her chest.

"For one, what is that sentence across the shirt? Is it because Girls and Pearls rhyme? And then the color combination…"

"Sirius! I think she looks nice!" said Lily in a warning tone. She turned to Alex, "All though you might want to loose the scarf!"

"I am not wearing any!" she said feeling around her neck.

"Around your waist!" pointed out Sirius almost laughing. Alex scowled at him and removed the scarf.

"We have to leave in 15 minutes!" she said and walked away. Lily looked back at Sirius who was looking after Alex.

"Stop staring at her and get a grip!" she teased.

"What? ME? Staring at Alex? Puh Lease!" He launched into a long ramble about how so not hot Alex was. All Lily did was to smile secretly.

*~*

"Whoa! Look at all these girls!" exclaimed Sirius under his breath to Alex.

"That guy looks kinda cute!" whispered Alex to Sirius indicating towards a man who was giving directions to the other councilors. He waved at the two of them and caught Alex's eye.

"Oh my god he is waving!" she whispered.

"You haven't had many boyfriends I see!" said Sirius smirking, "You have to become more mature…You are acting like a second year – whoa baby, one more load has dropped in!" said Sirius looking at the other bus which had just arrived at the campsite.

Alex felt she had had enough. She linked her hand in his and steered him away towards the man giving instructions. Sirius flashed his famous grin around as he walked. This is going to be a long time, thought Alex as she rolled her eyes.

"Hey, are you Alexandra Greene?" called the man.

"Yes! And this is Sirius Black." She said smiling. She heard Sirius snort next to her.

"Well… nice to meet you. I am David Johnson." He said shaking hands with Alex and then Sirius.

"You both are in charge of the 'Daisies' and you will be reporting directly to me. Understood?"

"Sure! Where are the daisies?" asked Sirius looking on the ground searching for some. Alex laughed.

"Sirius, daisies means the name of the group, not the flower!"

"I knew that!" he said grudgingly while Alex raised an eyebrow at him. His pride hurt, he turned to flirt with somebody just to irritate Alex.

*~*

"That's a load of names to remember!" sighed Sirius as he entered the tent he was supposed to share with Alex.

"It's not all that bad. Shirley is the one with braces, Josie is the one with large eyes, Greg is…"

"Stop it!" said Sirius, closing his ears in a dramatic way, "Why is the tent so small? Maybe if I used a little bit of…" He flicked out his wand.

"No!" said Alex reaching out and taking it away from him. But he, expecting this, dodged and Alex lost her balance and fell over, pushing Sirius down in front of her. She ended up lying on Sirius who landed on a rolled up sleeping bag.

"Oof!" she said as she tried to get up. It was very difficult to do that with Sirius also trying to do the same thing under her. Finally when Sirius pulled himself to a somewhat sitting position, Alex was practically on his lap. And while moving their heads around, accidentally their eyes met and they realized how close their faces were to each other. Their lips were so close that it wouldn't require much movement to close the gap between them. For one heart stopping moment Alex found herself hoping that Sirius would lean forward and kiss her. Sirius found himself thinking about the depth of her violet eyes. For some reason his eyes kept moving to her lips and he found himself wondering how they would feel against his. Alex breathed slowly and deliberately as she made no movement to break the intense gaze both of them were sharing, and she found herself looking at the casual way his hair adorned his forehead. Nobody knew how long they would have stayed there if they hadn't been interrupted.

"Alex? David wants you and Sirius to assemble for the councilors meeting." Alex looked away so immediately that her eyes hurt to move so fast.

"T… Tell… Tell him we… um… I… Sirius and I will be there, Shirley." She said. Her voice sounded strange. Shirley did not notice Sirius behind the suitcases that was between them and nodded eagerly before leaving. Alex did not meet Sirius' eyes as she got up and dusted herself. Sirius was in as much of a daze as she was. Both of them did not speak a word to each other till they reached the meeting but walked next to each other silently. It did not escape Alex's notice that Sirius was not even flirting but what she couldn't figure out was the odd feeling in her heart…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hope u read it..hope u like it..n ORDER u to review it 😡!! 😆😆